France's End Of Game Statement from "barney"

Broadcast message from carraghe@cs.ucsd.edu as France in barney:

[Aw hell, I can't wait. So without further ado, you have the end-of-game statement from France. This is pretty long, around 240 lines. You have been warned.]

Well, as one of the unfortunate powers eliminated from Barney, I suppose you, the reader, are expecting a "sour grapes" End-Of-Game statement. In that case, I won't disappoint you. B-)

Actually, it's said that one may learn more from losing than from winning. I must agree with this. I've learned far more about Diplomacy in this game than in the two I played previously (successfully, I might add).

Okay, first some background. Waaaay back in August of 1993, the original French player posted that he was losing his account, and needed to be replaced. I took a look at his position, and without knowing the exact situation, figured it'd be a short game. It was Winter 1906, with adjustments yet to be made before the Spring 1907 moves, and France needed to remove three units. Further, England had already taken Paris, Brest, and much of Germany. To the east and south, Austria had attacked the French possessions in Italy, though help was on the way in the form of Turkey, who was attacking Austria. I walked into this and wondered what the heck I was going to do.

Before each game, I make a decision on what my goal is: do I want to play for a strong, two-way draw, or do I want to go for the win at all costs? Since it looked like a real challenge, I went for the latter. But how could I, owning but one home center, and seven overall, hope to triumph over England, who was already at 13? First, I resolved to stop the war in the Balkans. Eventually, we formed a tri-partite pact. But until we could put our forces into action against the Brits, I needed to be sure that the front in Germany was secured. At the time, I had only an army in Munich, and Russia controlled Berlin. (England was in Kiel, Denmark, and Holland.) This was actually the most crucial point in the game for me, for I needed to convince the Tsar to work with me, though he had long-since been reduced to one center.

After contacting him and trying to seduce him with the prospect of centers, he replied with:

New supply centers are of little use to me. I will make to you the same offer I have made to your predecessor and to England: Come up with a creative and challenging objective that I might strive for in my present state, and I will consider it. England suggested something (sorry, can't say what). Your predecessor promised to think of something but never got back to me. I know it's tough to compete against a proposal which you don't know what it has, using criteria as lunatic as "creative and challenging," but that's what you must do...

I still had no clue what Germany desired. We communicated briefly in the Spring of 1907, the Kaiser still dreaming of returning to Berlin. Of course, I would have none of this counterproductive plan, though I didn't directly tell him that. But the Kaiser must have sensed this, for he never spoke to me again. However, he was apparently as steadfast an ally of Turkey as the Tsar was of me, for he seemed to follow virtually every request the Sultan sent him. Eventually, when he bored of the game, he allowed himself to be eliminated by the Sultan under circumstances about which I am still a little confused.

However, at this point, I had effectively managed to convince everyone to unite against the King of England, Stephen III, the self-styled Emperor of India, Grandduke of Russia, Grobherzog von Deutschland, Marquis de France, and scourge of Turkey. (At the time, he believed his one, true friend was Austria.) I proceeded to convince the King that I would allow him into the Med if he were to "leave me alone." Stephen, however, insisted that I part with more provinces to compensate for war damages. This haughty attitude simply reinforced my desire to not only remove English presence from my soil, but also make him my #1 victim. Hence, I agreed to his proposal, but stabbed him instead.

This apparently took him completely by surprise, for he sent me rather heated communiqués in its aftermath, always proclaiming the surety that he would win "with or without" me. I do not understand this, however, for a win "with or without" me is a loss on my part either way. He also claimed that the Sultan had been sending him proposals for three- or two-way draws that included only himself, Austria, and England. Regardless of the truth of this, I knew it would be far easier to convince the Austrians and the Turks of my good intentions rather than the Brits, especially since they were still by far the largest power in Europe. Playing with him, but utterly ignoring his pleas, requests, and demands, I attacked him again in the Fall. While I lost Kiel (having stolen it in the Spring), I considered the year a success in that my position was more secure, and England had lost a center, though it was to the Ottoman Empire which was also larger than France.

Another year went by, and I reacquired Paris. England lost St. Petersburg to the German/Turkish alliance. This was for me the most exciting time of the game, as England was being pushed back, while I was achieving my chief goal: regaining control of France. It was during this time, though, that a near-dissolution of the Franco-Russian alliance took place. I had been stabbed partially by Austria in the Spring of 1908, though it did no real damage. But, as I was not sure whether I could maintain the front in Germany without Austrian aid, I told the Russians to prepare for the worst. The Tsar took this as a sign that I was abandoning him, and proceeded to join the British camp. But by the following year, after much diplomacy, the relationship was reestablished. However, the strain of maintaining the truce between Austria and Turkey was beginning to wear me out. Also, Turkey made the mistake of building a fleet in Smyrna, which heightened my paranoia about his designs on my Mediterranean possessions. Finally, out of frustration or lack of time, the old English player resigned, and a new king, Terry II, rose in his place. This turned the alliance around completely, for I then led England, Russia, and Austria against Turkey and Germany. I still insisted on having Terry return Brest to me so that I would help ensure Turkey would not win, and I actually gained this concession. Thus began the first in a series of reversals and stabbings on my part. (I never intended to help the original England, so I don't count that.)

By this time, the Sultan was talking about a two- or three-way draw, eliminating both the two rumt powers, Russia and Germany, and Austria, who at this time was up to five centers. I was having none of this, but played on his suggestions to lull him so that my stab could be pulled off. Unfortunately, though I did succeed in the stab, it hurt the Sultan very little. Worse, with England beginning to put forces into the Med, I knew I was simply reversing the situation, and needed to take control of this area of Europe. Thus came the rapprochement with the Sultan, and the final stab of Austria. Unfortunately, though the result would net me a total of five centers, I was unable to use three of them, and England would take advantage of this. After eliminating his Mediterranean forces, with the help of the Sultan's fleets, I found myself with a secured area around Gibraltar, but no truly secure fronts. Plus, the Sultan was still growing, and I had run up against a wall against further growth. I made my last stab of the game: I made peace with the English and attacked Turkey. Thus began the longest part of the game, which at one point pitted five Turkish fleets against six French fleets in an unstable stalemate around the Italian peninsula. Progress was incredibly slow, though I knew that if I could simply break through the Sultan's lines, I could race through to take several centers, and perhaps surprise England one last time. It was during this time that my ally, Russia, began to provide the tactical plans for the alliance, though I gave England no clue about this. The Tsar's experience showed, especially in providing excellent strategic advice. Unfortunately, I did not always follow that advice, such as in the Fall of 1913, missing an excellent opportunity that did not again present itself.

It was clear to the Sultan, though, that I would eventually break through, so he took advantage of a big mistake I made: not diploming with Turkey during this whole time. He then brokered a deal with England, giving him two supply centers at a crucial moment. That, coupled with my ignoring England's England's maneuverings in the north, allowed England to begin his stab of me. Since both England and I had declared to each other that we would enable Turkey to win were one to stab the other, I decided to immediately implement my half of MAD. But, given the long history between the Tsar and myself, I informed him of my intentions first. It was his efforts that brought me out of my funk, and taught me yet another lesson: *always* play for a stalemate line even if looks clear you will lose. He conceived of a brilliant stalemate line against the British, but it depended on convincing the Turks that an English win was imminent. Again, allowing me to appear to be the dominant ally, Russia let me do all the diploming with the Sultan. I barraged him constantly with messages about how easily a stalemate line could be achieved, and how King Terry would simply overwhelm him if he didn't take the threat seriously. Unfortunately, this backfired, as I was by now far less trustworthy than the English, who did absolutely nothing to compromise that trust. The Sultan played me along, allowing me to sacrifice center after center (necessary to establish the line regardless of England's maneuverings). When all was in place, the Sultan stabbed me.

But, the Tsar gave me one last hope, if we could just convince the Sultan to go for a win. For my first time, I faked a message from England, claiming he could win entirely on his own. Once again, the Sultan claimed interest; but, due to my own habit of sending in orders early, and a freak accident in the Real World, the opportunity was lost. Turkey completed his stab. The last, desperate ploy was to pull the same stunt with England: to put him in a position to win and force the Turks to enter into a multi-way draw. This failed as well, for England simply betrayed my trust, and my existence came to an end the following Fall.

There are still a few things that confuse me: I understand England's stab which sent the game into its final stages, finally breaking the deadlock in the Mediterranean between myself and the Sultan. I even understand the decision on the Sultan's part to play me for a fool by letting me make myself exceedingly vulnerable while setting up my part of the stalemate line, though I must admit he insulted my intelligence along the way. I would never have played along so long had I any other real alternative. What I don't understand are their final betrayals. By this time, I had been rendered effectively impotent. From the level of trust they obviously had for each other, I found their need to continue to deceive me incomprehensible. England's final excuse was especially ridiculous, and rather offensively amateurish. And I do say this in spite of the attempts on England's part in the last year of play to take Tunis.

However, to the winners, I give my congratulations. I have played games where I decided to stick by my agreements to the end, no matter how tempting the win looked. To the Sultan, I will say that the stalemate line offer was genuine, though all offers afterwards were deceiving, based only on the desire to be part of a final stalemate line. To England, I never held a grudge against you for your initial betrayal; but your final stab was very childish. If you trusted Turkey as you clearly did, you would have required only one more turn to take both Spain and Marseilles; I was in no position to stop you, or even offer serious resistance.

To Russia, who was my steadfast ally through 14 long (game) years, it's too bad that I fell victim to the same mistake as the other France, but it happens to the best. (Smile.) Some, including yourself, may wonder why I allowed you to live so long, including sacrificing my own centers at times. The answer is easy: there were a few times in the early years when I might've decided it was easier to pick up another center, but more often than not your advice proved very helpful, and that, to me, makes for a very valuable ally. Your aid, especially in the Stalemate Line years, when I was ready to throw in the towel, was greatly appreciated. Thank you for all your help. (Of course, now I'm sure I'll find out he directed the last several years which resulted in my eventual elimination. B-)

Ah, I feel better now. To all the Barney players, thank you for an entertaining seven months. I hope we may all meet again on the Diplomacy battlefield!

Presidente-in-Exile Carragher

Go Back to the Diplomacy Academy

Read the next article (Turkey's End of Game Statement)