Gunboat: Either with or without press, players preference. One signed up so far.

Perestroika Diplomacy: Add an economic twist to the classic game. Centers generate revenue, armies and fleets must be maintained, and treasuries can be sacked! Rules are available on request.

Signed up: Art Schleinkofer, Phil Reynolds, Harold Reynolds

Standard Diplomacy: Nothing new, nothing novel. The only twist to this game is that I strongly encourage players without email to join up. The long deadlines make it easier to get those negotiations in. That is not to say that I do not want people with email joining, but please do not do so unless you are prepared to negotiate fully with those people who don’t have email and rely on the Postal Service.

Signed up: Phil Reynolds, Chris Lockheardt, Bob Dowrey, Hank Alme, John Powers

Just the results please: Don’t really know what to call this one as I just came up with it. Perhaps it’s been tried before. The twist for this variant is that each season only the ending unit positions are published, not the orders. You’ll know who went where, but not who helped whom, or want may have been tried unsuccessfully.

Signed up: Phil Reynolds

Industrial Waste: A new game for 3-4 players. Manager your factory and build your products, but beware, increased production means more waste, and if you aren’t careful you’ll find that working in a sludge pit affects your productivity and the bottom line. The first game is underway, I’ll take signups for a second if anyone is interested.

Railway Rivals: I’m going to open a second game running Eric Brosius’s Transcontinental USA map with his variant rules (cities appear on the map as the game progresses rather than being predetermined). The map is available on the web site. Anyone who wants to play and needs a paper copy let me know.

Signed up: Eric Brosius, Conrad von Metzke, Mike Barno, Brendan Whyte. Need one or two more.

Also available, Brendan Whyte’s new Queensland map. Be one of the first to try it out! See it soon on the web site.

Signed up: Brendan Whyte

Outpost: I’ll start taking names now for another game to start when the current one ends or is on its last legs.

Signed up: Eric Brosius

Top

And we have a huge pileup. True to their name, the Front Runners lead the pack. Three teams start with the old 1-2-3-4 and it pays off big, netting them a total replacement card count of 51! Homegrown Evil seems to have gotten it’s handle bars enmeshed as it surges forward in a solid block, causing a big traffic jam, resulting in half of the riders (and all of HE) replenishing with a lowly 3!

(IAN CURTIS SPEAKS FROM THE GRAVE): One of the best things about being dead is that you never get tired.... the 24 Hour Party REALLY works!!! Those video screens to watch my movie on the cycles works perfectly. Go guys, go! PARTY!!!!

Jerry -> field: we can't start the race until somebody finds Mr. Belavacqua to fire the starter's pistol! (car backfires) Well, I'm off!

Elaine -> Mark Cutler: Who are you? Are you spongeworthy?

Frank -> GM: don't you think it will be confusing to have a Babbette and a Bobette in the same race?

GM – Frank: I don’t know if I’m confused, but if any of them start brandishing sharp shiny objects, I’d be scared if I were you!

Kramer -> field: Giddyup!

George -> GM: Given the infirmities of my condition, I've traded in the usual bicycle for a motorized chair. It may take a while to get up to a good speed.

GM – Gerry: I’m sure that given your proclivity for causes it’s a solar powered chair so it won’t pollute. Didn’t anyone tell you Boston is almost as cloudy as Seattle?

Jerry -> field: thanks for showing up! Don't you think it's odd that one of the teams is made up of entire countries? Well, I guess they'll be easy to draft. But really, who wants to draft Greece?

GM – Jerry: Given some of the alternatives, that might not be too bad a place to be.

Frank -> GM: How come my riders are the only ones who need underscores between their first and last names on the website?

GM -> Frank: Because Kramer hacked the web site?

Frank -> George: (bops on forehead) Get moving! The race has started! If Lloyd Braun were here, he'd already be at the first sprint line!

George (mumbles): Lloyd Braun, Lloyd Braun.

Frank -> Newman: We need a chase vehicle. Power up the mail truck!

Edith - BBG: Say! Who's managing all those wobbly bits over there?

Tom-Brendan: Oh, yeah! Black Bottom. Haven't played that since ... Junior High School. Heh! Well, at least the long term memory still seems to be working.

Edith to Ab: They're expecting you to draft early, so why don't you lead our little group on the start?

Tom-All: Ok, I've given away all my secrets. (Well, I've left the spreadsheet layout as an exercise for the student...) So, I expect you all to be as competitive as these rail-tushed gals of mine. I'm playing this one straight. Not ganging up on Brendan, nor anyone else. Hope you all will do the same.

Oh yeah, ... look out for Edith. She'll seduce anyone, even Dick, if she thinks it'll give her team an advantage.

GM – Tom: Well, two of them seem to have taken your advice. Nice cards!

BOB MARLEY to FOUR KINGDOMS OF DANIEL 7: We don' need no misconfused history from the Old Books... we got Babylon right here, wit' its rulers on Brother Barno's team. Their Tower of Babel collapsed a year ago and no man under the sun has seen aught but madness ever since. I and I be free; but those crazy baldheads talk of freedom wit' grand words while denying it to de people allwhere, one blood, all skin colors, One Love.

WASHINGTON, DC: (Bush) "Alright, let's get this team conference started. The first order of business is to select the on-track captain, since I won't be out there to share the blessings of my leadershipism. Who wants to chair the search committee? You've got it, Dick. What do you think?"

(Cheney) "I've already got a short list ready. Let me vet the prospects." (goes behind a tree for a few moments) "Okay, I've evaluated the candidates and selected the one who would make the best captain."

(Bush) "Okay, my poppy trusted your judgment so I'm sure your pick is best. Who is he?"

(Cheney) "Richard Cheney."

(Bush) "You? If you say so. Let's move along. Next is team policy for this race. A lot of my best contributors, er, supporters liked my faith-based social services proposal, so let's see if we can expand the idea to other areas. Who has some ideas?

(Rumsfeld) "I'll have our defense-industry friends build us a faith-based anti-missile shield."

(Bush) "Good, that'll protect us from the terrorists. What else? John?"

(Ashcroft) "I'll take charge of faith-based civil rights protection. First we'll round up all the Mohammedans...."

(Powell) "That's 'Muslims' or at least 'Moslems'. And we can't do that, it's illegal."

(Ashcroft) "Hush, boy, don't tell ME what's illegal. Laws don't count during wartime; why do you think we declared an open-ended war everywhere?"

(Powell) "Only Congress can declare war, but that's not stopping you. Anyway, I don't think that's what the boss meant. The closest we can get away with is keeping all the detainees in secret so the public will base their protection on faith instead of public oversight."

(Bush) "Too much talk-talk about picky details. Move on. You other guys got ideas?"

(Cheney) "I'm in charge of faith-based environmental protection."

(Rove) "I'll take faith-based election reform."

(Ridge) "Put me on faith-based disaster preparedness."

(Pitt) "Sign me up for faith-based securities oversight."

(Bush) "All right, we've got a team! Go win this bike race for America!"

HOMEGROWN EVIL to THE FRONT MEN: So... for whom are you the front men? Does that mean you'll wind up taking the fall for Mr. Big? Are you being set up to play the stooge, be a patsy? Maybe you should go on the lam instead. It might be healthier for you not to ride this race.

MIKE to RICK: Does "the Team About Nothing" include your scoring?

Edith to Ab: Dead last???!!! You throw your chain, gal?

Black Bottomed Girls (Brendan Whyte)

Homegrown Evil (Mike Barno)

Thin Bottomed Girls (Tom Howell) Manager: Edith

The Four Kingdoms of Daniel Chapter Seven (Eric Brosius)

The Front Men (Jim Burgess) Manager: Ian Curtis

The Team About Nothing (Rick Desper) Manager: Frank Costanza