``We gonna pinch your Wang Dang Doodle all night long... all night long, all night long...'' lyrics by Willie Dixon, sung by Koko Taylor.

Well, as usual, threats garner the desired attention. We have some entries into the Breaking Away game. I'll hold the opening up until #207 and then we'll start after that. I include the postal rules I will be using, courtesy of For Whom the Die Rolls editor Keith Thomasson. I say a little bit more about his szine in my featured Brit review with the International Subscription Exchange section below. The game is free and the winner will receive a free copy of the game from the game's designer, John Harrington, who also will be playing in the game. See more details in the game start section below.

Shortly, we will be proudly welcoming Tinamou to these pages as a new subszine. David Partridge has graciously accepted my offer of asylum as Jamie McQuinn sadly folds. I'm not sure when you'll see the first Tinamou here, but it will occur shortly. We'll be welcoming some new readers as well!

This issue also is late again. I want to quickly move on to the issue while offering a blanket apology for the various and sundry lapses in the standards I like to set around here lately. Lost letters, lost orders, breaches of GM confidences, and just plain cranky behavior are some of the relevant examples. Most of the people who have been affected have received personal apologies. If you feel you are due such a personal apology and have not received one, please ask. Otherwise, on with it.... I have changed the deadlines to reflect the delay in getting these results out, but it is a bit tight. This is unavoidable if you don't want yet further delays. Get final orders in real quick!

The postal sub price is a flat $1.00 per issue in the US and Canada, a bargain at twice the price.... but you can double that for other foreign subbers (or $2.00 per issue sent airmail). Players in current games and standbys will continue to get the issues for free, and new game starts (except for Nuclear Yuppie Evil Empire Diplomacy, which is free) cost $15.00 ($10.00 for a life of the game subscription and $5 for the NMR Insurance). Remember that music comments and reviews are scattered through the game press at times.

Check out the connections in the Diplomatic Pouch with all of the information you need to play Diplomacy on the Internet at: /DipPouch

Through Jamie McQuinn's Postal portion of the Pouch:

/Postal/Zines/TAP/index.html

the szine resides in html format. Presently, issues from #190 to the current issue are there, and I will be updating the back issues gradually in the near future.

The most recent issue also can be accessed through David Wang's and Pete Sullivan's web pages. David has grabbed and reserved the HIGHLY prized name: www.szine.com!! His szine Metamorphosis may be found there, along with the latest issue of this szine, plus some information on John Caruso's baseball league - which yours truly plays in. I want to review David's web site in some detail and will do so presently. His ``version'' of this szine is somewhat more html.friendly than the one I created, so please check it out. Also, look at the Caruso baseball league chat to see what some old semi-retired Dippers are up to with their spare time. I'm doing real well again this season while trying to play for next year. Next year, when I'll be aiming for the World Championship, I'll probably stink up the joint.

By electronic mail, through the Internet, subs are free and can be obtained automatically by sending the message: subscribe tap

to majordomo of diplom.org and messages can be sent to the entire electronic mailing list by mailing them to tap of diplom.org which will forward your message to all of the people currently on the list. The message:

unsubscribe tap

sent to majordomo of diplom.org gets you off the list. Please make careful note of that as well since you generally can get yourself off the list a lot easier than I can, and NOBODY likes to see unsubscribe messages sent to the entire list. A big, big thank you for David Kovar for setting this all up!! The Cal Tech ftp site is being mirrored on the diplom.org machine as well. Issues of The Abyssinian Prince #131 to #186 are available via anonymous FTP from ftp.ugcs.caltech.edu in the pub/diplomacy/Zines/TAP directory in compressed postscript format. I will be putting all of these issues up in html format at the aforementioned site and more. We'll get all that straightened out soon. The gracious assistance of Kevin Roust is most appreciated in keeping up these archive sites for the old issues. The files begin ap131.ps.Z and go sequentially from there. The Caltech site is at:

ftp://ftp.ugcs.caltech.edu/pub/diplomacy/WWW/

Nobody got Dan Stafford, but I'm not entirely prepared to choose the next target. I'll wait until next issue. Suggestions are always welcome.

This is now going to be a regular continuing feature of the szine and I will be introducing a new ``search for'' every five issues. Moreover, you can win a $25 prize for finding some previous target who went unfound in the original $50 period. That means that if Kevin Tighe or Garret Schenck or Jerry Lucas or Dan Stafford is ``found'' from now on it is worth $25. Plus, Steve Emmert will throw in another ten spot for Garret Schenck if you can get Garret to write to him.

Winners will receive credit for Dip hobby activities that I will pay out as requested by the winner. Bid on PDORA items, subscribe to szines here or abroad, run your own contests, publish a szine, or whatever. Spend it all right away or use me as a bank to cover hobby activities for years. What must you do to win? Get me a letter to the editor for TAP from the person we're searching for. This is very important, just finding them doesn't do it. They have to write me a letter. The final judge as to the winner of any contest will be the target himself and I reserve the right to investigate the winning entry. When you find someone I'm looking for, you should ask him to send me a letter for print that includes a verification of who ``found'' him.

The British representative is the editor of Mission From God, John Harrington. John may be contacted at 1 Churchbury Close, Enfield, Middlesex EN1 3UW, UK (johnh of fiendishgames.demon.co.uk or JHarrington of DatastreamICV.com). Note that address is a new one. The representives in Australia (John Cain, PO Box 4317, Melbourne University 3052, AUSTRALIA) or Belgium and some other European countries (Jef Bryant, Rue Jean Pauly, 121, B-4430 ANS, BELGIUM) also will forward your subscription on to the editor in either Australian dollars or continental European currencies respectively. Please include the full name and address of the foreign publisher with your order, if possible, as well as the szine title. Make your check in US dollars out to me personally. I will conduct business for Canadians as well, if I can, but prefer to deal in US dollars with them if possible, or Canadian dollars cash. To subscribe to American szines, the system works in reverse.

Keith Thomasson publishes a FANTASTIC little multi-gaming szine that is NOT very little. In fact, it is downright huge! For Whom the Die Rolls, like many Brit szines, is not primarily a Diplomacy szine; however, it is strongly ``associated'' with the Brit Diplomacy hobby. There are games of United, Breaking Away, and all sorts of other games. Plus, his father Don serializes his quirky ``Jimmy Ferguson'' spy novels in the szine. I think they are ``amateur'' novels, but for someone who is not a great novel reader, I really enjoy them. They are set in a Mark Stretch and Mike Barno kind of world with road racing being heavy in the background. There also is a very high level of rich locational detail and where the characters are and how they get from one place to the other. I suspect that this is truly magical for those familiar with the places described and even for those who are not (like myself) they paint a beautiful visual ``travelogue'' picture. I might get the szine just for that. Find Keith at 14 Stepnells, Marsworth, Nr. Tring, Herts, HP23 4NQ, UK.

I also want to say a few words about The Sprouts of Wrath, Mark Wightman's szine, the other positively massive Brit szine I receive. Both szines regularly come out between 60 and 90 pages. While Keith's is primarily filled with games, there's a bigger letter column and more articles in the Sprout. As Kim Head said in the latest issue, ``Right, back to the Sprout being the only real 'zine out there.'' Now, perhaps, Kim was reacting solely to the article in Issue 25 on lesbian sex, ``Learning to Fuck'', but I don't think so. In addition to WAY too many great games, great chat and editor personality quirks, this self same latest issue has the first half of a brilliant travelogue and World Dip Con report. I loved his descriptions of DC, a city I know backwards and forwards. Write to Mark at 52 Park Road West, Bedford, MK41 7SL, UK. I think he only charges one pound per issue, but perhaps more for us Americans. Remember, you can send sub money to me via the ISE. That's what it's here for, boys and girls.

Obscure and not-so-obscure ramblings on the state of the hobby and its publications, custodians, events, and individuals with no guarantee of relevance from the fertile keyboard of Jim-Bob, the E-Mail Dip world, and the rest of the postal hobby. My comments are in italics and ((double quotation marks)) like this. Bold face is used to set off each individual speaker. I should also make a note that I do edit for syntax and spelling on occasion.

Heath Gardner (Wed, 24 Jun 1998 06:48:39 -0700 (PDT))

To recognized postal editors throughout the US and Taiwan and Sweden :),

You may remember when I attempted to launch a postal zine dubbed Naima Equinox. It was a noble effort but I didn't work hard enough.

I'm trying again. I love the postal hobby more than any other form of Dip Play, simply because of the esthetic quality of the Zines.

I was wondering if any of you would be willing to plug my zine in your zines. I'm willing to trade with any of you as well. ((Plug, plug, plug.... and we're trading....))

The zine will be $1 per issue, and it'll consist of a (hopefully) lively lettercol, discussions about movies, books, music, and games, and of course will be running games. Just Standard and Gunboat to start, colonial after they begin to run smoothly, and I will be running a Postal version of the goofy variant as an experiment.

My email address is bassoon of mindspring.com. People wishing to subscribe should send money (there's no minimum fee.. they can pay for only one issue if they want) to:

Heath Gardner, 3017 Mayview Rd., Raleigh, NC 27607

Help some `young blood' keep the hobby alive in the later years! Help me!

Heath Gardner (Thu, 02 Jul 1998 17:17:51 -0400)

I feel that my life has calmed enough to begin publishing, and am actively contacting possible subscribers.

At one point I was going to run it via e-mail, but I have decided to bring it to a postal format. Overseas folks who aren't trading can get a copy via e-mail, otherwise you are stuck with the postal format.

It's $1 per issue and I have already collected a surprising amount of subscription fees. At least it was surprising to me that the interest was there.

I will be trading for any and all zines (sight unseen). There will be several opportunities within the zine to win free issues.

I am contacting you all to ask to PLEASE help us get started. If you have signed up for a game before, I need you to contact me to express interest again. I am running Standard and Gunboat. There are very few signed up for these games.

So if you have the time, please join one or both of the games. Subscription fees should be sent to:

Heath Gardner, 3017 Mayview Rd., Raleigh, NC 27607.

((Thanks, Heath. Seriously, I do wish you the VERY best of luck getting this going. Don't get all hot and bothered over starting up lots of games really fast. People like to see what they're buying in for and it's much easier and better to ramp up slowly than to try to bring a monster on line all at once. I started out with just ONE game and that's all I had for quite some time. Good luck! Now, I have two little (well, not that little) articles from Larry Peery. Peeriblah is not everyone's cup of tea, but I always get at least a little bit out of these. I figure at least Jamie McQuinn and I will be able to say that when we're done.))

Larry Peery (Wed, 17 Jun 1998 18:36:12 -0700)

INTRODUCTION

When I say Black to a Dipper, he assumes I mean Germany. When I say Green, he assumes I mean Italy. Well, not always.

A few weeks ago within a 72 hour period the world marked the passing of two remarkable individuals whose combined careers as professional diplomats totaled nearly 90 years. ``The Black" was Agostino Cardinal Casaroli, the man who led the Vatican to detente. ``The Green" was Marshall Green, the man who was the U.S. State Department's leading expert on East Asia. If there were ever professional diplomats who could serve as role models for Diplomacy players; these two would be them. I find no evidence that the two ever met each other, although I was fortunate to have met both of them once. The world's media was filled with obituaries for Casaroli: AP, Reuters, the BBC, The New York Times and the rest. He was, after all, a major player on the international scene for many years. I only saw one obituary for Ambassador Green, but The New York Times gave him the same pride of space, headlines, photograph, and amount of space as it did the Cardinal; only one day later. As I read over their biographies I couldn't help but notice the similarities and differences in the lives and careers of these two men. What I am going to do is give you some perspective on their individual careers, then do a parallel chronological listing of the highlights of their lives, and finally close with my own, brief, remembrances. I hope you'll learn something about them, our times, and what a real live diplomat's life is all about.

AGOSTINO CARDINAL CASAROLI Agostino Cardinal Casaroli, second-in-command to Pope John Paul II during the most active and turbulent times of his papacy and the architect of reconciliation with the Communist world, died today in Rome. He was 83. The cause of death was an infection after minor surgery, according to the Italian news agency ANSA. The high point of Cardinal Casaroli's career came in 1989, a year before his retirement, when he helped arrange the historic meeting between the Soviet leader Mikhail S. Gorbachev and Pope John Paul II at the Vatican. Today, in a condolence message, the Pope described the Cardinal as ``an impassioned weaver of peaceful relations between individuals and nations, carrying out courageous and meaningful steps with fine diplomatic sensitivity - in particular to improve the situation of the church in Eastern Europe." Even before he was appointed Secretary of State in April 1979, Cardinal Casaroli's efforts to restore diplomatic ties with the Soviet bloc had earned him the sobriquet ``the Pope's Henry Kissinger." In the 1960's and 70's he was the principal architect of the Vatican's policy of cautious reconciliation with Communist governments, which began under Pope John XXIII and which sought to improve conditions for the Catholic clergy behind the Iron Curtain. In 1971, as an archbishop, he was the first Vatican official to visit the Soviet Union since 1924. Three years later he was the first to visit Cuba under Fidel Castro. Even earlier, he had brokered an easing of relations between the church and state in Poland. After one visit there in 1967, the Polish Government agreed to allow the elevation of Karol Wojtyla, Archbishop of Cracow, to Cardinal. Karol Wojtyla later became Pope John Paul II. Seven months after the Pope was elected, he appointed Cardinal Casaroli Secretary of State, a position equivalent to prime minister. The election of a Polish pope was fraught with potential difficulties, including a worsening of Polish-Russian and Catholic-Orthodox relations. The Pope calculated that Cardinal Casaroli's experience in the diplomacy of detente could ease those tensions, and soon after his appointment, Cardinal Casaroli met with the Soviet Foreign Minister Andrei A. Gromyko. The Cardinal was on his way to New York to receive an honorary doctorate from St. John's University when the Pope was shot in 1981. Two hours after his plane landed, Cardinal Casaroli boarded a return flight to Rome, telling reporters, ``My duty is to be with the Holy Father." He ran the Vatican while the Pope recuperated. In the beginning of their relationship, the Pope, a fierce anti-Communist did not always agree with his more cautious deputy, preferring a more uncompromising stance. But those differences were soon smoothed out and the two men worked closely to help sustain the driving force, especially in Poland, behind the democratic changes that swept one Eastern-bloc country after another in the late 1980's.

AMBASSADOR MARSHALL GREEN

Marshall Green, who was the State Department's leading expert on East Asia and served as Ambassador to Indonesia during the violent uprising in the 1960's that brought President Suharto to power, died on Saturday. He was 82 and lived in Washington. His family said he suffered a heart attack while playing golf with one of his sons. At the side of a succession of Presidents and Secretaries of State, Mr. Green helped steer foreign policy in East Asia as the United States deepened its involvement there in the decades after World War II. He was a witness to history from the earliest days of his career, which began with his appointment in 1939 as the private secretary to the United States Ambassador to Tokyo. He left the Embassy only a few months before the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor in December 1941. In 1961 he was the senior American diplomat in South Korea during a coup that toppled a democratically elected Government. Four years later he was Ambassador to Indonesia during the overthrow of President Sukarno and his replacement by President Suharto. In 1969 he was named a member of the United States delegation to talks in Paris to end the Vietnam War. In the 1970's he was a key aide to Secretary of State Henry Kissinger and accompanied President Richard Nixon on his historic 1972 visit to China. After the China trip, Nixon sent Mr. Green to several Asian nations to calm their fears about the new relationship with Beijing. ``History is likely to regard the period from 1940 to about 1970 as the golden age of the American Foreign Service," said William P. Bundy, who preceded Mr. Green as Assistant Secretary of State for East Asian and Pacific Affairs and later edited Foreign Affairs magazine. ``No career officer exemplifies that period and its ethos better than Marshall Green."

PARALLEL CHRONOLOGY 24 November 1914 - Agostino Casaroli was born in Castel San Giovanni, in Piacenza, in northern Italy. The son of a tailor, he had an uncle who was a bishop and another who was a rector of a seminary, and be began studying for the priesthood at 16. He was ordained in 1937 and entered the Pontifical Ecclesiastical Academy in Rome the same year. 27 January 1916 - Marshall Green was born in Holyoke, Mass., and graduated from Yale in 1939. His introduction to Asia came later that year, with his appointment as secretary to Ambassador Joseph Clark Grew in Japan. 1940 - Affable and courtly but reserved, Father Casaroli joined the office of the Secretary of State as an archivist in 1940, during the reign of Pope Pius XII. He taught protocol and ``diplomatic style" at the Pontifical Academy from 1956 to 1961, the year he was recruited by Pope John XXIII to serve as an undersecretary in the Department of Extraordinary Affairs, where he dealt with Latin America. 1941 - Shortly before the attack on Pearl Harbor, Mr. Green returned to the United States to prepare to take the examination for the Foreign Service. With the start of the war in the Pacific, he joined the Navy as a Japanese-language translator. He had learned to speak Japanese during his years in Tokyo. After his discharge from the Navy in 1945, he joined the Foreign Service and received his first assignment - third secretary in Wellington, New Zealand, for two years.

Mr. Green was admired by his State Department colleagues for his persuasive speaking style, his almost preternatural calm and his quick wit. He endeared himself to many diplomats - although not to Mr. Kissinger - when he let slip in a speech that the former Secretary of State was a ``self-made man who worshiped his creator." His cool head served him well as he managed the American response to diplomatic and military crises in East Asia, beginning in 1958 with the Chinese Communists shelling of Quemoy and Matsu, two offshore islands held by the Nationalists on Taiwan. The clash brought the United States and China to the brink of war.

Mr. Bundy later said that Mr. Green, who was the State Department's chief working-level officer on the issue, argued at the moment of greatest apparent crisis that China was in fact easing off, and that a policy of quiet firmness would win out and bring the threat to an end without outright war. He was right." 1961 - It was as a protégé of the next Pontiff, Pope Paul VI, who was elected in 1963, that Father Casaroli's policy of closer ties began paying off in Eastern Europe. He made frequent fact-finding trips to Soviet-controlled countries, often traveling incognito in civilian clothes. In 1964 he signed a partial accord between the Vatican and Hungary, the first such agreement of the cold war, and negotiated the restoration of full relations with Yugoslavia in 1970. He often cited a remark of John XXIII, ``There are enemies of the church, but the church has no enemies." 1961 - Mr. Green was the senior American diplomat in Seoul, South Korea, when Gen. Park Chung Hee seized power in a military coup that ousted an elected government. As soon as he learned of the coup, Mr. Green announced on local radio that the United States continued to back the ousted civilian Government, a decision that did not endear him to the Korean military. He was named Ambassador to Indonesia in July, 1965, only weeks ahead of an anti-Communist purge there that would see Sukarno replaced with Mr. Suharto and would lead to the deaths of an estimated 500,000 Indonesians. To make clear the tensions between Indonesia and the United States at the time of Mr. Green's appointment - the Indonesians were opposed to American military involvement in Vietnam - Mr. Sukarno organized a ``Go Home, Green" protest by thousands of demonstrators outside of the Ambassador's residence, only hours after Mr. Green presented his credentials to the Indonesian leader. Ambassador Green, who was widely praised within the State Department for his bravery during the months of bloodshed that followed, practiced what he described as a ``low-profile concept" of diplomacy during his years in Indonesia.

1972 - The Cardinal, who spoke Spanish, French, English, German and Portuguese, and studied Polish, Russian and Chinese, was tactful in all of them. His diplomatic finesse was put to good use in 1972, when Juan D. Peron, the former Argentine dictator, who was on his way back to Buenos Aires, stopped in Rome to seek an audience with the Pope. Even though it was clear that Peron would return to power, the Vatican wanted to avoid the appearance of giving him its blessing. Cardinal Casaroli met with Peron for 90 minutes in his hotel and emerged to announce, ``Mr. Peron has himself considered it opportune to forgo seeking an audience with the Pontiff." 1969-1973 - At the height of the Vietnam War, Mr. Green served in Washington as the Assistant Secretary for East Asian and Pacific Affairs, a post in which he helped oversee foreign policy in all of the Far East. His office did much of the background work in preparation for Mr. Nixon's visit to China, and he was one of the 13 senior American officials who accompanied the President to Beijing. 1975 - Often portrayed as a skillful seeker of compromise, the Cardinal could also hew to a tougher line. He was credited with helping to draft the unstinting language on human rights and religious freedom in the declaration signed at the 1975 Helsinki Conference on European Security and Cooperation. 1973-1975 - Mr. Green was Ambassador to Australia. He returned from Australia to become the State Department's coordinator of population affairs. He retired in 1979 and went on to write three books, all of them touching on his experiences in Asia. 1979 - Appointed Secretary of State in April, he was named a cardinal by John Paul II in June. Under his tenure as Secretary of State, the Vatican's relationship to the Italian Government also changed dramatically. Cardinal Casaroli signed a concordat in 1984 under which Roman Catholicism ceased to be the state religion of Italy. But he insured that the state would still help the Vatican, notably in maintaining churches and preserving religious art. And when the Vatican bank, the Institute for Religious Works, was found to have financial ties to Banco Ambrosiano and became embroiled in the scandal surrounding Ambrosiano's collapse in 1982, Cardinal Casaroli was instrumental in deflecting the disgrace. He directed the Vatican to negotiate a settlement with Ambrosiano's creditors worth $244 million. He also supervised the rewriting of Vatican rules to limit its financial activities at commercial banks.

Legend - Legend has it that upon his arrival in the Tokyo Embassy in 1939 as the secretary to the Ambassador, Mr. Green saw the portrait of a young woman named Lispenard Seabury Crocker on the mantelpiece of the home of her father, a senior diplomat in the Embassy, and announced that he would marry her. In 1942, he did. The couple had three children, two of whom survive. Mrs. Green died in 1986. 1989 - The Cardinal submitted his resignation in 1989 when he turned 75, but the Pope asked him to stay on. When he finally left office in 1990, and was replaced by Angelo Cardinal Sodano, the Pope explained that he delayed the retirement because ``I considered that I could not immediately deprive myself of such a wise and expert collaborator." The Cardinal's funeral was held in St. Peter's Basilica.

REMEMBRANCES I met Mr. Green, probably during 1969, when I was Chief of Protocol for the Institute on World Affairs at San Diego State University, a summertime program that brought a wide variety of guest speakers to the school to lecture on a variety of subjects. During my three years in that role I heard many great lecturers in the field of international affairs. Some I remember vividly. Some I do not. Mr. Green falls into the second group, perhaps because I didn't get to drive him back and forth to the airport (one of my primary functions), so I never had a real opportunity to chat with him one-on-one, as I did with many of the other dignitaries who attended the Institute. My program notes only record that I gave him a B for his lecture style, a B-plus for his lecture content, and a cryptic note that he had ``the heaviest damn briefcase I've ever carried!" Not a bad obit, I think. My audience (it really can't be called anything else) with Cardinal Casaroli was an entirely different matter. I still don't know exactly how it happened, perhaps Divine intervention, or perhaps one archivist's curiosity about another. It was the summer of 1988, and I had spent three years as DIPLOMACY WORLD's publisher and editor and, along the way, put together a huge collection of Diplomacy publications, including the hobby's Archives. I had no idea what I was going to do with them, but I knew I needed advice. I was also busy planning and prepping for my first big, extended trip to Europe. I was going to spend 3 weeks in London and then another 4 weeks in Italy, culminating with a week in Rome over my birthday. During my research for my trip I must have come across a reference to the Vatican Archives. That got me to thinking. Surely they could advise me what to do with mine. (Only a non-Catholic, non-Italian would think like that, right?). So, I called the local Diocese office and found a clerk who had a copy of the Vatican phone book (Yes, such a thing exists.) She spent a good half-hour with me trying to find a listing for The Vatican Archives. No such listing. She did find the Pope's listing however. It was the first one in the book. Anyway, eventually, under the Secretary of State's office she found a listing for Archives. She gave me the number. I don't know what possessed me to do it, but I dialed it.

I had never called anybody in Italy in my life, let alone anybody in The Vatican. Well, the ring sounded rather strange but the phone worked! After a few rings, a man's voice answered in, surprise, Italian! Well, I didn't speak a word of Italian, so I just said ``Hello?" There was a pause, and then a rather surprised ``Hello?" I'm not sure exactly what I said other than the basics that I was an American diplomacy archivist coming to Rome and would it be possible to see the Vatican's Archives. Dead silence. The voice asked if I was bringing a letter of introduction from my bishop or priest. Long pause. Well, no, I said. I'm not Catholic. Longer dead silence.

Well, to make a long story shorter, ((See, it is possible....)) I did get to Rome and I did get to meet the fellow that I had talked to. It turned out he was the Vatican archivist and he was also an American monsignor from, of all places, Milwaukee, Wisconsin. He met me just as I was finishing a professionally guided tour of the Vatican museums. I'll never forget that look on that tour guide's face when this priest comes up to the group and asks if there is a Mr. Peery in her party. Anyway, he took me off down a series of long halls and we spent several hours looking at and discussing how the Vatican Archives operate. He told me that I was the first person from the States to call him since he had had his job as Archivist and the first person ever to actually be interested in the Archives for their own sake. He asked me a lot of questions, as well, probably trying to figure out if I was sane, or perhaps a Protestant spy! Eventually he asked if I would like to meet his boss. Well, that floored me a bit; since I knew the Pope was at his summer palace. But I readily agreed. He got on the phone and spoke a few hundred words in rapid-fire Italian. Hanging up, he looked surprised and said, ``He agreed." And so we raced off down some more halls! The Vatican halls are huge! They are intended to allow two people talking to each other to stroll side by side, in both directions, with plenty of room between the traffic flow. I would guess most of them are 20 feet wide, and equally high. And they go on forever, and then you turn a corner, and they go even more! And after a while they all look alike. We eventually came to a door, probably 12 feet high. No sign, no number, no guard, no nothing. Just one out of hundreds of doors! Actually, it reminded me of the Kremlin. Anyway, he knocked softly. I didn't hear a sound, but he opened the door and gestured for me to come in. What I saw was straight out of Preminger's movie The Cardinal. The office was probably 60 feet square and 20 feet high. The colors were white and gold and all the art looked like it belonged in the Vatican museums. Way over in one corner of the room there was one desk, rather small and very Rocco; and two chairs. That was it. On the desk was one lamp, a phone, and a spotless blotter! Sitting behind the desk was the archivist's boss, the Secretary of State Cardinal Casaroli. He just looked at me while my escort rattled off some more gunfire Italian. He was obviously an older man, and very Italian-looking. Only the bit of red on his black cassock suggested he might be important. Finally he took off his glasses, laid them on the blotter, and rubbed his eyes! A strange greeting, I thought. He left them off, looked at and through me, and asked a few questions: ``Where are you from?" ``San Diego, California." ``What parish?" ``Well, I live in Blessed Sacrament, but I'm not Catholic."

That got a raised eye-brow response. ``Why did you come to Rome?" ``Because I studied Latin for four years, and it is greatest city in the world." ``Did you study Latin in a Catholic school? ``No. Public school. Classical Latin, not Church Latin." Another raised eye-brow. ``You are an archivist?" ``Yes, of diplomacy materials." ``How big is your archives?" ``250,000 items, give or take a few thousand." That got two raised eye-brows. ``How long have you been collecting?" ``Twenty-three years." ``Have you learned anything from your visit here?" ``Yes. You need more filing boxes and you need more help." Finally, a slight smile. We chatted about some of the places I had seen in Rome and the other places I had visited in Italy. I mentioned that I was going to see Aida at the Baths the following night since it was my birthday. And that led us to a discussion of opera, of all things. Finally, with what seemed like an almost audible sigh, he reached for his glasses and put them on. And the next thing I knew, I was back in the hall.

LAST WORDS

It wasn't until I read the obits that I realized that Casaroli had begun his Vatican career as an archivist, and perhaps that was in the back of his mind as well as we chatted. I wonder what my American monsignor was thinking? What did catch my eye, however, was that second paragraph, ``The cause of death was an infection after minor surgery." The Vatican's medical support facilities in Rome are terrible. This is not the first time something like this has happened. What should have been a routine medical procedure went bad and a patient died! Casaroli deserved better. Marshall Green, on the other hand, went the way any red-blooded American diplomat would have wanted; playing golf with family at hand.

No doubt the two of them are busy now going through a debriefing process at the Pearly Gates.

A DIPPER'S SUMMER READING GUIDE Summer is upon us, hard as that is to believe. I remember when I was a kid I used to look forward to summer because it meant I had more time to read the kinds of books I wanted to read: lots of military history, biographies and autobiographies about and by famous military figures; and novels with wartime settings. I don't recall reading any books by or about diplomats per se, although some of those wartime generals and admirals did go on to become successful diplomats. I recall that the library was filled with row after row of books about war in one form or another, but I doubt if you could have filled a single shelf with all the books by or about diplomats or diplomacy. Well, times have changed. I don't know what the library collections include anymore, but even a quick look at the web sites of Barnes and Noble or Amazon will show you that books by or about diplomats or about diplomacy are selling. If you have the time and money I suggest you wander down to your local book store and check out what they offer, being sure to stop by the remainders table - you can often find last year's best sellers marked down a lot! If you don't have a lot of time or money there is another route you can take.

Take a few minutes to visit the B&N and Amazon sites. Check out their home page. Then do a search on the subject of Diplomacy. You'll find that B&N lists around 475 titles in best selling order! You'll get them in groups of twenty-five or so. The format offers the title, book availability, author (or editor), whether it is a hard copy or paperback, the date of publication, the list price, their price, and sometimes a link to more information. If you click on that, you'll find more details on the book and often reviews from various book reviewing publications. The Amazon site isn't quite as fancy or clean as the B&N one, but it has its advantages. It currently lists some 700+ titles in alphabetical order! Again the basic information is there: title, author or editor, hard copy or paperback, date of publication, their price, and a more information link. This is a bit different than the B&N set-up since it allows readers, authors or publishers to comment! Even if you don't want to buy anything you can learn a lot just by going through the two sites and reading the various reviews and comments on the books offered. In fact, if you did it systematically you'd probably get close to a university education in diplomatic studies! I've selected a few of my favorite books by diplomats or about subjects of interest to those interested in diplomacy. I've tried to pick ones that I thought would be of special interest to Diplomacy players. But first, here's a few things to keep in mind as you begin your summer Diplomacy reading program. All books, including those about diplomacy, are written for a purpose. The reader's may be to learn something or to be entertained. The author's may be to educate, to justify, to convert, or even just to make some money! Books about diplomacy may be written by diplomats (either professionals or amateurs), scholars, historians, journalists, or even eye-witnesses. Retired diplomats often write ``memoirs;" which can be informative and entertaining, but are rarely completely truthful. As you read any of these books think about what the author is saying, and what they don't say. What is their subject: a single event or a broad panorama? Who are they writing about; major figures or ordinary people; and how well did they know them? What is their perspective and bias? Never assume that just because an author has a ``scholarly" background he will be neutral or objective in his writing. Is this book a work about a current event, an on-going diplomatic issue, or a historical event? Consider how the author says what he has to say. Some diplomatic authors are great writers and horrible talkers, and the opposite is also true. Remember, diplomacy consists of both talk (negotiations) and the written word (orders and treaties). Well, enough of that. On with the list! A ``*" indicates a book I have especially enjoyed.

*DIPLOMACY By Henry Kissinger, 1994 A NEW NAME FOR PEACE International Environmentalism, Sustainable Development, and Democracy By Philip Shabecoff, 1996

*THE POLITICS OF DIPLOMACY Revolution, War and Peace, 1989 - 1992 By James A. Baker 3rd, 1995

CONSTITUTIONAL DIPLOMACY By Michael J.Glennon, 1990

BANANA DIPLOMACY The Making of American Policy in Nicaragua 1981 - 1987 By Roy Gutman 1988

*MORALITY, REASON AND POWER American Diplomacy in the Carter Years By Gaddis Smith, 1986

ATOMIC DIPLOMACY: HIROSHIMA AND POTSDAM The Use of the Atomic Bomb and the American Confrontation With Soviet Power By Gaddis Smith, 1985

HARD CHOICES, Four Critical Years in America's Foreign Policy By Cyrus Vance, 1983 THE NEW DIPLOMACY International Affairs in the Modern Age By Abba Eban, 1983 DIPLOMACY FOR THE NEXT CENTURY By Abba Eban, 1998 PREVENTIVE DIPLOMACY Stopping Wars Before They Start. Edited by Kevin M. Cahill, 1997

THE VERY BEST MEN Four Who Dared: The Early Years of the CIA By Evan Thomas, 1995

PEACE PROCESS American Diplomacy and the Arab-Israeli Conflict Since 1967 By William B. Quandt, 1993

THE VIETNAM WARS 1945 - 1990 By Marilyn B. Young, 1991

MAYDAY Eisenhower, Khrushchev, and the U-2 Affair By Michael R. Beschloss, 1986

*WILSON AND HIS PEACEMAKERS: American Diplomacy at the Paris Peace Conference, 1919 By Arthur Walworth, 1986

THE IRON CURTAIN Churchill, America, and the Origins of the Cold War By Fraser Harbutt, 1986

WITNESS: THE WORLD SINCE HIROSHIMA By Roger Rosenblatt, 1985

DEADLY GAMBITS By Strobe Talbott, 1984

*THE FATEFUL ALLIANCE. France, Russia, and the Coming of the First World War By George F. Kennan, 1984

STALIN'S SECRET WAR By Nikolai Tolstoy, 1982

DIPLOMACY OF POWER: Soviet Armed Forces as a Political Instrument By Stephen S. Kaplan, 1981

Not exactly light reading, huh? Well, if you want something that's an easy read and fun try:

LIFE OF THE PARTY The Biography of Pamela Digby Churchill Hayward Harriman, a gal who could have taught Mata Hari lessons!

((Thanks for the advice, Larry. I like the books of Diplomatic history of particular periods by scholars who are ostensibly making a greater attempt to remain impartial, though your cautions obviously are important to keep in mind any time. This isn't Diplomacy, but the first half of TRUTH GAMES: LIES, MONEY, AND PSYCHOANALYSIS by John Forrester, 1998 is about ``lying'' on a more personal level, which is what this game of Diplomacy frequently is about. If you are interested in thinking about how lying fits into the history of ideas, this new book will open up lots of paths of inquiry. Its biggest fault is that it doesn't have any answers and is a awfully breezy in places (referencing everyone from Nietzsche to Shere Hite).))

This section is developing a list of the great party singles of the century. You'll get a definite sense of quirky before we're done. You'll also get a sense of timelessness. I'll assume that I'll also get some comments from some of you. Then, I'm going to set a slate of 20 or so (perhaps more at the rate my thinking is going) and DEMAND votes from you out there. I may get a bit obnoxious on that score as the great freedom to work and play will generate a responsibility to offer some opinions as we near the end of the century. I intend to have a lot of fun with this, and hope all of you do too. We'll end up with a monster party tape at the end of it that I plan to segue and sequence and copy for distribution. The result will be a great New Millenium party tape. So far, we have ``I Melt With You'' by Modern English; George Gershwin's ``I got Plenty O' Nuttin' '' from Porgy and Bess in the 1957 concert recording with Ella Fitzgerald finishing off the vocals after Louis Armstrong blows and sings through the tune; Duke Ellington performing Billy Strayhorn's ``Take the A Train''; and Frank Sinatra's ``New York, New York''.

Also, recall our trivia question from last time: what disco song about the Big Apple vied with Sinatra for possession of the City during that same period? It, of course, was Odyssey's ``Native New Yorker''! I briefly thought about adding it or some other pure disco song to the list, but I'm still thinking. We'll come back to that.

This time, we're adding Koko Taylor's ``Wang Dang Doodle''. I had been intending to put this one in and then Mike Barno pushed it to the top of the queue. There's a luminescence in Koko's eyes on stage that grabs my memories every time I hear that song! There's also a ``keep on movin' aspect'' to the song that is essential in such a list.\ The version with the incomparable Buddy Guy on the gee-tar and composer Willie Dixon on backing vocals is the one to get. I'm also going to start a ``bullpen'' of suggestions that people make that I haven't decided whether or not to include yet. Comments on the bullpen are, of course, actively encouraged.

BULLPEN: ``Fire on the Mountain'' - the Grateful Dead; Devo - ``Whip It"; B Movie - ``Nowhere Girl"; B-52s - ``Give Me Back My Man" or ``Rock Lobster".

I also have a brief comment about music in general and what I am looking for in this series. It almost certainly won't be obvious at this point, for many of these songs that are embedded in our culture, but a great party song has to be out on the edge of control. The artists have to have taken a great number of risks in putting the song together so that the chances of failure were very high. A song like ``Wang Dang Doodle'' epitomizes that as well as all of the others I've selected so far. I'm inclined to stay away from ``novelty'' dance songs and am putting them in the bullpen for now. And ideally there is a sense of both the successes and excesses in a synergy that compels one to dance! I think this is a lesson for life as well. Go for it, everyone!

First up in the letters is John Harrington. He asked me about how Americans were viewing soccer/football teams. In particular, he asked about Cameroon and I said....

Yeah, those Cameroon players really appeal to the US sense of violence and attack, the way WE like to play football...... partly kidding, but Cameroon is viewed over here as a team that ``plays" to our television audience, while in particular the Germans and the Italians and sound boring defensive teams in general come in for criticism. This usually (you might be surprised) is strangely soft-pedaled. There is an explicit admission in our press that Americans don't have any business mucking up FIFA when the game isn't really all that important to us. The prevailing opinion is that we need to play by your rules, but don't really care that much if we do really well. ((Postscript after our last place finish in the World Cup: Yeah, I guess we need a foreign coach and a new program, but do we really want a ``machine'' program that identifies young future International players and sends them away to year round camps? Not really, if we can get better doing it our way, OK, but if not we won't sweat it too much... and if that isn't an American attitude, I don't know what is.))

John Harrington (Thu, 04 Jun 1998 10:27)

Jim, I find this comforting. Football is, in some ways, evolving along the American sporting line anyway, with stricter guidelines on penalising dirty play (equivalent to changing the rules to American football to whatever enables the QB to throw lots of long passes) and increased use of substitutes. We have not got to situational substitution yet, but for most of my adult life teams were only allowed one substitute and he was often only used in the event of injury. In the last 10 or 15 years we've accelerated up to ``substitute any 3 from 5 on the bench".

I'm not sure it has improved the game. It has made the game faster for longer but then the British game did not need speeding up anyway. In the old days when you were only allowed one substitute players got more tired towards the end of the game, and with tiredness comes mistakes, and with mistakes comes goals and thus the game was opened up a bit. Nowadays when a full back is being run ragged by a winger the manager can haul him off and put on a fresh pair of legs.

The standard comment about African teams over here is that they are ``naive", which basically means they think the idea of the game is to score more goals than the opposition, whereas a lot of European teams think if you don't concede a goal, you can't lose.

If an African team is to win the World Cup this century then it has to be this time round. I don't think they will win it but were I to have a bet I'd put my money on Nigeria who, I think, are managed by the bloke who managed the USA team in the last World Cup. He got them very well organised so if he can do the same to Nigeria then their natural talent on top of that should take them a long way, even though they are in a tough qualification group with Brazil.

I've been keeping myself occupied on the walk from the station to the office contemplating my desert island discs. Thus far I have albums from Sam Cooke, The Undertones, the Small Faces, Spirit, the Beatles, Rod Stewart and the Icicle Works; I'm contemplating including the Stones but I'll probably cheat and go for a compilation, as it is the singles I really like. Ditto the Kinks. If I throw in something off the wall like They Might Be Giants that pretty much wraps it up, at which point one says, ``Hang on, there must be a place for the Allman Brothers' first album in there or Muddy Waters or something obscure by an East London pub band" and the whole process starts over again.

I don't suppose you'll have any shortage of contributors on this subject which probably gives me a bit longer to mull over my choices. ((I'm really not pushing that right this moment, as I get people to mull the singles. Which Stones single would you consider the essential one for the Century? ``Satisfaction'' is likely to be my choice without outside input...))

((Next up is a blast from the past. I've waited a long time for this letter. The wait has been well worth it....))

Mark Luedi (Thu, 18 Jun 1998 17:07:14 -0400)

Jim: Gosh darn it's been ages since I've dropped you a note. Sorry, haven't even opened the envelope on the number 200 extrava - I know, I know, I was supposed to have contributed (Really, that is quite the accomplishment, publishing for what - 16 years?). Moi? Too much work (maybe 20 days off in 2 1/2 years), followed by too much vacation (the store has been on break since mid-January; I've been in burn-out city for much of the time since). Some quick (lengthy) ganders at best of '97????!!! Hey, why not. I like the new Dylan, full of so much cynical remorse ... middle aged angst (``angst" / btw ... how's the search for Dan Stafford coming - I predict he'll be found within 20 miles or so of Columbus and I can't imagine Eric Ozog not being among the more informed as to his whereabouts. I recall mostly five things about Dan: the aforementioned ``angst"; his comment about Indiana radio stations (or, truly, lack there-of); his devotion to U2; his compliment after I with Dave (??) Carter pulled off a pretty slick stab of him in Diplomacy by Moonlight; and his being a pretty straightforward character of few embellishments.) Some many of us on-the-fringe characters, former Dip addicts/thugs, roaming around in this world. Hope you meet your goal of tracking all of us down (but what will you do then? a rogue hall of fame? dartboard decoration? states' evidence? get us all to play in a Dip game (uh, thanks ... uh-uh) together? ((Or maybe nothing at all....))

Anyhow, with the grace you've allowed me to revise my earlier e-mail, I've returned the favor by putting a little (just a wee-bit) more thought (and contrawise, hopefully fewer words) into my selections, (this really could take days just going through everything; I hope there are no more outrageous omissions - I keep findin' 'em) ... ... as I was saying ... I like the new Dylan (Time Out of Mind) alot, and I tend not to really care all that much about Dylan, \ but there are 3 or 4 songs I love, and despite its length and schizophrenic undertones, ``Highlands" is a work of genius. And, for producer Daniel Lanois it is a sizeable redemption for the nasty treadmarks he left on Emmylou Harris' Wrecking Ball. But, I revert to my cynical remorse comment - it's not an album which I feel 100% good endorsing as ALBUM OF THE YEAR (it should make at least top ten), but, to get really gritty in negativity, I gotta go with Townes Van Zandt's barely posthumously released The Highway Kind. Exquisite. And an artist that is new to me - imagine a deadpan Lou Reed trying to imitate the ``high lonesome sound". I guess I've got some research to do on the man. So, here we go ... Townes Van Zandt: The Highway Kind. Charlie Haden and Pat Metheny: Beyond the Missouri Sky. Yeah, it's kinda sleepy, but it is oh-so-sweet, a true gem. Interesting to hear Metheny in an almost totally acoustic setting. Bob Dylan: Time Out of Mind. Martin Simpson: Live. An album I adore but maybe in part it's from seeing two live performances in the last 14 months (one solo, one with The Band of Angels). The right level of imperfections, some great songs and awesome awesome guitar work. Satin Jacob: Nobody's Perfect. Great bluesy jazzy R&B funk with lots of B-3 organ and trombone and ballad sensibility - from a former Nashville sessionman (Mike Lawler - not to be confused with the Allman Brothers' alum) and his posse of cohorts. Mike doesn't think it measures up - the sound and production suffer from a studio shutdown - but it's at least five-ninths awesome song-craft. Boz Scaggs: Come On Home. This album got played so much it's probably one of the reasons the store's player had to go into the shop. Merrie Amsterburg: Season of Rain. This probably isn't one for everyone, but I've learned to like it alot; best female songwriter album in an off-year (more on that later), kind of in the Cowboy Junkies mold. Tuatara: Breaking the Ethers. Jazz?, funk?, world?, indescrible really, but I's likes. Unfortunately, there was something else similar that came out around the same time that I've been unable to recall for weeks (months?!) now, but there's this weird mutant music that's coming to the fore more and more and getting better and better. Honorable Mentions: Loreena McKennitt: The Book of Secrets. I still like The Mask and Mirror better, but this is a really great effort; alas, it's becoming prime season for the McKennitt knock-offs to start showing up en force. Bill Frisell: Nashville. Quirky jazz guitarist goes Gothic Americana. Really nice, especially Robin Holcomb doing vocals on three tracks. Martin Hayes and Dennis Cahill: The Lonesome Touch. Again, kinda sweet and sleepy (Celtic fiddle and guitar), but very exquisite. Martin Sexton: Black Sheep. Possibly the most promising male vocalist in years. Lots of vocal talent, good songcraft, great live performer (from what I hear). (and this is one I almost forgot to mention!) Richard Shindell: Reunion Hill. Lots of other people like this much more than I do, but it's got a flock of gutty and insightful songs. Ben Harper: The Will to Live. Harper opens up and electrifies the sound from his last album. Karan Casey: Songlines. A solo effort from the lead singer of Solas. Great album. (This year's Solas effort, Sunny Spells and Scattered Showers, isn't too bad either, but this is 2-for-2 that the hyper-talented band's effort doesn't quite match up to a solo effort by one of its members.) Harry Goldson: Plays the Big Band Sessions. Untainted by more modern tendencies and aesthetics, this big band album features some incredible arrangements and performances, but manages to dilute the exquisite moods and performance nuances of his more intimate arrangements ... Alison Krauss & Union Station: So Long So Wrong. Some of the tracks (the ones where the guys sing) take some getting used to, but there are 3 or 4 knock-you-flat songs. Ronnie Earl: The Colour of Love. This falls somewhere between blues, jazz, and rock, including some great Santana-esque licks. Great up-beat instrumentals for whatever is cooking. Pat Metheny Group: Imaginary Day. Some of it gets a little far-fetched, but great listening. Great cover artwork. Trance Groove: Paramount. Well, it's kind of acid jazz, a little funky with touches of The Orb and Miles Davis; and (I think ...) it's performance-, rather than sample-, based. Holly Palmer: self-titled. One of those albums I haven't spent enough time with yet to decide if I really really like or not, but I admire its Leonard Cohen qualities. Love Nancy Sugar: Neo Retro Erotipop. Portland, OR band - great female vocalist with understated backgrounds, a lot like 10,000 Maniacs. and ... Sharon Isbin, Paul Winter & Thiago de Mello: Journey to the Amazon; Kenny Wayne Sheppard: Trouble Is ...; Yo La Tengo: I Can Hear The Heart Beating As One; Tony Furtado: Roll My Blues Away; Kelly Joe Phelps: Roll Away the Stone; Hart Rouge: Beaupre's Home; Diane Schuur: Blues for Schuur; April Barrows: My Dream is You. Other Mentions: Paul McCartney: Flaming Pie. First McCartney album I've listened to in ages, and surprise, I actually like it! Bruce Cockburn: The Charity of Night. Some great songs and arrangements, but a little too much filler. ((The story of his life....)) Greg Brown: Slant 6 Mind. He's really pushing the acoustic envelope on some songs; a few gems, but not among his best albums. Cliff Eberhardt: 12 Songs of Good & Evil. Something I listened to quite a bit and ended up liking. Brooks Williams: Seven Sisters. Not as good as Knife Edge. Sky Cries Mary: Moonbathing on Sleeping Leaves. Kind of a disappointment - more mellow and seamless and with definitely less bravado as their previous, This Timeless Turning. U2: Pop. Blah. It's time for this group to re-invent itself (albeit, again) or to just plain retire. ((I stopped buying U2 records some time back. When ``I Will Follow'' burst on the scene some two decades back (uhhh, yeah, it was almost that long ago) there was an brilliance that could not be denied. Now? Ho-hum.))

James: Whiplash. Similar to and better than U2's Pop and from a band we don't hear (or expect) much from, tho not as good as Laid. Morphine: Like Swimming. More Blah (ditto my other comments from U2). Meanwhile, B-Sides and Otherwise is a great collection of this band's quirky noir tendencies. Nigel Kennedy: Kafka. Promising but weird and pretentious. Geoffrey Oryema: Night to Night. This Real World artist is moving farther and farther from his roots and becoming an almost Peter Gabriel sound-alike (at least arrangement-wise). It's a pretty good and very listenable album though. (as promised ...) Jonatha Brooke: 10cent Wings. Other than the aforementioned albums by Amsterburg, Palmer and Casey, I liked this the best for female singer-songwriters. ((Yeah, I liked this one a lot too....)) Beth Nielsen Chapman: Sand and Water. This is good, just not close to the stuff I listen to. Dar Williams: End of the Summer. Some really great songs. But too much tripe unfit even for Fido. Catie Curtis: [self-titled]. Okay, it's pretty good, but I don't think it's as good as her first album, Truth From Lies. Sarah McLachlan: Surfacing. Again, pretty good, but not as good as the previous. ((You know, lots of people say that, but this is the record that made me a fan.)) Ani DiFranco: Living in Clip. I really gotta admire her spunk and prolificness, but little she's done so far has really really grabbed me, and ditto on this. Plus, the chatting gets really old quick.

It's really really really great, but it's from 1996:

Jerry Garcia and David Grisman: Shady Grove. If you're only buying half a dozen albums from this decade, this should be one of them. Ditto, but only really really good: Madelaine Peyroux: Dreamland.

Haven't listened to enough (yet) to know better: Radiohead: OK Computer; new Oasis; new Marcus Roberts; new Spiritualized; Paul Cebar: The Get-Go; Jazz Mandolin Project; Kenneth Newby: Sirens. Didn't Listen to at all (but probably should have): the new Stereolab; new Joan Baez; new Steve Earle; new Laura Love. Best concerts I saw last year (I didn't get out all that much and not too much comes to this corner of the world): Martin Simpson with The Band of Angels; Eddie From Ohio; Leo Kottke opening for John Prine; Claudia Schmidt (twice).

Thanks for allowing the re-write (in haste yet), keep up the good work!

((Phew, but WELL worth the wait! For those of you don't know, Mark has been buried RUNNING a music shop, so he gets to hear lots of things we wouldn't. I know I'm going to root around in this list some....))

Steve Emmert (Fri, 19 Jun 1998 21:30:34 -0400)

Dear Jim-Bob - Here's my second attempt to send you something from my home computer. Let's see if I have better luck sending it than I did the last time.

Once every four years, I am a soccer fan. I have no interest in ``Major League" Soccer, but the World Cup is something different. And I can't say why, except that this is the only sort of nationalism that makes sense to me. In an ever-shrinking world, where national boundaries make less and less difference in economic matters, it's still neat to be able to root for your nation to take out some Bad Guy country, in a war in which no one gets killed (just red-carded). For what it's worth, I pick Germany over Brazil in this year's finals, with the surprise semifinalists being Nigeria and Belgium.

But I haven't changed my opinion on one thing - none of those guys deserve the bijillions of bucks they're getting paid by their regular clubs. Only the hockey goalies deserve it.

I saw on a political talk show recently thast the Republicans are still pushing hard for a flat tax. The current idea is to pass legislation that will repeal the current tax code in five years, with no set replacement - it will be up to Congress to come up with one in the meantime. (Sigh.) This is progress.

Hope you and Charlotte are well. Best wishes.

Drew James (Tue, 07 Jul 1998 12:22:35 -0400)

Jim,

I am enjoying your selection of the best party songs. I consider the 80's to be the best musical decade and I agree with your choice of Modern English. It would make my list as well. Did you give any thought to any of the following from the same era: Devo - ``Whip It", B Movie - ``Nowhere Girl", B-52s - ``Give Me Back My Man" (or the better known ``Rock Lobster"), or Romeo Void - ``I Might Like You Better if We Slept Together". All fall into the category of great party songs by bands that can't be taken seriously. ((Agreed, my supposition going in was that I wasn't going to choose the ``novelty'' dance songs (which most of your choices are) for this list. But I'm willing to be convinced otherwise. I'm starting a ``bullpen'' and we can decide about some of these later. Romeo Void (the real name of the song is ``Never Say Never'') is one of those songs that I quickly grew to hate and still can't stand. This is one of the things that can happen with novelty songs and I was hoping to avoid that kind of controversy (other kinds are welcome). Feel free to try to convince me that Romeo Void weren't just sexist pig assholes.... really, do feel free to try... but that isn't where my dancing shoes are at.))

Are you aware that New Order is in the studio recording a new album? It is supposed to be released at the end of the year. I've heard that both Monoco and Electronic are also working on or will be working on new releases. New Order has scheduled a couple of live dates in England this summer. New Order is my favorite band but, my view is that if their new album sounds like Republic it is time to pack it in for good.

Mike Barno

Hi Jim -

I have a couple of nominations for the Great Party Songs of All Time List. First is Koko Taylor's ``Wang Dang Doodle''. This big ol' gal really put her energy into her music, and this tune rocked the house so thoroughly that it became her signature song. Crank up a good recording of it and you'll want to bounce around the room or yard. ((Damn straight! Believe me, that one was gonna be on my list, so there it is.))

The next song to be submitted for consideration is the tune that turned me on to music at a ``feel it deep inside'' level. The Grateful Dead's ``Fire on the Mountain'', written by Mickey Hart and Robert Hunter and developed over the years by all the band's members, carries a kindly groove that's so conducive to freeform dance flow, crossing paths with different friends at every step or wiggle. It was incredible to watch the full moon rise with this song on a Harman/Kardon stereo through Bose speakers, with a drum circle of six or seven congas, bongo pairs, and so forth, seeing a forest fire burn its way over a mountain a couple of miles away, on the edge of Yellowstone. ((As you know, I'm not a huge Dead fan, neither do I hate them (though I went through an adolescent phase of pique when I was helping to manage our college radio station and trying to keep from being overwhelmed by Dead shows), but I also don't know their songs that well. Could you recommend the best recorded version that I am likely to be able to find (realizing their are infinite numbers of bootlegs) and I'll give it a listen? I might surprise you and agree to put it on the list.))

Enjoyed John Harrington's discussion of relegation among tiered leagues. I had never considered the idea until becoming a United player in the Eighties. John's letter gave me a better idea about teams bouncing up and down between divisions, dropping a level to regroup (real life doesn't give coaching poits for wins), and so forth. He things Indy-car racing has ``lots of overtaking''; well, NASCAR Winston Cup has five times as much passing as wither CART or the IRL, and is much more popular with American fans these days. Certainly the US public prefers lots of action rather than appreciating defense, maneuver, or patience.

``I have never learned ... to play the lyre, but I know how to make a small and obscure city rich and great." (Themistocles, in Plutarch's Lives.)

If you want to submit orders, press, or letters by E-Mail, you can find me through the Internet system at ``burgess of world.std.com''. If anyone has an interest in having an E-Mail address listed so people can negotiate with you by computer, just let me know. FAX orders to (401) 277-9904.

Standby lists: Mike Barno, John Breakwell, Dick Martin, Brad Wilson, Jack McHugh, Glenn Petroski, Steve Emmert, Mark Kinney, Vince Lutterbie, Eric Brosius, Doug Kent, Paul Rauterberg, Doug Essinger-Hileman, Stan Johnson, Harry Andruschak, Dave Partridge, Andy York, Michael Pustilnik, and John Schultz stand by for regular Diplomacy. Sean O'Donnell, Mike Barno and Andy York stand by for the Colonial Diplomacy game. Brad Wilson, Jack McHugh, Paul Kenny, and John Schultz standby for the Modern Diplomacy game. Let me know if you want on or off these lists. Standbies get the szine for free and receive my personal thanks. I'd really appreciate it if anyone wanted to be added to the list.

Not much action in this space lately, is that because I'm offering the wrong games? You could ask me to run something you want to play here, you know.... With games ending, I'd like to start a new Dip game or two. What flavor would people like to see?? This is your chance!

Conrad von Metzke recently finished GMing a black hole game where you can freely jump over black holes instead of having them render spaces impassible. I played in this game and like the tactics of jumping over the black holes a great deal. Now there the black holes were random, but what would happen if you could plan them? The next NYEED game will feature this rule change and will be a 7x7 tourney format unless I am convinced otherwise. I am itching to get this game started, so it will start as soon as it is filled! You get a life of game sub, and the game itself is FREE!! Sandy Kenny, Mike Barno, and John Schultz are signed up. Off an offhanded suggestion in the NYEED press, we'll call it Nelson Mandela. Just four more and we'll get started! Come on, this one will be REALLY exciting!!

I also would really like to open a game of Breaking Away. Is there any interest at all?? Well, David Partridge, John Schultz and the game's designer John Harrington are interested. Others?? See the important note on this opening at the top of the szine! You don't need to own the game to play, I'm going to use Keith Thomasson's house rules that include the ``how to play the game.'' I printed Keith's rules a few issues back, but some of the shaded parts didn't reproduce properly. I'll print the rules properly next issue. I thank John Harrington for encouraging me in this. Hey, this game is free!!

Otherwise Conrad von Metzke is the editor and publisher of Pontevedria, the game openings listing, if you're interested in other game openings. Send Conrad a SASE for the latest issue to: Conrad von Metzke, 4374 Donald Avenue, San Diego, CA 92117.

THE DUE DATE FOR FALL 1995 IS JULY 25TH, 1998

Summer 1995

BRITAIN (Johnson): has f NWG, f SAO, f IRI, f NTH.

EGYPT (J. O'Donnell): has f ESA, a CAI, f RED.

FRANCE (Andruschak): has f NAV, a LYO, a MAR, a AUV.

GERMANY (Rauterberg): has f BHM, a RUH, f DEN, a AUS.

ITALY (Ozog): has a MIL, f MAL, a VEN, f ADR.

POLAND (Sasseville): has f LIT, a CZE, a BIE.

RUSSIA (Goranson): has a MOS, a LAT, a FIN, f ROS, f GOB.

SPAIN (S. O'Donnell): has f WME, a AND, a SVE. TURKEY (Pollard): has a ARM, f ANK, f IST, a BUL.

UKRAINE (Partridge): has a DON, a POD, a RUM, f EBS.

Addresses of the Participants

BRITAIN: Jonas Johnson, 3649 SE 33rd Ave., Portland, OR 97202, (503) 238-4430 ($5)

EcidLor of aol.com

EGYPT: Jeff O'Donnell, 402 Middle Ave., Elyria, OH 44035-5728, (440) 322-2920 ($5)

FRANCE: Harry Andruschak, PO Box 5309, Torrance, CA 90510-5309, (310) 835-9202 ($5)

GERMANY: Paul Rauterberg, 3116 W. American Dr., Greenfield, WI 53221, (414) 281-2339 (E-Mail)

prosit of execpc.com

ITALY: Eric Ozog, PO Box 1138, Granite Falls, WA 98252-1138, (360) 691-4264 ($5)

ElfEric of Juno.com.

POLAND: Roland Sasseville, Jr., 38 Bucklin Street, Pawtucket, RI 02861, (401) 722-4029 ($5)

Djrolandb of aol.com

RUSSIA: Rich Goranson, 10 Hertel Avenue #208, Buffalo, NY 14207-2532, (716) 876-9374 ($5)

ForlornH of aol.com

SPAIN: Sean O'Donnell, 126 S. Park, Oberlin, OH 44074, (440) 774-2928 ($5)

sean_o_donnell of hotmail.com

TURKEY: Kent Pollard, Box 491, Mammoth Hot Springs, Yellowstone National Park, WY 82190, ($5)

UKRAINE: Dave Partridge, 15 Elmer Drive, Nashua, NH 03062-1722, (603) 882-3523 ($9)

rebhuhn of rocketmail.com

Game Notes:

1) Check out the Modern Dip web page at: http://www.dragonfire.net/~ Cyberia/modern.htm

Press:

(THE MEKONS QUOTE OF THE MONTH): ``Here comes pride riding for a fall... Here's to a band that deals in the facts of life; In their ten short ugly years; I wish the Mekons good fortune; I sold them fame and riches; And good health.'' Off of Honky Tonkin' from the tune ``Sympathy for the Mekons'' check out their recommended reading by Alison Assiter, ``Philosophical Materialism or the Conception of History'' in Radical Philosophy, Winter 1979.

(ANDRUSCHAK-GM): As always, I encourage you to edit or eliminate any of my press you feel may be too wordy, uninteresting, or simply not appropriate for TAP. I do tend to ramble sometimes. ((Yes, but generally, I don't edit press much. If you want to do so, please do so yourself.))

(BAD VIAGRA JOKES #1): Did you hear the one about the man who accidentally dropped his entire bottle of pills down the toilet? His wife is angry because she cannot get the toilet seat back down.

(ANDRUSCHAK-CLASSICAL MUSIC LOVERS): KUSC-FM was running its Spring Fund Drive, and it was time for me to renew my membership. This time around I was not interested in any of the CD offers, and could have chosen the basic $40 annual subscription, but I've been a member of AARP for a few years, so I opted for the $25 Seniors Membership. Anybody else reading this have a listener supported classical music station in their area? Our area also has listener supported KLON-FM for jazz.

(ELECTRONICALLY CHALLENGED ANDRUSCHAK-COMPUTER LITERATES): The 27 May LA TIMES newspaper carried an article about the new iMac, scheduled to be on sale by August at a cost of $1,300, designed for internet use. Anybody got information or opinions about this new product, and should I think seriously about buying this product? ((Nothing specific on this, but allow me to put in a vote for getting you E-Mail connected so that you can send me press by Internet. The typewriter you use and typing on both sides of the page makes it difficult to scan it in, and I do more typing on your press than anyone else's, except perhaps Mike Barno's. To do basic E-Mail you really don't need much of a computer. You still can do E-Mail from an old 386 running Windows 3.1 even! This wouldn't urge that on you, but Internet connectivity is pretty absurdly easy these days, except for the curves that bugs in Windows still throws at particularly inopportune times. On this particular computer, I can't access any WWW pages since rushing on April 14th to download some tax forms. Thus, I do WWW on one computer, E-Mail on another. All that might support using Mac technology that I know less about.))

(BAD VIAGRA JOKES #2): Did you hear about the scientist who mixed Viagra with Rogaine and ended up with Don King's hair?

(ANDRUSCHAK-TAP READERSHIP): And just how bad is the freeway traffic in southern California? We now have radio station KKTR 1650 AM with nothing but traffic reports. Three minutes of traffic reports followed by one minute of commercials, over and over again, 24 hours a day. Only in LA.

(NEWSFLASH!): This just in... in a sensational break in the Whitewater Savings and Loan investigation, the White House announced that Johnnie Cochran had been added to President Clinton's defense team. On hearing this news, thousands of Clinton's supporters marched to the office of Special Prosecutor Kenneth Starr chanting, ``if it doesn't fit, you must acquit.'' Film at 11....

(HARRY - OTHER PLAYERS): Apologies for the slowdown in letters this last turn. The problem was Jury Duty in downtown LA. Instead of my usual easy 20 minute drive to work, I had to struggle on the Harbor Freeway during the heaviest part of the morning and evening commutes. I arrived home exhausted. And the whole exercise ws a ghastly waste of time since I was always challenged by the lawyers. I have come to the conclusion that what lawyers REALLY want is 12 gullible sheep with an IQ of 80 or less. I have MENSA-level IQ. Baaaaa.....

(FRANCE-EGYPT): Thank you for your postcard whihc I received without a postmark on 8 June. I congratulate you on your most excellent Diplomacy that left the EME empty. May we assume an E/T Juggernaut alliance is forming? You should have no problems picking up two neutral SCs (SAU and ISR) and perhaps a third (LIB). By the way, Torrance is nowhere near San Francisco (n*e*v*e*r call it ``Frisco''). It is a medium-sized city, part of Los Angeles County, in what is known locally as the South Bay Area.

(ANDRUSCHAK-GORANSON): Excuse me, but that's MISTER Level Nine Electronics Technician Tour II Slime to the likes of you. And grovel when you say that < g > Seriously now, LA has had a lot of technicians who have retired, quit in disgust for private sector jobs, been fired for drug use and/or theft, or who have transferred out to Post Offices elsewhere. Right now we are seriously under-staffed in both Technicians and MPE Mechanics. So under-staffed that my request for two weeks off in August for a vacation to Greece was denied. I am at the top of the PAR for a Friday/Saturday bid, but it will probably be several years before such a bid is available.

(ANDRUSCHAK-GORANSON II): You might have a note of the fact that all the money coming in from that one cent stamp increase is earmarked for bonuses to managers and supervisors only, none for the workers. ((Contingent on the outcome of the fall bargaining talks.... of course.))

(ANDRUSCHAK-GORANSON III): Back when KUSC-FM was trying out ``The New Sound Of Classical Music'' format, they did carry The Schickele Mix and it bombed badly. The show always opened with a pompous, portentious, and pretentious comment about all music being equal and that if it sounded good, it WAS good. No argument there, really. Just about every classical music lover I know also has collections of other kinds of music. But, when they turned to a classical music station, it was because they wanted to listen to classical music, not an eclectic mix from Mr. Peter Schickele who, in my own humble opinion, and that of many of the KUSC subscribers, lacked taste and judgment. The Schickele Mix is gone from KUSC nowadays, and I have no interest in finding out it moved to another station in the LA area.

(ANDRUSCHAK-POPE): ``Ubi possum potiri petasi similis isti?'' (Translation: Where can I get a hat like that?)

(FRANCE-SPAIN): Thank you for your phone call of 11 June. Yes, Britain can move that southern fleet to any of 4 SCs: GIB, MOR, POR, or SEV. Good luck on guessing which one. Remember that if you and he bounce over Gibraltar, he WILL build a second fleet in Gibraltar. Don't let it spoil your lunch.

(ANDRUCHAK-GM): Did another thorough check, and now agree with you. It is indeed 64 SCs and 33 to win.

(RICK to HARRY ANDRUSCHAK): Oh of course, France is the weakling, boo-hoo, poor you.

Seriously, I said France was my fave, I did not say I thought it was the strongest. It certainly is not that. As for rankings, I completely agree about Italy, but not Britain. Britain has major problems getting further than Scandinavia and the Low Countries. (Hey, Jonas, build armies!) Italy rocks - my only solo victory was as Italy in a Judge game. I don't think I had Tunisia or Libya at the end of that game, but I had most of the East. Toby Tyrell won a game I GMed as Italy, and he went the other way - to Gibraltar and France.

The rankings I cited were based on the results in games thus far. As I said, they are pretty skewed by Spain's success recently. A year ago Italy was in the top three.

My personal ratings (strength): 1. Turkey 2. Italy 3. Egypt (basically whoever wins the Southeast is the strongest power) 4. Russia 5. Spain 6. Ukraine 7. Poland 8. France 9. Germany 10. Britain (whoever wins the Northwest is, well, still a weakling in the endgame).

Fun value for playing: 1. France 2. Italy 3. Russia 4. Egypt 5. Britain 6. Spain 7. Germany 8. Turkey 9. Ukraine 10. Poland.

(P to U): OK, I am playing the odds you convinced me. It is like having a hot tip on the third race. The horse's name is toilet seat; put all ya can on it.

(UKRAINE-POLAND): Hey, who is this guy that keeps attempting a lame impersonation of me? The press last time was worse than Spain's handwriting.

(P to R): Are you cross gaming or am I just in the way? Someday we may yet ally. Perhaps even in this game. But I never expected Moscow to Latvia. Not subtle at all.

(PALACE OF VERSAILLES): Prime Minister Andruschak looked up from the pile of reports in front of him. ``So just who is this alleged ``shrink'' who wants us to carry straight jackets and happy pills?'' 11We think it is the notorious Don Williams,'' replied a secretary. ``He seems to think that we are attacking Spain instead of setting up a defensive line against Italy. Don tends to be unreliable in his assessment of which direction is which.'' ``Do we HAVE straight jackets and happy pills?'' asked another minister. ``No, but we do have that new R&R ship sailing with the First Fleet, currently off the Spanish coast and heading for the Atlantic. How about we give the Spanish Minister an unlimited pass to the Lupanar?'' Smiles around the table greeted this proposal, and the pass was duly sent off. ``If that doesn't keep him happy, and assure him of our good intentions, nothing will.''

(TURKISH SCIENCE FICTION CLUB to FRANCE): We still have not received your last payment. Please reconsider. ``A Turk goes to Mars'' is a fine work of science fiction....

(BAD VIAGRA JOKES #3): Last night a street gang broke into the local pharmacy and stole the entire stock of Viagra. Police are warning the public to be on the lookout for these hardened criminals.

(KIRK to SCOTTY): I need more power to fight Klingons.

(SCOTTY to KIRK): I'll give it all I can Captain. Maybe I'll beam over some cute tribbles and then the Russians won't hate us anymore uh I mean Klingons. Roddenberry wasn't always subtle either.

(GENERAL ((Indecipherable... Sean isn't the only one with difficult handwriting ;-)) to EGYPT): As you can see, Turkish forces have deployed to the North. There is no indication of military aggression aimed towards your border. Only now have we received our special order of Armored Personnel Carriers.

(FRANCE-GERMANY): Thank you for your letter of 10 June. My main reason for wanting Switzerland is simple. No matter who has it, the other two powers will need to garrison the home SCs adjacent to Switzerland. If Italy or Germany has Switzerland, France must tie down two armies in defense. If France has Switzerland, Germany and Italy need tie down only one army each in defense. And no, I would NOT be insulted by such a lack of trust in my honesty. I am sure we can work out a better arrangement as the game progresses.

(AMBASSADOR ATATURK PO-LLARD): It is a good thing to see Her Majesties and the Navies of Germany moving in such an eloquent manner. I welcome the prospect of entertaining both Admirals to a cup of fine Turkish coffee. Perhaps you both follow an old Koranic verse: ``Disquiet is worse than killing.''

(M. BARNO to K. POLLARD): Forgive the lad Sean; too unaware of his true nature and heritage to correctly spell Clan MacLeod's noble name. There can be only One; plus one per episode to kill; plus a protege and a few friends to kill last, once all the bad guys have blown their challenges; plus occasionally one to screw before he has to behead her and suck her soul energy. This is a hero??

(BOOB to EVERYONE ELSE): I'm not sure if I follow all that.... Sean himself submitted lots of press, but decided to pull it. Interesting.

THE DUE DATE FOR SUMMER 1903 IS JULY 25TH, 1998

Spring 1903

BRITAIN (Johnson): f ADEN S f wio-goa, a PUN-kar, a hyd-BOM, f wio-GOA,

f HK S FRENCH a ton-can, f SIN S f mal-js, a kam-TIB, f per-SHI, f cey-EIO,

a ben S FRENCH a ran-u.bur (d r:nep,luc,hyd,otb), f SCS-sun.s, f MAL-js. CHINA (Goranson): a NAN-can, a uru-MON, a u.bur-BEN, a ASS S a u.bur-ben,

a CHU-sik, a MAC h.

FRANCE (Sasseville): f coc-GOS, f ANN-scs, a ton-CAN, a MAY S a ran-u.bur,

a can-YUN, a ran-U.BUR, f FOR h. HOLLAND (Desper): f BOR-js, f SIO S f bor-js, f cs-SUL.S, a SUM h,

f JS-sun.s, f dav-CEBU.

JAPAN (Dwyer): f kyu-UP, a fus-SEO, f vla-OS, f YS S a fus-seo, f SOJ S a fus-seo, a irk-VLA.

RUSSIA (Williams): f ode-BLA, a mos-ODE, a omsk-KRA, f P.ART-mac,

a TAB S BRITISH f per-shi, a SEM-kir, a mon-PEK, a KAG-kir, f seo(wc)-ys (d ann),

a SIK-chu, f ANG S f ode-bla.

TURKEY (Tallman): f ARA.S S f pg-kar, f MED-bla, a sud-EGY,

f goa-aden (d r:ara,rs,eri,som,otb), f pg-KAR.

Addresses of the Participants

BRITAIN: Jonas Johnson, 3649 SE 33rd Ave., Portland, OR 97202, (503) 238-4430 ($8)

EcidLor of aol.com

CHINA: Rich Goranson, 10 Hertel Avenue #208, Buffalo, NY 14207-2532, (716) 876-9374 ($5)

ForlornH of aol.com

FRANCE: Roland Sasseville, Jr., 38 Bucklin Street, Pawtucket, RI 02861, (401) 722-4029 ($5)

Djrolandb of aol.com

HOLLAND: Rick Desper, Im Neuenheimer Feld 370, 69120 Heidelberg, GERMANY (E-Mail)

desper of math.rutgers.edu

JAPAN: Luke Dwyer, 49 Middlesex Drive, Slingerlands, NY 12159, (518) 439-5796 ($4)

RUSSIA: Don Williams, 27505 Artine Drive, Saugus, CA 91350, (805) 297-3947 ($7)

wllmsfmly of earthlink.net

TURKEY: Terry Tallman, 3805 SW Lake Flora Road, Port Orchard, WA 98367, (360) 874-0386 ($0)

ttallman of linknet.kitsap.lib.wa.us

GM: Jim-Bob Burgess, 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327, (401) 351-0287

Game Notes:

1) More hot action, but not much to say on game notes.

2) Except that Rick Desper is on the move in Germany. He will be at this address for about two months. His E-Mail from Rutgers appears to still be good and he will update me if that changes.

Press:

(TIM RICE QUOTE OF THE MONTH): ``I'm not that ill. Bad moments come but they go. Some days are hard, some a little bit harder. But that doesn't mean I should change my routine. Have you ever seen me defeated?" - ``Waltz for Eva and Che" from Evita.

(TOAD to BOOB AND AAOF'S): I actually have an evening home to try and get caught up a little (today is July 4th). When we lived on the beach facing Seattle we always had company over to watch the downtown fireworks. Several years ago we started going to my Uncle's for a picnic with various segments of the clan and friends of his kids and some of his in-laws. It was a nice day but overcast. More horse adventures tomorrow.

(FRENCH HQ NEW ENGLAND REGION to BOARD): It's a good thing nobody is invading here. Your troops and equipment would be stuck in the mud and slaughtered.

(TOAD to FRANCE AND HOLLAND): You two seem be dancing the backwater tango very nicely.

(TOAD to JAPAN): You REALLY need an ally.

(MULDER to SCULLY): I don't believe yet but....

(SCULLY to MULDER): The truth is out there and I know you will find it in a movie theater this weekend. When you get to the scene with the Colonial DIP map board you will see that aliens control the Russian, British, and French pieces. You will also notice that the Russian alien is looking a little different. He had two knives in a previous scene and suddenly his knives are both gone.

(BOOB to X-FILES): And the truth is that the X-Files movie sucked the big one. It wasn't anywhere near as good as their last episode of the season, which in itself was not that great. As one who saw the benefit in taking the Star Trek series to the big screen, I saw no benefits, only losses in taking the X-Files series to the big screen - big special effects that felt out of place, loss of the intimacy (meant in the wider sense) of the Mulder and Scully relationship, and a REAL difficulty with the way the ``conspiracy'' played out on the big screen. I'm sure it made money, but it was an artistic failure. Can you say Swan Lake??

(TOAD to DUCK): How you gonna get access to the big lake?

(DUTCH HEADQUARTERS RE-OPENED TODAY WITH A FLOURISH): ``Man, have we been busy" said Vice Premier Chef. ``You wouldn't believe the things going on down here."

In an effort to help the British cause abroad, the British ambassador, the 8-year old exchange student `Pip', was tossed out of the country.

Relations with China became strained after the Team Dodgeball tournament. There were many casualties. Kenny died.

President Reagan issued a statement today to the effect that the Dutch forces were preparing to march on Belgium. When informed that Belgium was thousands of miles away, ``Dutch" Reagan replied, ``What? Hey Buddy? What's going on? Look over there? Relax, take a load off!"

(TOAD to RUSSIA): You were the target of choice for EVERYONE from the get-go.

(LONELY BOY to CHINA): Why wasn't I invited?

(TOAD to BRIT): I think you will have as much luck turning your back on him as I did. And I did really try to hold the three way together. The duck wanted to take you down from the first. The fact that it wasn't possible from the get-go didn't seem to make much difference.

(RADIO FREE ASIA COMMERCIAL MESSAGE): Kill cream a little stab will do you. Kill cream running 'cross the board. Kill cream will make the allies hate you. (THE TURKISH STEAM BATH): The barbarian was surprised that the Duck had invited him in for a ritual cleansing. But as the fluid in the vat began to harden it all came clear. The continuous trail of small bars of soap from a variety of cheap motels that the Brit kept dropping, ``Could you pick that up for me?" The adequate pre-game rep of the sheep loving chinese person, that went up in flames at the first siting of non-roast duck. The invisible men in Holland and France, the chaotic-gonzo character in Japan. ``Yes," he thought, ``Dot grabbing zitters, post zitters, and Mark Berch wanna-be's (sigh)." The duck came to the edge of the marble pool and stuck a feather into the combination ready-mix, super glue, instant butterscotch pudding and hummus. ``Damn," he quacked, ``I thought the Brit was kidding. I never really thought I could pull this off." As he turned away the barbarian noted that the t-shirt the duck was wearing said, ``Property of the Queen, if found please pry any dots out of its bill and return them to England." It further said, ``No deposit no return on the body." The barbarian noted that the mixture was actually rather comfortable. And it wasn't actually as though he had expected the duck to come through on any of his commitments. After all, when had he in the past? So the barbarian relaxed into the setting goo and thought, ``This too will pass...but I won't forget......."

RUSSIA WINS!! ENDGAME STATEMENTS DUE AUGUST 15TH, 1998

Fall 1909

AUSTRIA (Ellis): a TYO S GERMAN a vie, a TRI S GERMAN a vie, f ION-eas (d r:alb,adr,apu,nap,otb).

ENGLAND (Pollard): f TUN S AUSTRIAN f ion (otm).

FRANCE (Dwyer): a pic-BEL, f NTH-den, a HOL-kie, f TYH S GERMAN f ion, f NWG C a edi-nwy, f LON-nth, a EDI-nwy, f BAR S a edi-nwy,

a mun S a hol-kie (d r:kie,otb), a BUR S a mun.

GERMANY (Emmert): a vie h (d ann).

RUSSIA (Sherwood): f STP(NC) S a nwy, a GAL S a bud-vie, a ukr-RUM, a NWY h,

a SIL S a kie-mun, a BOH-tyo, f SMY-eas, a bud-VIE, f SWE-den, a SER-tri,

f GRE S f aeg-ion, a kie-MUN, f HEL-kie, a BUL-ser, a BER S a kie-mun, f aeg-ION.

Supply Center Chart

AUSTRIA (Ellis):

tri,ven,rom,nap

(has 4, survives)

ENGLAND (Pollard):

tun

(has 1, survives)

FRANCE (Dwyer):

bre,par,mar,por,spa,lon,edi,lvp,

(has 10, survives)

bel,hol

GERMANY (Emmert):

none

(out)

RUSSIA (Sherwood):

stp,mos,war,sev,swe,ank,nwy,con,

(has 19, WINS!)

smy,den,kie,mun,bul,rum,ber,gre,bud,ser,vie

Neutral:

none

(Total=34)

Addresses of the Participants

AUSTRIA: Randy Ellis, Box 1000, Jackson Lake Lodge, Moran, WY 83013 ($10)

ENGLAND: Kent Pollard, Box 491, Mammoth Hot Springs, Yellowstone National Park, WY 82190, ($5)

FRANCE: Luke Dwyer, 49 Middlesex Drive, Slingerlands, NY 12159, (518) 439-5796 ($4)

GERMANY: Steve Emmert, 1752 Grey Friars Chase, Virginia Beach, VA 23456, (757) 471-1842

SEMMERT of city.virginia-beach.va.us ITALY: Mark Kinney, 3613 Coronado Drive, Louisville, KY 40241, (502) 426-8165

alberich of iglou.com

RUSSIA: Keith Sherwood, 8873 Pipestone Way, San Diego, CA 92129, (619) 484-8367 ($4)

ksher of cts.com or Keith_Sherwood of Intuit.com TURKEY: Roland Sasseville, Jr., 38 Bucklin Street, Pawtucket, RI 02861, (401) 722-4029 ($3) GM: Jim-Bob Burgess, 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327, (401) 351-0287

Game Notes:

1) Congratulations to Keith on another win in The Abyssinian Prince. What does that make your record here now, Keith? Something like two wins and one two way draw?? Just a personal observation, but I enjoy end game tactics (especially when they can be combined with interesting Diplomacy) and am always slightly disappointed when wins are not blocked which could have been blocked. In my view, that includes two of the wins in this issue.... Here, I would have tried the ``chancy move'' for Randy of A Tri-Bud, A Tyo-Tri to give up on my loyal German ally who couldn't be saved anyway, but hoping to trade Budapest for Vienna. As Keith's moves played out this would have worked and I would have gained back a center. Then, if France had won the guessing game between Norway and Denmark (there I probably would have done the move Luke tried and been wrong, though as I look at it now, double supporting the convoy looks like a better move - and I think it would have saved the game for another year). Was I missing something?? Of course, the game SURELY would have been lost next year unless Randy also told his allies he was moving to bounce Keith in Eastern Med so one or the other could have been supported to Ionian to keep Randy as a beleaguered garrison.

2) And speaking of Randy, what would this game be without yet one more address change from Randy?? Not for nuttin'....

Press:

(RUSSIA): Gentlemen, good game. ((And to you as well... here's one part of the story as to why British and Austrian moves were not coordinated on this last turn.... I couldn't resist some parenthetical comments, realizing that doing that to stories generally is not fair... I'm sure Kent won't mind.))

(AMBASSADOR POLLARD to THE WORLD): Well, Gentlemen, it seems our time together has just about ended. It has been Grand! It would seem that my former Allies (France and Russia) are taking over beloved Europe! Let us stand tall. I shall tell you all about a little expedition I recently completed....

Rumors of the whereabouts of Ambassador Ellis have been circling for months. With that in mind I and the infamous Baron Von Steuben crossed the Atlantic and continued by train until we reached Yellowstone National Park. There we mounted horses and with our entourage we began to search for the man of Austria. We ended up at the shores of Yellowstone Lake. There we combed its sandy shores. Day and night we hiked and wondered at this vast wilderness. In the end we found nothing....

My staff then contacted me. I had to return. Apparently the armies of Europe were being annihilated at an astonishing rate. Good God! Such carnage. I would have to tour the Red Cross Stations and give what support I could. Upon returning to Europe, at one of the grisly scenes I witnessed an absolutely miraculous event. There, right in front of my eyes, was Mike Barno! He was cutting into a cadaver. ((Doing a surreptitious Agent Scully no doubt....)) It was the most unselfish act of the War! He seemed content. Almost happy. All around him. Completely surrounding him. Death! The Dead spoke to him. ((So that's what happened to Jerry Garcia.... spirited away to the European battlefield in dark of night.)) I realized what fate had in store for the man. Instantly the moment hit me. What an honorable, sacrificial, sacrosanct event this was. He was giving of himself as I never could or would. The calling of the Royal Mortician was now his. I was overjoyed! Baron von Steuben seemed quite sobered and was heard to say, ``It does suit him. His hands are well made for the suturing of the dead.''

Now as it ends, I can feel hope that we who survive and those who do not will in the end be comforted by the knowledge that we are never alone. Someone will always be tending or watching or handling the people and disposing of them, correctly....

(TURKISH CHEF to SHERWOOD): In no way is Sasseville a common roadkill. In our finest restaurants we season it and serve it as a great delicacy. Sherwood on the other hand we don't even burn in the fireplace due to the bad smell from the smoke. Anyway, if I may make a brief pre end game comment my demise was mostly your fault.

(GERMANY to RUSSIA): My, how the mighty hath grown haughty! Well, here's my reply, to the extent I can recall my Melville: ``To the end, I will grapple with thee. With my last breath, I spit at thee. From the heart of Hell, I stab at thee!"

(GERMANY to PROVIDENCE): I know, just cussin' at him won't do much, but when you're out of ammo, you just cuss.

(SKYWALKER to SHERWOOD): It appears that you may have won. Unless I got really lucky (which I doubt), you should win this turn. If you do, congratulations on a very well played game.

(AUSTRIA-RUSSIA): Congratulations!

(VB to SD): Actually, we never had any deal to keep me alive under any conditions. As you will no doubt recall, my reply to your offer along those lines was ``Pound sand, junior."

(LAWYER to TURBOTAX): From the viewpoint of my keyboard, the only advantage I saw to electronic filing was the speed with which I got my refund. Other than that, I thought it was easier to do it manually. But this comes from the son of an accountant, so maybe I'm not the typical example.

THE DUE DATE FOR FALL 1910 IS JULY 25TH, 1998

Summer 1910

ENGLAND (Lowrey): has f NTH, a YOR, a HOL, f MID, f BAR,

f DEN, f BAL, a STP.

FRANCE (Rauterberg): has a BUR, a PIE, a RUH, a KIE, f GOL,

f WES, a TYO, a ROM.

GERMANY (Kent): has a BOH, a SIL, f HEL, a MUN.

RUSSIA (Williams): has a SEV.

TURKEY (Sherwood): has a CON, a TRI, a SER, a RUM, a MOS, f BLA,

a GAL, f ADR, f TYH, a VIE, f TUN, a APU, f ION.

Addresses of the Participants

AUSTRIA: Terry Tallman, 3805 SW Lake Flora Road, Port Orchard, WA 98367, (360) 874-0386 ($7)

ttallman of linknet.kitsap.lib.wa.us

ENGLAND: Michael Lowrey, 4322 Water Oak Road, Charlotte, NC 28211

mlowrey of charlotte.infi.net

ENGLAND EMERITUS: Tom Nash, 202 Settlers Road, St. Simons Island, GA 31522, (912) 634-1753 ($4)

75763.707 of CompuServe.COM

FRANCE: Paul Rauterberg, 3116 W. American Dr., Greenfield, WI 53221, (414) 281-2339 ($10)

prosit of execpc.com

GERMANY: Doug Kent, 10214 Black Hickory Rd., Dallas, TX 75243 (214) 234-8386 ($5)

73567.1414 of CompuServe.COM ITALY: Simon Billenness, 452 Park Drive, Apt. 7, Boston, MA 02215, (617) 423-6655 ($5)

sbillenness of frdc.com RUSSIA: Don Williams, 27505 Artine Drive, Saugus, CA 91350, (805) 297-3947

wllmsfmly of earthlink.net

RUSSIA EMERITUS: Ken Peel, 12041 Eaglewood Court, Silver Spring, MD 20902, (301) 949-4055 ($5)

KEN_PEEL of hagel.senate.gov

TURKEY: Keith Sherwood, 8873 Pipestone Way, San Diego, CA 92129, (619) 484-8367

ksher of cts.com or Keith_Sherwood of Intuit.com

TURKEY EMERITUS: Pete Gaughan, 1236 Detroit Av. #7, Concord, CA 94520-3651, (510) 825-2165 ($4)

gaughan of ix.netcom.com

GM: Jim-Bob Burgess, 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327, (401) 351-0287

Game Notes (back from the tropopause): 1) The game specific standby list for this game includes Garret Schenck, Cathy Cunning Ozog, Mike Mills, Dick Martin, Vince Lutterbie, and Eric Brosius in reverse alphabetical order (note that Garret is STILL missing... someone find him!). Guest press from potential standbys would be a ``good thing'' if they wanted to be chosen.

2) I am hereby officially ABANDONING the press requirements for this game. Anything I would say further would fit under the category of apologies that I have mentioned at the head of the szine. Still, we do have some press....

Press: (LONDON-SEV): Don, nice meeting you at WDC. Hope you enjoyed the weekend.

(PREMIER FROG to DISGRUNTLED SULTAN): Ach, so we got in the first punch mon ami...! It was ours by divine right and you know it. The Blab spoiled our little surprise just a slight bit, but he could not deflect it. We just got to hear you squeal like a stuck pig a little earlier, oink, oink!

(THE BLABBING BOOB to PREMIER FROG): Excusez moi, excusez moi, merci, merci, s'il vous plait!

I'm holding my write-up on Ghods too until I have more space and time. The game history AND all of the negotiating letters may be found in the Diplomatic Pouch showcase:

/Showcase/ghodstoo/

This is FASCINATING reading. I've heard some comments that this IS fascinating reading. I apologize for some of the formatting difficulties in the way the program edited the press. Would anyone like to make comments for print? If I don't get around to this shortly, I might drop it..... you guys know that I just leave these notes in here as a ``shopping list'' to remind myself and that I am most likely to get off my butt in responding to comments by any of you.

AUSTRIA: Edi Birsan (edi of mgames.com);

ENGLAND: Jamie Dreier (James_Dreier of brown.edu);

FRANCE: John Barkdull (uejon of ttacs1.ttu.edu);

GERMANY: Pitt Crandlemire (pittc of syncon.com);

ITALY: Cal White (diplomat of idirect.com);

RUSSIA: Mark Fassio (jm2365 of exmail.usma.army.mil, fazfam of juno.com);

TURKEY: Hohn Cho (hohncho of kaiwan.com).

GM: Jim Burgess (burgess of world.std.com)

USIN judge: judge of kleiman.indianapolis.in.us

((The main point of this game was to take some successful E-Mail players, some successful FTF tournament players, and some successful PBM players, put them in a game together using the Judge E-Mail technology and see what happens. The game ended in a France/England/Turkey DIAS draw.))

FRANCE WINS!! ENDGAME STATEMENTS DUE AUGUST 15TH, 1998

Fall 1916

FRANCE (Rauterberg): f eng-NTH, f wes-TYH, f HEL S a ruh-kie, f DEN-swe, a bel-RUH,

a bur-MUN, a ruh-KIE, f BAL-ber, a HOL S a ruh-kie, a PIE S a ven,

a EDI plays ``Amazing Grace'' on the bagpipes, f adr-ION, a VEN h, f NAP S f adr-ion,

f APU S f adr-ion, f NWY-swe, f TUN S f adr-ion.

GERMANY (Zarr): a mun-SIL, a tyo-BOH, a ber-PRU, a kie-ber (d ann), a VIE S a tyo-boh,

a STP h, f GOB-swe.

TURKEY (Johnson): NMR, SEE NOTE; f AEG h, a TRI h, a LVN h, f ion h (d r:eas,otb),

a BUD h, a boh h (d ann), a SER h, a GAL h, f ALB h, f GRE h.

Supply Center Chart

FRANCE (Rauterberg):

bre,par,mar,bel,por,spa,lvp,

(has 19, WINS!)

lon,tun,rom,nap,ven,hol,swe,edi,nwy,den,kie,mun

GERMANY (Zarr):

ber,stp,war,mos,vie

(has 5, survives)

TURKEY (Johnson):

ank,con,smy,bul,sev,rum,bud,

(has 10, survives)

ser,gre,tri

Neutral:

none

(Total=34)

Addresses of the Participants

FRANCE: Paul Rauterberg, 3116 W. American Drive, Greenfield, WI 53221, (414) 281-2339

prosit of execpc.com

GERMANY: Harold Zarr, 215 Glen Drive, Iowa Falls, IA 50126-1957, (515) 648-2821

RUSSIA: Eric Brosius, 53 Bird Street, Needham MA 02192 ($5)

72060.1540 of CompuServe.COM

TURKEY: Stan Johnson, 1254 East Broadway Road #56, Mesa, AZ 85204, (602) 668-1105

GM: Jim-Bob Burgess, 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327, (401) 351-0287

Game Notes:

1) The GTF draw is rejected.

2) I don't have orders from Stan, but there was no possible move that he could have made to prevent Paul's win (though he could have prevented the dislodgement from the Ionian Sea). I elected not to call Stan, though I thank him and Harold for playing out the positions. Germany, of course, could have prevented the win this season by supporting F Nwy-Swe with F GOB and moving A Stp-Nwy while NOT retreating from Munich. I just thought I would mention that....

3) Congratulations to Paul! Three winners in one issue, wow!!

Press:

(FRANCE to WORLD): Now, now, don't walk out on the world theater just as I'm ushering in a new age....

THE DUE DATE FOR SPRING 1919 IS JULY 25TH, 1998

Winter 1918

AUSTRIA (Davis): has a BUD.

FRANCE (Zarr): rem a bur, f eng; has a GAS, f BRE, a MAR,

a POR, f SPA(NC), f MID.

GERMANY (Jones): bld f kie, f ber; has f KIE, f BER, a HOL, a GAL, a MOS, a VIE, a BOH,

a MUN, a TYO, a LVP, a BEL, a UKR, f NTH, f EDI.

TURKEY (Weiss): has a BUL, f ION, f BLA, a RUM, a VEN,

a TRI, a SER, f GOL, a SEV, f WES, f NAF, f PIE, f ADR.

Addresses of the Participants

AUSTRIA: Rick Davis, 2009 Bodega Avenue, Petaluma, CA 94952, (707) 773-1044

redavis914 of aol.com FRANCE: Harold Zarr, 215 Glen Drive, Iowa Falls, IA 50126-1957, (515) 648-2821

GERMANY: Charles Jones, 1722 Quail Circle, Corona, CA 91720-4155, (909) 735-8981

RUSSIA: Eric Schlegel, 314 Fords Lane, Aberdeen, MD 21001, (410) 272-3314

TURKEY: Richard Weiss, 500 Beale St. # 104, San Francisco, CA 94105, (415) 512-7221 rcw of sirius.com

GM: Jim-Bob Burgess, 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327, (401) 351-0287

Game Notes:

1) The FAGT draw and the concession to Germany are rejected. The FAGT, FGT, and FG draws are proposed, as well as the concession to Germany. Please vote with your Spring orders. Failure to vote vetoes all proposals as usual.

Press:

(GERMANY >> > TURKEY): I still would like to see Austria die. I'll support you into Budapest. I'd support the Martins into Budapest. I'd support cockroaches into Budapest. Wait; I already said that I'd support the Turk into Budapest, sorry, Jim-Bob, I'm repeating myself. How about just letting me kill Austria? He doesn't deserve to survive. He made you the man that you are today, so why not be a man and let's finish him off. Send him to the happy hunting ground. You know.

(HZ to MB): Who are you? Have you played this game very long?

(GERMANY >> > TURKEY): I'll answer your press from last issue, to BOOB. Russia is listed in the players section, because I personally had the most satisfaction in killing him. If any players wish to write him and point out how poorly he played Jim felt that we needed his address. He stabbed me, but being the better player I got the win over him. You should have kept your back issues and moves straight. Everyone in this game felt bad when Russia stabbed me, and again they all felt even worse when the Austrian stabbed me. So we must teach that Austrian dipstick a lesson in manners. Never stab unless you can kill, or win. Never stab a better player, in this example me. Never stab a smarter player, again in this example me. Never ally with Turkey, in this example you. Never allow a player to get you into the jaws of the Tiger, in this case you. Never ally with anyone who lives in a third world toilet bowl country, again you. Never ally with Turkey if you are playing Austria. Never all with Turkey if you are not Turkey, because after the Turkish player reaches 6, yes count them 6, centers he is harder to kill than most sexually transmuted diseases.

(FRA-TUR): How many times do I have to tell you people I want this game to end? You must work in military intelligence to be as dense as you appear to be. Still, given that you live in the land of fruits and nuts, your statements come as no surprise.

(GERMANY >> > AUSTRIA): When playing Austria, you should Kill Turkey. Ally with Russia or Italy, and kill Turkey. Never ally with Turkey. Always keep the Turkish player to under 5 centers, 4 is better. Always remember it's you or Turkey. Rick, you made a stupid alliance and deserve to be eliminated. When playing Austria again remember that as long as the Turk is alive you are in danger, you dip! Never bother Germany, he's too hard to kill from your position. Where did you learn to play this game? Did you learn to play, before you started this game? The only player who can ally with Turkey and hope to live through it is England, and they are really too far apart to make it work well. Read the game players guide to Diplomacy. Remember this rule. Kill Turkey, kill Turkey, kill Turkey, kill Turkey, and kill Turkey again for good measure!

(BOOB to GERMANY): Hey, what about me?? You're abusing everyone else, don't forget about your lonely GM!!

(GERMANY >> > FRANCE): Yes, I need both the English Channel and Burgundy to disband or move those two units first. I think that even the dullard in the south will see that his best hope is a three way.

(FRA-GER): Let's make sure that we coordinate our movements very carefully so that you can take over my supply centers without any danger that Turkey might get even one of them.

(GERMANY >> > MIKE B): Cede your position back to Yellowstone. I decided that Jim-Bob made you up, and that you do not really exist. ((Come on, I'm not that good...)) You are make believe person that Jim is using to get the players in this game to write press. And, the sad thing is, it works every time. I think that Austria should cede his position to you so I can kill you off.

(THE GENUINE MIKE B to HAROLD Z): I didn't write issue 204's press; instead I think you're actively using a valid option in hopes of bringing about a desired result. I just don't see why the difference between a 3-way and a 4-way is worth all the extra time and trouble, not to mention trashing your position. Now if you can shake things loose enough for someone to go for a win, resulting in revived interplayer dynamics, it'll be worthwhile.

FRANCE WINS!! ENDGAME STATEMENTS DUE AUGUST 15TH, 1998

Fall 1912

AUSTRIA (Pustilnik): a GRE-ser.

ENGLAND (Hoffman): a stp-NWY, a MOS S a stp (otm), f LON h, f DEN h, f nao-IRI.

FRANCE (James): a par-BUR, a mar-PIE, a PIC-bel, f ENG S a pic-bel, a RUH S a pic-bel,

f MID S f eng, f LVP h, a EDI h, a SER-rum, f BUL(SC)-gre, f SMY S f con, f tyh-ION,

a BUD S a vie, a VIE S a bud, f CON S f smy. GERMANY (Emmert): f NTH S f bel, a MUN-ruh, f BEL h, f kie-HOL,

a sil-BER, a GAL h, a boh-TYO, a SEV S a rum, a RUM h.

RUSSIA (Schultz): a ANK-smy.

Supply Center Chart

AUSTRIA (Pustilnik):

gre

(has 1, survives)

ENGLAND (Hoffman):

lon,nwy,swe,stp,mos,den

(has 6, survives)

FRANCE (James):

bre,par,mar,por,spa,ven,tun,

(has 18, WINS!)

nap,tri,vie,bul,smy,lvp,con,rom,bud,ser,edi

GERMANY (Emmert):

mun,kie,ber,hol,war,sev,rum,bel

(has 8, survives)

RUSSIA (Schultz):

ank

(has 1, survives)

Neutral:

none

(Total=34)

Addresses of the Participants

AUSTRIA: Michael Pustilnik, 140 Cadman Plaza West, #13J, Brooklyn, NY 11201, (718) 625-0651 ($7)

ENGLAND: Karl Hoffman, 395 Imperial Way #220, Daly City, CA 94015, (650) 991-2394

KarlHoffmn of aol.com

FRANCE: Drew James, 8356 Radian Path, Baldwinsville, NY 13027-9357, (315) 652-1956

dkbn of msn.com

GERMANY: Steve Emmert, 1752 Grey Friars Chase, Virginia Beach, VA 23456, (757) 471-1842

SEMMERT of city.virginia-beach.va.us ITALY: Dan Gorham, PO Box 279, Belmopan, Belize, CENTRAL AMERICA

Danielg of btl.net RUSSIA: John Schultz, #19390, Marion County Jail II, 730 East Washington Street, Indianapolis, IN 46202 TURKEY: Harry Andruschak, PO Box 5309, Torrance, CA 90510-5309, (310) 835-9202

GM: Jim-Bob Burgess, 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327, (401) 351-0287

GM EMERITUS: Garret Schenck, still lost, HELP!

Game Notes:

1) Congratulations to Drew James! A win in Diplomacy is a rare thing and worth the applause!! Of course, with my voting rules, wins are more common in this szine than elsewhere. I think one of the draws would have passed at least once if NVR=yes. Endgame statements may be submitted at your leisure. The full game's supply center chart will be published next time... if I can find those records from the beginning of the game in Upstart. They are here somewhere.... obviously, Drew's comment below is too pessimistic. I gotta find it now!

Press:

(JAMES (THE ENGINEER) to EMMERT (THE LAWYER)): An engineer died and went up to heaven, but at the pearly gates St. Peter was distracted (he was watching an SU basketball game) and missed his name on the list so the engineer was sent down to hell. Being a good engineer, he immediately went to work fixing the place up. Before long he had installed air conditioning, put in a swimming pool, solved all of the Y2K problems, and in general made hell a pretty nice place to be. When St. Peter saw this happening he rechecked his list and noticed that he had made a mistake and the engineer was supposed to be in heaven. St. Peter immediately told the devil to send the engineer up to heaven as there had been a mistake. The devil replied ``not on your life, the engineer is staying in hell." St. Peter responded ``If you don't send him up I am going to sue you for everything you are worth." To which the devil replied ``Oh, and just where do you think you will find a lawyer?".

(TURKEY-FRANCE): Apologies for the remark last issue. After a quick glance at the position, I had assumed that Belgium would be your 18th SC by ordering Ruhr-Belgium with Picardy and English Channel supporting. But no, if Germany supports with North Sea Fleet and England cuts support with Fleet London-English Channel, Belgium holds. Might have been worth trying anyhow, along with Paris-Burgundy, Marseilles-Piedmont, and Fleet to Ionian Sea. I look forward to reading your actual moves.

(FRANCE to GM): Did I get 18? I don't think I had much of a chance, but you never know.

(BOOB to JAMES): Well, there was not a serious effort to take back a Balkan center (certainly a possibility) and without that your win looked pretty assured. Michael had it right....

(AUSTRIA-FRANCE): I believe that this game is yours. Congratulations, Drew.

(FRANCE to GERMANY): I'm not sure how to get to 18. I figured that you would try hard to get everyone working in concert against me and it looks like you have been successful.

(GM to FRANCE): Nope, England took two centers from Germany in the last year and Austria and Germany failed to coordinate. And that was that.

(GERMANY to ENGLAND): You're welcome to Moscow, but if you take any more of my dots, you should stop to consider who's winning this game. Taking dots from me will not lengthen this shebang considerably. Notice I've left your possessory interest in Norway intact.

(BOOB to STEVIE-POOH): He didn't trust you on that and moved there....

(VIRGINIA BEACH to PROVIDENCE): Hermit seems destined to end this issue. If this game ends this turn as well, will I set a record for most games lost in one issue playing the same country (2)?

(BOOB to STEVIE-POOH): One could almost think that you ``mailed in'' the final season in this game to ensure that result. You got it....

(TURKEY-GM): I read with interest your comment on the security precautions you use to make sure that players are not deceiving the GM. Most GMs, however, consider it OK for players to deceive the other players. Do you go along with this? ((Yup! For one thing, remember that all press is Black, it can be from anyone and labeled as from anywhere else.)) What I am thinking about, of course, are hoaxes. ((Hoaxes used to be much more common (and they are a lot of fun!) in the postal Diplomacy world. Fake szines, in particular, even though computerization technically makes the task MUCH easier, have really fallen by the wayside! To fake my szine, all you would have to do is grab the szine source code from the E-Mail subscription [well, you couldn't do it since you don't have E-Mail....], edit it, fake my handwriting on some maps, and process the result through TeX. I always expected Eric Brosius to do it someday, but mention it now since I don't think he is involved enough to bother any more. It's a sad state of affairs in my book.... over 200 issues and never been faked.)) I originally thought that Spain in Modern Diplomacy was a hoax. Would you allow a hoax if the player told you in advance and asked for you to keep it a secret? ((Generally, absolutely yes! It would have to fit under my general house rule that players must abuse me as much as they abuse any other player, so if the hoax ridiculed me as well, that would be all to the good. I am frequently asked about such things, though most aren't any big deal.)) Such as an old-timer with a reputation for merciless back-stabbing wanting to play as a 17 year old high school kid from Ohio? ((Generally, my philosophy on such things (which is one way that Fear and Whiskey might play out...) is ``all things within the game''. In other words, at the beginning, I would be verifying that players are who they say they are to the best of my ability, after that all things that happen between the players should be dealt with within the game by the players.))

(JAMES to ANDRUSCHAK): I'm sure I could dig out the original player of record for Turkey, but I think it is probably too soon to bother. When the time comes, I would dig out all of the past names, but we don't want another 200 page TAP just yet.

(VIRGINIA BEACH to BOARD): My wife will be leaving me again on June 25, this time for about six weeks. Do any of you have any ideas on how to while away the hours this summer, in the event this game concludes, shall we say, prematurely? Any suggestions will be gratefully received.

(PROVIDENCE to VIRGINIA BEACH): You won't be able to while away your time playing lots of Diplomacy with all these games ending and the ``sabbatical'' for Arsenic and Old Farts.

(GERMANY to FRANCE): Eintrit verboten. Go back where you came from, you scoundrel.

(ANK - MOST OF THE CIVILIZED WORLD): Of course - I mean you, Virginia City. Thank you for the sentiments, but more likely your devious self is trying to lull me into sleep so you can snatch my peaceful vacation lodge on the beaches of Ankara.

(VIRGINIA BEACH to PROVIDENCE): Really missed you in Chapel Hill, Jim-Bob. Know of any other cons somewhere between us? I'm happy to go for the house-party con you prefer.

(PROVIDENCE to VIRGINIA BEACH): We should have our next Boston get-together sometime in August or September.... David?? I also plan to make an appearance at Vertigo Games just outside Philadelphia over Labor Day. There are some things to work out on that one, but even if my appearance is brief, it will happen. Unfortunately, John Schultz will not be able to join us....

(JOHN BOY to BOOB): I find myself playing all the roles in this game just to see if everybody sees the same moves. I'm having a blast. But, the color of the sky has always been a little different in my world.

(ANDRUSCHAK-BURGESS): I am, of course, distressed that you will be folding TAP due to lack of interest in NYEED and Breaking Away. But look on the bright side... if you fold, I won't have to go through all the bother of buying a computer and learning how to get on-line and web-surf and all that stuff. It balances out. But it may be that interest in non-DIP games is just not very high. Modern Diplomacy filled fast enough. And with all the postal zines folding, you should be able to pick up several orphans. I have said I was not interested in NYEED due to lack of time. True. But in a few more game years, the Modern game should be well enough along that I can think of another committment, perhaps one of those smaller Diplomacy variants of 3-6 players?

(BOOB to THE BIG WIDE TAP WORLD): Clearly I am getting enough interest in Breaking Away to continue. Ideally, I'd like six players, can we get there by next issue please?? On the Diplomacy front, I didn't want to start a new game until some of these ended. We have THREE ending in this issue, so it's time to open more. Some kind of Diplomacy will be open. I'll give potential players one issue to put in bids on what Diplomacy game (variant or regular) they would like to play. I'll sift through them and offer official opening(s) next time. That's it for this one, late but not dead yet!

Personal Note to You: