Karaoke Diplomacy

By Eva Vandergeld


Burgundy
(To the tune of Let It Be)

When I find my France in times of trouble
Turks and Russians come to me,
Speaking that word of wisdom:
Burgundy

And when my press all goes unanswered
Even from loquacious Italy
Somewhere, someone whispers:
Burgundy

1st Chorus:
Burgundy, Burgundy
Burgundy, yeah Burgundy
Picardy's not the answer-
Burgundy

When the deadline's fast approaching
And black armies are all that I can see
Usenet dorks advise me-
Burgundy

"England's lied-he'll hit the Channel
But you can always trust in me."
Nein. Army Paris goes to-
Burgundy

2nd Chorus:
Burgundy, Burgundy
Burgundy, yeah Burgundy
Gascony?! Get real!
Burgundy




Don't Pass Me Lies
(To the tune of "Don't Pass Me By")

[A quick note: this one focuses on perhaps the three greatest sources of first year lies. The first verse/chorus is a call/response for England going to the Channel. The second verse/chorus concerns dialogue between a conciliatory German and a jilted Russian over Sweden. The third verse/chorus is between Turkey and Russia over the Black Sea.]



Nothing in my inbox.
On the old hard drive.
Nothing but invective
In broadcast now will fly
I didn't want to make it
But Berlin said you'd try
I don't want Brest!
Does this mean you don't trust me anymore?

1st Chorus:
Don't pass me lies, don't make me cry, don't make excuses
'Cause you know England, I see through your ruses
You'd better know, I hate you so. That fleet had better go.
You told me lies. You made me cry.

I hear the plots a'forming
'Tween Moscow and London.
You know I really love you
This year take Sweden
But the Archduke sent me money
My kids need medicine!
"Three builds too much"!?
Does this mean you don't trust me anymore?

2nd Chorus:
Don't pass me lies, don't make me cry, don't make excuses
'Cause you know Kaiser, I see through your ruses
You'd better know, I hate you so. To the Baltic I will go.
You told me lies. I hope you die.

I'm sorry someone lied to you-
Yes, it really quite unfair.
We DMZed the Black Sea
But somehow my fleet's there.
You sent me press filled with hate
And said that we're through.
But that's alright, I'm waiting here
Just waiting to hear from you!

3rd Chorus:
Don't pass me lies, don't make me cry, don't make excuses
'Cause you know Sultan, I see through your ruses
You'd better know, I hate you so. That fleet had better go.
You told me lies. I hope you fry.




Here Comes the Hun
(To the tune of Here Comes The Sun)

Here come the Huns
Here come the Huns
But I say…it's all right.

Kaiser Wilhelm, it'll be a long, cold, stormy winter.
Kaiser Wilhelm, it'll be two years 'til you get here.
Here come the Huns, here come the Huns
And I say…it's all right.
Kaiser Wilhelm, the Brits will soon take Holland.
Kaiser Wilhelm, watch the French march into Berlin.
Here come the Huns, here come the Huns
And I say…it's all right.

Huns, Huns, Huns, here they come…
Huns, Huns, Huns, here they come…
Huns, Huns, Huns, here they come…
Huns, Huns, Huns, here they come…

Kaiser Wilhelm, you sure acted like a heel.
Kaiser Wilhelm, and now the French are in Kiel.
Here come the Huns, here come the Huns
And I say…it's all right.




Yesterday

Yesterday, all you jackals seemed so far away,
Now it looks as though you're here to stay
Oh I believe in yesterday.
Suddenly, I'm at half the dots I used to be,
There are sharp knives sticking out of me
Oh, bad fortune came suddenly…
Why they had to stab, I don't know, they didn't say.
I said something wrong, now I long for yesterday.
Yesterday, Dip was such a friendly game to play,
Now I need a place to hide away,
Oh, I believe in yesterday…



All original songs by the Beatles.



Eva Vandergeld
(evandergeld@yahoo.com)



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