TRUMP WORLD

Diplomacy has been played since the dawn of civilization with an ever varying cast of rulers, appointees and other persons of interest. What is less well known is that the game of Diplomacy has been played for the last 25 years by those same powers-that-be as a way to promote peace and communicate their differences with no fear for political retaliation. We have received a copy of the current map at the start of Winter (or After Fall) 2017, complete with notes of the disposition of each unit and each center. Explosive stuff!

The cast

Here's a list of the players, their actual occupation, and their respective power on the board. The non-European leaders were invited by their counterparts to take over to bring more muscle to the board, although there may be some regrets there.

Austria	England	France	Germany	Italy	Russia	Turkey
Xi Jinping	Theresa May	Emmanuel Macron	Angela Merkel	Donald Trump	Vladimir Putin	Recep Tayyip Erdogan
President of the Middle Kingdom	Prime Minister of Great Britain	President of the French Republic	Chancellor of Germany	President of the United States	President of Russia	President of Turkey

The map

The units

Austria (Xi Jinping)

• A Naf: Economic mission to Africa to build infrastructure, gain access to resources and build some military bases under the guise of third world development.
• F Mao: Tribute to Mao Zedong, who drove all capitalists into the sea to establish communist rule over China.
• F Nwg: Tapping into the oil reserves off the coast of Norway.
• F Bla: Claimed as an exclusive Chinese sea with artificial island construction under way; various proposals to rename to Yellow Sea, East Chinese Sea or West Chinese Sea.
• A Bud: Praising Lord Buddha or keeping religion in check? A Confucian knot in a country where Communism is still the only allowed state religion.

England (Theresa May)

• A Edi, A Lon, A Lvp: The Brexit program, keeping any immigrants out and cutting ties with the Continent.
• A War: The new British nationals visiting their relatives in their native country.

France (Emmanuel Macron)

• F Rom: Sending the Greenpeace Warrior to signal the fight against climate change and its deniers.
• A Mar: Fending off terrorist threats and the rise of the Front National, the extreme right party of Marine Le Pen.
• A Bel: Brussels, the capital of the EU, requires permanent protection to ensure that the European values continue to reflect the Franco-German consensus.

Germany (Angela Merkel)

• F Gre: A cruise ship arriving in Greece to bring in new tourists with money to bail out the Greek government after the debt crisis.
• A Ven: The tourists take over the city of Venice, demanding free gondola rides to see the sinking city.
• F Kie: Representing the banks that keep Europe and the Euro afloat, but for how much longer?
• A Hol: After the switch of their nations' capitals Macron and Merkel noticed that this didn't really cut down on travel expenses, which is why they decided to settle down in Belgium and Holland.

Italy (Donald Trump)

• F Alb: After a tip that Kim Jong Un had become the dictator of Albania, the pariah of Europe, Trump spared no expenses to eradicate this threat, while other powers quietly took over the nation that had been entrusted to him; what a great way of "winning".
• F Lyo: Nothing says golf resort better than the "Golf of (the) Lion".
• F Wes: Trump's very first action was to send a fleet here and hold it there for the rest of the game in order to symbolize America as defender of the West.
• F Nao: NATO, the North-Atlantic Treaty Organization, perpetuating the American military presence in Europe. What will happen after America exits the stage, no one knows.
• A Sil: Trump sending a reconnaissance party to trace down his ancestry, which is said to have originated from the Ruhr area; but alas the party ended up on the far right of Munich. Silly, eh?
• A Arm: No nation loves (and hates) their arms so much as America does, which is why they just had to come here.

Russia (Vladimir Putin)

• A Nap: Fraternizing with the mob and taking the garbage out.
• F Sev: "The Krim (Crimea) is ours and always will be." What Putin promises, he delivers.
• F Con: Exchange for Stp, this fleet is fully equipped with the latest Russian technologies and ready to take over the rest of Turkey should relations sour (which is bound to happen).
• A Ukr: A proxy army to "protect" Russian citizens and keep the Ukraine eternally in a state of civil war.
• A Syr: Fighting ISIS and Western backed rebels alike to keep friend Assad in the saddle.
• F Bal: Guarding the Baltic Pipeline bringing Russian oil to Western European markets.
• F Hel: When Trump makes a pact with the devil, who do you think he will be meeting in Hell?

Turkey (Recep Tayyip Erdogan)

• F Stp/sc: In contrast to F Con, this fleet was gifted to Turkey by Russia. The crew is completely Russian with no one able to speak Turkish. Only the flag is Turkish, but that can be reverted in a whim.
• F Eas: Erdogan as the Defender of the East; some suspect these fleets to aid the emigration to Europe.
• F Ion: Patrolling the seas or aiding the Arab exodus, who will tell?
• A Spa: Muslims arriving in Europe and sallying forth.
• F Nth: What better way for ISIS to provide training and indoctrination than a secret off-shore base in the North Sea from which to plan their operations against London, Berlin, Paris, Brussels and so forth? Not everyone believes this theory though.

The centers

Home centers:

• F Ber, G Par: Macron and Merkel have swapped their capitals to show their affection and dedication to the European cause.
• R Con, T Stp: And so did Putin and Erdogan; only they swapped Constantinople for St. Petersburg, because they still imagine themselves the righteous heirs of long gone empires.
• R Nap: Putin's mafia connections have made him very popular in this part of Italy. The city of Naples also famously has a garbage collection problem.
• F Rom: Treaty of Rome started the EU (unification of Europe), Treaty of Paris unified the world against climate change. Those unwilling to join (US) get expelled.
• G Ven: The tourist industry, stereotyped by the overweight German.
• E War: After the fall of the Berlin wall Polaks inundated Britain with cheap labor, a precursor to Brexit.

Neutral centers:

• G Gre: German banks bailed out Greece after the debt crisis.
• T Bul: Erdogan as a "bull" with horns who imprisons or executes all his political opponents after the failed coup attempt.
• R Ser: The country that fought against NATO in the Balkan wars of the '90s (with clandestine support from the Russians).
• A Rum: China claims the whole Black Sea as their own (trying to rename it to the Yellow Sea), even though they probably have the shortest shoreline. Artificial island construction in progress. See South China Sea.
• T Spa: The Muslim Re-reconquista, taking the form of a new Holy War to defeat the Christian world (or so they fear), disguised as poor immigrants planting bombs in their host nations.
• F Bel: Brussels hosts the HQ of NATO and the European Parliament, all fawning now for Macron. Also perpetuates the idea that Belgium is just a province of France.
• G Hol, Den, Swe: Showcasts that the true political and economic power in Europe is Germany.

No centers, alas, for Italy. Lots of units though, but that doesn't prevent the country from being eliminated. It's as if Trump doesn't know how to play this game. But that's okay for his voters, he says in defense, who elected him because "he's not a politician, he's not a diplomat, he's going to drain the swamp." And have you ever noticed a swamp in city centers? No! They are outside the centers, in rural areas, where his voters are. That's why he sent the Army there, to drain the swamps (great job opportunities) and hold some more political rallies on the reclaimed lands. Yes, he's winning, despite the facts. The media (at home and abroad) may say differently, but that's just "fake news". (The other powers just shake their heads and carry on without him.)