It is gratifying to have the last of the end game statements on Nekayah, see those below, and that game drops off our rolls as of this issue. In so doing, we say so long to Phil Reynolds, who is dropping his subscription. I want to thank Phil for playing here (and winning here!) and hope his future gaming is pleasurable. You are welcome back here any time!

The postal sub price is a flat $1.00 per issue in the US and Canada. You can double that for other foreign subbers (or $2.00 per issue sent airmail). Players in current games and standbys will continue to get the issues for free, and new game starts (except for Nuclear Yuppie Evil Empire Diplomacy, which is free) cost $15.00 ($10.00 for a life of the game subscription and $5 for the NMR Insurance). The current game opening for Colonial Diplomacy will start as soon as I get money from seven players since Nekayah has now ended. For more on this, see below. Also note that more results for the new demo game are included. Remember that music comments and reviews are scattered through the game press at times.

By electronic mail, through the Internet, subs are free and can be obtained automatically by sending the message: subscribe tap

to majordomo of diplom.org and messages can be sent to the entire electronic mailing list by mailing them to tap of diplom.org which will forward your message to all of the people currently on the list. The message:

unsubscribe tap

sent to majordomo of diplom.org gets you off the list. Please make careful note of that as well since you generally can get yourself off the list a lot easier than I can, and NOBODY likes to see unsubscribe messages sent to the entire list. A big, big thank you for David Kovar for setting this all up!! Note that everything has been moved to the diplom.org site. See David's letter below. The Cal Tech ftp site is being mirrored on the diplom.org machine as well. Issues of The Abyssinian Prince #131 to the present are available via anonymous FTP from ftp.ugcs.caltech.edu in the pub/diplomacy/Zines/TAP directory in compressed postscript format. The gracious assistance of Kevin Roust is most appreciated in keeping up this site. The files begin ap131.ps.Z and go sequentially from there. Since it's UNIX based, all of those upper and lower cases are important. If anyone wants help from me on doing this, they only have to ask and I can help you determine if you have access to FTP which stands for File Transfer Protocol and can handle postscript files. The Caltech site is at:

ftp://ftp.ugcs.caltech.edu/pub/diplomacy/WWW/

or check out the connections in the Diplomatic Pouch at its brand new address with all of the information you would need to play Diplomacy on the Internet at: /DipPouch

In addition, through Jamie McQuinn's portion of the Pouch, or directly through:

/pub/diplomacy/Zines/TAP/

you can access the mirror site to Caltech and get to the szine that way. This mirror site is lightning quick, or at least it has been for me recently.

In a BRAND NEW development, the szine also is available as a PDF file, readable with Adobe Acrobat's free reader. Before I do anything general, I want to test this with a few of you. If you already have Adobe's reader on your computer, E-Mail me for a copy. I have started the test with this issue. It was a combination of technical difficulties and overwhelmed schedules that led me not to get to this previously. Don't worry, I will get to it. If any of you who have NOT E-Mailed me about this test, can still do so. After I test this for a bit, I will have TWO E-Mail subscription lists so you can choose PDF file, TeX source file, or both at your leisure.

No time for additional reminiscences this time, but I've heard no back chatter on this search. Am I the only one who cares about searching for Jerry? Not even monetary incentive gets you guys off your butts?? Humph. Well, we'll see about that ;-)

This is now going to be a regular continuing feature of the szine and I will be introducing a new ``search for'' every five issues. Moreover, you can win a $25 prize for finding some previous target who went unfound in the original $50 period. That means that if Kevin Tighe or Mike Mills or Garret Schenck is ``found'' from now on it is worth $25. Plus, Steve Emmert will throw in another ten spot for Garret Schenck if you can get Garret to write to him. The next person will be announced in Issue #195.

Winners will receive credit for Dip hobby activities that I will pay out as requested by the winner. Bid on PDORA items, subscribe to szines here or abroad, run your own contests, publish a szine, or whatever. Spend it all right away or use me as a bank to cover hobby activities for years. What must you do to win? Get me a letter to the editor for TAP from the person we're searching for. This is very important, just finding them doesn't do it. They have to write me a letter. The final judge as to the winner of any contest will be the target himself and I reserve the right to investigate the winning entry. When you find someone I'm looking for, you should ask him to send me a letter for print that includes a verification of who ``found'' him.

The British representative is the editor of Mission From God, John Harrington. John may be contacted at 30 Poynter Road, Bush Hill Park, Enfield, Middlesex EN1 1DL, UK (johnh of fiendishgames.demon.co.uk). The representives in Australia (John Cain, PO Box 4317, Melbourne University 3052, AUSTRALIA) or Belgium and some other European countries (Jef Bryant, Rue Jean Pauly, 121, B-4430 ANS, BELGIUM) also will forward your subscription on to the editor in either Australian dollars or continental European currencies respectively. Please include the full name and address of the foreign publisher with your order, if possible, as well as the szine title. Make your check in US dollars out to me personally. I will conduct business for Canadians as well, if I can, but prefer to deal in US dollars with them if possible, or Canadian dollars cash. To subscribe to American szines, the system works in reverse.

Thanks to Pete Duxon and Kim Head for recommending some Brit szines to me. I hope to get back to reviews this summer. When I do, Brit pubbers are welcome to write rejoinders to my reviews. My next review will be on Jef Bryant's Dipsomania which is probably the only szine simultaneously published in both French and English. Obviously, I haven't gotten to it yet again this time.

Obscure and not-so-obscure ramblings on the state of the hobby and its publications, custodians, events, and individuals with no guarantee of relevance from the fertile keyboard of Jim-Bob, the E-Mail Dip world, and the rest of the postal hobby. My comments are in italics and ((double quotation marks)) like this. Bold face is used to set off each individual speaker. I should also make a note that I do edit for syntax and spelling on occasion.

The following have been nominated by the Hobby Awards Committee. The Committee consists of Melinda Holley (Chair), Gary Behnen, Fred Davis, Manus Hand, Rob Lesco, Dave McCrumb, Brad Wilson and Andy York.

Don Miller Award (for Hobby Service)

Jim Burgess - zine publisher and US director of ISE

Paul Kenny - zine publisher and US orphan service director

Doug Kent - zine publisher and PDORA chairman

Michael Lowrey - zine publisher and Zine Register publisher

Andy York - former BNC and publisher of Pontevedra

Rod Walker Award (for Literature)

Stephen Agar - ``Driving a Juggernaut" - Diplomacy World #78

Brian Cannon - ``Caution - Used and Abused/Part II" - DW #79

Mark Fassio - ``Bait and Switch Diplomacy" - DW #80

Larry Peery - ``Open Your Dots and Say Aah" - DW #78

Conrad von Metzke - ``By a Whisker" - DW #80

Fred Hyatt Award (for best GM)

Rob Acheson

Andy Lischett Conrad von Metzke Andy York Eric Young

John Köning Award (for best player)

Teresa Armstrong

Frank Easton

Mike Gonsalves

Doug Kent

Andy York

Signed:

Votes will be accepted through September 20, 1997. Please SNAIL MAIL all ballots to: Melinda Holley, 1823 Enslow Blvd., Huntington, WV, USA, 25701. Remember to sign your ballots.

((I corrected some egregious spelling errors in the version of the ballot that I received which I dearly hope does not affect the balloting. I also should note my simple rule for polls I promote vs. polls I ignore for those not familiar with my policy. Simply put, if the poll has any possibility whatsoever of ``negative'' voting, I feel it is inappropriate for a hobby such as ours. The Hobby Awards are entirely positive in nature and thus I support them enthusiastically. Please vote!! Good luck to all the candidates!!))

((Send me a write up of any sort you want about 1996 music for you, what YOU liked. Or risk having me get disgusted with the worthless lot of you and have me fold in a huff (I'll repeat this as long as it gets a reaction, probably only another issue or two, then I'll fold.... heh, heh, heh). It can be a list of records, include descriptions or not, include singles, concerts, re-releases, whatever you want to talk about. It doesn't matter if I like it, it matters if you like it. At least I hope it does!! No set number required. I may finish my list by the end of July.))

David Partridge (Tue, 10 Jun 1997 17:29:40 EDT)

Hi Jim, Well, here's a surprise. A music review from me! I've been very busy lately, but have still been listening to a fair bit of music, so here goes. The real prompt for this came from the fact that there is a particular CD set that I've been listening to a LOT. Practically every day I play at least one of them. I'm referring of course to that mega-hit, Disney's Children's Favorites, volumes 1 through 4. It's in the car, it's in the living room, it's in the bedroom, it's everywhere. Luckily, I have to admit, it is a remarkably well done set. I'd have gone mad by now listening to it if it weren't. For those of you who have small children, I strongly recommend you look into it. ((For those who don't skip right down to my letter with Brad Wilson where we commiserate on the life of those without children - yes, it can be rewarding.... ;-)) Make sure you get the right series, it is not the list of movie hits, but old time classics like ``The Wabash Cannonball'' and ``It's a Small World''. The singer does a good job and they have a very good backup children's chorus.

I have actually had some time to listen to some music for myself as well. Mainly working through my old jazz, Art Tatum, Lester Young, Stan Getz.... I have made two new purchases, both of which I've enjoyed thoroughly. Number one is The George Gershwin Songbook, volumes 1 & 2, sung by Sarah Vaughan, put out by PolyGram. I've enjoyed this one a lot, Gershwin was a genius, and Sarah Vaughan does a great job expressing that genius.

The second was also a set, and also by one of the great song writing geniuses, The Complete Cole Porter Songbooks, put out by Verve. Far too many artists to list, and they aren't all certified gems, but lots worth listening to and I definitely got my money's worth.

((Thanks for your list, Dave! I actually have seen the Disney CD's to which you refer in the stores and they do have lots of great old songs. I have grown to like these sorts of sets more and more over the years. Somehow, the CD medium lends itself to them much more than vinyl or tape.))

Steve Emmert (Fri, 27 Jun 1997 17:25:19 -0400)

Dear Jim - I hope Richard Weiss likes Fillmore East. The Allman Brothers Band has recorded several great instrumentals, and the best, ``In Memory of Elizabeth Reed," is on that live album. The best of the others are ``Pegasus" from Enligtened Rogues, and of course ``Jessica," one of their early tunes. I sometimes wonder if ABB was really a jazz band dressed as southern rockers.

There are a few other good pseudo-jazz tunes by rock bands, and they make for very interesting listening (unless, of course, you bought the album in order to do some head-banging). My favorites are ``Murder by Numbers" by the Police; an old James Gang tune called ``Yadig"; ``Blue Collar" by, of all people, Bachman Turner Overdrive; ((Yes!! Quite right, I'd totally forgotten about that song until you mentioned it.)) ``Rain in Spain" by Sea Level (formed by members of ABB); and a tune I mentioned last time, ``Can't You Hear Me Knocking" by the Rolling Stones.

I advise anybody who's interested in this stuff to take a listen to ``Sweet and Sour" by the Crusaders; it's on the Free as the Wind album. Or try ``Always There" by Ronnie Laws or ``New Country" by Jean-Luc Ponty. These are the reverse of the jazz-by-rockers tunes: Breathtaking pseudo-rock tunes by jazz musicians. Rock keyboardists may come and go, but when you've heard Joe Sample, you're ruined from then on.

Under no circumstances should you EVER listen to a rock singer crossing over into opera. You should also avoid Freddie Mercury's performance on Barcelona, in which he attempts to sing duets with opera singers. It's not pretty. You have been warned. ((You'll get no argument from me. I actually feel equally as strongly about opera singers' attempts to sing pop songs.))

I left out one of my favorite ``pseudo-jazz" tunes from the list I sent you earlier. It's ``Stang's Swang" by Stevie Ray Vaughan. The walking bass is a delightful touch. ((Oh yes, I recall very clearly him playing that song when I last saw him live about ten (??, has it been that long) years ago. Of course, it is a great shame that none of us will ever hear him perform live again...))

Pete Birks (Sun, 8 Jun 1997 08:19:30 +0100 (BST))

Jim, Just a brief note because I haven't written for a while. Not much to say about boring England, really. The weather has been nice, Labour won the election, Chelsea won the cup, England are playing well at football, England are playing well at cricket, and the UK won the Eurovision song contest. What on earth is happening over here? ((Yeah, success, can you handle it?? More recent evidence [sorry, for burying this E-Mail and not getting it into the last issue, by the way] suggests some degree of return to form. Let's see if a Brit can win your golf Open this weekend.)) I've just got hold of The Beatles Anthology 2 (1965-1967), that being my favourite period in The Beatles' history. A more extensive review in GH 209, which I'm ploughing through at the moment. I saw Emerson Lake & Palmer twice, once at Lewisham Odeon where they performed Pictures At An Exhibition (before it was an album) and at the Oval in 1972, when they were already going downhill. Like you, I only went to see them the first time because I was a fan of The Nice (although, unlike you, I liked Five Bridges). I bought most of the ELP albums up until 1979. Unfortunately I lost them all when I was burgled in 1989 so haven't heard any of them for nearly a decade. ((Them's the breaks. Ah, well, yes, I am somewhat surprised at the burglary loss. Vinyl is HEAVY. Anyway, I bought nearly all of their 70's records too. It was in listening to some of them over again (along with the Nice records) as it came up in this conversation that I locked into my previous ho-hum opinion.)) The election night was wonderful, a genuine sea change. Whether most zine editors over here are Labour supporters, or whether it was just a matter of the Labour zine editors shouting louder, I don't know, but the mood throughout London on the Friday seemed different. It was as if England had won the world cup again, or a war, or something. ((It's been a long, long time. I remember how long ago I was pogoing to The English Beat's ``Stand Down Margaret''.....))

((Thanks, Pete, I don't get much of a chance to write LOC's to your szine either, even though I enjoy it greatly. Let's keep the Petes and the Brits coming....))

Pete Duxon (24/6/97)

Dear Jim, Not someone have a go at my dates. Brent did this as well. British and proud of it mate. ((I hope so!))

As you say, anyone can get into an American university. I always found that puzzling. ((Basically, it's because the vast majority of Americans don't really understand the value of academic learning.)) Over here you have to have academic excellence. I don't think it's a class thing, anyone can get into Oxford or Cambridge, I mean Stretchy went to Oxford! ((Indeed! How long has that been the case, and how much has the culture and academic atmosphere changed?)) As I understand it (and I could be wrong!) you can get a degree in the US for spelling your name if you happen to be the next Michael Jordan (OK, maybe exaggerating!). ((Anyone can get into some university and some universities will make those kinds of suggestions; however, we aren't talking about Harvard and Yale (the rough equivalent to Oxford and Cambridge). The real differences between our countries come at the other levels, I think. Although the Harvard/Yale's of the world (and this is even more true at Stanford where young Miss Clinton is going) are experiencing gross levels of grade inflation, it still is pretty difficult to gain admittance.))

Why is our beef naturally more tasty than yours? ((Damned if I know, though I suspect it is based on what is fed to the animals. I only know that it is.))

Basketball the new world sport? ((Absolutely. Sorry to be ethnocentric, but if Americans don't care about it, it can't be the world sport. Basketball is hugely popular here AND elsewhere.)) I'm not convinced. You don't like footy/soccer? That's cool, I'm happy to be in a huge majority.

I saw Nanci Griffith and the crickets the other week. They played for the best part of 3 hours. It was a good concert. I've bought a few albums recently: Jewel, Fiona Apple and the Walkabouts, oh and Paula Cole, all OK. It's going to be a hectic week. I'm seeing the Walkabouts Thursday, Colvin Friday and sleeping Saturday.

Well the election. Technically speaking we knew the result at 10:40 PM when the first result was declared. The computers extrapolated the national result.

Exit polls? In 92, yes, it appeared that voters misled the pollsters but not this time.

You're right, the individual results were interesting. The Tories were annhilated in Scotland and Wales. Michael Portillo was tipped as cert for the next Tory leader but lost his seat. Laugh? You bet! One of the joys of our system is seeing the ``great and the good'' suffer. As it is the Tories have a new leader and they have lurched to the right.

I'm not sure why I didn't mention the changes to the Bank of England and the new super SIB. ((Securities and Investments Board... natch.)) If you get OMR you may have read Nick Parrish's comments (he works for the Bank of England). I think the idea of the Labour party is to turn the Bank of England into something akin to the German Bundesbank. The other thing they have done is to create a new body to govern all forms of investment, currently there are three or four. Is this all good or bad? Opinion appears to be mixed. The Bank of England was pleased to get control of interest rates but lost some of its regulatory powers to the super SIB. ((Which regulates ALL of the banks, but ALSO all other financial intermediaries.)) We have a budget soon and I'll reserve my judgement until then.

Job security? I'm not certain what you're saying in your ``Me Inc." paragraph. ((In modern corporations, an emphasis has been on designing team based pay incentives and other benefits to urge people to work together when deemed to be necessary, but otherwise, in an ``information age'' each individual is best seen as an independent contractor with individual initiative and drive, not ``protected'' by the corporation. Admittedly, mostly because designing the appropriate team incentives has proved to be much more difficult in fact than in theory, this is more rhetoric than reality at present, but it is a direction of motion. Here in my government agency, the basic idea has been adopted as official department policy. What that means on implementation (and I'm attempting to assist in the impossible task) remains to be seen.)) The British got burned in the late 80's/early 90's with property, we are also conservative with a small c. I come from a family where stock market investment is a big thing. ((Meaning that it is done with great trepidation and with careful thought, not that it ``consumed much of your family's energy'', right?)) Luckily I work for an investment company so I've got involved. Investment in markets is still unusual and tends to be the preserve of ``older people''. ((Which, of course, is a bit backwards. Former Brit Simon Billenness also works for an investment company. Do you know Simon, or was he basically ``before your time''?)) I'd suspect that the British hobby would, as a rule, imagine you need a lot of money to invest but I know it isn't true. What I'm saying is that the British lack security. For example if you stuck a $1000 into a savings account with a building society five years ago it would be worth about $1400 but well over $2000 through a unit trust but most people in the UK would not be prepared to take the risk. I want to retire at 50 so I invest it. Yes, I have some Japanese investments. I'm taking the long term view. ((Hmmm, interesting. We'll see what happens.))

Me Inc.? To an extent, but we mustn't create an underclass as seems to have happened over there. ((Clearly, taken to the extreme, it must create an underclass. So you have a distinct point.))

If you don't mind I'll poke my nose into your Hong Kong discussion. ((You're most welcome, I won't say any more here, but you surely will check out Brad Wilson's letter below.)) You think Hong Kong is screwed? I'm not convinced. I think China needs Hong Kong. Anyway China is, as I understand it, the fastest growing economy around (or one of them). As I understand it Britain had a 150 year lease that expires in 1997. The peace treaty that Britain got Hong Hong was the lease whereas Gibraltar and the Falklands weren't.

Changing the subject entirely, what has happened to Michael Jackson? ((He is now so far away from his audience, that he can't write music that speaks to them any more.)) The new album has sold peanuts. ((His last few albums have BEEN peanuts, it just has taken the buying public awhile to figure it out.)) I'm not a fan but the change in sales is dramatic. ((The change in quality is dramatic, the change in sales is ordinary.))

Remember the secret is to bang the rocks together guys!

((And now, the American come back from Brad Wilson...))

Brad Wilson (23 June 1997)

Dear Jim: Notes and comment on TAP #190:

I too saw that little article in the New York Times that you discuss. I thought the author was on the right track, but I am not so sure that the decline of hobbies has much to do with social status seeking. In today's climate where people think they are rushed for time, `spouse avoidance' becomes an issue because if people think they have less free time the spouse will naturally demand a greater percentage be spent with them. Then, too, people raising children these days seem to think they must be available 24 hours a day to entertain the kids, which doesn't leave much time for a hobby. When I was growing up there were times that daddy and mommy did adult things and I entertained myself. That doesn't happen much anymore. ((You're right on here [as you are in nearly all of this letter from my point of view] but, as you also must know, people like you and I are in very difficult positions to discuss it too strongly. People with children would be very much within the scope of reason to argue that we are living in theory rather than reality. We have our opinion nonetheless.)) Third, people, especially women, have this obsession with `acting your age' and see hobbies as childish things.

However, I don't believe people are as `busy' as they think they are. People have more free time than they realize. Clever American marketers capitalize on that feeling to sell everything from take-out food to pay-at-the-pump gas and the pressure of the marketing reinforces people's conception of declining leisure time, which is just what the marketers want.

The biggest waste of time is, obviously, television. People spend hours parked in front of the TV and then complain they're overworked and don't have enough time for their families, etc. Blow up the TV, or turn it off, and I guarantee you will have hours and hours of time to do as you please. ((And then if you do that for awhile, you fill your life with other things, and can't possibly imagine where you would find the time to watch one hour of TV a day, let alone the three that the ``average'' American seems to watch.)) Of course, if a controversial new book argument that women, especially, don't want more free time and are using work as a refuge from the pressure of home, well, time isn't really an issue, is it?

But TV isn't the only problem. People live hours away from their jobs. Add that commute home up and you are spending weeks in your car when you could be at home, at the park, at the store, at the museum, whatever. I live four minutes by foot from my office and have found that it seems to allow me much more free time. I can leave practically when my work-time starts and when I get home I'm not in a crabby mood from traffic and I'm home virtually when my shift ends. Then, if you have kids, consider the time spent chauffeuring them to organized sports events. While these have their place, what is wrong with kids playing pickup ball in the neighborllood, using some imagination, and developing social skills. What happened to just plain playing? Must everything have an adult in charge and be a car ride away? I think not. All these things eat up hours of the clock, uselessly. ((Not to belabor things, but think suburbs, think big yards, think lots of retired people still living there, and consider that they still haven't obtained ``safety'' as a result, and then ``kid population densities'' practically force these things. Think about what the neighborhood you grew up in looks like now.))

I agree with you about Hong Kong and I also agree to the reason why. The British, whatever their faults, understood `the Rule of Law'. The Chinese don't have a clue; to them, the law means whatever they want it to do on a particular day. The Chinese also are incredibly arrogant, and I think they do not realize the extent to which their progress towards becoming a civilized society will be judged by what they do in Hong Kong. They'll just say `internal matter!' in response to any criticism as they do in Tibet, where their behavior would bring a smile to Hitler and Stalin's blood-caked faces. I firmly believe China is today's Evil Empire and should be treated as such. I agreed with Clinton's position on China when he attacked Bush for `coddling dictators', but, of course, that was the I-will-say-anything-to-get-elected Clinton vote-whore speaking. I was disgusted by his retreat, appalled by his cozying up to the Communist butchers and sickened by his taking money from them.

Along those lines, does anyone think that Clinton's call for `constructive engagement' with China sounds like a similar policy Clinton and Dem liberals bitterly condemned in the 1970's and 80's? The same arguments that Clinton is using with China are the ones Reagan, Thatcher and Bush used with South Africa. That appalled liberals. I guess it's OK for China to imprison millions and butcher thousands while denying the most basic freedom as long as they are not racists. ((But of course they are, what is the real issue with Tibet if not racism?)) It makes me almost physically sick; thinking of this hypocrisy. Then Clinton, while pocketing his Chinese cash, has the nerve to pick on unstable governments in Africa and elsewhere. Why do we have sanctions against Burma, Iraq and Cuba - all ruled by scum - and not China, whose rulers make Hussein, Castro and the Burmese junta look like Boy Scouts? Clinton's hypocrisy, avarice and ignorance is our shame.

I am surprised to see you make such a staunch defense of property rights as you did re Hong Kong - have you been reading Hayek, Mises, and Rothbard? ((You insult me sir... (hyork, hyork, hyork, my liberty or my life!!) I dare say that I have probably read more of their work than you have. I have a published health economics policy paper talking of how Hayekian philosophy gives a more sensible framework to look at health policy than some of what passes for policy analysis in the community. It isn't by any means an influential paper, but even though I wrote it nearly ten years ago, its main conclusions still hold in the post health care reform era where some people assert that ``all the rules have changed''. They haven't, of course.))

I saw in the paper today that Hong Kong-headquartered pro-democracy Chinese dissidents are having trouble finding countries to go to because countries are ``afraid of offending China". Does this sound familiar? Remember how reluctant the West was to take desperate Jewish exiles in 1937-39? Have we learned nothing? Fortunately, some countries still have balls and decency - France, Canada, and the U.S. are taking dissidents in. I intend to write M. Chretien and M. Chirac and commend them.

Of course the British could have solved this problem by making every resident of Hong Kong a British subject with a valid British passport and the right to emigrate to Britain, but British xenophobia and racism prevented that humane solution. ((See two Brit views on similar questions above, but as should be obvious from my first statement, I'm with you.)) I am usually as pro-British as it is possible to be, but on this issue the Brits have committed moral surrender. Interestingly, the only colonial subjects that may come to Britain freely and live there are from Gibraltar and the Falkland Islands - the only colonies where most subjects are white. Compare this to French and Dutch colonists, who are treated virtually like native Frenchmen and Dutchmen and may live in Lille, Le Mans or The Hague like any citizen. Get with it, Brits! ((Well, other than Pete Duxon my Brit readership has been something of a silent minority, I suspect this may provoke some reaction. I would ask them to remember that Brad and I really are pro-British on the majority of issues and it is that love of Britain that leads us to wish the government had chosen a different path. But let's move to some leisure pursuits...))

I am thoroughly tired of British and European types picking on our sporting life because we find soccer tedious and boring. I mean, the Canadians have curling but they don't push it on anyone else. ((Oh, but they should! Have you ever played it? I agree it is not the most thrilling of spectator sports but it is loads of fun to play!! The balance of having burly strong guys ``tossing the stone'' and quick nimble guys ``sweeping the ice'' gives a place to everyone. Unlike bocce or shuffleboard, the toss is only the first step.)) I am especially fed up with the `numbers' argument. Until the British Empire stamped out the slave trade the whole world practiced slavery. Did that make the world right and Britain wrong just because ``billions of people owned slaves"? Of course not, and we are no less ``wrong" for paying soccer no mind. As for the World Series, it is followed with considerable interest in Japan and Latin America. And if everyone else finds baseball boring, fine. They don't have to watch it. But it seems as if the soccer fanancs are insisting that to be a sports fan you must care about soccer. I am a professional sports writer, but when it comes to international soccer, I am happily and blissfully ignorant. Flash to Brits and Europeans: WE DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR SPORTS! and we don't care if you don't care about ours. So go away, wank off and leave us baseball and football fans be.

VERTIGO GAMES XI will be 30 August-1 September at 302 Friendship Drive, Paoli, Pa. It will start at noon on Saturday, 30 August and run through Labor Day. I am not 100% sure that I will be there the whole time but associate host Jack McHugh will be on hand. ((With Maria, I hope...)) I will provide breakfast, beer, soda and some munchies. Games could be anything from Dip to Civ to poker to Rail Baron to Noble House to 1830 to Titan to Kingmaker to table baseball. I'd like to play Advanced Civ on 31 August. Other features: a hot tub and the magic that is Patches, the con dog! VG XI is accessible by public transit and near major highways. Questions? Phone me at 610-923-6610. After 30 August, to reach the Con, phone 610-296-9474.

((Thanks to all the letter writers! Keep those letters coming!! I'll give the answers to my quiz from last issue next time.))

``And now," cried Max, ``let the wild rumpus start!"

If you want to submit orders, press, or letters by E-Mail, you can find me through the Internet system at ``burgess of world.std.com''. If anyone has an interest in having an E-Mail address listed so people can negotiate with you by computer, just let me know.

Standby lists: Mike Barno, John Breakwell, Dick Martin, Brad Wilson, Jack McHugh, Glenn Petroski, Steve Emmert, Mark Kinney, Vince Lutterbie, Eric Brosius, Doug Kent, Paul Rauterberg, Doug Essinger-Hileman, Dave Partridge, Andy York, Michael Pustilnik, and John Schultz stand by for regular Diplomacy. Mike Barno stands by for the new Colonial Diplomacy game which hasn't started yet. Let me know if you want on or off the list. Standbies get the szine for free and receive my personal thanks. I'd really appreciate it if anyone wanted to be added to the list.

The Colonial Diplomacy game opening is STILL active! I realize that it has been awhile, so I'm not even sure if you're all still interested. Please send me the $15 game fees now. $10 gives you a life of the game sub, a bargain at twice the price and it holds EVEN after you are eliminated. The other $5 is for the NMR insurance calls, so please send along your phone number as well. Roland Sasseville ($15), Don Williams ($15), Rick Desper ($10 - E-Mail NMR insurance), Terry Tallman, Luke Dwyer ($15), and Jonas Johnson ($15) have expressed interest in the Colonial opening. I have a request to call the game ``Show Me the Money'' and so I shall, and so you must do! I have money from the five people above and a request for a random draw. So it shall be. Some others have expressed interest recently. I will take the first seven people who get money to me. I really only need one more as Terry is my publishing mentor and cannot be denied a place by me. Come on, who wants to play?

Conrad von Metzke currently is GMing a black hole game where you can freely jump over black holes instead of having them render spaces impassible. I am playing in this game and like the tactics of jumping over the black holes a great deal. David Partridge looks like he is going to sweep past me to victory in that game. Now there the black holes are random, but what would happen if you could plan them? The next NYEED game will feature this rule change and will be a 7x7 tourney format unless I am convinced otherwise. I am itching to get this game started, so it will start as soon as it is filled! You get a life of game sub, and the game itself is FREE!! Harry Andruschak is the first one to sign up. Otherwise Conrad is now the new editor and publisher of Pontevedria, the game openings listing, if you're interested in other game openings. Send Conrad a SASE for the latest issue to: Conrad von Metzke, 4374 Donald Avenue, San Diego, CA 92117.

THE DUE DATE FOR FALL AND WINTER 1905 IS AUGUST 2ND, 1997

Summer 1905

AUSTRIA (Schultz): has f ADR, a SER; and nuked TUN(2), ION, DEN, HOL, BER(2).

ENGLAND (Barno): has f NTH, f NWG, a YOR; and nuked GM, RUH, VEN(3), GRE, SPA.

FRANCE (Dwyer): has f MID, a PAR; and nuked ENG, PIC, BUR, PIE, GOL.

GERMANY (Lancaster): has a PRU; and nuked NAP, VEN(3), ROM, VIE, BUD(2).

ITALY (Andruschak): has none; and nuked SWE, STP, MOS, WAR(2), SEV(2).

RUSSIA (R. Ellis): has f GOB, a GAL, a UKR; and nuked BER(2), MUN(2), KIE, TUN(2).

TURKEY (J. Ellis): has f ANK, a BUL, a CON; and nuked SEV(2), WAR(2), BUD(2), VEN(3), MUN(2).

Addresses of the Participants Harry Andruschak, PO Box 5309, Torrance, CA 90510-5309 Randy Ellis, General Delivery, Grant Village, Yellowstone Natl. Park, WY 82190

Jeff Ellis, 2120 Ramrod, #1517, Henderson, NV 89014, (702) 450-6361

John Schultz, #19390, F-E88, Indiana State Prison, PO Box 41, Michigan City, IN 46361-0041.

Mike Barno, PO Box 509, Gardiner, MT 59030, (406) 848-2149

Luke Dwyer, 49 Middlesex Drive, Slingerlands, NY 12159

Stuart Lancaster, 4127 SW Webster, Seattle, WA 98136

GM: VAPORIZED AGAIN!! Was at 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327

01

02

03

04

05

06

07

TOTAL

HARRY ANDRUSCHAK

4

4

5

0

13

RANDY ELLIS

2

2

1

0

5

JEFF ELLIS

1

4

3

1

9

JOHN SCHULTZ

3

1

5

4

13

MIKE BARNO

0

4

1

5

10

LUKE DWYER

5

0

5

3

13

STUART LANCASTER

4

3

4

5

16

Black Holed

15

15

8

14

18

70

Neutral

0

1

2

2

5

Total

34

34

34

34

18

154

Times GM Nuked

1

5

2

3

1

12

Lee Kendter, Jr.

0

1

0

0

0

1

Clinton/Dole

0

1

0

0

0

1

Garret Schenck

0

0

1

0

0

1

Switzerland

0

0

1

0

0

1

Ireland

0

0

1

0

0

1

Nukes Withheld

4

0

5

4

0

13

Game Notes (firmly orbiting in the tropopause):

1) For Round #6, Jeff Ellis is Austria, John Schultz is England, Mike Barno is France, Luke Dwyer is Germany, Stu Lancaster is Italy, Harry Andruschak is Russia, and Randy Ellis is Turkey. Could we have a Round #6 Miller Number please??

2) For the rest of the game, if Jeff doesn't submit orders, his units will hold and his nukes will go unfired.

Press:

(SKYWALKER to ALL): I apologize for the lack of press, I have been busy with finals in school, but they are over now. Hello, summer!

(ANDRUSCHAK-OTHER PLAYERS): Since the tit-for-tat strategy is still in operation, the year 1906 will see me (as Russia) nuking Stuart Lancaster (as Italy). That means I will target Rome, Naples, Venice, and Tunis. There will be no need to duplicate my efforts.

(TSAR-POPE): I merely nuked the leader whom happened to be you in 1904. I - in accordance with the R. Ellis doctrine - nuked Stuart's home centers this time. I project Luke as the total standings leader next time and despite your extreme provocation, I will destroy his home centers in 1906 (if indeed he holds the lead going into 1906). 1906 is - however - the last year that the R. Ellis doctrine will be in effect. Thus, in 1907, I will nuke whoever I fancy with no rigid doctrine dictating my actions. Unless someone does something to coerce me otherwise, I cannot help but feel that you have requested - neigh, begged for - all five of my nukes in the final year: 1907. Go ahead and nuke me. I'll be at six centers and you and my brother will likely be tied for 5th place at 13 after next season. I'm in last place by seven centers, it gives me a certain sense of freedom. You'll have to let me know if a 6th place finish gives you a similar sense of freedom.

(ANDRUSCHAK-LANCASTER): Just out of curiosity, would you like to go public as to your reasons for nuking me instead of Schultz or Dwyer, both of whom also had 13 SCs?

(ELLIS to SCHULTZ): I am nuking the home dots of the #1 center holder. What happened to your promise to nuke the home dots of #2??

(JOHN BOY - HARRY): Just sticking my nose in. I've never been accused of being a rocket scientist, or anything requiring better than sluggish intellect, but I swear I can't figure out how anybody can claim atheism. I've thought about this more than any other aspect of life and I believe honesty dictates agnosticism if one can't claim a specific belief or some sort of revelatory experience. I feel the ``Hound of Heaven'' nipping at my heels constantly. Just don't know what to do with him, her, it, whatever. It's all so complicated and wonderful, and I don't understand it. I can say I don't know, but I can't say there is no God. Regarding homosexuality. The old Hebrew law, tough as it was, was pretty good about making sure of guilt before execution of sentence. Our own could be so good/lots of homophobia from fundamental ``Christians''. I don't understand it, either, but I also don't understand all the venom. Makes me wonder what their namesake would have done if faced with a homosexual ready for the stones. I have an idea he would have dealt with it much the same as the adulteress. Written a few words on a flat rock (probably names of guilty parties in the vigilante crowd) and told them to get on with their business if they really wanted to. Of course, in America, we have so many perfect Christians that probably wouldn't have worked. Yep! Me thinks (that Christ would think) they protest too much!

(ITALY-WORLD): Thus did we grind the evil empire into ``flesh, bones, marrow, and entrails" ...and cribbed a quote from classical literature. Really classical literature. The phrase is from Homer's ODYSSEY and was used by the Cyclops to describe how he intended to grind to bits all the humans in his cave. Bonus points for knowing where in Italy is the traditional location for the cave.

(RANDY to GM): I was surprised to see that my brother actually got orders in last time. I wrote to him recently and told him he was lame for NMRing out of this game. Of course, Jeff is experiencing some pretty serious `real life' right now so maybe there's an excuse. Oh... Barno and I may trek down to the Tetons in late July and hook up with Eric Ozog (family reunion). Titan anyone??

(ITALY-GM): How interesting. Had I ordered my army from Venice to Tyrolia, it would not only NOT have been nuked but would have had a chance to grab Trieste. And if Austria and Turkey do not cooperate, Russia will obtain Rumania anyhow.

(GM-ITALY): Yes, that's true. Are you explaining WHY you didn't move to Tyrolia? Well, I suppose you did have a reasonable shot at Marseilles. Still, I think the tactics will be a lot more fun in the next game where you will be able to leap over the craters created by the nukes!

(ANDRUSCHAK-MIKE BARNO, LUKE DWYER, AND JEFF ELLIS): Congratulations on your excellent diplomacy that enabled you to earn 4 SCs this game year!

(BOOB to HARRY): I'm sure that Jeff, in particular, is laughing all the way to the center counts.

(ANDRUSCHAK-BOOB): ``kileed''? An Irish word, perhaps?

(BOOB to ANDRUSCHAK): Actually, it's Australian, but I'm not Australian, so I don't know what it means, do you?

THE DUE DATE FOR FALL 1906 IS AUGUST 2ND, 1997

Summer 1906

AUSTRIA (Ellis): R f gre-ALB; has f ALB, a TYO, a SER, a BOH, a BUD, a VEN, f ION.

ENGLAND (Pollard): has f TUN.

FRANCE (Dwyer): has a PIC, f TYH, f NAO, f LON, a EDI, f NWG, a BUR, a MAR.

GERMANY (Emmert): has f HEL, a VIE.

RUSSIA (Sherwood): has a MOS, a SIL, a WAR, f SEV, a RUM, f BAL, a MUN, a GAL,

f NWY, f AEG, a DEN, f KIE, a GRE, a BER, f EAS.

Addresses of the Participants

AUSTRIA: Randy Ellis, General Delivery, Grant Village, Yellowstone Natl. Park, WY 82190 ($5)

ENGLAND: Kent Pollard, Box 491, Mammoth Hot Springs, Yellowstone National Park, WY 82190, ($5)

FRANCE: Luke Dwyer, 49 Middlesex Drive, Slingerlands, NY 12159, (518) 439-5796 ($4)

GERMANY: Steve Emmert, 1752 Grey Friars Chase, Virginia Beach, VA 23456, (757) 471-1842

SEMMERT of city.virginia-beach.va.us ITALY: Mark Kinney, 3613 Coronado Drive, Louisville, KY 40241, (502) 426-8165

alberich of iglou.com

RUSSIA: Keith Sherwood, 8873 Pipestone Way, San Diego, CA 92129, (619) 484-8367 ($4)

ksher of cts.com or Keith_Sherwood of Intuit.com TURKEY: Roland Sasseville, Jr., 38 Bucklin Street, Pawtucket, RI 02861, (401) 722-4029 ($3) GM: Jim-Bob Burgess, 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327, (401) 351-0287

Game Notes:

1) Just another boring summer season?? Nah, there's a bunch of press!!

Press:

(SKYWALKER to OBI WAN): Thank you for seeing it my way.

(VIRGINIA BEACH to BOARD): Is it just possible that I may keep both of my units through to the next year? How the hell did I manage that?

(FRANCE to RUSSIA): I wanted to work with you, but I just could not sit by and watch you win when I could have done something about it.

(AUSTRIA-HUNGARY to FRANCE): I hope you harbor no illusions about sharing in a draw with Russia. Actions speak louder than words and Keith Sherwood's actions speak loud and clear: HE IS GOING FOR THE WIN....

(MOSCOW - BOARD): Will you jerks go ahead and concede to me, so we can get this game over with already?

(RUSSIA to BLACK PRESS WRITER): Okay, we all like a little fun now and again. I personally ignore all press when writing moves, playing the position rather than the insults. But I think you're getting close to some line (or was it that you starting insulting me?), so please cool it.

(BOOB to RUSSIA): You labelled that press as ``PRESS FOR IMLAC". Umm, I thought it should go here ;-) Now that game has been over for years, but how did that game end? ;-) ;-) ;-)

(GERMANY to RUSSIA): I have failed to thank you for your kind-hearted advice to me (to go for position in the spring, and dots in the fall) a couple of turns back. But what a boring game this would be if everyone followed your advice. I bet I have more fun making moves my opponents don't expect than you do when you just cover up dots in the fall. Oh, I forgot; you're winning this game, so I have no room to talk. Just forgive me for being unconventional, and let's get on with it.

(VIRGINIA BEACH to SAN DIEGO): What a naughty boy you've been. No mint julep for you; you'll go straight to bed without any bourbon.

(AMBASSADOR DWYER to QUESTIONER): Who is more foolish? THe Fools who fight and die or the Fool who fights the Fools, and lives?

(EAST COAST MOUTHPIECE to YELLOWSTONE TARBENDER): How's the scenery? (VIENNA): In a controversial maneuver engineered by General von Steuben, German cavalry units were supported into the city by Hungarian artillery units in Budapest. The Russian occupation force attempted to flee but was cut off 34 kilometers northeast of Trieste by the Austrian army in Venice. Left with their backs to the wall and nowhere to withdraw, the Russians fought till the last man. No quarter was asked or given. Calls for a ``Russian head-on-a-stick march'' through downtown were quietly dismissed by General von Steuben. ``We'll give these men a decent burial because they were decent men'', said von Steuben. ``Despite the treachery of the Russian high command, I respect and admire the people of Russia.'' When asked about the recent disappearance of Ambassador Ellis, the General grimaced and mumbled something about ``the coward fled for the United States - A national park created 34 years ago - I believe.'' Unconfirmed reports indicate that Ellis has established a small commune somewhere on the west thumb of Lake Yellowstone. Meanwhile, a 10' tall statue of Ellis in Budapest has been pulled down and melted. ``We needed more bullets...'' von Steuben said with a smile.

THE DUE DATE FOR SUMMER 1907 IS AUGUST 2ND, 1997

THE DUE DATE FOR FALL 1907 IS AUGUST 23RD, 1997

Spring 1907

AUSTRIA (Tallman): a RUM-bul. ENGLAND (Lowrey): f nao-NWG, f NTH C a edi-nwy, f SWE S a edi-nwy, a edi-NWY. FRANCE (Rauterberg): f mar-SPA(SC), f bre-MID, a spa-GAS, a TUS S f tyh-rom, f tyh-ROM.

GERMANY (Kent): a mun-TYO, a PRU-lvn, a SIL S a war, a WAR S a gal-ukr, f DEN h,

a gal-UKR, a kie-HOL.

ITALY (Billenness): f NAP-rom, f WES-tyh, a VEN-rom.

RUSSIA (Williams): a LVN S a mos, a ukr S AUSTRIAN a rum (d r:sev,otb),

a MOS S a lvn, f bar-STP(NC), a VIE h. TURKEY (Sherwood): a SMY-bul, f con-BLA, a bul-SER, f AEG C a smy-bul, f ion-TYH, a BUD S a bul-ser, f TUN S f ion-tyh, a TRI S a bud, f adr-ION.

Addresses of the Participants

AUSTRIA: Terry Tallman, 3805 SW Lake Flora Road, Port Orchard, WA 98367, (360) 874-0386 ($8)

ttallman of linknet.kitsap.lib.wa.us

ENGLAND: Michael Lowrey, 6503-D Fourwinds Drive, Charlotte, NC 28212, (704) 563-9226

mlowrey of charlotte.infi.net

ENGLAND EMERITUS: Tom Nash, 202 Settlers Road, St. Simons Island, GA 31522, (912) 634-1753 ($4)

75763.707 of CompuServe.COM

FRANCE: Paul Rauterberg, 3116 W. American Dr., Greenfield, WI 53221, (414) 281-2339 ($10)

Pprosit of execpc.com

GERMANY: Doug Kent, 10214 Black Hickory Rd., Dallas, TX 75243 (214) 234-8386 ($5)

73567.1414 of CompuServe.COM ITALY: Simon Billenness, 452 Park Drive, Apt. 7, Boston, MA 02215, (617) 423-6655 ($5)

sbillenness of frdc.com RUSSIA: Don Williams, 27505 Artine Drive, Saugus, CA 91350, (805) 297-3947

dwilliams of csiway.com

RUSSIA EMERITUS: Ken Peel, 12041 Eaglewood Court, Silver Spring, MD 20902, (301) 949-4055 ($5)

KEN_PEEL of hagel.senate.gov

TURKEY: Keith Sherwood, 8873 Pipestone Way, San Diego, CA 92129, (619) 484-8367

ksher of cts.com or Keith_Sherwood of Intuit.com

TURKEY EMERITUS: Pete Gaughan, 1236 Detroit Av. #7, Concord, CA 94520-3651, (510) 825-2165 ($4)

gaughan of ix.netcom.com

GM: Jim-Bob Burgess, 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327, (401) 351-0287

Game Notes (back from the tropopause): 1) The game specific standby list for this game includes Garret Schenck, Cathy Cunning Ozog, Dick Martin, and Vince Lutterbie in reverse alphabetical order (note that Garret is presently missing, so I am running low on standbys here...). Someone find Mike Mills!! Guest press from potential standbys would be a ``good thing'' if they wanted to be chosen.

2) Anyone failing to submit press for two consecutive turns will be dropped from the game! Although press in this szine is generally black, I will make the exception here that I will say who has NPRed and is ``at risk'' for being dropped. This time EVERYONE got press in! What an idea, it works!! Perhaps I will institute it someday in all my games. First, I want to do a longer term assessment; however, I am really proud of all the press in this issue. You guys made it a dream to link all the press together, which is my absolute favorite thing about press! Check it out!!

Press:

(AN ANONYMOUS LAMENT): ``My time is almost through. Little left to do. After all, I've tried for three years, seems like thirty ... seems like thirty."

(RUSSIA to MINDLESS E/G AUTOPILOT DRONE): I think that at some point youse guys need to think about what you're doing here. I also think it'd be nice to do that before I'm completely dead.

(BOOB to THOSE WHO THINK THEMSELVES AT RISK OF BEING COMPLETELY DEAD): One thinks you best be quick about it, and decrease the surplus population! (TURKEY to RUSSIA): Okay, I bought your arguments. I'm still with ya. Austria to Turkey: Don't forget your promise about the Italian homeland and those pesky Russian dots.

(AUSTRIA to DECEASED ENGLAND, RUSSIA AND TURKEY): PHHHHHHHBBBBBLLLLLT!!!!!!

(RUSSIA to GM): What do you say, Boob - I've turned a powerful 8-center Russia into the snivelling cur it is today, in less than three years. And they said that no one would ever match Bob Olsen's excellence!!!

(GM to OLSENESQUE RUSSIAN): I say, I'm pleased as punch, you sent all of this press by E-Mail!!!

(RUSSIA to AUSTRIA): Gee, you could have asked for Rumania. Now Keith says he has to kill me to save me.

(TURKEY to FRANCE): Uh oh. I awoke the slumbering giant.

(GOLDEN TOADY ONE to GOLDEN TOADY TWO): I hope you're happy about this ... it IS all your fault, you know. We coulda been contendahs!

(CRYPTNET DUCKLINK TO CYBERPLANE SIX [aka TAP, SUBSECTOR ZiReW06]): Various, generally random, attempts at fiction, much less humor, had been promulgating unchecked, unedited and content-less for some time in that quadrant of the CryptNet widely (and happily) unknown as TAP 60WeRiZ. The sludge-fiction spewing forth reminded the massive habitant of the room of nothing so much as chittering of chimps with exceptionally low IQ. Yeah, basement-IQed chimps with low self-esteem, and poor bowel control, and none too happy with it. Yeah, grouchy, incontinent, stupid, bad-attituded chimps about summed up who was writing the stuff. Incontinent anal-retentives. Hmmph, he thought, there's a probable oxymoron. But an oxymoron with meaning ... or at least more meaning than most of the stuff coming up from the sludge-fountain like the backed up mainline to a sewer treatment plant.

The massive figure shifted in the chairweb, lit up a massive stogie. Curls of fetid smoke drifted upward, curled over his head, then dissipated, gathered with a faint faraway hum of the HVAC unit that always ran in this place. So, they're having fun at the expense of yet another duckish one, are they? Ghod-damned, no-tailed naked apes! He owed them, owed them all, a huge and brutish kick to where their ischial callousities should have been.

He considered many his options. Of particular merit was the introduction of a virulently nasty new softwork virus in the TAP cyberplane. The virus was named ``FRED". It stood for something, an anagram, but he couldn't remember what, and it didn't really matter - ``FRED" fried computers like McDonald's fried hamburgers. Naw, too easy, too quick, and none too subtle. Subtlety in his actions, if not his artfully crafted but well-overblown writing style, was a trademark he'd long cultured, like a finely-honed goatmilk yogurt culture.

``Use that poor duck as a `key' indeed," snarled the massive glowering figure, face reddened in the eerie computer screen glow of the room by the fierce ember burning on the end of the fine cigar. (Thank Ghod for the baby boomers and this trendy cigar-smoking thing. He'd been out in the cold for years, only to have cigars make a huge comeback. It was all the rage.)

Rage!!! That feeling best summed up the fiery emotion that rappelled its way up his heart. Rage against the incontinent, maladjusted, anal retentive chimps who amused themselves with duck abuse! Rage against the unfairness! Rage against people who don't use turn signals at all, ever!!! His fury exploding, the massive figure leapt from the webchair, stogie glowering like a baleful, maleficent eye in the finest Tolkienian (a fine and upstanding Armenian hobbit clan in the Shire) tradition, fists clenched fistlike. In all his enraged and psychotically malcontent splendor, the Ur-Duck, Master of CRYPTNET DUCKLINK, cried out into the silent and unending night of cyberspace.

(BOOB to STOGIELESS MINIONS): You shall know your targets by the presence of the exposed oral member envy. Hesitate not, but blow my foes away! This ``stogie comeback'' either illustrates just how far member envy has expanded in recent years or the failure of you minions to perform your throat slitting tasks. In either case, your challenge is clear!! Sally forth!!!

(``VENGEANCE SHALL BE MINE, PALS, OR MY NAME AIN'T SOCRATES THE UR-DUCK!!!): Red Daf, your ass is mine! Thick Rutter, better count your days and say your prayers! Yer both history."

(MOSCOW to FORMERLY HAPPY PEOPLE OF WARSAW): And you thought we were bad. But did you believe us? No! ``We want to be captured by the Germans!" you cried. ``Let us live under the Huns!", you begged. ``Force large-boned, blondes with hairy legs and beer bellies upon us!", you swooned. Well, okay. We hope you're happy. We note that the motto of the new regime is ``A gallows in every garage! A neck in every noose!" Cheer up, some day soon these will look like the best of times after they introduce REAL reform, like making you eat German food ... (MOSCOW to REMNANTS OF THE RUSSIAN REPUBLIC): You all might want to fight harder than your brothers in Warsaw did. Especially you people in St Pete. We hear the English make the Germans look like Richard Simmons ... ((Is that like kissing your sister? Or is Richard Simmons your sister??))

(WILLIAMS to SHERWOOD): What I'm finding out, to my real chagrin, is that you communicate as well on the internet as you do in regular mail. Oh, well ...

(GERMANY - RUSSIA): That Austrian can be as pesky as a gnat, can't he? You should see him when he's angry.

(AUSTRIA to WORLD): My proposal passed??!! England, Germany and Italy Are doomed!!! HOLY SCHIT! ((Not yet they aren't.))

(MICHAEL-JIM): I was wondering if you had heard of a girl-pop band out of Boston called Bee Charmers. Not bad stuff, if you like that sort of stuff.

(BOOB to OBSERVERS): One focused on charming music (and that it is, I've been kinda watching for their CD, but haven't seen it in the stores yet) and the other with insect like precision on the ToadFather, who laps up gnats with his lightning quick tongue, yet neither seem to be hearing the Duck's avuncular pleas. ((Luke, that's your word for this issue!!! Finals may be over, but learning is never done...))

(RUSSIA to E/G): At what point will you two see that I am no longer a threat to either of you? Okay, okay .... uncle. Uncle. Uncle! UnCLE. UNCLE. UNCLE!!! UN-FUCKING-CLE!!! Can we be friends soon?

(A BOOBISH MOVIE REVIEW): Speaking of fucking... this one is for Bob Acheson. ``What's the difference between a ho and a bitch?'' ``The ho fucks everyone, the bitch fucks everyone but you!'' That's a joke from Rusty Cundieff's parody of a couple of years back, Fear of a Black Hat. I sort of like Cundieff's movie making, which most of the time is tough yet sensitive about romantic black people. If you want to know one of the many reasons why Clinton's ``fix the racial problem'' commission won't work, watch some of Cundieff's movies and note how at least some parts of black society are in another place from me anyway, and I live in the city in the middle of it. I think the simplistic keys to the heart of a society are found in what's really important to the ordinary people who inhabit it. Rusty Cundieff writes, directs, and acts in movies about ordinary black people and what is important to them. Anyway, Black Hat is rather different and I ``got'' it much more from direct experience than his other movies since it is a bit of a parody of a parody of Rob Reiner's Spinal Tap turning the rockumentary eye on rappers. Most of it I thought was hilarious as the ``Niggers With Hats'' got together, made it, broke up, and got back together. Totally predictable story line, but done really well. Speaking of black movies...

(CA to RI): Saw Men in Black. A very good and trippy movie. I encourage you to take Charlotte. She, at least, will get most of the humor. Then she can explain it to you.

(BOOB IN RI to BOOB IN CA): Huh? Oh, well, I'll let her tell you what SHE thought of it. ((She said: ``it was really funny!'' That's it? Well, OK, as for myself, I laughed my way through all of it and thought it was one of the funniest movies I've seen in quite awhile. The cartoonish special effects actually were used to productive needs of the story instead of being gratuitous. Doug Kent and other ``comic aware'' types will tell us about the comics that it apparently is based on. You could tell. I also hope Mark Fassio saw it and got to see the part with the squeaky clean 2nd Lieutenant as a recent West Point grad! Just like you...

(UNWORTHY ONE to DAPHNE): See? I'm, squeaky clean in this one.

(BOOB to UNWORTHY ONES): But, the question is, how squeaky clean is the frog.... (A FROG, IN THE PRESENCE OF THE IMMENSITY [Pt 13]): I was sulking around the house when suddenly IT was right there beside me (the first time that IT ever appeared in a DAYDREAM, as opposed to the nighttime variety). ``So," IT wheezed, ``have you learned anything from recent events?" ``Yeah, maybe. Keither's teeth have grown into fangs, and they've developed a sharper edge." ``That's it?" IT sneered, ``Can't you discern that Keither, since notching his first win on his belt, has turned rogue?" ``So what does that mean? What's a rogue?" ``A rogue is a rogue, and they work solo. They're a breed apart, often neurotic, maybe even psychopathological: they can't be fully trusted as friends or partners. Even if you can wheedle them into allying with you, you can't turn your back for fear of errant knives." ``So what makes a rogue so different than most other Diplomacy players?" I opined. ``Mark Lew, for one, would probably describe ME in such a fashion!" ``Rogues prefer to take 100% credit for their wins, and the only way to do that is to eliminate any partners who amount to anything greater than mere puppethood. It is hard to describe one such as yourself as an obedient sap." I blushed, or was it flushed? ``So Keither is now useless as a tool for my self-advancement?" ``You can work that out for yourself, I think." IT's voice was fading now. ``A little thinking, instead of instinctual gunboating, wouldn't hurt you once in a while, eh?"

(AUSTRIA to WORLD): Anyone coming to dragon flight WHO WAS A SUBBER IN GOOD STANDING ONLY!!!! is invited to the Rancho del Toad either before or after. I will be at DF during the con, I stay in the dorms. It is too far to drive. But then I stayed in the dorms when I lived on that side of the water too.

AUSTRIA: Josh Smith; ENGLAND: Nick Fitzpatrick; FRANCE: Jim Burgess; GERMANY: John Sloan; ITALY: Danny Loeb; RUSSIA: Rich Shipley; TURKEY: David Kovar.

GM: Mark Nelson, 1st Flr Frt Flat, 3 Kelso Road, Leeds, W. Riding LS2, UK; amt5man of amsta.leeds.ac.uk

I've begun my write-up on Ghods too, but you won't see it for a long time since it won't appear until 1997 KT ends. Anyone want to take odds on whether I will finish my article before Mark finishes his on 1994 KF? I'm still waiting to discover whether my key suppositions were correct that ultimately determined the outcome of the game.

AUSTRIA: Edi Birsan (edi of mgames.com);

ENGLAND: Jamie Dreier (James_Dreier of brown.edu);

FRANCE: John Barkdull (uejon of ttacs1.ttu.edu);

GERMANY: Pitt Crandlemire (pittc of syncon.com);

ITALY: Cal White (diplomat of idirect.com);

RUSSIA: Mark Fassio (jm2365 of exmail.usma.army.mil, fazfam of juno.com);

TURKEY: Hohn Cho (hohncho of kaiwan.com).

GM: Jim Burgess (burgess of world.std.com)

USIN judge: judge of kleiman.indianapolis.in.us

((The main point of this game is to take some successful E-Mail players, some successful FTF tournament players, and some successful PBM players, put them in a game together using the Judge E-Mail technology and see what happens. I will be reprinting all orders and selected broadcast press each issue. Other comments are welcome. If you want to observe the game, in real time, check out the USIN judge.))

Austria: Army Budapest - > Serbia. (*bounce, dislodged*)

Austria: Army Trieste - > Albania. (*bounce*)

Austria: Army Vienna - > Galicia. (*bounce*)

England: Fleet Helgoland Bight SUPPORT French Fleet English Channel - > North Sea.

France: Army Marseilles - > Spain.

France: Army Tyrolia - > Venice. (*bounce*)

France: Fleet Holland - > Kiel. (*bounce*)

France: Army Belgium - > Ruhr.

France: Fleet English Channel - > North Sea.

France: Fleet Tyrrhenian Sea - > Western Mediterranean. (*bounce, dislodged*)

France: Army Munich SUPPORT Army Belgium - > Ruhr.

France: Fleet Brest - > Mid-Atlantic Ocean. (*bounce*)

France: Army Paris - > Burgundy.

Germany: Army Denmark SUPPORT Army Kiel.

Germany: Fleet Gulf of Bothnia - > Baltic Sea.

Germany: Army Ruhr - > Munich. (*bounce, dislodged*)

Germany: Army Berlin - > Prussia.

Germany: Fleet North Sea SUPPORT Army Ruhr - > Holland. (*void, dislodged*)

Germany: Army Kiel SUPPORT Army Ruhr - > Munich. (*cut*)

Italy: Army Venice HOLD.

Italy: Fleet Western Mediterranean - > Mid-Atlantic Ocean. (*bounce*)

Italy: Fleet Adriatic Sea SUPPORT Army Venice.

Italy: Fleet Naples SUPPORT Turkish Fleet Ionian Sea - > Tyrrhenian Sea.

Turkey: Army Warsaw - > Galicia. (*bounce*)

Turkey: Army Serbia - > Budapest.

Turkey: Fleet Ionian Sea - > Tyrrhenian Sea.

Turkey: Fleet Black Sea CONVOY Army Ankara - > Sevastopol.

Turkey: Fleet Aegean Sea - > Ionian Sea.

Turkey: Fleet Greece - > Albania. (*bounce*)

Turkey: Army Rumania SUPPORT Army Serbia - > Budapest.

Turkey: Army Constantinople - > Bulgaria.

Turkey: Army Smyrna - > Armenia.

Turkey: Army Ankara - > Black Sea - > Sevastopol.

The following units were dislodged:

The Austrian Army in Budapest with no valid retreats was destroyed.

The French Fleet in the Tyrrhenian Sea can retreat to Gulf of Lyon or Tuscany or Rome or Tunis.

The German Army in Ruhr with no valid retreats was destroyed.

The German Fleet in the North Sea can retreat to Yorkshire or Edinburgh or Norwegian Sea or Norway or Skagerrak or Belgium or London.

France: Fleet Tyrrhenian Sea - > Tunis.

Germany: Fleet North Sea - > Yorkshire.

Austria: Army Trieste - > Serbia. (*bounce*)

Austria: Army Vienna - > Budapest. (*bounce*)

England: Fleet Helgoland Bight - > Kiel.

France: Army Spain HOLD.

France: Army Tyrolia - > Venice. (*bounce*)

France: Fleet Holland SUPPORT English Fleet Helgoland Bight - > Kiel.

France: Army Ruhr SUPPORT English Fleet Helgoland Bight - > Kiel.

France: Fleet North Sea - > Norway.

France: Fleet Tunis - > Western Mediterranean. (*bounce, dislodged*)

France: Army Munich SUPPORT English Fleet Helgoland Bight - > Kiel.

France: Fleet Brest - > Mid-Atlantic Ocean.

France: Army Burgundy HOLD.

Germany: Army Denmark SUPPORT English Fleet Helgoland Bight - > Kiel.

Germany: Fleet Baltic Sea - > Sweden.

Germany: Army Prussia SUPPORT Army Kiel - > Berlin.

Germany: Fleet Yorkshire - > Edinburgh.

Germany: Army Kiel - > Berlin.

Italy: Army Venice SUPPORT Fleet Adriatic Sea - > Trieste. (*cut*)

Italy: Fleet Western Mediterranean - > Tunis.

Italy: Fleet Adriatic Sea - > Trieste. (*bounce*)

Italy: Fleet Naples - > Tyrrhenian Sea.

Turkey: Army Warsaw - > Silesia.

Turkey: Army Budapest SUPPORT Italian Fleet Adriatic Sea - > Trieste. (*cut*)

Turkey: Fleet Tyrrhenian Sea - > Gulf of Lyon.

Turkey: Fleet Black Sea - > Constantinople.

Turkey: Fleet Ionian Sea SUPPORT Italian Fleet Western Mediterranean - > Tunis.

Turkey: Fleet Greece - > Albania.

Turkey: Army Rumania - > Galicia.

Turkey: Army Bulgaria - > Serbia. (*bounce*)

Turkey: Army Armenia - > Sevastopol.

Turkey: Army Sevastopol - > Moscow.

The following units were dislodged:

The French Fleet in Tunis can retreat to North Africa.

France: Fleet Tunis - > North Africa.

Ownership of supply centers:

Austria: Trieste, Vienna.

England: Kiel, London.

France: Belgium, Brest, Holland, Liverpool, Marseilles, Munich, Norway, Paris, Portugal, Spain.

Germany: Berlin, Denmark, Edinburgh, St Petersburg, Sweden.

Italy: Naples, Rome, Tunis, Venice.

Turkey: Ankara, Budapest, Bulgaria, Constantinople, Greece, Moscow, Rumania, Serbia, Sevastopol, Smyrna, Warsaw.

Austria: 2 Supply centers, 2 Units: Builds 0 units.

England: 2 Supply centers, 1 Unit: Builds 1 unit.

France: 10 Supply centers, 9 Units: Builds 1 unit.

Germany: 5 Supply centers, 5 Units: Builds 0 units.

Italy: 4 Supply centers, 4 Units: Builds 0 units.

Russia: 0 Supply centers, 0 Units: Builds 0 units.

Turkey: 11 Supply centers, 10 Units: Builds 1 unit.

Turkey: Builds an army in Smyrna.

France: Builds an army in Marseilles.

England: Builds a fleet in London.

Selected Broadcast Press (1907):

(BOOB to GHODS TOO OBSERVERS): With the demise of Mark Fassio and the coming of summer, there is the least press this year of any so far. There was a long ``out of game'' discussion that I ultimately decided not to print. I should note that guest press for this game is welcome from any postal quarter as well.

(FRANCE): Put another pizza in the oven! Italy might be doing some entertaining.

THE DUE DATE FOR WINTER 1909 IS AUGUST 2ND, 1997

THE DUE DATE FOR SPRING 1910 IS AUGUST 23RD, 1997

Fall 1909

AUSTRIA (Johnson): a tri-SER.

FRANCE (Pustilnik): a BUR S ITALIAN a tyo-mun, a PIE-tyo, f nth-NWY, a GAL-bud,

f NWG S f nth-nwy, f BAR S f nth-nwy, f BEL-nth, f den-ska (d r:hel,otb),

a KIE S ITALIAN a tyo-mun, a RUH S a kie.

GERMANY (Alme): a BER S a mun-kie, a mun-kie (d ann).

ITALY (Williams): a ven-TRI, a tyo-MUN, a GRE-ser, f ADR S a ven-tri,

a ALB S a ven-tri, f ION-gre, f AEG-bul(sc). RUSSIA (Rothenheber): f nwy h (d r:swe,otb), a SIL-gal, a STP S f nwy,

a VIE-tri, a BUD S a vie-tri, a BUL S AUSTRIAN a tri-ser, a swe-DEN, a syr-ARM,

f SKA-nth, a BOH-tyo, a SMY S f con, f BAL S a swe-den, a RUM S AUSTRIAN a tri-ser,

f CON S a bul.

Supply Center Chart

AUSTRIA (Johnson):

ser

(has 1, even)

FRANCE (Pustilnik):

bre,par,mar,lvp,edi,por,hol,

(has 9 or 10, bld 2(r:otb) or 1)

lon,bel,kie,nwy

GERMANY (Alme):

ber

(has 1, even)

ITALY (Williams):

rom,ven,nap,tun,tri,spa,gre,mun

(has 7, bld 1)

RUSSIA (Rothenheber):

stp,mos,war,sev,swe,rum,ank,

(has 13 or 14, even(r:otb) or rem 1)

den,con,smy,bul,bud,vie

Neutral:

none

(Total=34)

Addresses of the Participants

AUSTRIA: Jonas Johnson, 3649 SE 33rd Ave., Portland, OR 97202, (503) 238-4430 ($3) EcidLor of aol.com ENGLAND: John Schultz, #19390, F-E88, Indiana State Prison, PO Box 41, Michigan City, IN 46361-0041.

FRANCE: Michael Pustilnik, 140 Cadman Plaza West, #13J, Brooklyn, NY 11201, (718) 625-0651 ($9)

GERMANY: Hank Alme, 5157 Norma Way #217, Livermore, CA 94550, (510) 606-7265 ($3)

almehj of kristen.llnl.gov

ITALY: Don Williams, 27505 Artine Drive, Saugus, CA 91350, (805) 297-3947 ($5)

dwilliams of csiway.com

RUSSIA: Ed Rothenheber, 11757 Lone Tree Court, Columbia, MD 21044, (410) 740-7269 ($3)

Rothenheber_Ed of bah.com

TURKEY: David Partridge, 15 Elmer Drive, Nashua, NH 03062-1722, (603) 882-3523 ($4)

rebhuhn of juno.com

GM: Jim-Bob Burgess, 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327, (401) 351-0287

Game Notes:

1) Note that Jonas now has an E-Mail address.

Press:

(OFFICIAL FRIEDRICH NIETZSCHE QUOTE OF THE SEASON): ``A strong and well-constituted man digests his experiences (his deeds and misdeeds included) as he digests his meals, even when he has to swallow some tough morsels. If he cannot get over an experience and have done with it, this kind of indigestion is as much physiological as is the other - and often in fact merely a consequence of the other. - With such a conception one can, between ourselves, still be the sternest opponent of all materialism.'' from The Genealogy of Morals, Essay #3, Section #16. Going for the short and sweet this issue...

(JOHN BOY - NIETZSCHE): You talk pretty neat, old fella; but like the Boob says - a little wordy. You need to get with Jimmy Stewart, now that you're able, and he'll show you how to say the same things while toning it down a little. I'll send you a little quote from Emerson regarding language that might help a little, too. ((Nietzsche himself loved to read Emerson and discussed his theories in numerous places in his own writings.)) The Boob will print it for us. ((That, and also this... now this is REALLY short and sweet!))

(THE TOMBS RESTAURANT - WASHINGTON DC): A little shot for F. N. Excerpted from Wisdom From The Walls by Kristen Kammerer and Bridget Snyder.

God is dead - Nietzsche

Nietzsche is dead - God

(ITALIA a INGHILTERRA): Giovanni, sai che puo darse che no sta una cosa bene a leggere l'Nietzsche dove ... oops, I forgot, you all don't read Italia. Well then, as I was saying, John, you do know that it might not be such a good thing to read Nietzsche where you are. The passing nod most people have with Friedrich is that he was a sort of Teutonic/Aryan supremicist believing that a few (the uber-volk) should rule over everyone else. Not the kind of thing YOU'd want to be known for. I suggest, instead, you dig into something by ex-LA Police Chief Darryl Gates.

(BOOB to ITALIA): I think he's planning to digest his experiences... I don't think Darryl Gates has digested much of anything.

(HOBBES to NIETZSCHE): ``During the time men live without a common power to keep them all in awe, they are in that condition which is called war; and such a war as is of every man against every man ... the nature of the war consisteth not in actual fighting, but in the known disposition thereto during all the time there is no assurance to the contrary."

(LOCKE to NIETZSCHE): ``No man's knowledge here can go beyond his experience." ((And that's just why they must be digested... heh, heh, heh, and I chose that quote BEFORE seeing this press...)) ``It is one thing to show a man that he is in error, and another to put him in possession of the truth."

(JOHN BOY - BOOB): Pretty good press this time. Damn shame not a ``jot or tittle'' was from any of the players. ((It's a little more balanced this time....)) I foresee a Russia or Italy victory, but I won't say who I'm rooting for. Great game!

(WILLIAMS to BURGESS): Complaining about the typing, are you? ((No, no, not at all... please write as much press as you like and send it any way you like.)) I'm gonna do twenty pages longhand if you so much as sniff about it again. ((I don't sniff, that's snivelling.)) That, mon cher Boob, is a promise. After the horrors I put up with typing your scrawl for years on end, this is the thanks I get ... ingrate!!!

(FIAT BELLUM & FLICK OF THE WRIST): Boy, we'll say! He killed off both of us single-lefthandedly.

(DON to HIS BAD SELF): Uh-oh ...

(BOOB to DON'S BAD SELF): I think somewhere the ex-Turk misconstrued your sense of fun here (though with all of this verbiage, I can't see how he possibly could...), but I'll let you dig yourself a few more holes before I toss in Dave's zinger...

(GOLDEN TOADY ONE to HIGH PRIESTESS DAPHNE OF THE GOLDEN ROD): Oh, hello there. Uh, you heard that Charlotte Whatsername, did you? And I suppose you're wondering how all THAT got started, huh? Well, hmm, uh ... er, well, you know what they say, ``Spare the Golden Rod, spoil the Golden Toady ... "

(BOOB to GOLDEN TOADY ONE): Here's another worshiper of Her Royal High Priestess....

(JOHN BOY - DAF): Darlin' Daf, my lovely Goddess.... who lights the universe so the universe can share that light with us mere mortals! How the hell are ya'?! Damn, it's good to hear from you. I miss you, too. It's been nearly five years. Sorry. So.... my life... wow. Lots of changes. I graduate from Grace College in August with an Associates Degree - magna cum laude. Only two out of a graduation of over 200. Missed summa by just two B's. Not bad for an old ``dumber than a box of rocks'' Harley tramp. And no, I haven't forgotten your ride. About three years ago I also decided if I was going to be bitching at my grandchildren (four of them now by the way) about staying in school I should get a HS diploma. My old GED just didn't seem like a good example. So, as of last April 20th, I'm a genuine HS graduate. Hey, 27 years late is better than never. A year ago last June 10th I found my long lost family. Not long after that I met my Sissy, my sister I hadn't seen for FORTY-TWO frickin' years, and met my baby sister for the first time. Sometime after September I'm being sent somewhere where I can actually see streets, cars, trees, people, the night sky, real food. Yep! Life is wonderful. Only one thing could make it better and that's gettin' closer all the time.

(GOLDEN TOADY ONE): Ow! Ouch!! Hey, that hurts! Ouch!! OUCH!! OWWWWWWWWWW!!!!

(JOHN BOY - BOOB): Well, fella, it ain't exactly what you would call press... but it sure will fill some white space. And Daf is certainly worth the effort.

(BOOB - JOHN BOY): Yep. You be sure to keep in touch through whatever moves you this fall! And it sure does meet my definition of press. Let's see what Williams defines it as....

(BORING WILLIAMS PRESS to PSYCHOTIC MALCONTENTS [JIMBOB & DAF, KNOW THYSELVES]): Hey, as they say, ``Press Happens." Press is press. Press is as press does. You got to dance with the press that brought you. ((Shouldn't that be the press what brung you... and you were an English major.)) It got John and Daphne kick-started, now didn't it? (And Mike said he'd write some, too.) Don't know about the dude in the Peartree, though. An' ol'Brer Rothenheber, he jes' layin' low 'til he get his groove back.

(SOMEWHERE IN THE SHADOWS OF THE TRINITY THEATRE): Psst! Psssst! Hey, Charlotte. Charlotte! Looks like we have a little communication problem here. That is, if we communicate, it's going to be a problem. A painful one. Any bright ideas? Oh, and at least for a while, I suggest you go ix-nay on the ibald-ray. (They like to watch, if you know what I mean.)

(ITALY to WASHINGTON & RHODE ISLAND): Now will the both of you just stop and think this through? Is it really worth it?

(GOLDEN TOADY to HP DAF): Regarding that limerick ... it goes this way: ``There was an old man from Nantucket/Who kept all his cash in a bucket/But his daughter, named Nan/Ran away with a man/And as for the bucket, Nantucket." I don't get what's so bawdy about that.

(ROME to PARIS): Did you hear that comment in last issue? I've been honed to a lean, mean golden toady. You'd be best to keep me around, AND to suck up big time to Daf. She's been known to rent me out from game to game.

(JOHNSON-PARTRIDGE): Not only have I not followed you to hell as you expected, I have continued to survive. Look at the things you can accomplish when you make friends. (Though, there is a 50/50 chance of me dying this season.) (GREEN BLOCKS to RED ONE): So, did your luck stay to form, or have the dice come up snake eyes? Thanks for the e-mail. Too little, too late, though. You've been eaten by the Great White (Russian) Whale, Jonas. I suggest you light a fire in his belly.

(PEQUOD CREW to CAPTAIN AHABENHEBER): Thar ye blows (it)!!! Spouter off the port bow! Looks like a Blue-block Whale surfacing in Galicia. She's behind us, Cap'n, amongst the johnny boats! What ye gonna do, Cap'n!? What ye gonna do?

(GREEN PIECE REIGNBLOW WARRIOR to CAPTAIN AHABENHEBER): Uh, before you launch that harpoon, Captain, we'd like to advise you that whaling is illegal in these waters, under the 1992 Whaling Prohibition Agreement. Would you mind showing us your Pilot's License ...

(WILLIAMS to BURGESSES): This whale of a tale is all your (collective) fault, after my visit to the whaling museum last year. ((As I recall, and you surely will correct me if I am mistaken, you went to the whaling museum WITH my wife and WITHOUT me! What in this is MY fault!?!?)) And Jonas'. Hey, I held off as long as I could, but a low-humorist's got to do what a low humorist's got to do.

(AUSTRIA-GM): Have I missed it, or are we now in about to move into 1910 with no draw proposals yet being made? That has to be a TAP record. ((It very well may be. I don't keep records about such things. There usually are lots of draw proposals around here, even though they seldom pass.))

(ITALY to ALMEDEUS): It's been about thirty turns, and I've never even so much as looked in your direction to attack. But, hey, everything comes in time. Sorry. I feel like such a jackal ... Time for a little (good) night music, Mozart? (Don't mean anything by that, just going for the obvious.)

(DON PONDERS ALOUD): How does one return a smirk?

(BOOB to DONNY BOY): We're gonna see in just a second, Partridge's broadside is coming right up here as soon as you stop blathering with these silly puns!

(BOOB to REST OF THE GANG): Don is not being fooled here, he knows all too well that I love his blathering puns and fall on the floor laughing as I type them. What I won't tell him is that something of the silly experience is lost by getting this in E-Mail. Wouldn't want to encourage him any more than I already have.

(DON - JIM): Your comment to Nietzsche last time brought to mind something Twain once said, to whit: ``A verb has a hard time enough of it in this world when it's all together. It's downright inhuman to split it up. But that's just what these Germans do. They take part of a verb and put it down here, like a stake, and they take the other part of it and put it way over yonder like another stake, and between these two limits they just shovel in German." Probably a lot of truth to that, especially with Friedrich.

(ITALY to TURKEY): Admit it - you're liking this game WAY better now that you don't have to worry about being stabbed by me or Rothenheber. True or not?

(PARTRIDGE to WILLIAMS): Whew! I'm glad you got that bit of bile out, hope it didn't give you an ulcer. It's obviously been festering in there a while as we haven't corresponded in many months. Must be a California thing, you seem to be using the same rose-colored glasses as Reagan to look at the past. There was never a time when A/I had the upper hand or was ever a threat to Turkey despite a poor guess on my part early on. The R/T line was perfectly stable until Russia stabbed me. At that point I did not ``beg for mercy". I told you that I did not want to see Russia profit further from the stab and offered you two choices, either I would hand my centers over to you or I would work with you against Russia, with no concern for ever heading west again. Yes, I offered to puppet, but hardly pleaded, I was perfectly happy to give you the centers if you wanted. You accepted the offer of puppet and yes, after only a year (a fairly long 4 seasons in this szine) I did turn on you. That was mainly because in all the conversations we had, you were openly more concerned with Turkey ever getting another build than with attacking Russia. If you weren't willing to accept my doing anything, there really wasn't much point in it for me was there? Of course I made a silly proposal on the last turn before I was eliminated, what other kind could I have made? And certainly stranger things have happened. Given that Jonas turned on you immediately afterwards, it really wasn't that silly after all was it? As to our negotiations, well your accuracy there seems on par with the rest of your history. You started this game with some truly excellent letters and a number of enjoyable phone calls. These faded away however and the notes got shorter and sourer. To the accusation that that tone may have been reflected back in my responses, well if that was the case I'm sorry for it. I'm more sorry that you applied such hyperbole to it however and that you felt that a public character attack was the proper response. This is a only a game and I don't invest enough of my ego in it to ever have become upset with anyone over their actions in it. I hope life lightens up on you enough, and you on it, to remember that the object of all this is to have fun.

(ITALY to ENGLAND): Same comment, but substitute ``Pustilnik and Alme" for me ... you can leave Rothenheber in, though.

(DEAD BLOCKS to ITALY): Hey, WE liked your press. It gave our otherwise overlooked and insignificant lives some meaning, and we thank you.

(DEAD BLOCKS - MISCREANTS): So there. PLlllllllpppppppp!!!!!!

(DEAD BLOCKS to GREEN BLOCKS): Come join us soon?

FRANCE HAS WON!!!

THIS ISSUE SHOWS THE LAST OF THE END GAME STATEMENTS!!!

Addresses of the Participants

AUSTRIA: Brad Wilson, 123 N. 3rd Street, 3rd Floor, Easton, PA 18042, (610) 923-6610 ($4) ENGLAND: Rich Shipley, 1001 Mariner Court, Joppatown, MD 21085, (410) 360-1005 ($0)

FRANCE: Phil Reynolds, 2896 Oak Street, Sarasota, FL 34237, (941) 953-6952 ($4)

GERMANY: Doug Kent, 10214 Black Hickory Rd., Dallas, TX 75243 (214) 234-8386

ITALY: Stuart Lancaster, 4127 SW Webster, Seattle, WA 98136, (206) 937-4542 ($4)

bb405 of scn.org or bb404 of scn.org

RUSSIA: Randy Ellis, General Delivery, Grant Village, Yellowstone Natl. Park, WY 82190 ($5)

TURKEY: Jeff Ellis, 2120 Ramrod, #1517, Henderson, NV 89014, (702) 450-6361 ($2)

jeff6911 of aol.com

GM: Jim-Bob Burgess, 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327, (401) 351-0287

Game Notes:

1) This game now goes away and life of the game subs end for Rich, Brad, and Phil. The default is to apply your NMR insurance to the sub until it expires. Tell me if you want to do something else. Phil is leaving with this issue and we also say good bye to Rich.

Sorry for not writing this sooner, but laziness got (actually, gets) the better of me when it can. Echoing Randy, this was one of the best, most fun and most nervewracking games I've played in a while.

Best, not just because I won, but because of how I won: ruthlessly eliminating two neighbors, pulling a stab at just the right time, and sticking with one ally all the way to the end (which was great for me, not so great for him). The first two aspects are not uncommon to me: You have to conquer at least one neighbor and pull a well-timed stab to win, in my experience. But for me, the critical stab is usually aimed at my primary ally at the beginning of the endgame, rather than at one ally in the early game and at a second in the midgame.

Most fun, mainly because of Stuart and Randy (and, for a while, Rich). Brad and Jack never wrote to me, and Doug wrote only to suggest that if I back off of Germany he would consider becoming my ally. (Yeah, like I was going to give up my advantageous position!) Jeff and I corresponded some, but it was limited to the early turns and maybe a few times before Turkey fell. Rich and Stuart were very cooperative, though I turned on Rich very quickly. Randy was cooperative in the beginning, and I had planned to make him my game-long ally (France and Russia, stuck in their corners, team up to mash everyone else before slugging it out one-on-one - that was our deal), but I got suspicious of him before too long.

And, finally, most nervewracking, because of Randy's shenanigans and my fear that Stuart would wise up, ally with Russia and force a three-way draw. But I ended Randy's capriciousness by stabbing him in the midgame. As for Stuart, I did one of my best jobs ever trying to soothe him, acting casual and saying all I wanted to do was eliminate Randy, settling for a draw with Italy. Of course, winning the game was my one and only goal - as it always is.

As the game began, I wanted to avoid war with Italy, since there is little profit there. Stuart must have had the same idea. Besides I've played a French-Italian alliance before (as Italy, all the way to a 16-18 loss), so I know how well it works as a defensive strategy. Jack was silent, so that left Rich as the only choice for a neighborly ally (which I always try to get). Since I had long-range goals with Russia, who also was moving some troops west, I chose to hit England on its undefended west coast and work with Russia to eliminate Germany.

Actually, it wasn't that easy. Russia wanted to take out Germany first, then England. I had to have it the other way around, since I had already stabbed England. First things first, you know. Randy remained steadfast in his position, so I just did my thing while he did his. After England was split between us, Germany remained with four centers so I got my way, because Russia agreed to attack Germany. (I think Doug tried the same ultimatum on Randy, to no success.)

This set up the critical stab. After much checking and counterchecking over how France and Russia would deploy around England, I agreed to Randy's proposal to convoy his army in Edinburgh to Kiel to launch our German campaign. Instead, I moved on Germany myself and bettered my position in the northwest. This mainly because I felt I had been flim-flammed twice by Germany earlier in the game, once in his refusal to sack England early and the other when he agreed to - and failed to - support my attack on Munich. I believed I could trust Randy no longer, and the long convoy, which made sense for Randy if he really wanted to be my ally, seemed like the perfect opportunity for me to turn the table on Russia.

Meanwhile, Stuart was having slower success at growing, but I asked him to remain patient - his reward would come soon. Besides, neither of us had any troops near the other, so there was little threat of our falling out at this stage,

With Russia suddenly on the ropes, I took over most of Germany and Scandinavia, battling with Randy over Sweden and Berlin. But my troops outnumbered his, and soon they fell, too. After such success, the issue now was, how am I going to get my 18th center? Italy was still my ally, though he began expressing concerns about my having 13 centers and cruising while he had 7 and still was growing slowly. I tabbed St. Petersburg as my 17th dot and said I would halt my progress then, only to help him along unless Randy agreed to a French-Italian draw (which, by the way, I never proposed and never voted for!). I decided that since my progress through Germany was going unhindered, Warsaw or Moscow would probably be my 18th, although I was adjacent to Italy's undefended Vienna for a few turns. (That was most nervewracking! Should I stab Stuart or not? I decided that it was a little too soon, and patience had helped me throughout the game, so I stuck with my same flow of movement).

Toward the end, as I had taken St. Petersburg and was beginning to place armies to the north and west of Warsaw and Moscow, I knew I could no longer keep southern France undefended. So I used a couple of builds and northern fleets to fashion a garrison - and an assault group if I had to turn on Stuart for my 18th dot. Good thing, too, because Italy built and began moving a few units toward France! But the game was already over by now: Russia made some bad moves and could not defend both Warsaw and Moscow. One had to fall, and it did, and I won.

I think I played a fine game strategically, although luck was with me all the way. The only tactical mistake I made was letting Randy's stranded army in England live so long. I was setting up to squash it early on, but it wriggled through my line. Then I guarded the three centers and left it alone, getting on with the war in Germany and Scandinavia. But as the game neared its end, I used several fleets to bury the army at the appropriate time. However, this delay may have been something that kept France and Italy from fighting, since I was not turning back toward the Mediterranean.

This was my first game with Randy and Stuart. I'll be wary of both in the future, because I know how Randy thinks, and I know Stuart must feel used. Oh, well, that's the way it goes with Diplomacy!

((Indeed it is. I really am sorry to see you leaving the szine. We'll miss you; however, you couldn't have gone out on a stronger note.))

Sorry for not sending in my Nekayah endgame statement sooner, hope you can still print it. ((Of course, your delay ended up precisely matching Phil's.))

For me, the Nekayah game began with a blabbering, rambling phone call from Randy Ellis on the day I received the gamestart notice in the mail. In short, Randy said Jeff had gone too far by impersonating ``Brad Wilson'', and suggested I join him in attacking Jeff, asking me to open with a Lepanto. Soon after I heard Jeff's version of the Brad Wilson call. . . ``He (Randy) then told me how he grew up with the Italian player, Stuart Lancaster, and how he was also a lying, cheating, good for nothing drip. I said, `is that so?'. Randy said yes, affirmatively. Being Austria, I felt I needed more information on the Italian player, so Randy volunteered, `You should trust Stuart about as far as you can throw him'. After hearing all of this, and his plans for dismantling my country, and various other propaganda, I informed him of who he was really talking to. "

Hmm, Randy didn't mention any of this when he called me. . . But then, of course, Jeff could have been lying. And what if I confronted Randy with Jeff's allegation? He'd deny it of course. Thus, from the very start, goal number one for the Italian Empire, was to eliminate BOTH Ellis brothers at the first possible opportunity.

Austria: Despite what was said in Brad Wilson's endgame statement, I never received a single letter from Austria, so I attacked in spring '01. Sorry if I went overboard in one press release, but most of the other press was not written by me.

While the Austrian Empire was rapidly crumbling, I decided to take a chance and stab Russia. I stabbed Russia in F '03, with the goal of stabbing Turkey in Spring '04, and securing all of Austria for myself. I wrongly believed that Randy and Jeff would not be able to get their act together before it was too late. I felt relatively comfortable with my non-aggression pact with France, and I was convinced that if I didn't stab, Russia would be in a position to take most of Turkey and would eventually stab me anyway.

The big mistake with my plan was telling Jeff that I was planning to stab Randy. Apparently Jeff did not believe me, and he moved into the Ionian, which I never should have left open. From that point on, I was on the defensive again the newly formed R/T alliance. Despite only taking one center from Russia, had Jeff not made it into the Ionian, I think I would have had a better than 50/50 chance against the R/T alliance.

England: Received only one letter from Rich Shipley the entire game.

Germany: Received only one letter from Germany (from Doug Kent) the entire game. From the start, I wanted to see a strong Germany that I could ally with. I was disappointed that things didn't change when Doug Kent took over. I think any chance I had of winning this game ended when Russia and Prance partitioned Germany. This game would have been totally different had there been a strong Germany to keep Russia and France in check.

France: Congratulations to Phil for a well deserved win. From the start I considered the ``F/I" alliance to be little more than a strong non-aggression pact. I was to move my units East, while Phil moved West. While in the early and mid parts of the game neither of us were in the position to stab the other, most of my negotiations with France consisted of me giving France reasons why he would be better off by not stabbing me. I considered Phil's vagueness to be somewhat disconcerting, and I suspected France would stab the minute the opportunity presented itself. There really weren't many situations where Phil and I could work together. I had a couple of opportunities to support France into Berlin early in the game, but I didn't want to see France get too large while I was bogged down in the East. I only hesitantly welcomed the French army into Piedmont as a last defense against R/T.

Middle Game: From 1904-1907 I was on the defensive against the Evil Ellis alliance. I had no doubt in my mind that with the right prodding, either Randy would stab Jeff, or visa versa. The only question was who would stab whom, and how small would I be when the stab happened. I was in constant contact with Randy the whole game, though his constant COA's had a definite negative impact. I was in less contact with Jeff who I think had succumbed to Randy's ``Italy and Turkey are natural adversaries" theory. I think I did a pretty good job of holding off R/T, which I credit mostly to the control of the seas.

For me, the game started to get interesting after 1907. In 1907 Russia stabbed Turkey, Russia and France divided Germany, and I began my recovery from a 4 center power in 1907 to 11 centers by 1911. Russia's dividing of Germany with France was probably Randy's biggest mistake of the game, eventually allowing France to take all of Germany and England uncontested.

By 1910 the game was down to the 3 people who deserved to win. Phil had 13 centers, Randy had 11, and I had 7. I was allied with Russia against Turkey, and my non aggression pact with France was going strong, though I was surprised that France did not try to stab. At the time I felt I had to stab either Russia or France, or risk being divided like Germany. All of my units were on Russia's border, so I stabbed Russia. My stab of Russia was a good one. In one year I took Vie, Bud, and Gre. I eliminated Turkey, and Russia was totally out of position. His two southern fleets were landlocked, and his two southern armies were stuck in Turkey. All of Russia's other units were facing France. I was in a good position for 2 way with France, all Russia had to do was roll over and die. Russia did more than roll over and die.

I was not that surprised that Randy let France take all of his centers after my stab. I have played numerous FTF games with Randy, and several times he has tried to employ his ``throw my dots" strategy after being stabbed. This was however the first time I've seen this strategy actually affect the outcome of a game. The usual effect is Randy sitting in the corner, sulking in his misery, sucking his ``Old Milwaukee Lite" while the others continue the game.

By this time I was losing interest in the game. Phil had offered to end the game by letting me take 17 centers, though I don't know if he was serious, and I didn't reply. Phil earned the win, but I felt I couldn't just let him walk into 18 centers without resistance. In the end I succumbed to Randy's strategy and formed a last minute alliance with Russia to try to stop France from winning.

But it didn't work and Phil won. A memorable and hard fought game. I really enjoyed GMing it and interacting with all of you. I remember the day Randy approached me and said, ``Hey, I'd really like to play in a postal game with my brother, and with our friend Stu. Do you think you can put the rest of it together and run it?'' ``Sure'', I said, and we were off and running. This game had one of my favorite characteristics. It never bogged down into a stalemate line battle. It was fluid throughout, with lots of alliance changes and lightning stabs. Even at the end, Phil won fair and square with 18 centers; however, it looked like the reforged IR alliance could have thrown him back if they were just given more time. Thanks to all of the players (originals and standbys).

THE DUE DATE FOR FALL 1913 IS AUGUST 2ND, 1997

Summer 1913

FRANCE (Rauterberg): has a BUR, f SKA, a RUH, a TYO, a HOL,

f ADR, a NAP, a TRI, a VEN, f TUN, f APU, f NTH, f TYH.

GERMANY (Zarr): has a MUN, a GAL, a BOH, a SIL, a BER,

a UKR, a VIE, a NWY, a MOS, f DEN, f KIE.

TURKEY (Johnson): has a BUL, a GRE, a ARM, f EAS, a BUD,

a SEV, a SER, a RUM, f AEG, f ION.

Addresses of the Participants

FRANCE: Paul Rauterberg, 3116 W. American Drive, Greenfield, WI 53221, (414) 281-2339

Pprosit of execpc.com

GERMANY: Harold Zarr, 215 Glen Drive, Iowa Falls, IA 50126-1957, (515) 648-2821

RUSSIA: Eric Brosius, 53 Bird Street, Needham MA 02192 ($5)

72060.1540 of CompuServe.COM

TURKEY: Stan Johnson, 1254 East Broadway Road #56, Mesa, AZ 85204, (602) 668-1105

GM: Jim-Bob Burgess, 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327, (401) 351-0287

Game Notes:

1) The FG draw is rejected.

Press:

(BOOB): All yet still quiet on the Western Front....

THE DUE DATE FOR WINTER 1915 IS AUGUST 2ND, 1997

THE DUE DATE FOR SPRING 1916 IS AUGUST 23RD, 1997

Fall 1915

AUSTRIA (Davis): a BUD S a gal-rum, a BOH-gal, a TRI-ser, a TYO-ven, a GAL-rum.

FRANCE (Zarr): a GAS S f spa(nc), f BRE S f mid, a MAR S f spa(nc), a POR S f spa(nc),

f SPA(NC) S f mid, f MID h, f ENG S f mid.

GERMANY (Jones): a stp-MOS, a SIL S a war, a PRU S a war, a LVN S a stp-mos, a MUN S a sil, a BUR S a mun, a RUH S a mun, a WAR S a stp-mos, f BAL h, f GOB h.

TURKEY (Weiss): a BUL S a ser, a TUS S a f ven, a SER S a ukr-rum, a UKR-rum,

f tyh-GOL, a SEV S a ukr-rum, f WES-mid, f NAF S f wes-mid, f gol-PIE, f VEN S f gol-pie (imp).

Supply Center Chart

AUSTRIA (Davis):

tri,bud,vie

(has 5, rem 2)

FRANCE (Zarr):

bre,par,por,lvp,lon,edi,spa,mar

(has 7, bld 1)

GERMANY (Jones):

mun,kie,ber,den,hol,bel,swe,nwy,

(has 10, bld 1)

stp,mos,war

TURKEY (Weiss):

ank,con,smy,bul,rum,sev,gre,

(has 10, bld 3)

tun,nap,rom,ven,ser

Neutral:

none

(Total=34)

Addresses of the Participants

AUSTRIA: Rick Davis, 2009 Bodega Avenue, Petaluma, CA 94952, (707) 773-1044

redavis914 of aol.com FRANCE: Harold Zarr, 215 Glen Drive, Iowa Falls, IA 50126-1957, (515) 648-2821

GERMANY: Charles Jones, 1722 Quail Circle, Corona, CA 91720-4155, (909) 735-8981

RUSSIA: Eric Schlegel, 314 Fords Lane, Aberdeen, MD 21001, (410) 272-3314

TURKEY: Richard Weiss, 231 Guerrero Drive, Tamuning, Guam 96911-3808, (671) 647-3478

GM: Jim-Bob Burgess, 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327, (401) 351-0287

Game Notes:

1) The GAFT and GFT draws are rejected.

Press:

(GERMANY >> > MIKE BARNO): If all I had to rely on was Richard to kill my oppressor and liberate me, I think I'd rather have asked Elmer Fudd to shoot me in the head. So am I reading the ``Current Standings'' correctly? Are you one of those people who've never won a game? No wonder you have faith in Richard.

(TUR-THE REAL TURKEYS): Is that all you can do?

(GERMANY >> > AUSTRIA): Sorry for the screw-up. That move insured that I could kill a Turkish Army, and no other.

(GERMANY >> > JIM-BOB): Sorry that I missed the Summer deadline. How does the off-season deadline work anyway, if you don't have a move?

(JIM-BOB to GERMANY): It is ``press only'', unless the players all have orders for fall in and request that the game move on more quickly. Occasionally, that happens in games like yours that are moving toward the end game.

THE DUE DATE FOR FALL 1908 IS AUGUST 2ND, 1997

Summer 1908 - Note correction for Spring!

AUSTRIA (Pustilnik): has a SER, a ALB, a BUD.

ENGLAND (Hoffman): has a STP, a LVN, f CLY, a MOS, f NWG, f GOB, f BAR.

FRANCE (James): has a VEN, f ION, f EAS, f ADR, a TRI, a SYR, a TYO, f AEG.

GERMANY (Emmert): Spring: a SMY S FRENCH a ven-syr;

Summer: has a WAR, a UKR, a BOH, a SEV, a GAL, a SMY.

RUSSIA (Schultz): Spring: a arm-ANK, a sev-ukr (d r:arm,otb);

Summer: R a sev-ARM; has a ANK, a ARM, f CON, a BUL, a RUM.

TURKEY (Andruschak): has a GRE.

Addresses of the Participants

AUSTRIA: Michael Pustilnik, 140 Cadman Plaza West, #13J, Brooklyn, NY 11201, (718) 625-0651

ENGLAND: Karl Hoffman, 395 Imperial Way #220, Daly City, CA 94015, (415) 991-2394

KarlHoffmn of aol.com

FRANCE: Drew James, 8356 Radian Path, Baldwinsville, NY 13027-9357, (315) 652-1956

dkbn of msn.com

GERMANY: Steve Emmert, 1752 Grey Friars Chase, Virginia Beach, VA 23456, (757) 471-1842

SEMMERT of city.virginia-beach.va.us ITALY: Dan Gorham, PO Box 279, Belmopan, Belize, CENTRAL AMERICA

Danielg of btl.net RUSSIA: John Schultz, #19390, F-E88, Indiana State Prison, PO Box 41, Michigan City, IN 46361-0041 TURKEY: Harry Andruschak, PO Box 5309, Torrance, CA 90510-5309, (310) 835-9202

GM: Jim-Bob Burgess, 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327, (401) 351-0287

GM EMERITUS: Garret Schenck, now lost, HELP!

GSchenck39 of aol.com - CANCELLED!

Game Notes:

1) The dreaded Western Triple FEG has been rejected.

2) Germany had changed his order for A Smyrna in a personal note to me. I missed integrating into the order stream and it caused the cascade which resulted in Russia getting into Ankara and his army in Sevastopol being able to retreat to Armenia. I apologize, but would remind people, ESPECIALLY with order changes by E-Mail that they should submit them separately and not integrate them with other things that I might not be looking at while I'm adjudicating. Still, I seem to be making a mistake with this game nearly every season. It is because it is the last game in the szine and I'm rushing to finish, but that's no excuse. We'll try to fix that up in the future. Sorry about that!

Press:

(BERLIN to PARIS): I think Schultz has taken after those Islamic fanatics in his new home away from home. You know, unable to accept defeat; heedless of personal pain; and so forth. You're right - the only way to end that is to squash them like a bug.

(RUSSIA-FRANCE): Nope! Looks no better to me. Better to die in glory than serve in disgrace.

(TERMINIX to SCHULTZ): You're next, buddy.

(RUSSIA-VENICE AND SMYRNA): I love all those pretty convoys. Damn shame you have to spend all that effort on little ole' me.

(EFG to EWT HATERS): We hope you're enjoying this game as much as we are.

(RUSSIA-JAMES): I hope you're right about Harry surviving, but for it to happen, you definitely have to wipe me from the face of the map.

(VIRGINIA BEACH to PROVIDENCE): No problem on the no-builds-in-the-Black-Sea ruling. Still, with all those Russian corpses, we'll have some pretty fat sharks down there.

(VIRGINIA BEACH): Does anybody think that either Junior or McGwire can average eleven homers a month from here on out? ((Nope. Oakland would dearly love to deal McGwire, but don't think they can afford to do so if he's going to make a run and keep fans coming to the ballpark. If he doesn't hit at least five more dingers the rest of the month, he's gone. - Last second note, last thing typed in the szine, he hit two more dingers tonight so the odds go down...)) In early June, I thought Griffey would hit about 65 this year. ((Yeah, I almost thought the same.)) But a pace like that is tough to keep up. ((As we see, especially in terms of injury. Griffey has a series of nagging injuries that are decreasing his production.)) Now, I'm inclined to believe that Maris' record will fall next season, when expansion dilutes the quality of pitching even further. ((That appears to be a good prediction.)) Remember, Maris hit his 61 in an expansion year (1961, when the reborn Washington Senators and the Los Angeles Angels joined the American League). Babe Ruth, on the other hand, was a mutant. No excuses, no explanations, no asterisks, just an unbelievable hitter.

(HARRY-BOOB): ``Marching True'' is a phrase that simply means you are true to the old tradition of what is NOT worn under the kilt. No underwear, swimsuits, briefs, shorts, pants, anything. (Even if worn at mini-skirt or micro-skirt length, which was often the case in the old days, and which is slowly coming back into style. I have two kilts that short, mostly for use in southern California's HOT summer months.) Not to be confused with the phrase ``Marching Regimental.'' ((Indeed! Well, I'll give up now. I have followed your entire story each time, so it isn't anything that I didn't understand, but otherwise we clearly aren't on the same wavelength about what I'm asking. That's OK, and thanks for the updates!))

Personal Note to You: