by Charles Roburn

Most honoured gentlemen,

I was perusing the old (and nearly defunct) e-mail account I used to use for Diplomacy games, and I came across something that may be of interest to you. I thought I would send it on.

A few years ago, I wrote an article in the Spring 2010 Movement issue entitled "All Zombies Must Die!" that described my "zombie" experiment. This was simply a game where I decided to base my play purely on the press I received. Playing England and adopting the persona of the mad Lord Salisbury, I pledged to fight silent players (that is, ZOMBIES) and to ally firmly with whichever player sent me the best press.

As the article explains, that player turned out to be Germany. Together we eliminated the silent France and Russia by 1905.

When the last ZOMBIE army fell, Lord Salisbury was overjoyed. In celebration I wrote a short poem — a Shakespearean sonnet, actually — but I forgot to include that poem in the article!

I therefore offer it for your consideration now:


Five years ago, I swore a swearing dread
To fight the greatest threat that man has known:
Who do not write, but merely LURCH and GROAN.
From Syria to Norway's northern fjords,
From Lisbon to the arid Russian plain,
I sought to stop the EVIL ZOMBIE HORDES;
To free all Europe from their HORRID REIGN!
Now, thanks to God and my good German friend,
Our object is achieved, and we have won!
The MIMES and ZOMBIES both have met their end!
We fought our fight, and now our fighting's done.
So join me as I thank our forces brave
For sending the damn things back to the GRAVE.

Though it may be rather late to add it to the main body of the article (honestly — has it been six years already? Tempus celeriter fugit!), I hope it may provide of some interest to yourselves and your readers.

I remain your devoted servant,

Lord Salisbury, aka Charles Roburn

Charles Roburn

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