News? Well, not a lot of it. Dave’s given up sleep again (makes it easier to crank this out on time, no sense in going to be anyway). Kathryn is now almost 2 months old and doing well. Mom and Dad are frazzled by happy. And that’s about all there’s been time for, which is plenty!

Tinamou appears in every other TAP. The game deadlines are always the Monday before the appropriate TAP deadline, which is always a Saturday. See TAP for the dates.

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And another nation falls before the Russian onslaught. Thanks to Bruce for playing out the English. Russia swaps centers in the English Isles, but eliminates the English in doing so. In the interest of fairness, Germany gets an English center so everyone can have one, and Russia completes his conquest of the Balkans.

A very interesting battle shaping up here. Russia is up to 16, close to that brass ring, but there are openings in the lines on both sides, should be interesting.

The second column (to the left of the rider’s name) contains the card played this round. New cards received are in bold.

(16) The Goz Transportation Co. (Warren Goesle: 3907 Cedar Ridge, #1B, Indianapolis, IN 46235 gozcorp@iquest.com)

Team Manager: Gerald Ford

Coached by Triumph, the Insult Comic Dog

(1) The Warm Fuzzies ( Sara Reichert, 20805 Margaret St., Carson, CA 90745-1224)

Team Leader: Sweet Sara

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Woolworth II-D: Who’s Your Buddy?

Scandinavia returns home. England and the Turks leave us. Russia rampages through Germany, but despite a brief occupation by Russia and an invitation to the French to enter, Munich remains German. Germany returns the favor by invading Russian held Galacia.

Ger: f nth - ska

Rus: a sil – war

Winter 1906 Retreats

Ger:

a pie annihilated

a ber – sil, otb

Tur:

f con – bla, mac, aeg, otb

a bul – mac, otb

Winter 1906 adjustments:

* germany builds one due to annihilation. If he retreats off the board he plays one short

Babble from the board:

Norse to Krauts---Dang! I kill der Angloes and now when I try to reclaim my homeland guess who is dere? Der dirty double crossin Rooskies. Now your enemy be my enemy so we be friends, JA?

Berlin - Europe: Y'know, everyone always wants to fight their battles in Germany. To that I say, welcome! Free beer for all survivors! And those busty Aryan girls in their St. Pauli outfits.

Spain to France---Your play sets a fine example. I too shall give what aid I can to Germany. If your fleet could find its' way to MAO to bolster my line, perhaps we could hold back Atilla and his lackey.

GM – Spain: Wasn’t Attilla a Hun? I thought you were supporting them?

Germany - France: Time for holding the line is over. Come on in. See my support.

GM – Germany: Well, he didn’t come in, but Russia moved out. Is that okay with you?

Spain to Germany---Well if France can cut you some slack, so can I. After all, I can't let it be said that the French are more polite than the Spanish. If ever you are in the proper position, I will support you to the centers. You need builds to replace your losses.

Germany - Spain: What? Somebody's supporting me? Ooh, I can hardly contain myself!

Spain to Vikings---Tell us, O great gasbag, how you plan to stop your eastern brother. I suggest you stop sailing in circles and at least help the Germans.

Norse to Spangloes---I tole you. I tole you. Dem Romans makin tough time in Med pond. Go home. I handle cold wastes again.

Berlin - Rome: I can't seem to get out of Italy. Maybe you can convince your Iberian ally to give me a lift?

GM – Berlin: Well, he seems to have solved that particular problem for you.

Germany - Russia: Here's a tip: no more Austrians in Germany. We czeched. We hear they're in Italy now...

Germany - France: Yeah, he won't cross the Rhine...if he can win before that.

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Lots of actions as the snowballs fly fast and furious. Close combat is the rule of the day, except for the Abominable Snow Boob who stays aloof and lobs in his contributions. They don't add much to the melee as they are all well wide of the mark, but on the other hand, he doesn't take any damage either.

BOOB TO USELESS GM: I thought this was supposed to be a test game with new rules to limit the strength of dirigibles, BUT we talked about all sorts of things, what are we actually playing with???

GM TO USELESS BOOB: Can’t read your email eh? Okay, for those who were asleep for the opening day here we go again. For the current snowball game, the base hit probability of dirigibles has been reduced from 55 to 45 percent, and dirigibles that hit from farther than 3 hexes will only do 2 points of damage.

OBSERVER TO OTHER OBSERVERS: Come on, if I can kibitz this lot of old broken down throwing arms, so can YOU!

AIRBORNE OBSERVER TO GM: No, I will NOT stop blowing up snow with my helicopter blades! Just think of it like windy weather.

GM TO AO: Hey, if you’re only blowing snow I consider myself lucky. Remember, you may be anonymous to the rest of the world, but I know who you are!

AIRBORNE OBSERVER TO SHREK: Sorry about your head, you were a little taller than the rest and I was trying to set down in that open space between the trees. I doubt you'll miss it in this crowd of losers.

GM NEWS FLASH!! Shrek is really Gerald Ford, he took a wrong turn in the Tour de Farce and wandered into ground zero!

SNOWSHOE HARE TO SNOWMASTER: That faint background music? "BA-EE-YAH-EE-YAH! wah-wah-wahhhhhhh..."

SNOWMEN WITH BOOBS: Snowshoe hare? You must be having a bad hare day!

SNOWSHOE HARE TO SNOWMAN WITH BALLS: Yeah, sure!

SNOWSHOE HARE TO SHREK THE OGRE: You're big, funny, and in a forgettable movie... are you sure you're not really Louie Anderson slumming?

SHREK: It's not easy being green... against a white backdrop. Hoots mon, where's ma trousers?

SNOWSHOE HARE TO ABOOBABLE SNOWMAN: Perhaps you meant Snow_o_man, oh Boobed One? If so, there's someone just around the corner of the shed that you'll want to meet.

SNOWSHOE HARE TO DALTON BROTHERS: I figger you oughta be tremblin' in fright 'bout now. Never seen snow before, right? Never been armed with anything less than a two-shot rifle, have ya? Well, if yer not shakin', ya will be when I get through wid ya...

DALTON BROS: Hare hare!

SNOWSHOE HARE TO JIM-BOOB: I know you're watching, even if that doesn't turn out to be you behind the "Aboobable" nom de guerre. You have *no* idea what has invaded your zine through this little back door. You've been through almost everything in your (eons-long) publishing life, but nothing could have prepared you for HARE EVERYWHERE!

GM TO ALL: Okay, anyone who wants to register a guess as to who’s who send it to me and I’ll reveal them at the end. Anyone gets them all right and I’ll be suing you for reading my email!

DALTON BROTHER DOLT TO SILLY LITTLE MAN NAMED REB, SO HIS WIFE CAN CALL HIM "REB, HUN . . .": Either correct the spelling of the Dalton Demons and the Dalton Dirigibles or recognize that you are dealing with Dalton Brother Dolt. On the other hand, you could keep the spelling of the Dolton Demons and the Dolton Dirigibles and change my name to Dalt, or rather, Dolton Brother Dalt. Nah, that doesn't work. How about change our name to Dolton Brothers Dolt and Dal(ber)t.

GM TO DB: About the only thing I understood out of that is that I can call you a dolt. Consider it done!

DOLTON BROTHER DOLT TO UDDER PLAYERS: You are not dealing with just any Dolt here, I am famous. Remember the movie with Jim Carey, it is really about me. They were going to call it "Dolt and Dolter," but my lawyer wanted them to protect the innocence. In-a-sense, the innocents. My hint for the game, "Don't lick any metal parts of ski lifts when going over the shed roof."

Dolton Brother Dal(ber)t: Please disregard anything Dolt says during the game. I am the one who knows how to turn on the computer and type. I send in the orders. I am the nice brother. I am a cop. A nice cop. Or, for this game, an ice cop.

SHREK: Listen to those two rabbiting on. Why do the Dalton brothers look like one guy, and an Amish at that? Split personality?

ABOOBABLE TO SNOWMAN WITH BALLS: Do you know the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

ABOOBABLE TO SHREK: We all know you are make believe. Celluloid. Now we know that Lochie is the earth farting during quakes. But, I, the Aboobable, am real and lurking. I will shred you to pieces and turn you into a whimpering little mommy's milk and cookies lover.

SNOWSHOE HARE TO COLD DAYERS: Howdy. Hop on over, anytime. Glad to make your acquaintances. Hop this game is hare raising good.

SNOWSHOE HARE TO MIKEY THE MYSTERY WRITER: "It was a cold day. A very cold day. Ivan Ivanovich saw his breath freeze before it got out of his mouth. The men around him were slow in the movements, huddling in the ragged coats and hands wrapped in more rags. One man was breathing on the pole that held the thermometer. Using his elbow to rub the ice off the cracked glass. "Forty four below" he yelled out. It was, it was a cold day. The coldest day of the winter. And barely beyond breakfast. The man were already slow and cold. Their production was down. The guards would be mad, would punish them. Ivan sped up, and as happens in all great novels, decided not to have a wall building contest with the other team of prisoners here in Siberia, but he decided to have a snowball contest. "Men, gather the snow into balls" he yelled, startling even himself, but much more so Alexander's editor. And the battle was on.

BOOB TO GM: If you tell me SB's balls.... well, that must be you, not me.

GM TO BOOB: If you want to go check SB for balls, that’s your decision. I’m not going to be any part of it!

BOOB TO DALTON BROTHERS: Since there are more than one of you, I pay you SPECIAL attention in Turn 1.

DALTON BROTHERS TO AS: Go ahead draw.

ABOOBABLE SNOWMAN: I can be made into a Boob, I can, I can, but not if you are hitting me with snowballs.

BOOB TO SNOWMAN WITH BALLS: We'll have those balls now, right now.

GM TO USELESS GM: What's wrong with impersonating YOU!!! It isn't like you know anything that can help any of us.

USELESS GM TO GM: I can impersonate me all I want.

BOOB TO USELESS: Who am I playing with anyway???? I must have missed something. I know who I am, of course, that is obvious, but the rest are a bit misty.

GM TO BOOB: Bonus points if you can figure it out.