I’ve never been one to enjoy business travel much, but every so often I’ve got to do it, and last week was one of those times. The first time I flew after 9/11 I had a bit of trouble because I couldn’t understand the security guard’s accent and it just never occurred to me that he’d be asking me to take off my shoes, so I kept saying "What?" and he kept getting more agitated. I pitied the poor woman behind me who had 8 pairs of shoes in her carry on! This time it wasn’t a surprise to be asked to take them off, but I did find that there is definitely variation in the degree of sensitivity of the machinery. On my flight out I strolled right through the metal detector. On my flight back I had to remove my belt, wallet, and in the end the one dime that was lost down in my pocket. Even with that, it didn’t take more than 15 minutes from the time I joined the line until I was through. Good thing I brought a book with me since I showed up the recommended hour early!

Gunboat with press: Two signed up so far.

Perestroika Diplomacy: Add an economic twist to the classic game. Centers generate revenue, armies and fleets must be maintained, and treasuries can be sacked! Rules are available on request.

Signed up: Art Schleinkofer, Phil Reynolds, Harold Reynolds, Karl Schmit

Standard Diplomacy: That’s it, the one and only original

Signed up: Fred Wiedermeyer, Hank Alme

Just the results please: Don’t really know what to call this one as I just came up with it. Perhaps it’s been tried before. The twist for this variant is that each season only the ending unit positions are published, not the orders. You’ll know who went where, but not who helped whom, or want may have been tried unsuccessfully.

Signed up: Phil Reynolds

A new game for 3-4 players. Manager your factory and build your products, but beware, increased production means more waste, and if you aren’t careful you’ll find that working in a sludge pit affects your productivity and the bottom line.

Game Opening: Eric Brosius

Railway Rivals: Be the first to try out Brendan Whyte’s new Queensland map.

Signed up: Brendan Whyte, Rip Gooch, Brad Martin

Outpost:

Sign up for the next game to start when the current one finishes.

Snowball fighting: Current game is over. Anyone interested in another go? Have one.

Signed up: Tom Howell

Signed up: Brendan Whyte, Robert Dowrey, Phil Reynolds, Brad Martin, Karl Schmit

Reader’s Choice: I’m open to anything, just send me the rules and if I think I can run it, I’ll offer it.

Tinamou appears in every other TAP. The game deadlines are always the Monday before the appropriate TAP deadline, which is always a Saturday. Assuming that TAP remains on schedule, the next deadline will be Monday Sept 2.

For those who are new to playing Diplomacy in Tinamou, I have no special house rules. I don’t care what abbreviations you use, I’ll use my own in my report, and as long as your orders are clear and unambiguous, that’s fine with me. If in doubt, simply write out the whole province name. My normal procedure is to combine Summer retreats and Fall moves into one turn, and Winter retreats, Winter adjustments and Spring moves into another. I will separate seasons upon request of half (round down) the powers still having centers or units on the board.

Map notation notes: BOLD denotes the ending position of the unit. Moves that fail are underlined. Units that must retreat are in italics. Newly acquired centers are in bold. Lost centers are in strikethrough.

If you notice an error in the report or the map please let me know immediately so that I can send out a correction. If a mistake is not noticed before the next turn is adjudicated, then it will stand. I accept orders postally or by email. I will acknowledge all email orders. If I don’t have your orders as the deadline approaches I will usually try to track you down and get them, but you can’t count on that, I don’t always have the time.

There are no sub or game fees for Tinamou. If you want a hard copy, you must subscribe to TAP. Both TAP and Tinamou are available on the web and you are not required to have a postal subscription to play.

For not having any houserules, that took me a while, didn’t it?

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Don never does anything halfway, and his style of Gming takes a LOT of time, which he just doesn’t have at the moment. But this has been a great game and it would be a shame to let it fade away, so I will do my humble best to live up to Don’s standards. Please continue to inundate the GM with press, after all, I only have to type it in, Jim’s paying the postage!

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Eng - Italy: How ASA is P?

Eng - <Smiley face>: What an interesting coat of arms the royal family has chosen...

Kingdoms-Field: We're so worn out from last time we need to coast a bit in the mountains here.

(HOMEGROWN EVIL STAT SERVICE): These are derived from US Census Bureau data (raw numbers in millions):

• Proportion of US actual voters who chose their President (50/110): 45%
• Proportion of US registered voters who chose their President (50/129): 38%
• Proportion of US adults who chose their President (50/202): 24%
• Proportion of US population who chose their President (50/290): 17%

BBG-whoever cares: Bo Dacious Derek is playing 4 this round, cos she's got that sort of stamina, the little hottie!

Barbarella Eden purrs, because she's got a Persian pussy behind her, and a big ail in front!

Black Pudding Bertha and Big Bad Bobette play a menage of trois, because it's unladylike to sprint to a climactic finish. Better to lay back and let it build up slowly, and enjoy the long hard wild ride. And what a ride it has been! Both girls are panting hard at this point, and looking forward to coming closer to the lead once more. Bobette passes Bertha, and Bertha passes Bobette. Will these girls ever stop making passes? Only the next round will tell...

George jumps up and down on his electric chair, and it lurches forward slightly.

George: Aha!

Jerry -> George: What are you doing next to me?

Frank -> George: Why'd you stop? You let Abigail get away!

BOOB to BABETTE: Good girl, slotted in at 40 for NO points just where you belonged. Now, everybody play those 5's you replenished and give me MUCHO points.

FRONT MEN to GM: Hey, guy, we know when to hold 'em and when to fold 'em. I didn't want to be shut out on the first sprint line, but I've got me a plan. We'll be at the front shortly.

Babylon-Boob: There's madness to your method, for sure.

BOOB to PELATON: And take that!!! Reform for me and give my riders the cards they deserve, I command you.

BOOB to GM: They're falling into my trap.

BOOB to HOWELL: Except for you, who always have the drop on me.

GM – BOOB: How prophetic! It does look like those thin-bottomed girls have been reading your playbook! They just out-muchoed your MUCHO.

FRENCH FOREVER: Freedom ain't all it's cracked up to be.

GM: No, but it beats the alternatives. And the price of freedom is eternal vigilance, against foes foreign AND DOMESTIC.

George -> Frank: What kind of name is Abigail? Sounds like Abigail Adams.

Kramer -> George, Jerry: Jerry! George! Where are you?

Elaine -> Kramer: We've got to finish soon. What about my poor fish? (Shows plastic bag with goldfish.) Where are those other two?

MIKE to DAVE: Thank you for the Roosevelt masthead quote in particular, and for "calling them 'freedom' now" and "trim my rose moron."

MIKE to JIM: You have a plan? Swell. I have one of David Anderson's United theories that I will trade you for it. Both algorithms have the same value: about the same as trading two points of Triple-S Blue Stamps for two points of S&H Green Stamps.

MIKE to PRESS READERS: I don't have to be very creative to come up with outlandish press about our national leaders, elected and otherwise. All I have to do is read media not controlled by the gigabuck corporation bosses who also control much of the government, highlight the ironies, contrast against the Constitution now and then, and occasionally throw in a fillip like Canadian weapon "Curling-Stone unmanned drones."

ATTORNEY GENERAL ASHCROFT to SENATOR ORRIN HATCH, Senate Judiciary Committee chairman: You said during a committee hearing June 17 that you favor developing new technology to remotely destroy the computers of people who illegally download music from the Internet. Under the USA-PATRIOT Act, destruction of a computer system is considered an act of terrorism. Your comments mean you are now supporting terrorist action. I am therefore placing you under National Security detainment without rights. You will be interned in our Guantanamo Bay facilities for the duration of the emergency.

Black Bottomed Girls (Brendan Whyte) 5 points

Homegrown Evil (Mike Barno) 0 points

Thin Bottomed Girls (Tom Howell) 6 points

Manager: Edith

The Front Men (Jim Burgess) 1 point

Manager: Ian Curtis

For those who are interested, the maps can be seen on the web. They don’t reproduce well here unfortunately as there is a lot of detail and it really needs color to differentiate the different rail lines. Towns in uppercase denote the first player to connect the town (6 point bonus).

TURN is Transcontinental Urbanising Rail Network ARAB is American Railway Agglomeration of Baghdad

HUBRIS is Have U Been Railroading In Snow? SPIKE is Special Purpose Industrial Kartage Enterprise COB is Cambria or Bust

HUBRIS: Hey, check it out, I built to Madison for MadCon! Everybody on the Gaming Train! Full MadCon spirit... good thing the monkey is driving.

HUBRIS: Fortunately this game does not have Snow event cards. Thank you, Eric! Because I'm building the GN or NP. The two railroads further west are both likely to use Arizona routes, so I need to pioneer the Northwest or maybe the Denver "Y" route (splitting northwest and southwest).

GM: Come on now, you don't really expect Conrad to be that predictable, do you?

5) Baltimore (5) - Oswego (10): HUBRIS (13) 20 +7 = 27, SPIKE (16) 10 -7 [HUBRIS] = 3

6) Gainesville (12) - Oswego (10) HUBRIS/ARAB (30) 10 -3 [SPIKE] : HUBRIS 5 + 7 - 1 = 11, ARAB 5 + 4 - 2 = 7
                                                  SPIKE (29) 20 - 4 [ARAB] - 7 [HUBRIS] + 3 = 12

7) Dinwiddie (11) - Baltimore (4): SPIKE (5) 20

8) Cleveland (13) - Richmond (8): HUBRIS (9) 20 - 3 [SPIKE] = 17, SPIKE (8) 10 + 3 = 13

9) Charlotte (9) - Al Quodo d'Utopia (2): ARAB (5) 20 + 3 = 23, SPIKE (6) 10 - 3 [ARAB] - 1 [COB] = 6 , COB + 1 = 1

10) Wilmington (6) - Baltimore (5): HUBRIS (2) 20

11) Al Quodo d'Utopia (1) - Richmond, VA (8) 12) Gainesville, FL (12) - Wilmington, DE (6)

13) Baltimore (4) - Al Quodo d'Utopia (2) 14) East Cambria (3) - Cleveland, OH (13)

15) Oswego, NY (10) - Columbia, SC (18)

An eventful turn. We have 5 new cities created during the races, four of them generated by SPIKE. Lot's of shared track as COB drives up the east coast, only to find that ARAB had the same idea first and in fact heads north from Philadelphia, thinking perhaps to be the first to open the North East. HUBRIS starts a line to the North East himself as an afterthought after heading west and finds himself running along side SPIKE who beats them all to Providence. TURN nears the west coast but pauses to start a north-south line before bucking the last couple of mountain chains. Looks like the head start from these early races will be hard to erase, although COBs going to try and jump in. TURN keeps on with his focus on the west coast and is obviously hoping he’ll make it all up with some long distance racing.

TURN is Transcontinental Urbanising Rail Network ARAB is American Railway Agglomeration of Baghdad

HUBRIS is Have U Been Railroading In Snow? SPIKE is Special Purpose Industrial Kartage Enterprise COB is Cambria or Bust

11) Al Quodo d'Utopia (1) - Richmond, VA (8)
ARAB (11) 20 +1 = 21, SPIKE (11) [1 - ARAB] 10 –1 = 9

12) Gainesville, FL (12) - Wilmington, DE (6)
SPIKE (19) [4 - ARAB], [2 - HUBRIS] 20 –6 +3 = 17
ARAB (19 )[3 - SPIKE] [2 - HUBRIS] 10 –3 –2 +4 = 9
HUBRIS +2 +2 = 4

13) Baltimore (4) - Al Quodo d'Utopia (2)
ARAB (14)[3-SPIKE] 20 –3 +1 = 18
SPIKE(14)[1-ARAB] 10 +3 –1 = 12

14) East Cambria (3) - Cleveland, OH (13)
ARAB(14 +2M)[4-HUBRIS] 20–4 = 16
SPIKE(17 +1M)[1-COB] 10–1= 9
HUBRIS +4 = 4
COB +1 = 1

15) Oswego, NY (10) - Columbia, SC (18)
ARAB/HUBRIS HUBRIS declines
SPIKE/HUBRIS 20, SPIKE 10, HUBRIS 10

16) Bingham, ME (15) - Oswego, NY (10)
17) Big Stone Gap, VA (17) - Al Quodo d'Utopia (1)
18) East Cambria (3) - Richmond, VA (8)
19) West Palm Beach, FL (20) - Baltimore (4)
20) Winchester, VA (7) - Charlotte, NC (9)

SPIKE - Rivals: This game offers the option to seek a quick payoff and the option to invest for the future. It's nice to see that both are being pursued. Mike is doing the best job of getting a little of both.

COB: Whee. Now maybe I can enter a race.

SPIKE - HUBRIS: Here's a gamble. I could pay you substantial parallels this round, but I'm hoping you build north from Philly rather than east from Oswego. My line parallels the Erie Canal.

SPIKE - GM: No towns created during the races as a result of double "1"s so far, but it's only a matter of time! I'm having fun playing this game.

GM - SPIKE: And that time has come. In spades! Good to hear you're enjoying it!

TURN: Someone trying to out-guess us? Can't be done. I have NO strategy ... :o)

HUBRIS: Okay, I purchase the Boston & Maine RR for $4,000.

HUBRIS to GM: No, you're right; expecting Conrad to be predictable is like expecting ME to conform to conventional ways.

HUBRIS to DICE GODS: Five races and I can run none of them solo and only one feasible joint run. Sigh.

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The dice favor the underdog this time as UDR beats HANG in race 3 and HANG edges out SBB in race 7. TRAIN is going quietly bankrupt and SPICEBLOW widens his already considerable lead.

Races for round 7

1. Bol (14) - Faya Largeau (25) : SPICEBLOW (25) [6-SBB] 20 - 6 = 14, SBB + 6 = 6

2. Feda (26) - Ati (32): UDR (23) 20 = 20

3. Oum Hadjer (33) - Am Timan (41): UDR (14) 20 + 3 = 23, HANG (13) [3-UDR] 10 – 3 = 7

4. Maro (43) - Doba (52): SPICEBLOW (9) 20 + 5 = 25, UDR (9) [5-SPICEBLOW] 10 – 5 = 5

5. Gore (53) - Ouri (64): SBB (50) 20 = 20

6. Zouar (63) - Niger (x6): Held Over

7. CAR (x3) - N'Djamena (13) SPICEBLOW (17) 20 + 1 = 21, HANG (24) 10 = 10, TRAIN +1 = 1, SBB (21)[1-TRAIN][1- SPICEBLOW] 0 –2 = -2 ,

SBB (15): (K48) - Moundou; (V31) - - Oum Hadjer; (H36) - - H34 [1-HANG][1-SPICEBLOW]; (V15) - - - - - - - - N11 - - N9 [1-TRAIN]

UDR (15): W19 - Faya Largeau - - - - - - C65 - Ounianga Kebir; Faya Largeau - - - - - - - P14 [1-TRAIN][1-SBB]

HANG (15): (X31) - - X29 - - - - Arada [1-SBB]; (K43) - - - H41 - - --- - H37 [1-SPICEBLOW][1-SBB]

TRAIN (15): (T29) - - - - - Y32 - Z31 - - B82 [1-SBB][2-HANG][1-UDR]; (R28) - Q28; (Moussoro) --- K32 - - - Mao

SPICEBLOW: No Builds

Justus Jansen SBB (red) 49 + 24 - 15 -3 +3 = 58

Hank Alme UDR (green) 57 + 48 - 15 -2 +1 = 91

Mike Barno SPICEBLOW (purple) 87 + 60 +2 = 149

Eric Brosius HANG (blue) 51 + 17 - 15 +3 -3= 53

Conrad von Metzke TRAIN (orange) 28 + 1 - 15 +2 - 4 = 12

SPICEBLOW: I think I'm done building, so you guys will have to catch me by winning more races. I'm only entering three races this turn so you're probably getting a start on closing the margin.

GM: Three's as good as anyone did, you'll have to do better than that to let them catch up!

6. Zouar (63) - Niger (x6) (held over)

8: N'Djamena (11) - Salal (31)

9: N'Djamena (12) - Bousso (26)

10: Abeche (22) - Cameroon (X5)

11: Koro Toro (24) - Barda (62)

12: Monge (34) - Balbokoum (54)

13: Kyabe (42) - Ounianga Kebir1 (66)

14: Pala (55) - Libya (X1)