Who's Your Buddy?

Who's Your Buddy Animated Map

Tour de Farce

Copernicus

Schwarzschild

Milk and Cookies

Well, frankly, it’s fried! Tax season was an unholy mess this year, no less than three different sources either didn’t sent me the necessary forms or sent me incorrect information. Of course I discovered the last of these the day after taxes were due and I had sent in my forms. Now it’s time to file an amended set and redo all those lovely forms. Wheeeee!

Last weekend was a real topper to it all. With taxes over, I thought I’d get a weekend to relax and enjoy the Easter holidays. Hah! First it starts raining like we were in the tropics or something, then the water starts coming into the basement. Mind you this is a new house we just built and the basement is finished! Much tromping about in the rain and investigating later and we figure it out that it is probably coming off the porch roof, hitting a joint in the siding and getting behind it, running down the wall to the top of the window frame, then coming in. Once again I thank my lucky stars that I have a great builder, the foreman was over Monday inspecting it and planning on a fix, no hassles, no delays, no attempts to duck their responsibilities.

While they are they I point out to them the signs of the Adventures of Sammy the Super Squirrel. Knowing how much junk we accumulate we had a storage room built above the garage. Well, this red squirrel found a way into the garage, then went up the outside of the chimney and into the storage room, where he started making nests in our stored clothes. Our first sign of him was when he chewed a hole through the plastic lid on the garbage can we store bird seed in. Then he introduced himself to my wife one day in the storage room. I expect his ears are still ringing, mine are!

So, I figured out where he was coming in, a hole between the floor and door frame and plugged it up with a rock. The little varmint chewed through the 2x4 to make a new hole! According to the builder there is foundation under the overhang there, so he’ll put in some brick to close the hole and lend me a trap. Little Sammy is going to take a trip to someone else’s back yard soon!

On the plus side, after my second round of knee surgery last fall, I’m back on the soccer field. The spring season just started and it feels great to be out and running again. Every so often you get a group of players where things just click, and we’ve got that going now. Last year we won our division and moved up a level. We had an awesome defense, with half the games being shutouts, but were just squeaking by on offense, winning by a goal or two. This year, despite being one level up, the offense has kicked in two. We won the first game 6-2 and the second one 7-0. If you’ve ever played a team sport, you may know the sort of feeling when everything starts to come together, it’s a great natural high.

Well, earlier deadlines and even an extra week didn’t help much, but we’ll stick with the split deadlines and hope it catches on.

For Who’s Your Buddy, Milk and Cookies, Tour de Farce the next deadline is MAY 30.

For Copernicus and Schwarzschild, the next deadline is JUNE 5.

England: f nwy - SKA

France: a mar – GAS

Austria: a Mun - TYO

Italy:

a mar – pie, otb

a tri – ven, alb, otb

A - R/I: Eh. I was pretty sure this would happen. I've been horrible about keeping up with my games, as you can see all throughout this zine. I should have corresponded more, and I was conscious of that, but there was always

some real world school thing to deal with. Goz, thanks for giving me the chance to stay in the game a little longer, coming from what I thought was a mercy position. I wish the two of you the best of luck in conquering Europe.

Russia to England: Well, I'm suitably chagrined. But I would like to point out an error in your last press: before Spring '06 I only attacked you on turns I didn't hear from you (look it up). Had you written back, I'd have hoped that we'd have worked something out. You didn't, and so we didn't. Maybe it's my fault we couldn't get it together, but I don't think so. We

can still talk, though you may want to pull Germany's knife out of your butt first. I promise not to laugh.

England to Germany: Sigh....What did you get tired of me DOING EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANTED??? Sheesh... I recommend that you go back to Risk.......

England to Italy: Do your best. I'm your toady........

England to Russia: Congratulations. You got exactly what you wanted. The little guys attacking each other. I will note, for the record, it was not I who cracked. You may still win this, but it won't be my fault.............come on Italy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Italy to England - It's kind of late for that kind of talk now ...

don't you think? I sent messengers periodically and they disappeared as if into a black hole.

Italy to France - May God have mercy on our souls. It's a struggle to the death, a crusade if you will. We wish to reclaim the Holy Lands in Iberia {I'll bet you didn't even know any existed!}.

Italy to Germany - Onward Christian Soldiers! We seek to vanquish the Gauls!

Field (looking back over shoulders)--Kurt: Pedal faster or you'll be left behind!

Conquest--Grimmer Horsemen: Wait for me!

Farcists--Boob: What do you mean by ``we'', Kemosabe?

Famine--Imlac: Too bad about the `27', dude.

Death--Jimmy Carter: See you at the finish line.

Jimmy Carter to Imlac: Yeah. So what's your point?

[Gerald Ford falls out of the tree and lands on a car, setting off a hideous alarm.]

Jimmy Carter: There's the signal boys! Onward!

Ronald Reagan: Here we go again.

Bill Clinton to George Bush: I'm not sure I can keep this pace up.

George Bush to Bill Clinton: Just pretend that Hillary is chasing you.

Boob to Farcists: Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Nekayah to Stacy: You may be leading now, but not for long, and I am not a lesbian, I am a PRINCESS!!!

Nekayah to Stacy: But, you know what I always say.... None are happy but by the anticipation of change: the change itself is nothing; when we have made it, the next wish is to change again. The world is not yet exhausted; let me see something tomorrow which I never saw before! So, what do you have in mind??

Boob to Kurt: Doin' drugs instead of riding is NOT helping your cause. You'sa 'bout ta go down da drain agin'.

Pekuah to All: It has often been my wish, and I have heard the Princess declare, that she should not willingly die in a crowd.

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Since the fuzzies got to use extra people last time, Rick has kindly presented us with the Twilight Zone Bike Path. Note, Twilight Zone riders get to count normal riders for their cards. Remember, Twilight charcters have special powers and anything goes in the Zone!

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Masturbating Bear rides in from an onramp and plays a 14 to finish at 22

Awareness Del (who makes people aware of Delaware) pulls in behind the ursine at 21

Pimpbot pulls in at 20 and says "I'll cut you, fool".

"Kim", the stand-up comic in the Witness Protection Program, rides next to Pimpbot at 20

Seven Foot Groucho makes himself space at 19 (and a lot of space that is)

Jeremy and Ira, the hooded guys from another dimension, ride their tandem bike to 18

Abe Vigoda, Al Roker, Nipsy Russell, and Dr. Joyce Brothers take a cab to 17

The second column (to the left of the rider’s name) contains the card played this round. New cards received are in bold.

The Goz Transportation Co. (Warren Goesle: 3907 Cedar Ridge, #1B, Indianapolis, IN 46235 gozcorp@iquest.com)

Team Manager: Gerald Ford

Coached by Triumph, the Insult Comic Dog

The Warm Fuzzies ( Sara Reichert, 20805 Margaret St., Carson, CA 90745-1224)

Team Leader: Sweet Sara

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Woolworth II-D Who’s Your Buddy?

TOP

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The black holes open up a myriad of retreat possibilities so we have a season seperation as we deal with the four retreats. Fall 1912 orders will be due next time.

a nap --> SER

a tri --> OTB

a tyo --> APU

a mos --> LPL

TURKEY TO BERRY: I REALLY miss you!

TURKEY TO GERMANY: Nah, I didn't really think you were that stupid, but one can always hope!

TOP

NOTE: As Jar Jar entered the Kitchen voluntarily, he is recouping 2 HP per segment. He can leave the kitchen at the start of the next turn if he wants with 7 HP, or if he waits the full 3 segments, he can come out the 2^nd segment with 10 HP. Northern Exposure gains no hit point benefit from the Shed as he already has 10 HP.

Congratulations to our Yeti, it appears that he is now a free man. Welcome back John!

BOOBSWAY to YETI: The idea of the tree is that you are supposed to drop snow from the branches on Jar-Jar and Twitchy. Now get to work! I'll give you a hand....

GM to BOOBSWAY: You’ve got to hit the tree first!

GM to Yeti: Lots of snow, but nobody home!

BOOBSWAY to JAR-JAR: Bye, bye, you're next in the kitchen!!

GM: Hmmm, opening up a side line in fortune telling are we?

JJ - Boob Sway : I hope the Muffins are in the oven!

BOOBSWAY to JAR-JAR: Your muffins are ready, come 'n get 'em!

Jar Jar goes straight for the kitchen. He wants the muffins. He figures he's got no snowballs, he's standing under a tree, and Yeti will feast on him. . . . Jar Jar is scared. . . . He's also a bit cowardly.

BOOBSWAY to EARTHLINGS: Luckily for all of us, my muffins are poisonous to non-sentient beings, especially ones like Jar-Jar.

BOOBSWAY to GM: Twitchy is too so dumb... I have as many Victory Points as he does and twice the Hit Points!

GM to BOOBSWAY: Uhm, I think you’d better check your math, that is if you can find a finger to count with under all that snow.

BOOBSWAY to ZAMBONI: Pop, pop, pop, there go your tires!!

NE to everyone: Ok, I had Zamboni cornered. It's everyone else's turn to take a whack at him.

TWITCHY TA JER(K) JER(K): Yer friggin UGLY close up! Yik!

JJ: Everybody hit the mean ol' twitchy guy!!

TWITCHY TA ZAMBONER: Back at ya.

TWITCHY TA HEIDI: Try hittin a movin target, Goldilocks!

Z-NE: Hear that horn man, the second period already began! Boobsway is inay the oxbay - even if Sweet Sarah doesn't know it.

Z-snowday movie goers: Pretend that NE is the snow plow driver! And pretend that I am Tigger, loveable Tigger. I do what Tigger's do best, build dirigibles.

Z-NE: How dare you throw the SBs instead of hide first!

GM – Z: He did both this turn, is that better?

Zambonis apparently have lots of storage space in there and can keep all their emails, which they then regurgitate to their GMs as volumes of press. Take off your boots, grab a hot chocolate and read on as the Zamboni press rolls forth:

GM (She’s a Gal of Her Word all right. Jim you under there somewhere? Jim?)