Somewhere in Texas, a village is missing its idiot. (bumper sticker)

Civil liberties, don’t leave home without them. (bumper sticker)

Black holes are where God divided by zero (Steven Wright, thanks to Robert Lesco’s Northern Flame)

Welcome to Tinamou #49, produced by Dave Partridge, 15 Woodland Drive, Brookline NH, 03033 (email: rebhuhn of rocketmail.com ). Tinamou now appears on the web in conjunction with TAP. The web page has everything you’ll find here including maps. Go to Jim’s index page /Postal/Zines/TAP and check it out, your comments and suggestions are welcome!

TAP Home

Tinamou Home

Boston Harbor (Industrial Waste)	Perdu (Railway Rivals)	Perdix (Railway Rivals)	Fat Bottomed Girls (Breaking Away)
Plutocrats (Outpost)	Carrier Pigeon (Diplomacy)	2001 - A Gaming Odyssey (Diplomacy)	Game Openings
Zero Sum (Industrial Waste Sub-szine)	Map for Carrier Pigeon (Diplomacy)	Three Mile Island (Industrial Waste)

Deadlines:

I’m going to go to two different deadline to allow some of the games to move faster. If anyone would prefer that a game move slower or faster please let me know.

RR, IW, Outpost games, Breaking Away: Monday, March 22

Diplomacy: Monday, April 12

TOP Game Openings:

Gunboat with press: Three signed up so far.

Perestroika Diplomacy: Add an economic twist to the classic game. Centers generate revenue, armies and fleets must be maintained, and treasuries can be sacked! Rules are available on request.

Signed up: Art Schleinkofer, Phil Reynolds, Harold Reynolds, Karl Schmit

Standard Diplomacy: That’s it, the one and only original

Signed up: Fred Wiedermeyer, Hank Alme, Cary Nichols

Just the results please: Don’t really know what to call this one as I just came up with it. Perhaps it’s been tried before. The twist for this variant is that each season only the ending unit positions are published, not the orders. You’ll know who went where, but not who helped whom, or want may have been tried unsuccessfully.

Signed up: Phil Reynolds, Doug Kent

Industrial Waste:

A new game for 3-4 players. Manager your factory and build your products, but beware, increased production means more waste, and if you aren’t careful you’ll find that working in a sludge pit affects your productivity and the bottom line.

Game Start: Three Mile Island Richard Weiss, Andy York, Harold Reynolds, Eric Brosius

Game Opening: Sign up for the next game.

Game Opening – NEW VARIANT – See Zero Sum subszine below

Railway Rivals: Be the first to try out Brendan Whyte’s new Queensland map.

Signed up: Brendan Whyte, Rip Gooch

Outpost:

Snowball fighting: Current game is over. Anyone interested in another go? 2 signed up so far

Golden Strider: It is to running what Breaking Away is to bike riding. See Tom’s szine off-the-shelf at http://www. olympus.net/personal/thowell/o-t-s/index.html for some games in progress.

Signed up: Tom Howell

Sopwith: Be a World War I Ace (or perhaps a pile of smoking rubble). It all depends on what kind of pilot you are. See Phil’s ishkibibble at www.diplom.org/DipPouch/ Postal/Zines/ishkibibble for a game in progress.

Signed up: Brendan Whyte, Robert Dowrey, Karl Schmit

Reader’s Choice: I’m open to anything, just send me the rules and if I think I can run it, I’ll offer it.

TOP Carrier Pigeon (2003E), Standard Diplomacy,

Postal negotiations only

Chris Lockheardt has had to resign. Fittingly I’ve called Doug Kent as the standby. Fittingly as Doug currently is reachable only by postal mail. Now, get off your duffs and write Doug a letter, and while you’re at it, everyone else. I’m hearing way to many complaints about a lack of communication!

Country	Player	Address
Austria	Alexander Woo	2322 Shattuck Ave. #308 Berkeley, CA 94704
England	Robert Dowrey	76 Potter Avenue Orchard Park, NY 14127
France	Ethan Thomas	13 Acushnet Road Mattapoisett, MA 02739
Germany	Hank Alme	506 Paige Loop Los Alamos, NM 87544
Italy	John Power	18 Tilton Court Baltimore, MD 21236
Russia	Chris Lockheardt	54 Butler Ave Maynard, MA 01754 RESIGNED
Russia Standby	Doug Kent
Turkey	Fred Wiedemeyer	Box 92010, Meadowbrook R.P.O. Edmonton, AB T6T 1N1 CANADA

Draw proposal: AER

Defeated

Winter 1902

Country	Centers	Adjustments
Austria	tri, bud, vie, ser, gre, bul	build a vie
England	lon, edi, lvp, nwy, bel, hol	build f lon
France	bre, par, mar, spa, por	even
Germany	kie, ber, mun, den	even
Italy	rom, ven, nap, tun	even
Russia	sev, war, mos, stp, swe, rum	even
Turkey	con, ank, smy, ~~bul~~	remove a syr

Spring 1903

Country	Moves
Austria	a bud – rum, a bul s a bud – rum f gre s a bul, a ser s a bud - rum a gal s a bud – rum, a vie s a gal
England	a edi-liv, f nth s r f swe- den f ska s r f swe-den, f lon-eng f bel h, a hol h
France	f gol-mar, f mao-iri, f eng s a pic a pic s f eng (imp), a gas-bur
Germany	a kie s f den, a ber - mun, a ruh s f a pic – bel (nso), f den h
Italy	f tyn-gol, f ion-tun, a tun-naf a pie-mar
Russia	f swe-den, a lvn-war, a boh-gal a rum s a boh-gal, a ukr s rum f sev s rum
Turkey	f con – aeg, f ank – bla, a smy – con

Summer 1903

Germany: f den retreat (OTB, hel, bal)

Press:

(THE ITALY SPECIALIST): I make all my games boring and long. MWAHAHAHA....

turkey to austria: thanks for the letter. i'll take the other hand option.

turkey to anonymous: you mean there are four people writing? obviously not to me.

turkey to sir gm dave:my old /ancient computer finally died. it's bad enough that i need to buy a new computer, all my e addresses for everybody still need to be retrieved. maybe there is an advantage to the old letter writing and carbons we used to do

turkey to sir gm dave again: i'm actually better get with this writing part again. it's been so long. my handwriting has deteriorated and i've had to ask my 72 year old dad to remind me how to lick the stamps for the envelopes.

Sir Dave to Sultan Fred: Several possible answers suggest themselves, but I’ll refrain.

TOP

TOP Breaking Away: Fat Bottomed Girls

The point race among tightens up as the Front Men pick up 14 points, and Rick and Tom set up to gain a few more. The pellaton is back! Eric is the big winner in the cards, spending a mere 17 to pick up 48.

(FRONT MEN to THE DESPERATE NOTHINGS): You don't get anything for hanging out at the back of a broken pack. Doesn't matter whether you're together or apart.

(BOOB to SPECTATORS): Yeah, here I come, I made a mini-front pack. It doesn't look like anyone has the cards to join us, though.

GM – BOOB: Elaine tried, but looks like she’s out of gas.

(BARONE AND CUTLER HUMPING FOR A PACK): Did they bet right that Greece will play the five low for a pack??

GM – B&C: Oh yeah, but playing a 3 instead of that 6 would have been even better!

(BOOB to BARNO): You mean you're actually IN this game?

If you hadn't noticed, you've not acquired any points yet.

(BOOB SWISHES IN FRONT OF THE GIRLS): I like mine BIG butted, so I guess I like Brendan.

HOMEGROWN EVIL: Since I'm not gonna score second-sprint points anyhow, I decided to get in line and wish for good cards for the final leg. But 71 will be empty and 70 might be, so I'm probably just pulling the train for everyone else's greater benefit. Cr&p; if I were sure I could derail the pellaton by breaking my own draft, I might, just to be obstinate.

GM – HE: Well, if you’d been obstinate and Rove had played a 4 instead of 3, you would have reduced the total card count given out by 52!

George - field: Here I come! (*chair backfires again*) SERENITY NOW! (*backfire*)

Elaine(waving bye to Kramer): I think I see Jerry ahead! I've got to get home with the fish! (*zooms away*)

Jerry(pulling up next to Kramer): Have you seen Elaine?

Kramer - Jerry: Nah. Hey, did you see that ad in the Super Bowl? Talk about ripping off the beefaroni bit! By the way, where's George?

Jerry - Kramer: Who?

FKODCS to HGE: I'm afraid getting mad and quitting would require more mental bandwidth than I seem to have, even if I were the type to get mad!

DANS to Pack: I've only won one of these games out of about five I've played. I've only played on game in which Tom Howell was not an opponent. And yes, there is a correlation. Did you see that Abby go?

At New York's Kennedy Airport today, an individual later discovered to be a public school teacher was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, and a calculator. Attorney General John Ashcroft believes the man is a member of the notorious al-gebra movement. He is being charged with carrying weapons of maths instruction.

Al-gebra is a very fearsome cult, indeed. They desire average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on a tangent in a search of absolute value. They consist of quite shadowy figures, with names like "x" and "y", and, although they are frequently referred to as "unknowns", we know they really belong to a common denominator and are part of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country.

(IN THE LAND OF HOMEGROWN EVIL): On the inquiry into pre-war Iraqi WMD reports, this headline was seen: "Bush Says He Wants Better Intelligence". Believe me, we ALL have that wish for him.

(INTERNATIONAL UNDERSTANDING Dept.:) Business 2.0 reported this in its article on "The 101 Dumbest Moments in Business":

"In Canada, General Motors is forced to come up with a new name for its Buick LaCrosse sedan after discovering that crosse is a slang term for masturbation in Quebec. "

The article's headline for this item was:"Just to be on the safe side, let's also lose the jack, the fuel pump, and the four-stroke engine."

:Black Bottomed Girls (Brendan Whyte) 5 points

Homegrown Evil (Mike Barno) 0 points

Thin Bottomed Girls (Tom Howell) 21 points

Manager: Edith

The Four Kingdoms of Daniel Chapter Seven (Eric Brosius) 5 points

The Front Men (Jim Burgess) 15 points

Manager: Ian Curtis

The Team About Nothing (Rick Desper) 22 points

Manager: Frank Costanza

Square		Riders	Card
89	abigail			3
88
87
86
85	dagmar(5)			3
84
83	langford(8)			3
82	singh(6)			4
81
	----second sprint finish line -----
80
79	elaine			3
78	camilla			4
77
76
75
74
72
72
71
70	bo dacious			3
69	cheney, barbarella			4
68	rove			6
67	bertha, ashcroft, bobbette, persia			7
66	babylon, rumsfeld			11
65	jerry, cutler, kramer, rome			13
64	greece			17
63	barone, babette			18
62
61
60
59.
58	george

TOP 2001 A Gaming ODYSSEY

Orphaned from Deny Everything
HELD OVER

I am continuing to hold this game over as Mike seems to have dropped out of communications. The intent is to continue with the current players and not new standbys so we’ll keep on trying.

TOP

Zero Sum II

Editor: Richard Weiss

Contact Information: 916.743.2114 Cell

Diplomat@higherquality.com

A Sub-sub-subzine to Stealth West with due genuflections to the Toad Father.

Mission Statement: Enjoyment of the Game Industrial Waste, by Jurgen Strohm and distributed by Rio Grande Games

Current Game(s): Love Canal

Game Opening for new trading variant – Not In My Neighborhood
Industrial Waste: The Trading Variant

A. Game played by email, published in Tinamou and TAP.

B. One week from time card sets emailed out to make selection

One week from time card set selection (Turn X.1) emailed out for both parties to

notify me of a trade of goods that matches in detail

One week from time trading time is final and results emailed out for order of play

of cards to be submitted.

Can trade pretty much anything within the game: set selection order in a turn, set

selection order in a future turn, money, debt, cards, workers, raw materials,

waste to dispose of, future cards selected (the next "waste disposal card I

select"). Can't trade victory points, innovations that have already happened, or

growth already played (but can trade a growth card).

I always loved Dune for trading, and the only fun part of Civilization is trading. This could be wacky, probably more fun FTF, but potentially interesting and everything changes in value and values vary by the individual. We need some wacky wheeler-dealers to join up.

My bet from a year ago that John Edwards would be on the ticket, and likely the Presidential part of the ticket, is still not looking bad. I am surprised by Kerry. He has never been as articulate as he has recently, other than after Nam and I did not think a Democrat from MA would be electable. I live in AZ now, but have had few political discussions. I do not know the true pulse around here.

Has anyone considered that until very recently that the Senior Senator from California, with a lot of support of and from the powerful groups that define the Democratic Party and the Middle Ground, would be a strong candidate for the VP? I attribute both the assumption that CA will vote against Bush and the fact that that Senior Senator is not a male WASP has a lot to do with not hearing Feinstein’s name mentioned. Personally, she was a terrible mayor.

Cross szine conversation with the Toady himself, I will take your side on the other-than-NC team winning the NCAAs. I want to congratulate Stanford for consistently putting together teams of student athletes who perform at the highest of sport levels. Besides the major sports, their undefeated basketball team, they win the overall national championship for all NCAA sports most years. Brains-Brawn-Beauty all go together, chromosomally linked.

Many nights I don’t get home until bed time. I am aware that this time, I have slowed the game. Sorry.

Love Canal (Industrial Waste) Turn 10 Segment 2 (Or, Ooops, another Disaster while dealing)

DUMBASS Harold Reynolds

Takes Set 3: Advisor, Bribery, Waste Disposal

Also holds the Waste Removal card

1) Plays Waste Disposal to further reduce my inventory. [Waste to dispose of goes from 6 >> 3 – all of a sudden less bright]

2) I shall hand out free samples to the other players with Waste Removal. 8-) [Waste to dispose of goes from 3 >> 2, and each other person’s rises by one]

3) And finally I shall use the Advisor and some of my suddenly large stock of cash to pay off a loan. That should help increase my VPs to a more competitive level. [Money from $31M >> $21 M with the expenditure of $10 M with the advisor. Loan total from $20M to $10M. His yacht is now released from lienhood] [[I believe a swing of 5 VP is the most that can be achieved in one move. Spend $10M reduces VP by 5, but paying off a loan gains 10 VP for a swing of 5. Along the same vein, to innovate from 5 to 1 in a given area requires the expenditure of $20M which results in a loss of 10VP and changes the VPs from 1 >> 15, a gain of 14 for a net of 4. If one only innovated from 5 to 2, then the cost would be $15M and the gain in VP would be from 1 >> 10. The net swing is arguably +9 – 7 for only a gain of 2. If one had kept the $15M one would have more VP than innovating anywhere up to anything but the maximum. Chris and Dave have already innovated in all three areas, so strategically one would guess that they assumed the game would go long enough so that they would totally innovate in all areas. Eric, who I lost to in another game, and Harold, have not innovated in each of the three areas, possibly a tactical decision and possibly a strategic decision. … To further complicate strategy and tactics, Rationalization innovation also returns a dividend of money, and therefore VPs. Waste reduction might or might not return a yield by not having to pay the cost of an accident and also freeing one to choose some sets preferentially over those that contain waste disposal. Innovating raw materials allows one to sell more orders out of the same number of raw materials or purchase less, but produce more brighto.]]

4) Holds the Bribery card. If I could offer it for trade, I would. 8-) [[I continue to think I should offer a variant of Industrial Waste that allows trading, including card set selection order, etc. MLB Winter Meetings Industrial Waste Variant. Who is the current Boardman Number Custodian – Lee Kendter, Jr? The Texas Sheriff? Someone I never heard of? How many of you don’t even know what the Boardman Number Custodian is? If this sub-zine to Stealth West is still being printed in the Toadies szine, maybe he should offer a prize to anyone who has been playing Dip less than ten years to "Find" and receive letters from both the current Boardman Number Custodian and the original boardman number custodian or the one who came up with the title!!! That’s a challenge Boob-Jim-Bob! If this were a morning radio show and this were a contest, I bet we’d get some outrageous guesses! Here on WS(A)Z – the Dull Arrow Point Edge! And there is another morning radio show contest question – provide the names of as many national radio chains as possible.]]

5) Harold pays $5M end of turn labor costs. Money from $21M >> $16M]

6) Disaster card scorned and no ill effect.

Chemicals ‘R US Chris Hassler

Takes set 5: Advisor, Innovation, Waste Disposal

Also holds an Order card.
1) Plays the Waste Disposal with the Advisor. (reduces Waste from 9 >> 3)

2) Plays the Order (Sells 4 Raw Materials so from 9 >> 5, Makes $16M so money from $1M >> $17M; waste to dispose from 3 >> 7).

3) Plays the Innovation, reducing Waste Disposal to 3/6 and reducing Money from $17M >> $12M).

Bids 6 for David’s 3 Raw Materials and buys them. Money goes down from $12M > $6M, RM up from 5 >>9]

End of turn labor costs –2 so Money from $6M >> $4M

Disaster card without effect.

GRREAT Dave Partridge

CEO: Tony Tiger.

Takes Set 1: Order, Raw Materials, Hiring/Firing

Also holds innovation.

"Gotto get some dough."

A) Sell the Order [Money up $17M to $18M, creates two waste]

B) Innovate my waste Reduction [Money down 5M from $18>13, waste reduction to 1, with increase in VP to 15 for this category]

C) Sell the RM. [Eric passes. Harold passes. Chris bids Six. Dave sells the 3RM. Money up to $19M, RM down to 5]

D) Hold the hiring/firing

End of turn labor costs reduce money from $19M >> $15M]

Disaster card takes Dave from 38 VP to 31. Money goes from $15M >> $5M. Growth retards from 17 >> 15. Ouch.]

DeOxyRoxy Eric Brosius

Takes Set 4: Advisor, Innovation, Growth

Also holds Advisor.

1) Plays Growth + Advisor (Raises Factory by 2 to 18.

2) Plays Innovation, (Costs $5M, Money from 10M >> 5M; reduces Waste production from 2 >> 1, VP up from 10 >> 15)

3) Keeps the other Advisor.

End of turn labor costs reduce money from $5M to Zero.

Disaster card – we don’t need no stinkin’ disaster cards.

CARDS HELD

Harold – Bribery

Chris – None

Dave – Hiring/Firing

Eric –Advisor

CARDS DEALT for Turn 11 (Selection Order is Dave, Eric, Harold, Chris)

Set 1: Order, Innovation, Growth

Set 2: Waste Disposal, Innovation, Hiring/Firing

Set 3: Waste Disposal, Waste Removal, Hiring/Firing

Set 4: Raw Materials, Waste Disposal, Order

Set 5: Raw Materials, Waste Removal, Hiring/Firing

CARDS DISCARDED DURING DEALING

Waste Disposal, Disaster, 2 orders, Raw Material

DISCARD PILE: 3Advisor, 2WD, WR, 3Innovation, 2Order, RM, Growth; but all cards to be reshuffled.

Love Canal (Industrial Waste) Turn 11 Segment 1

Chemicals ‘R US >> Grrreat >> DeOxyRoxy >> DUMBASS >>

DUMBASS Harold Reynolds

Takes Set 2: Waste Disposal, Innovation, Hiring/Firing

Also holds a bribery card.

Chemicals ‘R US Chris Hassler

Takes set 5: Waste Disposal, Waste Removal, Hiring/Firing

GRREAT Dave Partridge

CEO: Tony Tiger.

Takes Set 4: Raw Materials, Waste Disposal, Order

Also holds Hiring/Firing

Black Pudding Bertha

Big bad Bobbette

Bo Dacious Derek

Barbarella Eden