THE ABYSSINIAN PRINCE #272

July 5, 2003

Produced by Jim Burgess, 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327 USA, (401)351-0287

Accessible through Internet at burgess of world.std.com (all E-Mail addresses are reported in this format, replace the " of " with "@"; if you bounce try sending to me from another account or FAX to (401) 277-9904. For Faxing, most of the time you have to call me to tell me it's coming so I can set up the FAX.
Web Page Address: /Postal/Zines/TAP/index.html


Let's see, Rip Gooch is here, we have had some great success with getting new choo-choo games going there. And Harold Reynolds is here with more of that monstrosity known as Colonia. And Michael Lowrey is here with his subszine too! AND an open letter from Larry Peery. We also have FULL results from the Boston Massacre. The slight delay led me to push ALL deadlines back one week. Thanks to all and enjoy!!!




The postal sub price is still $1.50 per issue in the US and Canada, with double that for other foreign subbers (or $3.00 per issue sent airmail). Players in current games and standbys will continue to get the issues for free, and future game starts (except for Nuclear Yuppie Evil Empire Diplomacy, which is free) cost $20.00 ($15.00 for a life of the game subscription and $5 for the NMR Insurance. Or you can play in subszines for free and just jack up the issue page count. See the revised game start announcements below!
Check out the connections in the Diplomatic Pouch with all of the information you need to play Diplomacy on the Internet at: /
I also have taken over the Postal portion of the Pouch: /Postal/
and TAP on the web is there at: /Postal/Zines/TAP/index.html
where the szine resides in html format. Presently, issues from #190 to the current issue are there, and I will be updating the back issues gradually someday. Also, check out Stephen Agar's more extensive efforts at: http://www.diplomacy-archive.com and http://www.diplomacy.co.uk
David Wang still has the HIGHLY prized name: www.szine.com!! BUT, the site has not been updated in recent times. If you want to follow me and others in John Caruso's Baseball League, THE place to follow the league now is DICKIE-POO Martin's website: http://www.phantomempire.com where in the "files" section, "baseball" sub-section, you can see all of the individual and team level stats. Use the Telnet button in the upper left corner, that's the easiest way to do it these days. You need to sign up as a "member" to see all of the files. You, too, can chat with John Caruso there, especially on Saturday and Sunday mornings. Really, you can. John's E-Mail address also is commishjohn of att.net if you want to send him E-Mail after all that. John still has one opening, you can play RIGHT NOW! Contact him at commishjohn of att.net if you're interested in joining us or ask me for more details, this REALLY IS THE most fun thing I do in the hobby at the moment, find out why!!!
Peter Sullivan's subszine remains "in stasis", although all the back issues can be accessed via :
http://www.burdonvale.co.uk/octopus/index.html.
Peter was saying that he would be unlikely to be starting any new games in the Octopus until "at least the start of 2002." He is now hereby declared to be in official indeterminate stasis and that date is now a "whenever". In the meantime, Rip Gooch and Dave Partridge are picking up the choo-choo game slack in TAP. Contact Rip at xyropedes of canada.com or Dave at rebhuhn of rocketmail.com for more info.
By electronic mail, through the Internet, subs are free and can be obtained automatically by sending the message: subscribe tap
to majordomo of diplom.org and messages can be sent to the entire electronic mailing list by mailing them to tap of diplom.org which will forward your message to all of the people currently on the list. The message:
unsubscribe tap
sent to majordomo of diplom.org gets you off the list. Please make careful note of that as well since you generally can get yourself off the list a lot easier than I can, and NOBODY likes to see unsubscribe messages sent to the entire list. A big, big thank you for David Kovar for setting this all up!!


THE SEARCH FOR STEVE KNIGHT
Find Steve Knight by issue 275 and win the fifty buck prize!! come on, I KNOW Steve must be on the Internet somewhere these days, so he should be able to be found relatively easily.
Feel free to spend the time looking for some of the backlog. Let's get Ed, Tom, Bill, Gregory, Kevin, and Al found too!!! This is a regular continuing feature of the szine and I will be introducing a new "search for" every five issues. Moreover, you can win a $25 prize for finding some previous target who went unfound in the original $50 period. That means that if Ed Henry or Tom Hurst or Bill Quinn or Gregory Stewart or Kevin Tighe or Al Pearson is "found" from now on it is worth $25.
Winners will receive credit for Dip hobby activities that I will pay out as requested by the winner. Subscribe to szines here or abroad, run your own contests, publish a szine, finance a web page, GO TO A DIPLOMACY CONVENTION or whatever. Spend it all right away or use me as a bank to cover hobby activities for years. What must you do to win? Get me a letter to the editor for TAP from the person we're searching for.
This is very important, just finding them doesn't do it. They have to write me a letter. The final judge as to the winner of any contest will be the target himself and I reserve the right to investigate the winning entry. When you find someone I'm looking for, you should ask him to send me a letter for print that includes a verification of who "found" him.




INTERNATIONAL SUBSCRIPTION EXCHANGE NEWS
The British representative is the editor of Mission From God, John Harrington. John may be contacted at 1 Churchbury Close, Enfield, Middlesex EN1 3UW, UK.
E-Mail: fiendish of operamail.com, John.Harrington of tfeurope.com
Please include the full name and address of the foreign publisher with your order, if possible, as well as the szine title. Make your check in US dollars out to me personally or in GBP to John if you're doing things from that end. I will conduct business for Canadians as well, if I can, but prefer to deal in US dollars with them if possible, or Canadian dollars cash. To subscribe to American szines, the system works in reverse.
We have added a European continental representative, most of this traffic likely will occur between Ronald Camstra (in the Netherlands) and John Harrington, but if anyone here in the US wants to get money into Euros, we'll try to help you out. Ronald Camstra can be contacted at siedler of zonnet.nl and his home address is: Wielingenplein 48, 3522 PE Utrecht, the Netherlands. But in Holland it is most common not to send checks but to transfer money by bank. Dutch people can pay directly to Postbankaccount 4652247 of Ronald Camstra in Utrecht. Since he can see the name and address of the sender in his bankreceipt, people only have to mention the name of the zine and the editorial address along with their bank order. Ronald is obviously a huge Settlers of Catan fan. If you're interested in playing that game internationally by mail, I think Ronald can help you out.
We also have reopened a branch office of the International Subscription Exchange in Australia!! Brendan Whyte, the publisher of the excellent szine Damn the Consequences will be doing the honors, taking over in some sense from John Cain, who was the Australian rep for many years. You can contact Brendan to sub to Australian szines from the US or to sub to US szines from Australia, converting Australian dollars into American ones. We are now maneuvering deals to Europe from the other reps as well. You can find Brendan Whyte at bwhyte of unimelb.edu.au (note that this is a new E-Mail address for Brendan) or by mail to send checks at: Geography Dept., University of Melbourne, Vic 3010, AUSTRALIA. This should help out my Australian subbers!!


WORLDMASTERS02 SECTION
WorldMasters 2002 Email Diplomacy Tournament First Round has ended and the selections for Round 2 have been made. Here are some of the "players" of interest who have advanced to Round 2, in order of their point score from Round 1: Tim Sweeney (who led tied with Martin Sanders!), Ray Setzer (who soloed the game I GMed), Brian Dennehy, Toby Harris, Kevin Wilson (see below), Lee Simpson, Jack "Trojan Owl" Brawner (yes, really!), Rod Spade, Len Tennant, Brain Sheldon, Mark Wightman, Adam Silverman, Sean "Blue" Cable, Chetan Radia, Egbert "Egg" Ferreira, David Cohen, Steve Cooley, Vincent Carry, Steve Emmert, Eric Grinnell, Chris Martin, Greg Ellis (is that "our" Greg Ellis, I'm really not sure....), Rick Desper, Frank Johansen, and Randy Hudson. Round 2 looks like it will be REALLY hard fought, as the riff-raff has been chaffed out.
See http://www.cat23.com/wm02 for full details. Since I didn't get sufficient interest to get a team in, I am back on the WorldMasters Tournament Management Committee again.
I asked Kevin Wilson, "Hi Kevin, care to make any comments for print in TAP? I'd like to have some "banter" about WM...." and I got....


Kevin Wilson (Fri, 13 Jun 2003 00:05:05 EDT)
Jim-Bob, All of us at one time or another in our lives have been a rookie at something. Many of us have also had an opportunity to set precedent on some issue or another. But it isn't frequent that a person sets precedent as a rookie. I guess I can claim that distinction, or at least I hope that I can. In the last issue of TAP you gave an update on the World Masters 2003 Tournament. In that discussion you talked about the ruling by the Tournament Management Committee on a GM's attempt to roll-back a turn because he failed to honor an extension request by a player who was away. Well, the player that roll-back disadvantaged was me. As you'll see below, the final outcome turned out OK but at the time it certainly didn't seem it would be that way. The NMR that resulted from the omitted extension allowed me to get into a position where I was certain to get to 18 centers in the fall. The roll-back not only removed that possibility but exposed the planned moves of me and another player and both of us objected. With the roll-back my path was much harder. I was still certain to get to 17 centers but that last, 18th center, was going to be difficult. It took two years but I got not only the 18th but a 19th in the same turn to get the solo win and advance to the next round. The bad news was that in the meantime, my team fell down the rankings as one of our teammates was eliminated when his game went solo. He was second on that board and the points for that second finish probably would have kept us in the Top 10 but we fell to the Second 10. Still a respectable finish, assuming we hold that slot.
I still think the roll-back was incorrect and hope the tournament considers adding rules to address the situation. That's the precedence part. As this was my first World Masters, I was a rookie setting that precedence. ((Well, possibly, I will say for sure that your game and this situation generated a LOT of discussion. Some people say (and I tend to agree) that the WorldMasters rules have ballooned to be TOO large and involved. One problem is that the tournament really has grown to encompass nearly all of the Diplomacy hobby's disparate communities. The US postal people, the Internet Judge people, including the Vermont Group people, the Academy people, the Cat23 people, the Redscape people, the British postal hobby, the Diplomacy 2000 people, the European hobbies (Norway, Germany, Italy, France, Sweden, Belgium, and more), the VERY intense Brazilian hobby, the Australian/NZ hobby, and those are just the ones I know about and stay reasonably connected to. It doesn't mean of course that everyone from these hobbies plays in this tournament since then you would have 5000 players or more instead of only about 500. But it does mean that you have a lot of playing styles, GM styles, and other norms of behavior that need to be melded. This has led the organizers to write a LOT of rules down. But of course, most players don't read the rules that are there (not suggesting this of you of this Kevin...) and players still feel that rules are being thrown at them from out of left field. I like to think that the TMC can help to smooth out these problems, but we didn't do that very well in the case that Kevin is citing.))
I realize the tournament has a long way to go and the next round will be even harder than the first but I really enjoyed my round one game. In many pbm games I find the other players either write little or never. In the WM game the correspondence was frequent, detailed, involved and fast. I found it very enjoyable and I encourage others to play the next time around. The play was good too. The players were not only good tacticians, my strength, but excellent strategists, the area I sometimes forget. I found myself fortunate, as Austria, to have a Franco-Italian war open from 1901 and continue until Italy was knocked out. In the east I had a very good Russian player and a Turkish player who I believe was also a rookie to the tournament and perhaps a rookie to Diplomacy. I was able to get them fighting and when the first left an opening, seized it and gained the upper ground. I was either in the lead or tied for the lead through 1904 and in 1905 took the center count lead and never let anyone else get close. Germany and I agreed early to just split the game for the first and second points and that was what I intended to do until an unexpected opportunity presented itself. In fall 1907 I had the chance to jump from 12 centers to 17 centers. But if I took the chance it would be a very hard guessing game to get to 18 as I was certain to lose a center and fall to 16 the following hear and would need to get the final 2 to win. I was assured of not falling into 2nd but I couldn't be sure of getting to 18. The other choice was to bet less greedy and only jump from 12 to 16. The fewer centers grab kept my units closer together and assured me of still getting to 17 but with a better chance of getting that last center. I went that route and then when Germany NMRd I thought it was in the bag. The route turned out to take another, expected, year but the outcome was still the same, even with the roll-back. All in all a good game. And in hindsight it felt better to win and not through an NMR than with the NMR, but I would have taken it with the NMR if the ruling had gone in my favor. ((I'm sure Dave Partridge and Steve Hutton, among the TMC who surely are reading this, are happy to hear the update. I'm happy about that too.))
Jim-Bob, next time around, if my current team doesn't field a team or doesn't need me, I'd be happy to be on a TAP team and play. And next time shouldn't a subber to TAP get more consideration from the TMC? ;-)
Kevin, CKevinW of aol.com
Kevin's Second Rule of Life: Ït's her house, I just live here."
((Thanks, Kevin, and I think the inherent fairness of the TMC (despite its heavy TAP representation) is illustrated by the ruling. ;-) And thanks for the offer to help me put together a TAP team next time around. I will work on it sooner next time, I think.))


DIPDOM NEWS SECTION (with letters)
Obscure and not-so-obscure ramblings on the state of the hobby and its publications, custodians, events, and individuals with no guarantee of relevance from the fertile keyboard of Jim-Bob, the E-Mail Dip world, and the rest of the postal hobby. My comments are in italics and ((double quotation marks)) like this. Bold face is used to set off each individual speaker. I should also make a note that I do edit for syntax and spelling on occasion.
The game Diplomacy is a copyrighted product owned by Hasbro and all reproductions or other use of that material in this szine is intended to be personal use and not infringe on those rights in any way. All reproductions are done at a heavy financial loss to the editor and thus are without the remotest possibility of commercial intent, except to promote THE game, the Game of Diplomacy, which you all should purchase from Hasbro or other duly licensed distributors.
In what I believe is a RECENT change, Hasbro also has been putting the rules to Diplomacy up on their web page along with rules for most of their other games. Not only that, but they have the "current" as well as an older version of the rules there. Stephen Agar has matched that and more with some of the even older rulebooks. Check these out if you like:
http://www.hasbro.com/default.asp?x=cc_gameandtoyinstructions
http://www.hasbro.com/instruct/Diplomacy.PDF
http://www.hasbro.com/instruct/Diplomacy(OlderVers).PDF
Nice of them to make BOTH of these available. And all seven different US rulebooks for Diplomacy can now be found here courtesy of Stephen Agar:
http://www.diplomacy-archive.com/old_rulebooks.htm


Check out back issues of Diplomacy World - www.diplomacyworld.org
As we tried to get together the Fall issue, it became clear to all of us that the current editorial structure has failed. The new issue is almost put together, but needs a new lead editor. Stephen is backing away, I'm not at all prepared to go it alone, and certainly Dave Partridge isn't ready to take it over. But the framework is there. Rather than publish a substandard issue of what we have, let's declare failure and see if anyone cares enough to step forward as lead editor. It probably doesn't help that the new lead editor for the Diplomatic Pouch, Edward Hawthorne, has ten times my hobby energy and is running around like a vacuum cleaner scooping up all the writers (even me, I'm writing for him first, he's SO persuasive!) for the expanded and back on schedule Pouch. I do think there is more than enough room for both, especially since the Diplomatic Pouch is ONLY available on the Web, but if someone else doesn't think so, then so be it.
If you want to subscribe in paper form at $3 per issue, North American subs should be sent to David Partridge, 15 Woodland Drive, Brookline, NH 03033, USA. Stephen Agar is handling international postal subscriptions and you can write to him at: 47 Preston Drove, Brighton, BN1 6LA, UK. Issues from Stephen will cost you 2 GBP in the UK and 3 GBP for the rest of the world. Or subscribe electronically at diplomacyworld at Yahoo Groups! But I realize that most of you will wait for some notice about the future. Nothing new yet.


See last year's 2002 Hobby Awards ballot at:
/Postal/Zines/TAP/BALLOT02.html
See the results at: /Postal/Zines/TAP/ANNOUNCE02.html.
The nominations will be finalized NEXT ISSUE FOR SURE, so get any last ones in:
1) People who you think might deserve the Kathy Byrne Caruso Memorial Award for Lifetime Achievement to the Hobby. Last year's award went to the late Richard Sharp.
2) People who you think might deserve the Don Miller Memorial Award for Meritorious Service to the Hobby.
3) People who you think might deserve the Rod Walker Award for Literary Achievement (get me an electronic copy of the article!).
4) People who you think might deserve the John Koning Memorial Award for Player Performance (remember it has to be for playing in 2002).
5) People who you think might deserve the Fred Hyatt Memorial Award for GM Performance (again for 2002 GMing).


All szine editors and people wanting to get rid of archival postal hobby material to productive purpose, should think about sending it to:
Richelle Burkey(Diplomacy Hoosier Arch.)
Popular Culture Library
William T. Jerome Library, 4th Floor
Bowling Green State University
Bowling Green, OH 43403
where lots of excellent archival material is flowing in.


((There is some question about how able or willing BGSU remains in the archives, I think we need someone to leave them a lot of money to wake them up.... money donations are tax deductible! Otherwise, they don't want to have to sort duplicates. All of you should continue to send your new issues to her, but for past stuff, we're going to need to work out some way of getting their attention.))


Andy Bartalone (Mon, 30 Jun 2003 14:53:57)
Tempest/DipCon and Hotel stuff
Good Evening; Please pass this information on to your constituency. ((Whoops, in the list of "hobby groups" above I forgot to include the Pitkissers (PTKS), who are hosting this year's DipCon....))
DipCon, The North American Championships for 2003 will be held in Washington D.C. and hosted by the Potomac Tea and Knife Society at their annual Tempest in a Teapot Tournament, held over Columbus Day Weekend, October 10th - 12th.
Website: http://www.research.umbc.edu/ ikep/index.html
Registration: Send an email to myself and Andy Marshall at: Andy Bartalone: buffalo of guisarme.net; Andy Marshall : landruajm of netscape.net.
Fees: Pre-Registration, 26.00 before September 17th; At the Door, 35.00.
Pre-Registration can be paid by Check, Money Order, or PayPal to buffalo of guisarme.net.
Checks and Money Orders can be made to the PTKS or Paypal'd to me at buffalo of guisarme.net
Checks and Money Orders should be mailed to me: Andy Bartalone, 4911 Reston Lane, Bowie, MD 20715.
The Hotel is the Washington Terrace, just off Scott Circle and a few blocks from Dupont and Washington Circles. This is a TRUE, 4 star hotel. The convention rate for Tempest is 99.00 a night, and you will likely not do better anywhere in the area, even on the weekend specials of other hotels. Mention that you are with the PTKS.
www.washingtonterracehotel.com
We look forward to seeing all of you in October, and everyone should get signed up sooner rather than later so that we can keep an accurate running total, especially local club members.
Thank you, Andy Bartalone, PTKS Treasurer, buffalo of guisarme.net


((I will just note that this is going to be a great DipCon. Andy and Andy and Ike and the other Pitkissers are going to host a great event. I had not planned to go, but I am seriously rethinking. The FTF hobby is continuing to become more and more active in recent years. Get out and participate! If not here, then what about CanCon??))


Cal White (Wed, 11 Jun 2003 18:58:08 -0400)
I can finally add SOME of the details for CanCon.
It will be held the weekend of August 15, 16 and 17 at the University of Toronto's Scarborough campus.
Entry fees are dirt cheap at $10/day or $20 for all three days.
We're still working on the room rates in the townhouse, but it will probably be in the $40-$45/night range. Again, this is very cheap and especially so for the Americans.
CanCon is typically a small get together with Diplomacy as the focus, but all games are welcome and usually provide filler for between Dip games as well as for the early victims.
The rooms are your typical university dorms and the townhouses are quite nice. The campus is very close to all the amenities (beer, liquor, pizza, etc) and a good time is had by all.
A note of interest for potential attendees: it looks as if I will be running the Dip tournament this year instead of playing, so someone else can have a shot at the trophy this year... (G)
diplomat, aka Cal White, 3-time CanCon champ, diplomat of idirect.com
((And we can presume that the scoring system will not annoy Cal as much as the ARMADA system did.))


MUSIC AND MOVIES SECTION (WITH COMMENTS ON OTHER ARTS AND SOCIETY)
Tell me anything you like about the year of 2002 or other recent past in music. List a top two, a top ten, or a top 100, I don't care, just tell me something!!


Heath Gardner (Mon, 23 Jun 2003 10:00:52 -0400)
Jim,
If you or anyone else is interested in what I've been doing for the past few years, here's a few lines about it. ((Yes, yes, yes, we're very interested.)) I've sort of found my niche at the UNC Greensboro English Dept. I won the only fiction writing scholarship available to undergrads for the 2003-2004 academic year. I'll be a junior this year - I think the last time I was really in contact with anyone in the diplomacy hobby was when I was a junior in high school. After I graduate from UNCG, my plan is to go get my MFA somewhere in creative writing. I have a wonderful girlfriend, Jane, who I've been dating for almost a year. So I would say things are going very well for me, and I'm really glad to be back in a game of Diplomacy again.
Heath, shaolinshadowboxing of hotmail.com
((That's great, Heath, I haven't regretted keeping you "around". I certainly can understand being more concerned with writing "professionally". We've got a lot of catchups in this issue. Let's see what Goz has been up to next.))


Warren Goesle (Tue, 17 Jun 2003 22:17:23 -0400)
Jim-Bob,
Sorry I haven't written for a while. I've been standing in line outside the Cubs' box office for World Series tickets. Cubs fans don't get to do that very often as late as June. ((Indeed, well you have a real manager now. Dusty is great.))
I was listening to Mike & Mike on ESPN radio the other day, and they were interviewing Dick Vitale, who said that for Father's Day he got to take his grandkids to the Tampa Bay Devil Rays/Pittsburgh Pirates game. Mike Greenburg said that maybe next year he could go to a Major League game instead. Yankees versus Dodgers in October still looks like a good bet. ((No, no, no, no.... you have just unwittingly (well, probably not) just dissed my two favorite teams, the Red Sox and the Giants. The Red Sox are in tough shape at the moment, but are about to face down the Yankees in NYC. The Giants are simply kicking the Dodgers butts. The Dodgers will be lucky to stay ahead of the Diamondbacks.))
I threw out the article unfortunately, but late last week someone printed a list of the world's 50 best magazines. How Yoga magazine made the list when The Abyssinian Prince didn't only shows that there was blatant favoritism shown by the author. ((Indeed, I'm really pissed. Just look at all the production design on this thing! It puts Yoga to shame!!!))
Look for a new address on this end soon. I'm now working in the far-far-Western 'burbs of Chicago, though we haven't sold the house in Toledo yet, so I'm commuting back there on weekends. Tomorrow I get to make an offer on a house that I can't pay off until I'm 75 or so. That's America. Take care there.
Goz, My kid beat up your honor roll student. wgoesle of core.com
((Sigh, he's already bragging about that little guy, turning him into a fighter from the start. Stay out of those burbs, don't do it, Goz!!!))


Steve Hutton (Thu, 19 Jun 2003 10:17:40 -0400)
Subject: I'm thinking of putting in slot machines ((Go for it, you don't even have to be an Indian any more. Contribute to the anesthesia of America with our latest and greatest drug. It could even beat shopping..... just shop and gamble and you'll never have to think.))
First off, because I know you are being flooded with letters from TAPpists in Texas wondering how they can see my movie (and stop the insufferable gloating of your Pennsylvania subscribers) - even though the latest screening information is always available at http://www.greekchorus.com/fluff/screen.php but some people are so lazy - I'm pleased to announce that Fluff will also screen at Austin Gay and Lesbian International Film Festival from August 21 to September 1, 2003. No word yet on how many of the Bush family will attend. ((Go for it, I've cheated and read most of the material on the website, including the hilarious "making of Fluff". I blatantly ignored the spoilers warning.))
Last week, the Ontario Court of Appeal upheld a lower court ruling that the legal definition of marriage ("one man and one woman") was unconstitutional (which courts in British Columbia and Quebec have also found), but it threw out the part where the judge suspended the effect of the ruling for two years to allow Parliament to come up with a new law. The court said that, effective immediately, the term marriage applies to "two persons", the province must register the same-sex legal marriages performed by the Metropolitan Community Church of Toronto in 2001 and any future same-sex legal marriages, and municipalities in Ontario must issue licenses for same-sex marriages. For more on the ruling, see: http://www.samesexmarriage.ca/
There's a bit of a wedding boom going on in Ontario right now as local people, people from other provinces (who will have problems getting their marriages recognized), and people from other countries (who will have much bigger problems) decide to tie the knot. According to our national news, "Ontario may well become the gay and lesbian Las Vegas".
((Hey, hey, go for it, but please keep the slots....))
Steve Hutton, stevehutton of rogers.com
PS on "wicked satire of sex, theater and cinema": Since I'm sure your readers are eager for more information about the world premiere of my movie, here's a link to the Philadelphia festival's program: http://www.phillyfests.com/piglff/templates/film_details.cfm?c=81&id=2078


Steve Langley (Wed, 11 Jun 2003 20:25:14 EDT)
"Finding Nemo" === a movie
Pixar has once again combined a pretty well developed story line with some very good animation. This is a delightful little movie. "Marlin" (Albert Brooks) is a clown fish with a real fear of the world. He wasn't always fearful, but one tragic day his entire life was ripped away except for one little egg. His wife wanted at least one of their babies to be named "Nemo" and so the remaining egg was "Nemo" and "Marlin" devoted himself to protecting "Nemo" from the world.
"Nemo" being a high energy kid had his own ideas. He thought his dad was a bit too timid, but he loved him anyway. Then, when "Nemo" was taking a step beyond childhood and "Marlin" was reacting very badly to it, "Nemo" was caught by a human diver who scooped the little clownfish up and took him off to live in an aquarium. "Marlin" forgot his fears and took off in pursuit.
Along the way he picked up some unlikely companions. He met Dory (Ellen DeGeneris) a Bluefish with short term memory deficit. Dory really wants to help, but she keeps forgetting what exactly she is helping do. And, you have to meet `Bruce' a shark on a twelve step program to stop eating fish.
In the meantime, "Nemo" discovers that his dad wasn't quite the timid fool he thought him to be. The world really is dangerous. "Nemo" isn't just trapped in an aquarium tank in a dentist's office, he is slated to be a birthday gift for the dentist's niece. The dentist's niece, "Darla the fish killer!". Nemo's days are numbered.
One small side note, Pixar really nailed seagulls.
Steve, Steflan of aol.com
((I've missed this one thus far, but everything I hear is wonderful, thanks, Steve.))


Steve Langley (Thu, 26 Jun 2003 20:03:36 EDT)
"The Hulk" === a movie
Ang Lee did something wonderful with "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon". ((Well, perhaps, I really didn't like it, so I came into this one with great trepidation....)) He really seemed to be trying to make more out of "The Hulk" than was really there. Back in the days when Marvel was taking off as a comic book empire, "The Hulk" was one of the lesser titles. It didn`t matter. Marvel was hot and almost anything sold. ((They even "copied" characters, as General Ross and Jonah Jameson seemed cut from precisely the same stock character mold. The movies played this out in annoying detail.)) The underlying premise, the 98 pound weakling gets picked on and turns into a powerful destroyer, has its appeal. But there was not a lot of depth to the concept. Just variations on the same story month after month. Ang Lee tried to supply some depth. He gave "Bruce Banner" (Eric Bana) a back story, some repressed memory, a mad scientist father (Nick Nolte plays the older version), and a girlfriend "Betty Ross" (Jennifer Connelly) who wants Bruce to open up and get in touch with his emotions. ((....and is a scientist in her own right, I don't recall that one from the comic. She was just General Ross' daughter there. This part had some potential that was largely wasted. And this makes twice for Ms. Connelly that she is playing a smart scientist caught in a love story. She did a much better job of it as a mathematician in "A Beautiful Mind". There were way too much goo-goo eyes here as she pleads for Bruce to open up.))
Thing is, despite all the extras, it is still a pretty limited idea. I found myself drifting off into thoughts about some of the stuff in the old comics and thinking about other movies. In short, I was not really captivated by the movie. Nice try. Some really good computer graphics, but I walked out thinking that since I hadn't really expected all that much I shouldn't feel as disappointed as I did.
Maybe if there had been more Hulk and less angst I would have liked it more.
Steve, Steflan of aol.com
((Basically, this was just a really, really bad movie. The "comic book cinematography" with overlapping comic book panels also was really annoying. I realize I'm not being coherent, but just down in your gut this movie gave me heartburn. I turned green!))


Steve Langley (Wed, 18 Jun 2003 20:56:40 EDT)
"Hollywood Homicide" === a movie
This is a very complex story. The complexity comes from the characters rather than the plot. Joe Gavilan (Harrison Ford) is a veteran homicide detective. He is also a real estate agent on the side. He is also an investor in property. He is in hock way up past his ears. K. C. Calden (Josh Hartnett) is a younger homicide detective who is also an aspiring (if fairly talent free) actor, and a yoga instructor on the side. He says that there is deep spiritual meaning in yoga, and it's a great way to meet women. ((Did you see him reading Yoga Magazine instead of TAP???)) He seems to have women lining up around the block, so there must be something in what he says. Of course it doesn't hurt that he looks like Josh Hartnett.
They are working on a gangland style killing that turns out to be related to another killing that has them stumped. The cop part of the story is pretty straight forward. The bad guys kill people and the cops dig into it until they find someone who explains it to them. Then they go after the bad guys, who apparently are not smart enough to figure out that hearsay evidence isn't enough to get them arrested much less convicted. That really doesn't matter. It's the characters who make the movie.
There is some pretty interesting action. Some of the funniest car chase scenes I've ever seen.
Entertaining movie.
Steve, Steflan of aol.com
((This is one of your reviews, Steve, that really helps me. I haven't seen this one yet, and the reviews were mostly bad, at least the ones that I heard. But it's gotta be better than "The Hulk"!!! I wish I had seen this instead, and will even though I can't reclaim the two hours that Ang Lee stole.))


Steve Langley (Tue, 17 Jun 2003 20:40:22 EDT)
"Rugrats Go Wild" === a movie
You really need to be a cartoon fan to get a lot of what is going on in the movie. It probably helps to be a young cartoon fan. I count myself as such.
There are a lot of characters in this movie. The Thornberrys alone have six members, five humans and Darwin, if you consider "Donnie Thornberry human (there is more than a single school of thought there). Compared to the "Rugrats" with eight adults and seven babies, and Spike (who thanks to Eliza's peculiar talent has a speaking role) the "Thornberrys" are in the minority. So, with twentysome characters, all who get a fair chunk of screen time, the story ought to be pretty incomprehensible. Some how it is not. There is a fair amount of chaos. That's typical of both families, but despite the many different things going on, it was all pretty easy to follow, and even made a small amount of sense.
Characters from each group were paired with their opposite or complement. "Chuckie" spent a few minutes thinking that "Donnie" was his reflection. "Eliza" and "Spike" had a conversation . Well, "Spike" who admitted that his full name was "Get down off the couch Spike!" did most of the talking. "Angelica" decided that "Debby" was her role model and mentor. "Debby" saw it as an opportunity to add to her personal slave labor force.
Very well done. I loved it.
Steve, Steflan of aol.com


Steve Langley (Sat, 7 Jun 2003 03:57:29 EDT)
"The Italian Job" === a movie
I have been sort of sitting on this for a week now. This is a caper movie. I love a caper movie. Well, I usually love a caper movie. I really liked the trailers. Oh boy, a caper movie, and full of people I like, too! Well, I'm not that impressed with Mark Wahlberg, but all the rest of the cast are good. It turned out to be a three for the price of one caper movie. Maybe two capers too many, I don't know.
There was never any real tension. The really big action was a car chase through the sewers with Mini-Coopers. Even beefed up, and making impossible jumps, they are still Mini-Coopers. We are talking cute car, not car chase thrilling car. The Mini-Cooper car chase is a metaphor for the whole movie. F. Gary Gray directed the caper film and I felt that he really didn't get the concept. Way too long on cute and not enough thrilling.
Steve, Steflan of aol.com
((Yes, it really did fall flat. Ultimately, I thought the Mini-Cooper chase was OK, not the worst part of the movie. I thought it really was hurt by losing Donald Sutherland early, who is a great, great caper actor. And it didn't help how they tried to "hang on to him" through the movie. It was just distracting and made me long for a different movie that wasn't being made here. Amazingly, Mark Wahlberg might have been the best thing in the movie. It was definitely the biggest waste of Edward Norton in the last decade. I need to go watch "American History X" again to clear my mind....))


Steve Langley (Tue, 1 Jul 2003 20:20:03 EDT)
"28 Days Later" === a movie
When I first saw the trailers for "28 Days Later" I recognized it. It was a Zombie movie. Not really something I would go out of my way to see. But my daughter voiced her intent to see it in the same sort of voice I might have used for "Harry Potter." Intrigued, I put it on my list.
This is sort of your classic Zombie thriller done with an incredible amount of class, and Danny Boyle even threw in a story. First, there are no Zombies. The Zombie roles are being filled with badly diseased people whose brains have been reduced to mindless rage. Technically they are not Zombies because they are not dead, yet. In all other ways they fill the role.
The movie starts with a break-in by some animal rights activists. They open up a top secret lab full of test animals. In freeing the animals they also unleash the virus infecting them. For lack of a better name the scientists call it "Rage." It turns anyone or thing infected into a killing machine. It is highly contagious.
28 days later, Jim wakes up from the coma he was in to discover that he is the last person on the planet. At least that's they way it seems at first.
Danny Boyle has a wonderful visual sense. He combines images in such a way to rivet you to the screen. Well, rivet me to the screen at least. Unlike `The Hulk' of the week before my mind and attention never wandered. There was not a lot of action, and the almost traditional march of the Zombies against the beleaguered group never occurred. The story was about discovering how to deal with the impossible, and about learning that humans are the only true monsters, and they do not need to be infected by a virus to make it so.
Steve, Steflan of aol.com
((Wow, I've been meaning to see this one, and now I doubly want to see it.))


Mark Lew (Sun, 29 Jun 2003 12:12:05 -0800)
Effective July 3, I will be moving out of my current residence. For a few months after that, I will have no fixed residence. However, I will be picking up mail intermittently at: P.O. Box 298, Fairfax, CA 94978.
If you're keeping a permanent address for me in your records, I recommend you use this. The post office box should be good at least through next January (ie, long enough for 1099s and W-2s).
From approximately mid-August to mid-September, I can be reached at 20446 Eagle River Road, Eagle River, AK 99577; 907-696-5539.
Email address will remain the same - markdlew of earthlink.net - though there will be times when I don't check it very often.
-
For those who haven't heard it, here's the background story:
In January, I met Karen Dunning, and over the next few months we gradually came to recognize that we want to spend the rest of our lives together. Among our many common interests is a taste for long road trips, so later this summer we'll be driving up to Alaska together, where we'll spend some time staying at my mother's house. Before that happens, I'll be singing in an opera in Mendocino Music Festival which provides housing for two weeks.
I'm scheduled to be in Mendocino from July 5 to July 20. Shortly after that we start our road trip. We have no calendar to keep to, so we'll travel as slowly as we feel like. Also undecided is how long I'll stay with Mom. (Karen might need to fly back sooner.) After that, I don't know where we'll end up. My best guess is that we'll be back in California some time around October, then we'll stay here till about January before eventually moving north to settle somewhere permanently, probably in the Seattle area.
Even after we move away, I'll probably want to return to California occasionally to visit, and perhaps to perform with one of the groups I've gotten to know well down here. If you have a house that easily accommodates a guest, I might be interested in staying with you for such a visit. Also, it's possible that I'll be looking for a temporary sublet some time around December, so let me know if you hear of anything.
For the rest of the week, I'm trying to empty this apartment of all of my belongings, and most of it is being thrown away or given away. If you're interested in free stuff, let me know. A lot of it is junk, but there's some good stuff, too. Included are:
- a Windows computer, old but working
- various small furniture
- numerous miscellaneous household items
- lots of old clothes, including some weird costume type stuff ((I wish I was closer for this....))
If you want to come by and take stuff off my hands, or if you want a more detailed list, call or email. The sooner the better; I've only got a few more days, so I'm trying to get rid of stuff as quickly as possible.
mdl, markdlew of earthlink.net
((Great, Mark, I'm especially glad I caught you on my recent trip to SF, along with Jason Bergmann, Jody McCullough, and Richard Weiss. And sorry we missed Pete Gaughan, who actually did most of the work getting us all together, but then couldn't make it himself. We had a great time one evening playing a couple of quick games and I got to hear first hand about the new changes in Mark's life. Most of the people I know like Mark make choices like Mark is about to make, even including the finding of life partners late in life. I wish him all the best on this trip and everything else. I'm hoping we'll hear some more from him that I can update you all on.))


Mike Barno (mpbarno of lightlink.com): Can we get the Homeland Security Department to prosecute the ACC for raiding the Big East?
James Wall (jewall of wiscmail.wisc.edu): Yes, just tell them they are Democrats.
((Goodbye and good riddance to Miami and Virginia Tech. In basketball we may JUST be better off if we can figure out how to keep the football schools happy!))


BOSTON MASSACRE 2003 - TOURNAMENT RESULTS
Melissa Nicholson - Tournament Director
Well... it's Sunday afternoon and I'm hanging out at the lab while Matt tidies up a few of his experiments. I must admit for the 4 or 5 hours sleep I had last night I was feeling pretty chipper as tournament director today, but as it's all over now I think I'm fading fast :-)
So what better way to pass the time than report the results to all and sundry.
There were 4 boards for Rounds 1 and 2 on Saturday, and 3 on Sunday. A pesky number of people turned up each round so a total of 8 people were asked to stand down during the tournament. Hopefully we'll have better luck in this regard next year. A big thank you to David Maletsky, Taylor Hayward, Babak Moradi, Don Woodring, Avi Pfeffer, Jim Burgess, Chris Lahey and Mike Belanger for volunteering to sit out one round each. In hindsight had I known so many people would have to stand down I might have scored the tournament as the two best games, something to think about for next year I guess. :-)
The Scoring system was Detour98F (/BostonMassacre/Scoring.html)

PLACINGS
Congratulations to Lisa Foster as the First Boston Massacre Diplomacy Champion!
*1* *2* *3* Total
1 Lisa Foster 31.58 33.93 37.29 102.80
2 Andy Marshall 43.33 10.17 35.71 89.22
3 Andy Batchelor 21.57 46.67 12.50 80.74
4 Christopher Mann 40.98 27.12 8.62 76.72
5 Rick Desper 21.57 11.11 31.03 63.71
6 Chris Campbell 22.81 12.96 22.41 58.18
7 Brian Lester 18.03 23.21 16.07 57.32
8 Kyle Kalember 16.67 10.17 25.42 52.26
9 Graham Woodring 5.88 25.00 15.52 46.40
10 Jim Burgess 13.33 DNP 30.36 43.69
11 Gregg Harry 26.32 12.96 1.79 41.06
12 Andy Bartalone 10.00 22.22 8.47 40.70
13 Jeremy Setton 16.67 1.67 18.97 37.30
14 Luke Dwyer 21.57 0.00 13.56 35.13
15 Brian Sheldon 21.57 10.17 DNP 31.74
16 Taylor Hayward DNP 23.21 DNP 23.21
17 David Maletsky DNP 22.22 DNP 22.22
18 Johnathan Hill 1.75 18.64 1.72 22.12
19 Alex Amann 1.64 18.33 1.79 21.76
20 Rod Sheldon 5.26 15.25 DNP 20.52
21 Robert Rousse 1.64 18.52 DNP 20.16
22 Mark Staloff 18.03 1.67 DNP 19.70
23 Chris Lahey 13.11 6.25 DNP 19.36
24 Carl Ellis 1.75 6.67 8.47 16.90
25 Ian Caines 10.53 1.79 DNP 12.31
26 Don Woodring 6.56 DNP 5.08 11.64
27 Bill Cook 1.96 8.47 DNP 10.44
28 James Sulzen 0.00 6.25 1.72 7.97
29 Avi Pfeffer 5.88 DNP DNP 5.88
30 Michael Belanger 0.00 5.36 DNP 5.36
31 Babak Moradi DNP 0.00 1.79 1.79
32 Jacob Addelson DNP DNP 1.69 1.69

Best Countries
Best Country Results for Austria
Name Round Board Centres Score
Andy Marshall 1 3 13 43.33
Christopher Mann 1 1 13 40.98
Taylor Hayward 2 3 9 23.21
Andy Batchelor 1 2 8 21.57
Johnathan Hill 2 2 6 18.64
Robert Rousse 2 1 6 18.52
Graham Woodring 3 2 6 15.52
Luke Dwyer 3 3 4 13.56
Ian Caines 1 4 3 10.53
Gregg Harry 3 1 0 1.79
Jeremy Setton 2 4 0 1.67
Best Country Results for England
Name Round Board Centres Score
Rick Desper 3 2 10 31.03
Christopher Mann 2 2 8 27.12
Gregg Harry 1 4 10 26.32
Graham Woodring 2 4 10 25.00
Brian Lester 2 3 9 23.21
David Maletsky 2 1 7 22.22
Brian Sheldon 1 2 8 21.57
Jim Burgess 1 3 5 13.33
Chris Lahey 1 1 5 13.11
Carl Ellis 3 3 3 8.47
Babak Moradi 3 1 0 1.79
Best Country Results for France
Name Round Board Centres Score
Lisa Foster 1 4 11 31.58
Mark Staloff 1 1 7 18.03
Kyle Kalember 1 3 6 16.67
Gregg Harry 2 1 5 12.96
James Sulzen/Chris L 2 3 4 12.50
Andy Marshall 2 2 4 10.17
Carl Ellis 2 4 1 6.67
Graham Woodring 1 2 1 5.88
Don Woodring 3 3 1 5.08
Alex Amann 3 1 0 1.79
Johnathan Hill 3 2 0 1.72
Best Country Results for Germany
Name Round Board Centres Score
Lisa Foster 3 3 13 37.29
Andy Marshall 3 1 13 35.71
Chris Campbell 3 2 8 22.41
Andy Bartalone 2 1 7 22.22
Rick Desper 1 2 8 21.57
Kyle Kalember 2 2 4 10.17
Don Woodring 1 1 2 6.56
Ian Caines 2 3 0 1.79
Johnathan Hill 1 4 0 1.75
James Sulzen 1 3 0 0.00
Babak Moradi 2 4 0 0.00
Best Country Results for Italy
Name Round Board Centres Score
Alex Amann 2 4 7 18.33
Jeremy Setton 1 3 6 16.67
Chris Campbell 2 1 5 12.96
Andy Batchelor 3 1 4 12.50
Christopher Mann 3 2 3 8.62
Bill Cook 2 2 3 8.47
Andy Bartalone 3 3 3 8.47
Avi Pfeffer 1 2 1 5.88
Michael Belanger 2 3 1 5.36
Rod Sheldon 1 4 1 5.26
Robert Rousse 1 1 0 1.64
Best Country Results for Russia
Name Round Board Centres Score
Andy Batchelor 2 4 16 46.67
Lisa Foster 2 3 11 33.93
Jim Burgess 3 1 12 30.36
Luke Dwyer 1 2 8 21.57
Jeremy Setton 3 2 7 18.97
Brian Lester 1 1 7 18.03
Rod Sheldon 2 2 5 15.25
Rick Desper 2 1 4 11.11
Andy Bartalone 1 3 4 10.00
Carl Ellis 1 4 0 1.75
Jacob Addelson 3 3 0 1.69
Best Country Results for Turkey
Name Round Board Centres Score
Kyle Kalember 3 3 10 25.42
Chris Campbell 1 4 9 22.81
Brian Lester 3 1 5 16.07
Brian Sheldon 2 2 4 10.17
Bill Cook 1 2 0 1.96
James Sulzen 3 2 0 1.72
Mark Staloff 2 4 0 1.67
Alex Amann 1 1 0 1.64
Michael Belanger 1 3 0 0.00
Chris Lahey 2 1 0 0.00
Luke Dwyer 2 3 0 0.00

Best Novice went to Kyle Kalember who finished 8th in the tournament. Kyle has been playing for only 1 month.

Spot Prizes:
Fastest Elimination : Luke Dwyer 1903 as Turkey
Most centers lost in one turn - tie between: Carl Ellis, James Sulzen and Luke Dwyer (all lost 4 centers in one year)
Most interesting opening: Andy Batchelor; S1901: F Sev - Bla (succeeded), A War - Gal (succeeded), A Mos - Stp, F Stp(sc) - Gob (Germany opened to Holland rather than Denmark). F1901: F Bla - Rum, A Gal - Sil, A Stp - Gob - Swe, F Gob c Stp - Swe; Andy went on to get 16sc.
((This was a whole lot of fun. Detour has quickly (instantaneously) become my favorite tournament scoring system, WAY better than ARMADA, better then Yerkey 29 centers, better than C-Diplo, and EVEN better than ManorCon which has been my favorite scoring system to date. As Mel notes, I sat out Round 2 by choice. I coulda been a real contendah if I had played all three rounds..... I didn't think it was great though just because I did well. It really was the best non-play distorting system I've played under in many year. In both my games, I just "played the game", even though I tried to pay attention to the scoring system. We had time limits, but they only came into play for one game in each round, I think. And even in those games it didn't distort things much. On the next page, Larry Peery asks an evaluation question and here's my evaluation of the Boston Massacre by that system. See if it helps you respond to him (seems a bit sterile to me....):
1) Provincial/State, though we did have a horde of non-NEers and Pitkissers;
2) Boston Massacre, MIT Campus, Boston, Massachusetts, June 20-21 (Summer Solstice), 2003, Mel "Pox" Nicholson - Tournament Director and Host, 32 participants.
3) See the MADip-L Yahoogroup for FULL details.
4) A N/A; B 4; C 4 1-4 (deal at the Hostel was great!) 2-3 3-4 4-5; D 4 1-4 2-5 3-4; E 5; F 4; G 5; H 5 1-5 2-5 3-5 4-5 5-5 6-5@ (lots of great "extras") 7-5@ (the "lobsters" were gorgeous and unique!); I 5 (special note to the "learners" event two weeks before the main event where we taught people how to play!); J N/A; K 5 (especially for a first time event) 1-5 (hey, look how many people we had!) 2-4 3-N/A; L N/A; M 5@ (these results above - and I cut some - and the discussion on MADip-L was great. We had loads of fun going over everything afterward!); N 1-5 2-5 3-4 (I'll bet we get internationals coming next year with more notice!); O 5 (Mel hit the Budget ON THE BUTTON, and it was a cheap con!).
You ALL must come next year, or else!!! I didn't make the Friday night before barbeque, but heard it was fantastic. Some people drank too much, but I cleaned their clocks on the table despite making the hour round trip back home to Providence twice. I've got way too much room here on this page..... so let me find some other of my post con bonmots....
On the Scoring System: I did look at the other tournaments run under Detour that Mel noted. I'd looked at them before, but not recently. It reminded me that Mel once pulled a Maletsky/Hayward/Burgess/Babak/ etc. and sat out a game in one of these tournaments. Also, Turkey and Italy generally did better in these tournaments than they did here at the Massacre. I was seriously disappointed by the Italian play I saw in the tournament, but Turkey was just a "small sample" problem, I think. And none of this had ANYTHING to do with detour. In my view, again. I actually rank my favorite countries somewhere nearer to the reverse of this ranking. I did better as Russia in this tournament than I almost ever do, and even though the result wasn't great I was pleased with my England play as well. But I would have liked to play Italy or France..... average score in Massacre, Country.... 19.4 England; 19.030 Russia; 19.029 Austria; 14.5 Germany; 11.2 France; 9.5 Italy; 7.4 Turkey. Ahhh, but it's all in who the players are anyway.
On ME (it's all about ME....): I was really interested to hear through the grapevine how much "get Jim-Bob, watch out for Jim-Bob" talk was going on in my games. I'm truly touched that you were that worried about someone with as poor a tournament record as I have. Perhaps I play better as a target???? Anyway, best tournament result for me since the early 80's and late 70's when I was much, much more successful.
Photos: http://photos.groups.yahoo.com/group/MADip-L/lst
Profit: Mel made a profit of just precisely $3.60..... I said: Buy yourself a WELL deserved beer with the 3.60!!! Congratulations and thank you. We all had an incredibly good time.
That's enough for now, I think I've mostly filled this last page. Peery follows on the next two pages. I noted that he didn't supply his E-Mail address on the pages. You can connect with Peeriblah Central at peery of ix.netcom.com, remember, take out my connector and replace with the @ sign. I do think he is comprehensive in these ratings and that if you fill this out with more verbiage than I did above, you would get a more interesting response. Then again, perhaps Larry wants statistics. I think we're still below the level where Ministers of Tourism have a serious interest in us, but not FAR below that. The hobby is amazingly international right now. Join up and travel to a Con, somewhere, now!!!))
THE ABYSSINIAN PRINCE GAMES SECTION
"So I called up George and he called up Jim, I said let's make a deal.
He said he'd talk to him. Gonna start a church where you can save yourself,
You can make some noise, When you've got no choice...
You told me useful things, what people think of me, I guess I should thank you.
It's true, then I agree... I'm all alone, I've got no choice,
I'm all alone, I've got no choice."
From "Got No Choice" by the incomparable Mark Cutler, from the CD Mark Cutler and Useful Things.
If you want to submit orders, press, or letters by E-Mail, you can find me through the Internet system at "burgess of world.std.com". If anyone has an interest in having an E-Mail address listed so people can negotiate with you by computer, just let me know. FAX orders to (401) 277-9904 if you let me know in advance to be sure the fax machine is set up.
I am continuing to note cut or failed support orders with a small "s" instead of a capital "S". This will make it easier on the E-Mailed version of the szine to see what happened, since the italics don't show there. The italics DO show on the web page just fine.
Standby lists:
Mike Barno, Dick Martin, Brad Wilson, Jack McHugh, Glenn Petroski, Steve Emmert, Mark Kinney, Vince Lutterbie, Eric Brosius, Paul Rauterberg, Bob Osuch, Doug Kent, Sean O'Donnell, Kevin Wilson, Heath Gardner, Phil Reynolds, Paul Kenny, and Dan Gorham stand by for regular Diplomacy.
Brad Wilson and Jack McHugh stand by for the Modern Diplomacy game.
Let me know if you want on or off these lists, especially OFF. Standbies get the szine for free and receive my personal thanks.


GAME OPENING INFORMATION
We've got lots of openings in the subszines, check them out!!! Especially, contact Rip Gooch for Railway Rivals as the following maps are available. Following each in parenthesis is the suggested number of players: Isle of Wight (3 or 4); Netherlands (3 or 4); Northern Italy Map P (4 to 8); Spain Map SP (4 to 7); China Mk. I (6 to 8); Austria (3 or 4); Belgium and Luxembourg (3 or 4); Southern Italy Map Q (4); South Sweden Map SWE (3 or 4); Switzerland (3 or 4). See Rip's subszine elsewhere in most issues of TAP. Come on, help me out!!! Contact Rip Gooch directly at xyropedes of canada.com.
I also am starting a game of the variant I designed, Spy Diplomacy. Signups for that are now open. I'll publish the rules shortly.
I'll also open another regular Diplomacy game, it's been too long since I've started one. You can sign up NOW!
You also can sign up for the next Breaking Away game, which is starting now. Tom Howell currently is signed up, knock off the superstar, come on, you can do it!! So far, Eric Brosius and David Partridge want to challenge Tom.
John Harrington is offering to guest GM a game of Office Politics. Any interest in that?? Let me or John know! Jody McCullough is still interested, anyone else?
Harold Reynolds has started the game of Colonia (see elsewhere in this issue) and is interested in guest-GMing a game of Aberration. Sean O'Donnell and Brendan Whyte are interested in Aberration. Brendan needs rules from Harold Reynolds.
Also, I am going to design some postal rules for Devil Take the Hindmost, and Chris Lockheardt is pulling out of that opening too, so I need three players. Eoghan Barry is signed up. Postal rules from me will be forthcoming shortly, on my never ending to-do list. I will get them in SOON! I'm more likely to get these things started if I see some interest..... Eoghan is getting tired of waiting....
Right now, the other thing I am contemplating getting going is the Modern Diplomacy game with Wings. Sean O'Donnell, Rick Desper, Alexander Woo, Dave Partridge, Eric Ozog, and Kurt Ozog are signed up for that.
Stephen Agar runs a British Diplomacy mailing list at: http://www.diplomacy.co.uk
and if you are interested, contact Stephen Agar at stephen of meurglys.com or join the Brit hobby mailing list at (aw, you guessed it, another new address): http://www.diplomacy-archive.com/


I CAN'T FIND MY MONEY!: 2001F, Regular Diplomacy
THE DUE DATE FOR AUTUMN AND WINTER 1905 IS JULY 19TH, 2003
THE DUE DATE FOR SPRING 1906 IS AUGUST 9TH, 2003
Fall 1905
AUSTRIA (Lockheardt): a boh-GAL, a TRI-bud, a TYO-vie, a MOS s a war, a gre-SER,
a RUM-bud, a WAR S a boh-gal, f alb-GRE.
ENGLAND (Heikkinen): NMR, MARK KINNEY CALLED AS REPLACEMENT; f ENG h, f NTH h,
f pic h (d r:bel,otb).
FRANCE (Kent): a bur-PIC, a BRE S a bur-pic, f GAS S a bre, f MID-eng.
GERMANY (Wilson): a MUN S a bel-bur, f bal-SWE, a RUH S a mun, a bel-BUR.
ITALY (Gardner): a VEN h, f ION S f aeg, f AEG S f ion, a APU S a ven.
RUSSIA (Desper): a LVN-mos, a STP S a lvn-mos, a gal-vie (d r:ukr,sil,otb).
TURKEY (Miller): a ARM S a sev, a CON S f bul(sc), f BUL(SC) S AUSTRIAN f alb-gre,
a SEV S AUSTRIAN a mos.


Supply Center Chart
AUSTRIA (Lockheardt): TRI,BUD,VIE,ser,gre,rum, (has 8, even)
war,mos
ENGLAND (Kinney): LON,LVP,EDI,nwy,bel? (has 2 or 3, bld 2(either retreat))
FRANCE (Kent): PAR,MAR,spa,por,BRE (has 4, bld 1)
GERMANY (Wilson): KIE,BER,hol,den,bel?,MUN,swe (has 4, bld 2(PLAYS ONE SHORT if E r:otb)
ITALY (Gardner): ROM,VEN,NAP,tun (has 4, even)
RUSSIA (Desper): STP (has 2 or 3, rem 1(r:otb) or 2)
TURKEY (Miller): ANK,SMY,CON,sev,bul (has 4, bld 1)
Neutral: none (Total=34)


Addresses of the Participants
AUSTRIA: Chris Lockheardt, 54 Butler Avenue, Maynard, MA 01754, +1 978-897-1547
clockheardt of yahoo.com
ENGLAND: Was Allan Heikkinen, c/o S.HELEY, 7 / 77 Phillip Street, Waterloo, NSW 2017, AUSTRALIA
aheikkinen2003 of yahoo.com.au
ENGLAND: Replacement is Mark Kinney, Apt. #6, 4820 Westmar Terrace, Louisville, KY 40222
(Mark, remind me and everyone else what your E-Mail address is....)
FRANCE: Doug Kent, 1404 E. Lamar Blvd #106, Arlington, TX 76011
dipworld of ix.netcom.com
GERMANY: Kevin Wilson, 373 Gateford Drive, Ballwin, MO 63021
ckevinw of aol.com
ITALY: Heath Gardner, 3017 Mayview Road, Raleigh, NC 27607, (919) 834-4832
hdgardne of uncg.edu
RUSSIA: Rick Desper, 5440 Marinelli Road, #204, Rockville, MD 20852
(301) 977-7691, rick_desper of yahoo.com
TURKEY: Tim Miller, 5454 South Shore Drive, Apt. 222, Chicago, IL 60615, +1 773-834-4597
btmiller of uchicago.edu
GM: Jim-Bob Burgess, 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327, +1 401-351-0287
burgess of world.std.com


Game Notes:
1) The extremely earnest EFGIRT draw is rejected. A concession to Italy is now proposed equally earnestly. Please vote on this proposal with your Winter orders. If you fail to vote, it just might pass, but probably won't because failure to vote vetoes draws around here. I do have more than one vote in hand for this proposal, so it is NO joke.
2) Allan Heikkinen NMR's and disappears. It is probably about time to go public with my suspicions that Allan was being "played" by Jim Sayers and thus this disappearance is not a coincidence. I did do quite a bit of research trying to prove this, but there really is an Allan Heikkinen living in this area, he's a retired teacher. It's possible that Allan is just a close friend of Jim's, but the c/o postal address that Allan was using (reproduced for the last time above) always made me nervous. I had Internet pros try to help me prove that the E-Mails I was getting from Jim and Allan were done on the same computer, but the E-Mail clients they were using did not allow for this test. It all was done very professionally (including the fact that I always received orders from Jim and Allan on different days with different VERY strict order writing formats). I salute the process even if in the end I deplore the acts. I wish we knew the truth, but unlike my exposure of Harry Andruschak's little deception, I can't travel all the way to Australia to prove it in person. If anyone reading this knows more than what I know, I'd appreciate hearing it. I presume that Jim/Allan have resigned all their positions in their various games and would be interested to know if that is NOT true anywhere that I'm not paying attention. I hope that this disruption is over and that this game can go on. I wish I could have done more, sooner, but I tried. At least you guys get to meet a lot of my standbys. Here we have Mark Kinney. Thanks, Mark!!


Press:
(SULTAN SILENT to BOARD): AIIIEEE work work work, wedding reception, sorry folks....
(BOOB to SULTAN): You've got wedding receptions, others have birthdays....
(HEATH - EVERYONE): My 20th birthday is coming up. I can't think of a better birthday gift than a concession to Italy in this game. Either that or a stripper and a 6-pack, or a new Playstation 2 game. Or the equivalent of a couple months rent. Or an ally.
(JUDGE LORD TO JIM-BOB (THE POSTAL PRINCE)): You know, no matter how long the deadlines, this never works.
(BOOB to JUDGE LORD): One gets that sense.... I'm hoping that since we're finally purged of the Sayers Mafia that this might turn around.
(SULTAN TO ERNIE GRUNFELD): Dammit ... I've endured sucky Wizards for years now "make them better* (and stop attacking Russia).
(BOOB to ERNIE GRUNFELD): Ahahahaha, you've just been the next guy to replace Michael Jordan, this time as President of Basketball Operations for those "sucky" Wizards. Now see what you think of Germany....


SOMETHING TO BE SCARED OF: 2001D, Regular Diplomacy
THE DUE DATE FOR SUMMER 1907 IS JULY 19TH, 2003
THE DUE DATE FOR FALL 1907 IS AUGUST 9TH, 2003
Spring 1907
ENGLAND (Sundstrom): f nwy-STP(NC), f NTH S FRENCH f lon-eng, f SKA-swe,
f BAR S f nwy-stp(nc), f iri-NAO.
FRANCE (Tretick): a BUR-mar, a bel-PIC, f lon-ENG, a GAS-spa.
GERMANY (Williams): a kie-DEN, a ber-MUN, a mun-RUH.
ITALY (McCullough): RESIGNS, MIKE BARNO IS CALLED AS REPLACEMENT; f NAP h, a VEN h,
f GOL h, a MAR h, a VIE h, f SPA(SC) h, f MID h, a TRI h, f POR h.
RUSSIA (McHugh): NMR, BRAD WILSON IS CALLED AS STANDBY; f stp(nc) h (d ann), a FIN h,
a WAR h, f SWE h, a BOH h.
TURKEY (O'Donnell): a con-BUL, f ion-TYH, a BUD h, a SER S a bud, f WES-mid, a sil-PRU,
f sev-BLA, a gal-UKR.


Addresses of the Participants
AUSTRIA: Doug Kent, 1404 E. Lamar Blvd #106, Arlington, TX 76011
dipworld of ix.netcom.com
ENGLAND: Matt Sundstrom, 1760 Robincrest Lane South, Glenview, IL 60025, (847) 729-1882 ($5)
Matt.Sundstrom of bbdoch.com or mattandzoe of earthlink.net
FRANCE: James Alan (Jim) Tretick, 1383 Canterbury Way Potomac, MD 20854, (301) 279-0803 ($4)
JTretickGames of aol.com
GERMANY: Don Williams, 27505 Artine Drive, Saugus, CA 91350, (661) 297-3947 ($3)
wllmsfmly of earthlink.net
ITALY: Replacement is Mike Barno, 634 Dawson Hill Road, Spencer, NY 14883
mpbarno of lightlink.com
RUSSIA: Jack McHugh, P.O. Box 427, Claymont, DE 19703, (302) 792-1998
flapjack of comcast.net or Xatsmann of comcast.net
RUSSIA: Standby is Brad Wilson, PMB-181, 634 York Road, Warminster, PA 18974
Brad, remind me and everyone else of your E-Mail address please?
TURKEY: Sean O'Donnell, 1044 Wellfleet Drive, Grafton, OH 44044, (440) 926-0230
sean_o_donnell of hotmail.com or seanfodonnell of yahoo.com


Game Notes:
1) Jody has a job change (good he says) that makes him unable to play at the moment and regretfully resigns. Jack is just being Jack again, I hope he returns. Remember, Jack, that you need to get back to me by the SUMMER deadline to keep the position. Calling Brad as a standby for you should be the appropriate spur to return to action.


Press:
(RIP VON DUCK to EUROPE): Huh? Wow! I've been asleep for HOW many years?
(GERMANY to FRANCE): Let's forego these stupid trenchs and find something to shoot at. Something that ain't us.
(GERMANY to RUSSIA): You have been a pretty good family as you sit in my country year after year ... I consider you brother rather than ally because you can pick your ally ...
(GERMANY to ITALY): Grin and bear it ... in about three decades, we two are going to kick some very serious ass. (Well, I am ... you're sort of going to go along for the ride; while I blitz the continent, you'll putter around in North Africa for a few years before getting your pasta-addled self invaded. Still, a good time will be had by all.
(IRON DUCK to BOOB): Must I do all the witty writing around here? BTW, finally went out and bought a Mekons CD. Fear and Whiskey. Good music, but not something I could ever dance to.
(BOOB to IRON DUCK): Wow, way to go...... it is hard to be human again, isn't it? And you can't dance to that? Must need a dingy old bar....


FANTASTIC VOYAGE: 1999K, Regular Diplomacy
THE DUE DATE FOR SUMMER 1912 IS JULY 19TH, 2003
THE DUE DATE FOR FALL 1912 IS AUGUST 9TH, 2003
Spring 1912
AUSTRIA (Rauterberg): a tri-VEN, a ven-APU, a ROM S a ven-apu.
ENGLAND (Biehl): f EDI s GERMAN f cly-nwg, f LVP-cly.
GERMANY (Osuch): f kie-BAL, a mun-SIL, a BER S a mun-sil, f ska-SWE, a DEN S f ska-swe,
a MAR-spa, a BOH S a mun-sil, a gal-bud (d r:vie,otb), a bel-HOL, CLY-nwg,
a bre-PIC, a POR-spa.
RUSSIA (Tretick): f stp(nc)-NWY, a pru-LVN, f NTH-edi, a lon-YOR, a WAR S TURKISH a ukr-gal,
f NWG s f stp(nc)-nwy, a nwy-FIN.
TURKEY (Lutterbie): a ank-CON, f con-AEG, f BLA-rum, a ukr-GAL, f tyh-GOL,
a ALB S a bud-tri, f MID-por, a bud-TRI, a RUM-bud, f NAP h.


Addresses of the Participants
AUSTRIA: Paul Rauterberg, 3116 W. American Dr., Greenfield, WI 53221, (414) 281-2339 (E-Mail)
trauterberg of wi.rr.com
ENGLAND: John Biehl, #8 - 11530 84th Avenue, Delta, BRITISH COLUMBIA, V4C 2M1 CANADA,
(604) 591-1832 ($7); jrb of dccnet.com
FRANCE: Rick Davis, 2420 West Avenue, Santa Rosa, CA 95407, (707) 544-5201,
redavis914 of aol.com
GERMANY: Bob Osuch, 19137 Midland Avenue, Mokena, IL 60448, (708) 478-3885
ROsuch4082 of aol.com
ITALY: Terry Tallman, PO Box 782, Clinton, WA 98236, (360) 710 9613, cell (360) 710-9613 ($2)
terryt of whidbey.net
RUSSIA: Buddy Tretick, 9607 Conaty Circle, Spotsylvania, VA 22553, (540) 582-2356 (E-Mail)
batretick of earthlink.net
TURKEY: Vince Lutterbie, 1021 Stonehaven, Marshall, MO 65340-2837
melvin of cdsinet.net


Game Notes:
1) An RT draw is proposed. Please vote with your summer orders. Failure to vote will veto the draw.


Press:


(Sometimes I Feel Like) FLETCHER CHRISTIAN: 1999Cgh013, Colonia VIIb Diplomacy


Game Notes:
1) The Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) proposed draw passed and I still didn't have a chance to do the final Endgame chart. You have until then to do Endgame statements.
2) Harold Reynolds has done a lot of work with the maps and is guest GMing a new game of Colonia (see elsewhere in this issue).


Press:


SECRETS: 1999D, Regular Diplomacy
THE DUE DATE FOR SPRING 1914 IS JULY 19TH, 2003
Winter 1913
ENGLAND (Brosius): has f LON, a GAS, f NAO, a KIE, f MID, f ENG, f HOL, f POR.
FRANCE (Sasseville): has f MAR, f SPA(SC), a MUN, a BUR.
GERMANY (Barno): has a SER.
RUSSIA (Reynolds): has a MOS, a LVN, a BER, f BAL, a STP, a PRU.
TURKEY (Linsey): bld a con; has a CON, f TRI, a UKR, a WAR, f WES,
a SEV, f GOL, a SIL, a VIE, f NAF, f TYH,
a TYO, f PIE, a BUD, a BOH.


Addresses of the Participants
ENGLAND: Standby is Eric Brosius, 53 Bird Street, Needham, MA 02492
72060.1540 of compuserve.com
FRANCE: Roland Sasseville, Jr., 38 Bucklin Street, Pawtucket, RI 02861, (401) 481-4280 ($0)
roland6 of cox.net and ICQ: 40565030
GERMANY: Mike Barno, 634 Dawson Hill Road, Spencer, NY 14883
mpbarno of lightlink.com
RUSSIA: Phil Reynolds, 2896 Oak Street, Sarasota, FL 34237, (813) 953-6952
preyno of yahoo.com
TURKEY: Bruce Linsey, PO Box 234, Kinderhook, NY 12106
GonzoHQ of aol.com


Game Notes:
1) The FREGT draw is rejected and then reproposed. I had no complaint, so I've granted a request that we go back to where we were on the voting, which was this: (1) Some of you have "perpetual draw votes on this proposal on file", those are still in force; (2) Some of you do not and have been voting every season, for you if you FAIL to vote it counts as a yes vote for the proposal.


Press:


EDWARD TELLER: 2002?rn42, Nuclear Yuppie Evil Empire Diplomacy - Black Hole Variant
THE DUE DATE FOR SUMMER 1905 IS JULY 19TH, 2002
THE DUE DATE FOR FALL 1905 IS AUGUST 9TH, 2002
Spring 1905
AUSTRIA (Andruschak): a VIE h, a BUD h, f TRI h; and 5 nukes in their silos.
ENGLAND (Kendter): f lon-ENG, f edi-NTH, a lvp-EDI; and
nukes The whole frelling game, STP, BRE, KIE, MID.
FRANCE (McHugh): f Bre h (ann), a PAR h, a MAR h; and 5 nukes in their silos.
GERMANY (Kenny): f Kie h (ann), a BER h, a MUN h; and 5 nukes in their silos.
ITALY (Schultz): f NAP h, a VEN h, a ROM h; and 5 nukes in their silos.
RUSSIA (Rauterberg): f stp(sc)-FIN, a war-Gal (ann), a mos-SEV, f sev-RUM; and
nukes BUL, GRE, ARM, SER(2).
TURKEY (Muller): f ank-Arm (ann), a con-Bul (ann), a smy-CON; and
nukes BLA, GAL, MOS, ION, SER(2).


Current Standings
01 02 03 04 05 06 07 TOTAL
JOHN SCHULTZ  3  3  3  3           12
PAUL RAUTERBERG  6  1  6  3           16
KARL MULLER  2  3  3  4           12
HARRY ANDRUSCHAK  4  5  0  3           12
LEE KENDTER, JR.  1  6  2  4           13
JACK MCHUGH  5  0  3  3           11
SANDY KENNY  3  1  3  3           10
Black Holed  8 14  7  1  7        30
Neutral  2  1  7 10           20
Totals(eventually) 34 34 34 34 34 34 34 238
Times GM Nuked  0  1  1  0  0      2
Whole Frelling Game  0  0  1  0  1      1


Addresses of the Participants
John Schultz plays on in our memories....
Paul Rauterberg, 3116 W. American Dr., Greenfield, WI 53221, (414) 281-2339
trauterberg of wi.rr.com
Karl Muller, 3154 East Lydius Street, Schenectady, NY 12303-5035
karlmuller of alumni.lemoyne.edu or pegandkarl of mindspring.com
Harry Andruschak, 734 West 214th Street, Apartment 12-A Torrance, CA 90502-1907
(310) 533-8945, harryandruschak of aol.com
Lee Kendter, Jr., 1503 Pilgrim Lane, Quakertown, PA 18951
lkendter of speakeasy.net
Jack McHugh, P.O. Box 427, Claymont, DE 19703, (302) 792-1998
flapjack of comcast.net
Sandy Kenny, 23 East Coulter Avenue, Collingswood, NJ 08108-1208 (609) 869-3160
KennyShire of aol.com or possibly sakenny of net-gate.com


Game Notes:
1) A couple of adjudication notes.... when you guys nuke the same province more than once, I put in parentheses the number of nukes that hit that spot. Also, if your move to a space succeeds and THEN you are annihilated, I capitalize the first letter of that space where you are annihilated. The reverse happens if your move bounces where I capitalize the first letter of the place you started.
2) The rules I have been using for this game have been that there are no replacements or standbies. Nukes for the positions John has will remain unfired in their silos. None of his units will move or support anything. They can be attacked and dislodged and his centers can be nuked. John could win the game this way, conceivably, but likely would not. But you never know, given how extreme the yuppiedom part of the game has gone.


Press:
(ENGLAND to WORLD): OK, I have been too yuppie like yet again. I guess I should remember how to write somebody, but I barely got moves in on time. I am just beating up everyone.
(TURKEY - RUSSIA): Nothing personal, but you ARE in the lead.




FEAR AND WHISKEY: 1998Ers31, Modern Diplomacy
THE DUE DATE FOR SPRING 2012 IS JULY 19TH, 2003
Winter 2011
BRITAIN (K. Ozog): R f bal-GOB; has a SWE, f LON, a EDI, f NWG,
f BHM, a NOR, f NAO, f GOB.
EGYPT (J. O'Donnell): R f eme-ISR; rem f ven; has f CAI, f LBS, f ISR,
f APU, a SYR, a LIB, a IRK.
GERMANY (Rauterberg): rem a sil, a cze, a aus; has a BER, a MUN, f PRU, f HOL,
f BAL, f BRI, a MIL, a PAR, f NTH, a SWI, f BEL, a ROM.
SPAIN (S. O'Donnell): bld a bar, a mad, f sve; has a BAR, a MAD, f SVE, f MOR, f TUN,
a BOR, a AUV, a LYO, f ENG, a NAP, f ION, a PIE.
UKRAINE (Partridge): bld a kie; has a KIE, f IST, a ANK, a GRE, a BOS, a GOR,
a MOS, a STP, a WAR, a BIE, f EME, f ANA, a URA, a KRA, a GDA, f ALB, a ADA,
a KAZ, a HUN, a LAT, f AEG, a LIT, f ADR, a IRN, a CRO.


Addresses of the Participants
BRITAIN: Kurt Ozog, 391 Wilmington Drive, Bartlett, IL 60103, (630) 837-2813
heyday6 of yahoo.com
EGYPT: Jeff O'Donnell, 402 Middle Ave., Elyria, OH 44035-5728, (440) 322-2920
or (440) 225-9203 (cell) ($2)
FRANCE: Harry Andruschak ($5) Tapmdfrance of aol.com
GERMANY: Paul Rauterberg, 3116 W. American Dr., Greenfield, WI 53221, (414) 281-2339 (E-Mail)
trauterberg of wi.rr.com
ITALY: Eric Ozog, PO Box 1138, Granite Falls, WA 98252-1138, (360) 691-4264 ($3)
ElfEric of Juno.com
POLAND: Roland Sasseville, Jr., 38 Bucklin Street, Pawtucket, RI 02861, (401) 481-4280 ($5)
roland6 of home.com and ICQ: 40565030
RUSSIA: Randy Ellis
SPAIN: Sean O'Donnell, 1044 Wellfleet Drive, Grafton, OH 44044, (440) 926-0230 ($3)
sean_o_donnell of hotmail.com or seanfodonnell of yahoo.com
TURKEY: Kent Pollard, 1541 W. San Jose, Fresno, CA 93711, (209) 225-0957 ($10)
UKRAINE: Dave Partridge, 15 Woodland Drive, Brookline, NH 03033 ($8)
rebhuhn of rocketmail.com


Game Notes:
1) I'm going to start a quiet interest list down here in the next Modern game. I don't want to start it until this game is done or nearly done, but with ten players it may take awhile, so I'll start now. Rick Desper, Sean O'Donnell, Dave Partridge, Alexander Woo, Eric Ozog and Kurt Ozog are in to be six of the players. Any more??? We are going to do it with "wings".
2) Yes, I did put the wrong month for that Spring deadline, that should be July, not June. It's corrected above, and like all the games in the szine with an additional week added.
3) There is a proposal for a concession to Ukraine. Please vote with your spring orders. Failure to vote vetoes the proposal.


Press:
(THE MEKONS QUOTE OF THE MONTH): "History has a stutter and it says..... wwwwwwwatch out!!!" I can't precisely recall which song that one is from, but it has a good X-Files feel to it....
(KURT - JIM): How about we start using X-Files episode titles for Dip games instead of the Mekons. Would that constitute a blasphemy?
(BOOB to THE KURT OF THE OZOG'S): Basically, yes..... I've not nearly run out of Mekons songs for game titles. I do have another regular Diplomacy game opening coming up, what would you suggest?
(PRIOR TO THE BATTLE, A CONVERSATION BETWEEN SPOCK AND KIRK ON THE BRIDGE OF THE ENTERPRISE):
Spock - Captain, I'm receiving a very unusual distress signal emanating from Klingon space!
((I didn't know that Spock said ANYTHING with an exclamation point!!))
Kirk - Unusual! In what way?
Spock - The signal is barely audible and it's being carried on a hardly noticable Borg trans warp frequency.
Kirk - Is 7 of 9 still on Commander Worf's ship?
Spock - Yes, Captain! She is still the Federation tactical liaison to Commander Worf and the Klingon Empire.
Kirk - Can you read the message?
Spock - It's encrypted and the frequency is so low that I may miss a few words. I doubt that the Klingons are even aware of the transmission. I'll have a translation for you right away. Here it comes... imminent danger... a partial scan of Worf's DNA reveals an anti-proton signature... am attempting escape! 7 out!
Kirk - Anti-proton signature! That can only mean that....
Spock - Worf is in reality the evil Commander Worf from the parallel universe!
Kirk - I really hate those guys! You know, Spock, even in the parallel universe the Klingons hate the Romulans and the Bajorans. There's no way that Worf, even the evil Worf, would join the Romulans!
Spock - It would, how you humans say "really suck for us!" if they did!
Lt. Uhura - Captain, I'm getting distress calls from Deep Space 6, Deep Space 7, and the Federation Starship Excelsior, deep inside Federation space. THe Klingons are invading the Federation!
Kirk, completely stunned, looked at Lt. Uhura and with visible fear in his eyes asked: "You're not going to sing are you?"
Lt. Uhura - No, Captain!
Kirk - Boy, that's a relief! For a second there, I thought this was "serious"....
((And for a second there I was going to jump in and exclaim, "Kirk and visible fear? Never, Never!!!" But then it was all OK, we've all heard Uhura sing, and she DID kiss Captain Kirk that once....))
(SPAIN-EGYPT): Well, you know how long I've been waiting to find an opportunity to do that??
(BOOB to SPAIN): I suspect so, but now what happens?
(BRITAIN): Runaway...! Runaway...!
(BOOB BEATS): Get me down....
(UNCLE JEFFY POOH to SEAN): I can't believe you attacked me! Me of all people! After all we've been through together! The job at Eric's and Bob Evans! The Indians game, the work for cash under the Indians game, the work for cash under the table, the cutlass, the endless hours of teaching you to play Stratego and Diplomacy! I am very sad that it has come to this! I take this very personal as a disappointment, but more importantly than that I think it is important for me to say.... Nice Back Stab! I'm proud of you!
(SPAIN-GERMANY): I hope you like the three front war.
(BOOB to SPAIN): That presumes that he fights on three fronts.
(KURT - PAUL): Nothing personal Paul. Call me a cop-out schweinhund for my actions if you will, but it makes no sense to think Ukraine would abide by a 5-way draw at this stage of the war. It's not about revenge for my fallen comrade brother in Italy. Cheers.
(THE DAY AFTER, CAPTAIN'S LOG): The apparent fall of the Federation is at hand. The Klingons have allied with the Bajorans and the Romulans, and are invading Cardassia from three sides and the Federation from 2. The Klingons have taken Deep Space 6 and never left Deep Space 5 as promised. The Romulans have a starship in Federation space within striking distance of Vulcan, Pluto Station, and Mars. The Romulans screwed up and let us keep Deep Space 8 in Ferengi space but this is a temporary victory. We can't hold it. What's worse than all of that is 7 of 9 is missing behind Klingon lines. I can handle the loss fo the Enterprise, and even the fall of the Federation, but losing 7 of 9 to the Klingons would be a "real disaster".
(UNCLE JEFFY-NEPHEW SEAN): You dog!
(GERMANY-SPAIN): You'll pay dearly for that.
(JEFF to WORLD): It had been suggested by someone about six months ago that it should be against the rules for relatives to play together in the same game. Hindsight being a wonderful thing, I now agree. We should not allow our relatives to play together. You just can't trust them.
(GERMANY-EGYPT): I thought you told me you under your nephew under wraps.
(BOOB to "GERMANY"): Huh?
(BOOB to WORLD): Sorry, I couldn't resist, write me up a ticket for GM interference.....
(FROM SOMEWHERE IN THE COSMOS): Paging Black Fire. Black Fire, can you read me?
(COMMANDER WORF to CAPTAIN KIRK): .... have captured 7 of 9! Am dee-briefing her as we speak! I will probe her Borg "Implants" in an attempt to "interface" with her remarkable technology for the benefit of the Empire!


Personal Note to You:


File translated from TEX by TTH, version 3.35.
On 10 Jul 2003, 14:55.