``When you have a place in the country, lay out twenty pounds a year upon a laboratory. It will be an amusement to you.... Take a course of chemistry or a course of rope dancing, or a course of anything to which you are inclined at the time. Contrive to have as many retreats for your mind as you can, as many things to which it can fly from itself.'' Dr. Samuel Johnson, as quoted by his illustrious scribe James Boswell in his Life of Johnson. Boswell's comment upon Johnson's answer to his question as to what he should do to overcome melancholy and hypochondria is a bit more pithy... ``There was a liberal philosophy in this advice which pleased me much. I thought of a course of concubinage, but was afraid to mention it.'' Not as much fun as sex, but still THE hobby... join the editor as he seeks yet again to achieve a state of szineness. See also my editorial buried someplace below.

On time? Wow, it must be summer!!

The postal sub price is a flat $1.00 per issue in the US and Canada. You can double that for other foreign subbers (or $2.00 per issue sent airmail). Players in current games and standbys will continue to get the issues for free, and new game starts (except for Nuclear Yuppie Evil Empire Diplomacy, which is free) cost $15.00 ($10.00 for a life of the game subscription and $5 for the NMR Insurance). The current game opening for Colonial Diplomacy will start as soon as I get money from seven players since Nekayah has now ended. For more on this, see below. Also note that more results for the new demo game are included. Remember that music comments and reviews are scattered through the game press at times.

By electronic mail, through the Internet, subs are free and can be obtained automatically by sending the message: subscribe tap

to majordomo of diplom.org and messages can be sent to the entire electronic mailing list by mailing them to tap of diplom.org which will forward your message to all of the people currently on the list. The message:

unsubscribe tap

sent to majordomo of diplom.org gets you off the list. Please make careful note of that as well since you generally can get yourself off the list a lot easier than I can, and NOBODY likes to see unsubscribe messages sent to the entire list. A big, big thank you for David Kovar for setting this all up!! Note that everything has been moved to the diplom.org site. See David's letter below. The Cal Tech ftp site is being mirrored on the diplom.org machine as well. Issues of The Abyssinian Prince #131 to the present are available via anonymous FTP from ftp.ugcs.caltech.edu in the pub/diplomacy/Zines/TAP directory in compressed postscript format. The gracious assistance of Kevin Roust is most appreciated in keeping up this site. The files begin ap131.ps.Z and go sequentially from there. Since it's UNIX based, all of those upper and lower cases are important. If anyone wants help from me on doing this, they only have to ask and I can help you determine if you have access to FTP which stands for File Transfer Protocol and can handle postscript files. The Caltech site is at:

ftp://ftp.ugcs.caltech.edu/pub/diplomacy/WWW/

or check out the connections in the Diplomatic Pouch at its brand new address with all of the information you would need to play Diplomacy on the Internet at: /DipPouch

In addition, through Jamie McQuinn's portion of the Pouch, or directly through:

/pub/diplomacy/Zines/TAP/

you can access the mirror site to Caltech and get to the szine that way. This mirror site is lightning quick, or at least it has been for me recently.

In a BRAND NEW development, the szine also is available as a PDF file, readable with Adobe Acrobat's free reader. Before I do anything general, I want to test this with a few of you. If you already have Adobe's reader on your computer, E-Mail me for a copy.

Jerry Lucas has been gone for some time, but he is fondly remembered as the hobby's only ``cross-dressing'' szine editor, playing Judy Winsome in the szine Winsome, Losesome. Jerry used to live in the Bay Area as a postal supervisor (many prominent hobby publishers have worked for the venerable USPS, among them newly re-crowned Boardman Number Custodian, Conrad von Metzke) and possibly still does. In the ``sharing names with prominent personalities'' it is NOT the same Jerry Lucas who once played basketball for the Knicks and who was known for launching high arcing jump shots that threatened to hit the center scoreboard of many arenas. Jerry Lucas is a common enough name though, that you guys may have the same problems searching for him that you did with Mike Mills. Nevertheless, off you go!! Someone win one of these, does fifty bucks mean nothing to you?? It's no fun offering prizes and not giving them away!! More hints will be forthcoming in future issues.

This is now going to be a regular continuing feature of the szine and I will be introducing a new ``search for'' every five issues. Moreover, you can win a $25 prize for finding some previous target who went unfound in the original $50 period. That means that if Kevin Tighe or Mike Mills or Garret Schenck is ``found'' from now on it is worth $25. Plus, Steve Emmert will throw in another ten spot for Garret Schenck if you can get Garret to write to him. The next person will be announced in Issue #195.

Winners will receive credit for Dip hobby activities that I will pay out as requested by the winner. Bid on PDORA items, subscribe to szines here or abroad, run your own contests, publish a szine, or whatever. Spend it all right away or use me as a bank to cover hobby activities for years. What must you do to win? Get me a letter to the editor for TAP from the person we're searching for. This is very important, just finding them doesn't do it. They have to write me a letter. The final judge as to the winner of any contest will be the target himself and I reserve the right to investigate the winning entry. When you find someone I'm looking for, you should ask him to send me a letter for print that includes a verification of who ``found'' him.

The British representative is the editor of Mission From God, John Harrington. John may be contacted at 30 Poynter Road, Bush Hill Park, Enfield, Middlesex EN1 1DL, UK (johnh of fiendishgames.demon.co.uk). The representives in Australia (John Cain, PO Box 4317, Melbourne University 3052, AUSTRALIA) or Belgium and some other European countries (Jef Bryant, Rue Jean Pauly, 121, B-4430 ANS, BELGIUM) also will forward your subscription on to the editor in either Australian dollars or continental European currencies respectively. Please include the full name and address of the foreign publisher with your order, if possible, as well as the szine title. Make your check in US dollars out to me personally. I will conduct business for Canadians as well, if I can, but prefer to deal in US dollars with them if possible, or Canadian dollars cash. To subscribe to American szines, the system works in reverse.

Thanks to Pete Duxon and Kim Head for recommending some Brit szines to me. I hope to get back to reviews this summer. When I do, Brit pubbers are welcome to write rejoinders to my reviews. My next review will be on Jef Bryant's Dipsomania which is probably the only szine simultaneously published in both French and English. Obviously, I haven't gotten to it yet again this time.

Obscure and not-so-obscure ramblings on the state of the hobby and its publications, custodians, events, and individuals with no guarantee of relevance from the fertile keyboard of Jim-Bob, the E-Mail Dip world, and the rest of the postal hobby. My comments are in italics and ((double quotation marks)) like this. Bold face is used to set off each individual speaker. I should also make a note that I do edit for syntax and spelling on occasion.

A brief editorial from me first. There was a neat little article in the New York Times Magazine on Sunday, May 25th, entitled ``Elegy for the Hobby''. It isn't about The Hobby (meaning ours) specifically, but says a lot about the decline of hobbies in the urban commuter environment of today, where everything you do has to be aimed at achieving greater general social status. Here's a quote that sums up a lot of ideas from the article: ``True hobbies require single-mindedness. They provide a strong counterbalance to work. They are a marital aid, a mechanism for spouse avoidance. They involve the accumulation of equipment and lore; that is, irredeemably specific information. This gives the hobbyist a pleasing sense of progress - or pseudoprogress, because hobbies are conservative. Here is the prime law of hobbies: Absorbing but Not Transforming. They fill the mind without altering it.''

I don't completely agree with everything in there (and would welcome debate on the issues), but I do resonate strongly with the single-mindedness (in a complex world where everything else is not) and the counterbalance to work. I think that's one reason why you don't get professional negotiators playing a lot of Diplomacy. They need to have a hobby like building model airplanes where they control the building of every little piece, instead of having to work out concessions of every point. The perceived ``decline'' in some quarters of the hobby, remains largely irrelevant to me. I do this primarily for me. I hope you do it primarily for you. And I hope we all can go on enjoying it together. Read on in the knowledge that everything you learn below is irredeemably specific. But also in some knowledge that you have chosen a hobby that is at the liberal end of the ``transformation'' scale of hobbies, it is for you to reason why.

Larry Peery (Thu, 22 May 1997 19:36:57 -0700)

Greetings!

For those of you who have Web access, Peeriblah is now at home at:

``http://www.geocities.com/~ peery"

Thanx to all who helped on this effort, and especially to Mike who made my vision a reality. Well, sort of ...

Richard Weiss (Sat, 31 May 97 19:58:54 PDT)

Jim: You misrepresent my complaint and are consciously avoiding the issue because you know you are wrong. ((The issue being publishing press in a summer season that is unlabelled, but submitted with Fall advance orders.)) Seasonal orders followed by ``to go" orders which contain press is 1) a common receipt by a GM with a commonly acceptance as to when to publish the press; 2) is unequivocal. But, for Bob-Heads, such as you, I'll be triply explicit in the future < g > .

((And so you shall be, since I have no intention of changing the policy I've always had, regardless of commonly accepted rules.))

Andy York (Fri, 30 May 1997 08:08:05 -0400 (EDT))

Hi, I have just had the time to go through the latest TAP. Yep, you've listed my EMail address properly (well, one of them). I can be reached at wandrew of aol.com, wandrew of compuserve.com or wandrew of juno.com. I check all of them at least daily if I am in town.

By now you should know Conrad von Metzke is now the pubber of PONT. As soon as I can get the next EVERYTHING out, he'll be the BNC as well. I do appreciate your having listed PONT in TAP every time - yes, I've received some inquiries based on your advert. THANKS!!

((You're quite welcome, you do realize this also means the end of our trade. See below! I'm sorry to hear of your relinquishing of so many publishing duties, but surely understand it.))

As for CD's and music, I didn't really buy anything in '96 that really stands out. I finally was able to get a copy of the 2nd B5 CD and quite enjoy it. However, of late, the Greatest Hits of Fleetwood Mac, Fogerty's latest Blue Moon Swamp and Diamond's September Moon have been getting repeated playings. As a side note, one of the folks I work with spent most of today (May 29th) with George Strait filming his new video. If you see someone driving a '77 (I think) Grey pick-up in the video with a black LOPD SWAT T-Shirt on, that's him!! ((I hope he doesn't get in trouble for wearing Police Department issue clothing on a commercial video. Here in Providence, they got in big trouble when one of the policemen lent his uniform to a woman who wore it in a video.... but the T-Shirt is much less ``formal''.))

On another tack, as I'm cutting down on my hobby activities (reducing my GMing load, zine load, BNC load, etc), I can be a more active standby than in the past. Feel free to use me in any game and I'll even write letters!!

Keep up the GREAT work!!

((Thank you. And good that you are still a standby, since that keeps the szine coming your way. Be assured that you have moved to the top of the list.))

((Send me a write up of any sort you want about 1996 music for you, what YOU liked. Or risk having me get disgusted with the worthless lot of you and have me fold in a huff (I'll repeat this as long as it gets a reaction, probably only another issue or two, then I'll fold.... heh, heh, heh). It can be a list of records, include descriptions or not, include singles, concerts, re-releases, whatever you want to talk about. It doesn't matter if I like it, it matters if you like it. At least I hope it does!! No set number required. I will finish my list later this month. In the meantime, lots of fun stuff from Brad Wilson... and others.))

Steve Emmert (Fri, 30 May 1997 13:02:01 -0400)

Dear Jim:

Richard Weiss' mention of ``albums of the decade and of the millenium" is dangerous - you don't want to get me started on this. I will nominate a handful, without going into the detail that this issue could engender.

Blind Faith is amazing; it makes you wonder what else they would have produced if egos hadn't prevented their recording more than one album.

The Allman Brothers Band Live at Fillmore East is my nominee for best live album. I have heard that Get Your Ya Ya's Out by the Stones is a classic, but I must shamefully confess I've never heard it. (Sidebar: I have a hard time deciding on my favorite Stones album, but I'll give the nod to Sticky Fingers over Let It Bleed, simply because ``Can't You Hear Me Knocking" is so damn good. End of sidebar.)

John Barleycorn Must Die. Every tune is a keeper.

Regatta de Blanc, in my foolish opinion, contains neither the best Police tune nor the next-best, but it has numbers three, four, five and six. Absolutely wonderful if you like ska.

Rio Grande Mud by ZZTop.

I'm tempted to add Letters from Home by Pat Metheny, but if you open up the field to jazz, then you have to include Seven Steps to Heaven and Kind of Blue by Miles Davis, and that leads in turn to blues, where I could close my eyes and point to any Muddy Waters album, and half of John Lee Hooker's, and now the list is starting to get big and unwieldy.

I have just upgraded my home PC to bring me into the latter half of the 90's. I'll spare you the details, but if any of the CG's (computer geeks) are interested, I can tell them all about it. I'll still keep my sub coming to the office, as I'm not sure how often I'll log on at home.

((There is a large history in Dip szines over the past few years in describing computer setups. As someone who began programming old IBM 1620's with op codes from the console back when I was just a young'un, such stuff doesn't appeal to me very much. I've been through so many generations, I can't even remember them any more. The readership is free to do as they please.))

Steve Emmert (Mon, 02 Jun 1997 08:49:55 -0400)

Dear Jim - We would have had more luck if Jerry Garcia were still alive - then I would suggest that we check at any Dead concert in the Northeast for a fair chance of finding the ol' rascal. (Schenck, not Garcia.)

Having been on-line for about two days now, I want to know how anyone other than Evelyn Wood and Deep Blue can ever get around to checking out even one twentieth of one percent of the stuff that's out there. Yeesh. I just began to look at the baseball stuff, and my head started to hurt while I was still looking at the menu. But one good (or maybe bad) thing has happened - my cyberphobic wife got on line with one of her pals in NYC Saturday night and had a blast exchanging IM's. Caroline is looking at the thing with increasing curiosity, although she still hasn't mastered the mouse. When she gets a couple of years older, I guess I'd be best advised to just give her the keys and forget about using the damn thing myself.

Ken Peel (Sun, 1 Jun 1997 21:26:18 -0400 (EDT))

Jim - Still trying to figure out Mike Barno's letter in TAP #189. It starts out well, of course, as would anything that launches with the words ``Ken Peel,...", but it then continues with ``...Mark Lew, James Wall, and you sometimes get to see government officials in unusual situations." Now, I am oldie and moldie enough to have once known Mark Lew and James Wall pretty well. Do they feed of the federal trough as well? Didn't know that. ((No, other than their interest in commenting on political issues, I'm not sure exactly why Mike said that.))

Okay, so you have gotten my attention. What else shall I say from Deadwoodsville? Hmm... I read an interview on Wired's Internet site with Harry Turtledove, the well-known sf a-h writer (that's science fiction alternate-history, for the non-cognoscente). Seems when he was a graduate student at UCLA he played a lot of Diplomacy. Sorry, that's the totality of the story.

Hmm... now for a segue into a surprisingly-related tidbit. During that interview Turtledove panned the Gingrich-Forstchen sf a-h novel, 1945 (he also implicitly panned Forstchen, a fellow well-known sf a-h writer). This was in the context of a discussion of his own ``cowritten" book, The Two Georges, with a celebrity, Richard Dreyfuss. ((Yes, the ``co-writing'' business is getting to be epidemic.)) To change lanes slightly, and to get back to the original topic, I recently bought a hardback copy of 1945 cheap (I hear most were returned to the publisher, who plans to pulp them). I took the copy to a friend who works for Gingrich, and got it signed to me (``To my friend Ken, Newt"). Gee, that was nice. I've never yet met the man. Maybe that was in an alternate-history. ((Hey, c'mon, Ken, you work in DC and know better than that. Everyone's a friend, until they're you're enemy. And even then, enemies make deals, when it's in their interest, especially if they're secret.))

It looks like I might be in Hong Kong for the turnover this June 30-July 1. I got invited to join a congressional staff delegation there. Hey, I missed Berlin in 1989. This time I'll get to see things go the other way. Reminds me of the Machiavelli quote, ``The despot who takes over a free city and does not destroy it, will himself be destroyed." That's a paraphrase. Can't seem to find my copy of The Prince around here anywhere. I don't expect to see anything much when I am there. Much more important is what comes six months to a year later. Does the civil service remain honest? Does Hong Kong's rule of law stay intact? Does PRC-style cronyism take hold? If the answer is yes, yes, no, then Hong Kong has a chance. If not, then legal ``guarantees" of individual liberties will mean nothing, and electoral procedures will have no significance. ((I agree, but one thing I am glad is gaining prominence, that I have argued for years (even in these pages) is the importance of the ``Rule of Law''. To economists it should be obvious (though Jeffrey Sacks and Andrei Shleifer [Andrei being one of the two people in trouble for making money on the Russian markets while advising the Russian government] didn't figure this one out) that protecting property rights is the number one function of a functioning capitalist system. People don't understand that the fundamental characteristic of business is risk-taking or entrepreneurship. That's what creates wealth. Regardless of tax policy, if you aren't sure that the government will stand on your side on what you gain from your risk-taking being yours, you won't take the risk and the economy will go in the toilet. In short, Hong Kong is screwed.))

I was being lobbied recently be someone from Hong Kong's economic and cultural office in Washington about a new extradition treaty presently before the Senate. What is interesting about this is that it is a treaty between the United States and the government of Hong Kong, not with the PRC as sovereign authority. I have asked, and it appears that this is the first time we have negotiated a treaty with an entity that does not represent the sovereign authority of the jurisdiction (as least de facto, as we do have law enforcement treaties with, for instance Taiwan). To compare, the current treaties that involve Hong Kong are all technically with the UK. To get back to the point at hand, the Hong Kong representative was talking about all the important guarantees in the treaty - those ``guarantees" are critical, as we have no extradition treaty with China because of its generally corrupt judicial system. I asked whether there are any circumstances where an American extradited to Hong Kong could be sent on to China for trial. I received the answer ``no," and then pulled out a copy of Hong Kong's new ``Basic Law" passed by Beijing and showed him the broad judicial authority China maintained for issues that it considers affect national security. China has long used such authority to convict its own citizens for essentially anything it wanted to. The Hong Kong representative, it turns out had not read the actual text of either the extradition treaty or the Basic Law. Imagine! It always seemed worthwhile, when all else fails, to read the basic texts.

Not much more to say. Have we been in touch since I made the move from the staff of Sen. Olympia Snowe (R-Maine) to the staff of Sen. Chuck Hagel (R-Neb.)? ((Briefly, at least to talk about that.)) Snowe left the Foreign Relations Committee to take Cohen's seat on Armed Services. I wasn't out of a job, but since I didn't do her defense work, there wasn't much of a job left for me. Someone recommended me to Hagel, I got an offer, and I made the move. Hagel's a freshman Senator, but through a process that is too complicated to easily explain, managed to join the Foreign Relations Committee in the 4th ranking slot (ironically, the slot Snowe would have had if she had stuck with Foreign Relations). He is an amazing person, and I am very happy with the change.

That's it for now. Talk to you later (knowing me, probably considerably later),

Pete Duxon (6/5/97) ((That's Brit style...))

Hi Jim, Me again!

So you are a Christian and a dip player. So you're a stabbing git!! I'll file this in case I ever come across you in a game. ((I look forward to it.)) We have a Christian Fellowship Group at work and they send emails inviting us religiously challenged along. I reckon they are on drugs. ((Quite possibly.))

I see where Mark Stretch has stolen your search for idea. Is there nothing that the boy won't stoop to? ((Well, he did ask first... and I hope he has better luck than I have been having lately, where I define luck as ME losing money and the people are found.))

I liked the Junkies album but I still prefer the Trinity Session. I haven't bought a lot of music lately. I have finally got tickets to see Shawn Colvin, only taken 5 years.

You want some post election comments? Somewhere later in the letter.

Nothing wrong with having your own sports but you Americans ``seem'' to only play your own sports. Outside of North America, who really cares about the Superbowl or the World Series?? ((Our baseball is your cricket and I don't care about the Superbowl - I know this because I didn't even pay attention when the local team was in it.)) When the Soccer World Cup is played literally billions of people watch. ((Yeah, I think what you're really saying is that we don't like soccer. We have tried. Everyone knows how to play now, but we still don't like it. Sorry... it isn't a slight on the rest of the world. Basketball is very quickly becoming the new world game anyway.)) Cricket isn't a British sport anymore, given that it's big in India it's got a bigger supporter base than baseball. ((True enough, but I think baseball is growing faster around the world than cricket. What hasn't happened yet is that people haven't realized that Latin Americans play the sport better than the Americans, as you have realized about cricket with respect to the Indians.)) Sorry I can't see why anyone would watch college sport. Just seems very odd. ((I can't explain it to you. Perhaps in Britain it is still all tied up in your class system. Anyone can get into American universities.... and some view that as a problem.)) Sport is a fair indicator in the difference between America and Britain. American sport seems to have sold its soul for TV cash. To be fair, that is happening over here. So far Soccer matches can still end in draws. Sledging and trash talking seem to be the same thing. I'd like to see it outlawed. ((Well, I'd like it to stop. I'm not entirely sure outlawing it is the way to achieve that.))

The Spice Girls? Have you heard them? ((Yes.)) Have you seen them? ((No.)) Anyway, how old are you?? ((I turn 40 later this year.)) Melinda Messenger? I can only assume you've never seen the Sun and other papers of that ilk. Now don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with the unclothed female form, but in a family newspaper? I'm not into porn anyway. The pictures can't even claim to be erotic. I'm sure you can find one of these papers if you want.

I'm not sure if I recommended the Vega album but I did include ``World before Columbus'' on the tapes I sent you. ((You certainly did. And soon after that, I bought the album.)) It's certainly a fine album. Vega has many imitators but she is a unique artist.

Cardiff to Nottingham by train? ((Yup, the ``direct'' route is not direct in the sense of being fast.)) Well novel. Having said that you would have passed through many towns and millions of people. Map the UK on to a map of the US and then consider it contains 55-60 million people. As I say, it's a concept of scale. ((Agreed.))

One day I'll have to visit America but I won't go anywhere near Florida. I'm tempted by New England. Oh why are Americans so friendly?? ((Here in New England, we aren't. I too try to stay away from Florida but find myself there anyway at least a couple of times a year.)) One of my annoyances in life is the Americanisation of Britain. Does McDonald's taste as bad over there?? ((Actually, I think it's worse. Your beef is naturally more tasty than ours. But I wouldn't really know, since I never ate at any American chains while in Britain, and never eat in McDonald's here. I would tell you what I tell myself, if you don't like it, don't go there.))

Well, since you asked, the election and the British ``economic miracle''. Rich Goranson and Brent McKee were amazed that I stayed up all night watching the election results. ((I'm not, it's fun and exciting. Over here, with our computers, you pretty much know everything by Midnight, so there isn't much point, but I gather your balloting is still a bit more primitive.)) Rich said the result was obvious. Well, maybe, but in 92 the polls predicted a Labour win and we got the Tories again. ((Only the overall result though, weren't the specific results of interest, too?)) I sat down to watch the coverage and was amazed at the size of majority the exit polls gave. ((Are you seeing the phenomenon that we are seeing most prominently in New England? Enough people are refusing the exit pollsters that the results are skewed. Some people I know recommend answering every pollster question as the exact opposite of what you actually did, but this last election I just refused when approached. I think this will spread here as people are tired of being told by the media what they are doing and why.)) I phoned my Dad who didn't believe it either but as the results came in I was gobsmacked. Constituencies that were safe Tory seats fell. At work the next day we were saying ``can you believe Hove went Labour!!'' In hindsight it had to happen. The Tories believed Europe was the main issue (they still do) but it was all about the NHS, education, and job security.

I think the left in this country has missed the boat. The left in the Lobby certainly has missed what Thatcher did. Love or hate her (and I hate her!!) Thatcher changed people's perceptions. Thatcher made it much easier for people to own their own homes and to invest in stocks and shares. Essentially the left can't piss around with the markets because many of its supporters have invested in it either through endowment mortgages, unit linked pensions, PEPs/unit Trusts or through shares of privatised utilities. With a lot of Building Societies going public there'll be a lot of new share owners. For example one Building Society is ``giving'' me $6000 of shares. ((Clearly, in an overused analogy, Blair followed Clinton down the line of taking the ``non-conservative'' party toward an alliance with the financial markets. Once in, you would suspect that Blair would be very supportive of continuing the changes. I don't understand your banking system fully, but the thing that I wondered why you didn't discuss was the changes in regulatory oversight between the Bank of England and your government regulatory body. Perhaps, this is just a move toward the American system where our Federal Reserve is not also a general bank, operating in the market as well as regulating it. Historically, the Bank of England has been that, but as I understand it, no more. Still, your markets and commentators (from the view I see through the BBC World Service) seemed a little concerned.)) For good or ill Thatcher changed the rules. She targetted 70% of the population and engendered a society where they are significantly better off hence they go to Florida. The problem is the other 30%. Labour's traditional view was we want to raise taxes to help the poor and of course most of us being greedy bastards said sod off. Blair has realised that he had to get power and then keep it. If Labour can convince its supporters that the best way of helping the poor is by wealth creation, then it will do well. I'm sort of optimistic. The Tories seem to be lurching further to the right. I assumed you were being sarcastic about the British economy. Actually with a bit of job security it could do well. ((Um, saying what? The US view, with all the rest of what you said having already set in over here, would be that you don't need job security like that. This is debatable, but ``Me Inc.'' is pretty well set at the corporate level. We're even trying to implement it as the mindset in our government agency.))

How is the American economy? The American stock market has gone bananas. I keep hoping the Nikkei will do the same. ((Uh huh, have Japanese investments?? Everything in the US economy will go well for a few more years, then we are in trouble as our first wave of baby boomers (born 1945-1950) start retiring. Then things become a whole lot more uncertain.))

Well I've waffled on again. Hope you and the family are well. ((Hanging in there....))

PS Can you believe it snowed today!! ((Sure, it's been really cold here.)) On Saturday it was in the 80's!! ((We still haven't seen 80 degrees here. It may be the latest 80 degree day in the year this century if it goes much longer.)) What a mad world.

Brad Wilson (May 28, 1997)

Dear Jim: See, I told you I'd write a letter!

My news is that I am finally on the staff of a daily newspaper. The Express-Times is a 55,000-circulation daily based in Easton, Pa, a city of about 26,000, home of Lafayette College and about 65 miles from Philadelphia and 80 from New York. I am the paper's wrestling writer. In our area wrestling is beyond huge: last year 4 of the top 15 high school teams in the nation were ours, including #1 (Blair Academy, Blairstown, N.J.). Easton High was the Pa. state Class AAA team champ and we had seven individual champs in Pa. from Easton: Nazareth, Wilson (yup!) High and Palisades. In New Jersey we had one individual champ and the state Group 4 and Group 3 team winners. For a wrestling nut like me it is the ideal job in the ideal place; I can't wait for the season to start! Although there is a fair amount of out-of season wrestling news, I will also do Easton High football in the fall, field hockey (my favorite girls' sport!) and girls' soccer (well, it's OK) in the spring. I also do fill-in work, such as covering the Rangers-Flyers series in both NYC and Philadelphia when our regular guy was on vacation. That was fun; I don't lust after doing pro sports but I like hockey and the players are, generally, pretty nice, esp. Gretzky, Rod Brind'Amour, and Hextall.

The pay is OK, but that's not the point: the point is a) being on a daily; and b) more free time, at least in non-wrestling season. I actually have real days off now and since I am making a decent wage I have no need for a time-consuming second job (although I plan to pursue some freelance opportunities). Once I get settled that should allow for more Dip (VERTIGO comeback), more reading and more traveling to NYC and Philadelphia. My apartment in an old brownstone is right downtown, 1.5 blocks from the office and just 2 blocks from the park along the Delaware. My place is small but quaint with inlaid floors and a neat old-fashioned bathroom. Easton is a old city - it was important during the Revolution - which has been in the dumps but is coming back due to a) some tourist stuff, including a Crayola ``factory" downtown (Binney and Smith is headquartered here) and a canal museum and b) an art-culture-antiques renaissance downtown. There must be 10 art galleries within walking distance from me, plus some nice restaurants, bars, and some neat shops, and it's clear educated, fairly affluent people are moving into this area (my downstairs neighbor is a Lafayette prof). And with New Jersey a short walk over a National Engineering Landmark (the 1895 suspension bridge between Easton and its `twin' city, Phillipsburg, N.J.) away, I can ignore Pa.'s stupid, expensive liquor laws as well as gas up for 15 cents a gallon less, on average. So I am delighted at these developments.

((Great! I'm trying to get your letter into this issue and also keep the szine on time, but I can tell putting your life together will really help your attitude, if nothing else. Wow!))

Dip news: I would like to host monthly open gaming at my place on the final Sunday of the month. The first meet will be July 27 starting at 11 a.m. The gaming will stress multi-player diplomatic stuff: Dip, variants, Kingmaker, Civ, that sort of thing, although a hex game or two is fine as well. All welcome! Pubbers please plug! ((Plug!!!!)) The August date will be part of VERTIGO GAMES XI either in Easton or at VG's traditional location in Paoli, Pa. My phone #: 610-923-6610. ((I'll assume you'll update that as you know more. As you've been seeing in the szine, we've been getting together a Boston area group on much too infrequent a basis lately, but your con has been a real mainstay lately.))

OK, now to issue 188:

1 am a low-church Episcopalian (converted from Presbyterianism during college and still have a Calvinist mindset at times) myself (there's a church around the corner from me in Easton!) and I can't stand the fundamentalist nuts who have all the answers and are so certain their way is the only true way. I used to work with one, from Tennessee, and even though Jasper (his name) is well-educated (he went to Penn) on certain issues he sounds like someone born before Darwin or Locke. It's quite amazing. His intellectual viewpoint on matters of faith is closer to that of snake-handlers than educated Americans. And you are so right - there's NO arguing with them. ((I think in doing so it is always important to remember that it is our human weaknesses that drive us toward that answer. While I don't have that weakness, being very comfortable with the idea that many things are beyond my understanding and don't have simple answers, I have other weaknesses that prevent me from being open in other ways. In other words, we can't have it both ways.))

For example, we spent an hour one night (when we should have been working, but...) arguing about homosexuality and the Bible. As you might expect Jasper cited all the Leviticus stuff. I tried to bring the argument back to what Jesus said about gays (nothing) but he remained locked in Leviticus. I then asked if he believed in all of the Levitican strictures such as stoning adulters and the dietary laws. Seems to me if you are interpreting the Bible literally you can't really pick and choose what you like and don't like. His answer was confused and contradictory. ((Actually, that might have been where he was most honest; since the Bible is a much more complicated and contradictory document than some people make it out to be. Again, I think literal interpretations of the Bible are indicative of our weaknesses, it isn't always very literal, so should we be?))

I find much beauty and inspiration in the Book of Common Prayer and the Episcopalian liturgy. Those that don't are free to worship elsewhere. I am about as unevangelical and missionary as one could want and I dislike much of the touchy feely social nonsense that dominates the modern church. ((And some of that will get worse, not better, this summer in Philadelphia at the national convention. Unfortunately, this conflict played out in the open is part of the danger that you have to face when you look at things in all of their complexity.)) Worship is about God and God's word, not domestic politics, the situation in Nicaragua or Haiti or abortion. I do like to sing, though. I found an old (1928 version) Book of Common Prayer in our newspaper's library and have been reading that during breaks. Fascinating; the language is baroque but lovely. There's a renegade Anglican church near Philadelphia that still uses the old Prayer Book. My (very Episcopalian) grandparents used to talk about the beauty of the old book and I now see what they mean. ((Since the Episcopal Church is full of converts like us, I believe that familiarizing oneself with those roots (from which the uniquely Anglican look at worship comes from) is pretty important. I spent some time in a renegade church like that and my present church did some services out of various older Prayer Books as part of our 150th Anniversary celebration last year that I co-chaired. What's tough is respecting that beauty yet not treating it like another form of fundamentalism.))

I enjoyed meenng Iain Bowen at the one World DipCon I went to (Chapel Hill) and we had a good time together (say hello to him for me.) ((Read this part, Iain!!!))

TAP is great because it's like Old Home Week for us decrepit old farts. I mean on one page in #188 you name John Caruso, Vince Lutterbie, Steve Emmert, and Richard Weiss with Keith Sherwood, Mark Luedi and Mark Lew on the other page. Then later, Bruce Mclntyre of all people! Lord, Lord. It's 1991 again! Or 1986. Or 1982. ((Yeah, I'm kinda weird about that. I guess it is the same idea, I want to respect and celebrate the past while always living in the present.))

I kind of wondered what happened to John and Kathy; I go back a long way with them both and miss them devoutly. I was looking the other day at a photo of VERTIGO GAMES VI ('92) that had John and Kathy (and Amanda!) in it with Cal White, Kevin Kozlowski, Tom Swider, Dick and Julie Martin, Jack McHugh, Chris Bailey, Tom Mainardi, Jeff Bohner, and Steve and Linda Courtemanche. Sigh. Them was the days.

That brings up a question: what do you do when the hobby dries up around you? ((I've been trying to figure that out, while still going on anyway.)) The East Coast Clique, for 20 years the heart and soul of a large part of the hobby, is gone. Look at that list above: gone, ((Well, Cal White hardly is completely out of here (see the game below), but John and Kathy show no interest in coming back. A lot of us are in that baseball league that John runs which keeps us in touch. Francine says hi, by the way. She says she hasn't seen you for ten years or so (since she wasn't living with John and Kathy for awhile there). There are eight grandchildren now (Francine has two of them) and she wants to get married first this time, before having another. Keeping up with the Caruso's is an adventure.)) as are Robert Sacks, Brady Richter, Mark Larzelere, Ed Wrobel, and most of the stray sorts as well. I, and Paul Kenny, are the only people left from its glory days more than peripherally involved in the hobby (Mike Barno's still around a little bit; Jack barely). ((If Jack has any brains, he'll marry Maria (who seems just right for him) and then maybe he'll come back a little bit. I talk to Maria much more than I talk to Jack....)) If a hobby is a social pursuit in the sense that you partake of it to do something with other people - which it is for me, for I have met many of my best friends through Dip even if they have left Dipdom) - what do you do when those other people leave? Suddenly there's no one to talk hobby stuff with, no one to go to Cons with, no one to come to your housecons. VERTIGO GAMES has survived due to fanatic loyalty from the Courtemanches, Jack, Tommy Swider, Donna Higgins, and Paul and Sandy. But I'd love to see new people. It's been a long while since we have done so.

Frankly without the FTF side of things I don't enjoy the whole operation as much as I used to. Rail games and Magic may have killed off the old FTF circuit altogether. Until you printed Buz's note in #189 I had heard not a word about DipCon. ((See Eric's bigger notice in this issue.)) I mourn with a passion the death of ATLANTICON, one of the great weekends of the year every year. AVALONCON with its ultra-fanatic crowd and hostile-to-fun administration is no replacement. And since the Magic people took over ORIGINS they have gutted the board games. There's still GENCON, which can be a fun place to play games, but that Con has never been about board games, primarily. Dixiecon and fun don't go together in the same sentence. ((You old Yankee, you....))

What I really miss is the housecon circuit. Used to be you could spend your summer traveling about to hobbyists' homes for informal gaming, drinking, socializing and fun. The legendary PUDGECON, POOLCON, MADCON, whatever Gaughan called his, PEERICON, BYRNECON(s), VERTIGO GAMES, CLONECON, BRUXCON, Bill Becker's K-CONs in Michigan, the Corbins' gatherings in Oregon, Eric Ozog's in Washington state, and, while not `cons', perennial large get-togethers for FTF Dip/gaming in Milwaukee, Chicago, Washington, New York, and Baltimore. You could meet people of all kinds, play whatever, eat, party, relax and frolic. These, I thought, were in many ways the heart and soul of the hobby. ((Well, part of it is that the crowd has gotten older and has not been well replaced. The younger Dippers are playing only E-Mail and don't seem as likely to attend cons. You are one of the few left who doesn't have family commitments eating into the ability to run around to these cons. I don't have much family, but running this szine the way I do takes lots of time and energy, plus I have lots of weekend commitments to other things. We've had this discussion before, but I still think there is hope and fun to be had. Sitting and whining about the loss of the Good Old Days won't cut it.))

Now, what's left? VERTIGO GAMES due to my sheer persistence; SHORECON (my other houseparty) will be back next year (I couldn't take a week off six weeks into a new job). That's it, I think. Did I miss any? (if so let me know about them ASAP so I can attend!) ((You never came to any of our Diplomatic Incidents up in Boston the last few years. I know, you've been busy, but you'll make the next one, won't you??))

I blame David Hood and his TurboFreak associates for this (and much else). Hood would always say, ``Well, housecons are nice, but to really promote Dip we need more Dixiecon-type cons." I completely disagreed then and I do so now. Seems to me the hobby was healthier in the housecons era too. ((Though I agree, there wasn't an era where one or the other really dominated. There are fewer of both kinds of Cons now, as you already mentioned.))

Ah, enough memory-lane stuff. All I can do is hold my cons, try and enjoy myself and hope people show up. Like, for example, you, Jim-Bob, surely the most prominent hobbyist on the East Coast never to make a VERTIGO GAMES. Labor Day this year, as usual, in Paoli and (maybe) Easton. More info: write or call me. ((You'll send it here so I can publish it, right?? As I think you know, the Labor Day timing has never really made it for me. For seven years, it was just as school was starting and the last three years I've been running a conference in Washington the week of Labor Day. As you recall, I don't tend to sleep much at Cons and thought I couldn't do without crash time afterwards. Plus my family always does something then that they try to get me to. While I don't always join them, I find it difficult to go off to your Con while not joining them. My brother David is a spy here, so they would know.... still, I will give serious consideration to it this year. Perhaps I'll come down by train and then just head into DC on Monday night and the conference doesn't start until 1:00PM on Tuesday. Will Jack come and bring Maria?? She sounds like fun!!))

Hmmm, methinks Mr. Emmert and I wouldn't enjoy swapping record collections. I heard a song from Metheny's Quartet on the radio and I thought it was the best thing of his I'd heard in years, and I intend to buy it. My favorite Metheny record is ``Song X'', the one he made with Ornette Coleman. I adore Sibelius (esp. Symphony No. 4) and could live without Grieg. And if you, Steve, think Britten is atonal, I have some people for you to meet, such as Herr Webern, Professor Babbitt, Signor Berio, and Monsieur Boulez. The Turn of the Screw isn't all that terribly advanced for Britten, not nearly as much so as Nocturne for solo guitar or the final String Quartet. However, there's nothing advanced about Britten's Peter Grimes, the greatest 20th-century opera. Give that a listen, Steve!

On my game openings/number of games: well, you are right; there are/were too many. However, this was not intentional. I honestly thought some would have ended circa 1994, and I took some orphans to be nice to Alan Levin, a friend of mine. ((Yeah, I have learned to remember that the opera ain't over 'til the fat lady sings on that issue.)) Note that many of these games are just about over; I expect four or five will he done by Labor Day. ((See above...)) Now, though, I bet too many games would be a problem more zines in the hobby would like to have!

I am hardly surprised that Edi Birsan and Tom Kobrin did well at World DipCon. I played wargames with Tom at UNC in 1996; he's a hell of a player and I helped get him involved in Dipdom. Birsan is a fine player, if (on my experience) a arrogant, holier-than-thou twit. World DipCon's scoring system sounds worthless. ((That's basically what I thought.)) It sounds the organizers had little experience with FTF Dip. Posting scores is like painting targets on people. ((Though if the scoring system is known and too straightforward people can figure it out anyway.)) This is not wise, people. But anybody with five minutes of GMing experience knows that. Year-to-play-to limits lead to people doing things that they would not have done - silly, unrealistic dotgrabbing, sheer stalling, not doing something, like switching sides, that makes long-term sense but there's no long-term to worry about - just to increase scores. ((I was really struck by that at the World Dip Con I attended with the time limit. At least at Manorcon, they put in some randomness and don't tell you from the beginning when it will end. I forget just how they did it, I think they announce ``last game year'' just at the beginning of that year, so there's only one year of that stuff. Still, I was struck by how all the years of negotiating went out the window, and even as great a player as Steve Cox turned into a dirty little one dot grabber.))

I firmly believe scoring systems should either be secret or so arcane (like Sacks') that people just play Dip, not Dip-scoring-system. As Sachs always said: ``Don't worry about the scoring system: if you do well in your game you will do well in the tournament." And to this day I have not played in better Dip tourneys than the ones Sacks (with help from Boardman, McHugh, Mainardi, and others) ran circa 1972-1994. ((Yup, I've heard that from lots of people and give Rob't his due on that point whenever I'm given the opportunity, even though I never played in one of his tournaments.))

However, the targeting of leaders is always going to happen to some extent. It's obvious that if you get a win or a two-way in the first or second round, you are leading (at least in any scoring system that makes sense you are). Since word travels quickly about who won and got two-ways, well, those that did had best have their wits about them. This never stopped people such as Jim Yerkey from winning; Yerkey was and is a great player. My advice: stop whining and play Dip! Are you playing for fun or a worthless trophy and/or meaningless title (well, since the Triumph of the TurboPhreaks I guess everyone is playing for the latter, but..)?

Music '96: as my interests have become more classical-oriented I have not followed the pop-rock scene as much as usual. However, here's 10 CD/tapes from 1996 that I enjoyed immensely and recommend:

1) Patti Smith, GONE AGAIN. Patti was a heroine of mine in high school and this disc, while not quite EASTER or HORSES, is darn good.

2) Pansy Division, WISH I'D TAKEN PICTURES. More poignant, funny gay pop-punk.

3) Son Seals, LIVE: SPONTANEOUS COMBUSTION. The top Chicago blues guitarist caught at his sizzling best. Tremendous sound.

4) Johnny Cash, UNCHAINED. With help from Tom Petty this American icon creates roots music that has the true flavor of America. No faux posturing here!

5) Beck, ODELAY. Wow. Hard to imagine more original, more witty, or more danceable music. Essential; the CD of the year.

6) Fred Anderson Quartet, BIRDHOUSE. Free jazz with a heart. This one's intensity is hard to top. Anderson's tenor sax could tear your head off.

7) Ornette Coleman, SOUND MUSEUM (two CDs). Masterful, far-reaching, free/harmolodic jazz from a giant of music. Not as gimmicky as TONE DIALING, his previous record, say. Acoustic music that believes jazz didn't freeze in 1967.

8) George Clinton, T.A.P., etc. Hey, why bother with anybody else's funk when the master has a record out?

9) They Might Be Giants, FACTORY SHOWROOM. It grows on you. ``I Can Hear You" is brilliant and ``James K. Polk" a bolt from the blue.

10) The Group for Contemporary Music: SOLI ET DUETINI: THE MUSIC OF MILTON BABBITT. Probably there are four people in America who liked this thorny, atonal, serious, witty, demanding stuff. One solo is for snare drum! Still, more original and brilliant than almost anything else out there. ((I like your comments because they always stretch me just a little further than I might have gone otherwise.))

I was talking about Hobby Memory Lane a while back and then I read about ELP and Tull in #189 and I think I am in Music Memory Lane. Tull, to my mind, was washed up in 1974 and ELP, while I enjoyed a lot of their stuff, also has a lot to answer for for its part in creating the fetid swamp that was 1970's rock. ((You'll get no argument from me on that score. I'm 39, almost 40, a little older than you are, I believe, and what I still can get nostalgic about was where some of this music began, which is certainly prior to 1974. That's why I was so careful to be talking about the Nice, who I really do like.)) I agree with you about the dated comment EXCEPT I hope you are NOT including King Crimson in that; Fripp/Belew/Levin/Bruford sound as fresh as ever, and their three early 1980's records DISCIPLINE, BEAT, THREE OF A PERFECT PAIR - are what prog-rock should have been instead of overblown Yes, turgid ELP and anything Rick Wakeman was involved in. ((Yeah, but I did kinda like Wakeman too for awhile there. A Yes concert was the first concert I ever attended. But that's just kiddie nostalgia. And it's why I was talking about songs like ``Flower King of Flies''. I still really like some of this music even today. You probably have never heard some of the roots music that spawned prog. rock. Once punk hit, some of the retrenching (especially that Belew guitar work with King Crimson, Levin's silky bass lines, Bruford's.... yeah, those three records really are that good!) was inevitable, but of course, once the bombast quotient began to rise, it was destined to keep rising until it became a caricature of itself. And for the most part, it imploded. Perhaps we could poll people for their choice for the most overblown, unlistenable, bombastic prog. rock album of the 1970's or if you include. album sides, the Greg Lake side of Works, Vol. 1 is right up there as my choice.))

That whole era - I was in high school then - in the late 1970's was awful musically; I used to listen to AOR-rock radio and live for Steely Dan, Bruce, and the Stones only to have to wade through oceans of Yes, Asia, ELP, Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, and all of that pompous puffery (that said I like some Floyd, although Dick Martin's comment re Floyd, `music to slit your wrists by', is true). ((But what of Joy Division?? You remember the days when this szine was full of cheap Ian Curtis digs??)) I thanked God then and still do thank God for the Pretenders, Elvis Costello, the Sex Pistols, Blondie, the Ramones, the Dixie Dregs, George Thorogood, Johnny Thunders, David Johansen, Prince, and all the others who freed us from prog-rock! ((Hey, I was there and saluted it right along with you, as I'm sure you recall. I took over this music commentary duty for the hobby from Scott Hanson right in the middle of all of that. Remember the five page party tape descriptions??))

Enough! My God, three pages.

PLAYLIST: Bernstein/NYPO: Mendelssohn, SYMPHONY No. 3; SYMPHONY No. 5; RUY BLAS overture (Lenny seemed less interested here than usual, but still solidly done); Solti/CSO: Bartok, CONCERTO FOR ORCHESTRA (1981 version; fine, fine all around. Gutsy playing and splashy conducting.) Kurt Sanderling/Berlin Symphony: Shostakovich, SYMPHONY No. 8 (for my money this is the best of these (yes, better than Solti, Previn, Jarvi, or Slatkin) out there with maybe the exception of Mravinsky. Sanderling's interpretation is grim and unsettling and the orchestra has to really push itself, resulting in a memorable CD and a mid-price to boot!)

This is the longest Dip letter for me since one to Pete Gaughan Feb. 22, 1994! ((Has it REALLY been that long? And even longer since I've printed one of these??))

``And now," cried Max, ``let the wild rumpus start!"

If you want to submit orders, press, or letters by E-Mail, you can find me through the Internet system at ``burgess of world.std.com''. If anyone has an interest in having an E-Mail address listed so people can negotiate with you by computer, just let me know.

Standby lists: Mike Barno, John Breakwell, Dick Martin, Brad Wilson, Jack McHugh, Glenn Petroski, Steve Emmert, Mark Kinney, Vince Lutterbie, Doug Kent, Paul Rauterberg, Doug Essinger-Hileman, Phil Reynolds, Dave Partridge, Andy York, Michael Pustilnik, and John Schultz stand by for regular Diplomacy. Mike Barno stands by for the new Colonial Diplomacy game which hasn't started yet. Let me know if you want on or off the list. Standbies get the szine for free and receive my personal thanks. I'd really appreciate it if anyone wanted to be added to the list.

The Colonial Diplomacy game opening is now active! I realize that it has been awhile, so I'm not even sure if you're all still interested. Please send me the $15 game fees now. $10 gives you a life of the game sub, a bargain at twice the price and it holds EVEN after you are eliminated. The other $5 is for the NMR insurance calls, so please send along your phone number as well. Roland Sasseville ($15), Don Williams ($15), Rick Desper ($10 - E-Mail NMR insurance), Terry Tallman, Luke Dwyer ($15), and Jonas Johnson ($15) have expressed interest in the Colonial opening. I have a request to call the game ``Show Me the Money'' and so I shall, and so you must do! I have money from the five people above and a request for a random draw. So it shall be. Some others have expressed interest recently. I will take the first seven people who get money to me. I really only need one more as Terry is my publishing mentor and cannot be denied a place by me. Come on, who wants to play?

Conrad von Metzke currently is GMing a black hole game where you can freely jump over black holes instead of having them render spaces impassible. I am playing in this game and like the tactics of jumping over the black holes a great deal. David Partridge looks like he is going to sweep past me to victory in that game. Now there the black holes are random, but what would happen if you could plan them? The next NYEED game will feature this rule change but will not start until the 7x7 tourney is over. That next NYEED game also will be a 7x7 tourney format unless I am convinced otherwise. It is time to at least begin trolling for interest in this game, even though it won't start for some time. Reserve your place now, you get a life of game sub, and the game itself is FREE!! Otherwise Conrad is now the new editor and publisher of Pontevedria, the game openings listing, if you're interested in other game openings. Send Conrad a SASE for the latest issue to: Conrad von Metzke, 4374 Donald Avenue, San Diego, CA 92117.

THE DUE DATE FOR SPRING 1905 IS JUNE 21ST, 1997

THE DUE DATE FOR SUMMER 1905 IS JULY 12TH, 1997

Pre-Spring 1905 - Game delayed waiting for more orders

AUSTRIA (Schultz): has f TRI, a BUD, a VIE; and 5 nukes.

ENGLAND (Barno): has f LON, f EDI, a LVP; and 5 nukes.

FRANCE (Dwyer): has f BRE, a MAR, a PAR; and 5 nukes.

GERMANY (Lancaster): has f KIE, a BER, a MUN; and 5 nukes.

ITALY (Andruschak): has f NAP, a VEN, a ROM; and 5 nukes.

RUSSIA (R. Ellis): has f STP(SC), a WAR, a MOS, f SEV; and 4 nukes.

TURKEY (J. Ellis): has f ANK, a CON, a SMY; and 5 nukes.

Addresses of the Participants Harry Andruschak, PO Box 5309, Torrance, CA 90510-5309 Randy Ellis, General Delivery, Grant Village, Yellowstone Natl. Park, WY 82190

Jeff Ellis, 2120 Ramrod, #1517, Henderson, NV 89014, (702) 450-6361

John Schultz, #19390, F-E88, Indiana State Prison, PO Box 41, Michigan City, IN 46361-0041.

Mike Barno, PO Box 509, Gardiner, MT 59030, (406) 848-2149

Luke Dwyer, 49 Middlesex Drive, Slingerlands, NY 12159

Stuart Lancaster, 4127 SW Webster, Seattle, WA 98136

GM: VAPORIZED AGAIN!! Was at 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327

01

02

03

04

05

06

07

TOTAL

HARRY ANDRUSCHAK

4

4

5

0

13

RANDY ELLIS

2

2

1

0

5

JEFF ELLIS

1

4

3

1

9

JOHN SCHULTZ

3

1

5

4

13

MIKE BARNO

0

4

1

5

10

LUKE DWYER

5

0

5

3

13

STUART LANCASTER

4

3

4

5

16

Black Holed

15

15

8

14

52

Neutral

0

1

2

2

5

Total

34

34

34

34

136

Times GM Nuked

1

5

2

3

11

Lee Kendter, Jr.

0

1

0

0

1

Clinton/Dole

0

1

0

0

1

Garret Schenck

0

0

1

0

1

Switzerland

0

0

1

0

1

Ireland

0

0

1

0

1

Nukes Withheld

4

0

5

4

13

Game Notes (firmly orbiting in the tropopause):

1) Thanks to Lee Kendter, Jr. for the Round #5 Miller Number. The HRC game name will apply to the entire game. I still refuse to recognize the relevance of round by round winners.

2) I was missing three sets of orders for this game. Come on, guys, your juices should be flowing MORE strongly, not less, as the game lurches toward conclusion. I think the game with the other rules will be a lot more fun, but we must complete this one first.

Press:

(ANDRUSCHAK-PLAYERS): Slight change of mind, and as Italy next year I will be nuking SWEDEN in place of Rumania. And Russia's four home SCs, of course. The main reason is that Austria and/or Turkey may want to try and grab Rumania from Russia, and I wish them well.

(DEADHEAD to CLASSICISTS): ``Arctic, wintry'' compositions? The beat is kept by chattering teeth, with shivering on the backbeat. The melodic motif features an engine grinding once, failing to start, and giving up. Dramatic breaks between movements are highlighted by the sound of a vehicle skidding on ice, seguing into metal-to-metal impact noises.

(ANDRUSCHAK-WORLD): Since the subject of obscure Scandinavian composers has come up, how many have heard of Wilhelm Stenhammar (1871-1927)? Not me, until 11 April, when I heard his 5th string quartet played live at the South Bay Chamber Music Society concert. It was announced as being sort of ``neo-Beethovenish'' but I heard mostly ``neo-Mendelssohnish''. Quite a well crafted piece, and I wonder if any of his works have been recorded? ((I'm not familiar with him, but he sounds like one of those class of early 20th Century Scandinavian composers that were retro from the birth of the atonal movements that Brad talks about above. String Quartets and recordings of them are like weeds. I'm sure someone has recorded them. This is NOT my cup of tea, most of the time.))

(THE ``MANIFEST HUBRIS'' THEORY): Jim didn't have to make enough difficult predictions to build up mental toughness. Thus he blustered with neither accuracy nor restraint concerning women's hoops. ((Such blustering comes naturally to me as a Dip player. I don't bet on games, so predictions are done for fun, to take a rooting fannish position. I firmly believe FIAWOL, which of course stands for ``Fandom Is A Way Of Life''. Go ahead, have at me!!))

(BARNO to McBRUCE): Glad to see you're still alive!

(POPE-TSAR): ``For what you are about to receive, may the Lord make you truly thankful.'' ((Are you sure that wasn't meant for me???))

(THIS IS JIM-BOB'S PENALTY FOR ``UConn will still win it all. Count on it, Mykey!''): My editor when I was a Speedway Scene columnist, Bones Bourcier, has had articles on NASCAR racing in the last two issues of Penthouse. Nothing terribly new or in-depth, just good introductory stuff: an interview of seven-time champion Dale Earnhardt (similar to the piece Bones wrote for his previous home, Stock Car Racing magazine), and a general look at NASCAR's boom in popularity. His journalism for SS and SCR was excellent. This is somewhere within www.penthousemag.com, I assume.

(ANDRUSCHAK-FRIENDS): My brother is recovering well from his recent heart attack, thank you, and hopes to return to work soon....

(MIKE to RANDY): What, no comments similar to the ``sappy bullshit'' evaluation that you gave those song lyrics a couple of years ago when I wrote them?

(BOOB to MIKE): Nothing from Randy at all, what did you do to him? Set a trap for him over there in Grant Village??

(ANDRUSCHAK-ENEMIES): ...but when my doctor heard about Brother's heart attack, she not only doubled my dosage of beta blockers (for high blood pressure) but started me on some cholesterol lowering drugs as well. I'm taking so many different pills I may need a computer program to keep track of them all.

(POOFREADER to EDITOR): Someone wrote ``exasperate the situation'' in issue 188, apparently intending ``exacerbate''. ((Got that distinction, Luke, just the kinda trick they try to play in those SAT's...)) Luke should note the word's root connection to ``acerbic acid'', an amino acid found in most mushrooms and needed for the body's synthesis of the enzyme tauroboliase.

(MIKE to JIM-BOB): You have good connections and information sources. Would you please dig out the truth about ``the Men in the Black Suits''? ((Huh???))

(MIKE to RANDY): A couple of tourons from Butte argued the night of April 27, resulting in the wife jumping off the Gardiner bridge and falling 80 feet into the Yellowstone River, while I was a hundred yards away in the Two Bit Saloon parking lot. Surprisingly, she survived.

(BOOB to RANDY): And that was my 11th wedding anniversary day too. I hope he isn't hinting anything... where are you, anyway??

(ANDRUSCHAK-ALL): There was a time when I was telling folks that it would be a cold day in hell before I ever again subscribed to KUSC-FM. I was especially disgusted at Jim Svedja mouthing those platitudes about ``the NEW sound of classical music!'' I regarded Jim Svedja as a turncoat traitor to the cause of classical music, a running dog lackey of Bonnie Grice.

Even when KUSC announced a return to the all classical music format, I refused to subscribe. For one thing, there was more than enough non-classical music junk remaining, especially on Saturday evenings. Still is. For another, was the change for real? Had the tiger really changed its stripes? Or was this a ploy to get money before returning to the crap format? I still remember sending money when KFAC-FM was bought out, and KUSC promised nothing but classical music, then finked out.

Well, Jim Svedja provided the cold day in hell. Well, maybe not that cold, and more the Finnish Underworld than the Christian Hell. KUSC was having yet another fund drive, trying to lure suckers like me to subscribe. Jim played ``Swan of Tuonela'' with Mitch Miller on the English Horn, and offered the CD as a bonus to those who subscribed.

What Mitch Miller CD, you may ask? It seems this is a private pressing from Mitch himself, not available to the general public. It contains several performances of Mitch on oboe and english horn. OK, these were mono recordings from before 1950, the fidelity was so-so, and there was some hiss. I scrambled to the phone and called in to subscribe. The performance was THAT good. ((I know, but boy do they have your number. I'm continually struck as you play out this continuing story how the market researchers have targeted you as a portion of the audience at every stage as (to put a name on it) the ``serious listener''. They don't really care about you and what you like, but they do care about keeping your money, while trying for ratings by going after entirely different audiences that will never care enough one way or the other to subscribe. Man, this non-commercial radio is damned commercial. You don't think that approaching Mitch about doing this private pressing was not TOTALLY designed to grab you? Producing CD's is so cheap, and they didn't even bother spending the money taking out the surface noise and hiss, that it cost them very little. Mitch probably ``donated'' the recordings as well. For the length of the fund drive they wanted to convince you Serious Listeners to subscribe (no matter how angry you were at them before) and then plan to change the format in time for the next listener survey period so they can attract the other listeners back who wouldn't know the difference between an oboe and an english horn anyway. I await the next letter, when you will be properly irate again.))

The oboe has often been insulted as ``the ill wind that nobody blows good'' but that is not the case when Mitch plays his way through oboe concertos of Vaughan-Williams, Cimarosa, Mozart, and Bach. This CD will end up as my most valued new CD acquired in the year 1997. And I am now OFFICIALLY a KUSC Subscriber, proud supporter of a mostly classical music station. ((Try to use that clout when they try to screw you over again. I'll just be interested to see what happens. Keep us informed. I'm enjoying it, even if you aren't (at least half the time).))

THE DUE DATE FOR SPRING 1906 IS JUNE 21ST, 1997

Winter 1905

AUSTRIA (Ellis): NMR; R a bul otb; GM rem a nap, f apu; ANDY YORK CALLED AS STANDBY;

has f GRE, a TYO, a TRI, a BOH, a BUD, a VEN, f ION.

ENGLAND (Pollard): rem a cly; has f TUN.

FRANCE (Dwyer): bld a par; has a PAR, f WES, f MID, f LON, a LVP, f EDI,

a BUR, a MAR.

GERMANY (Emmert): rem a hol; has f HEL, a GAL.

RUSSIA (Sherwood): bld a stp, a war, a mos, f sev; has a STP, a WAR, a MOS, f SEV

a RUM, a VIE, f BAL, a MUN, a UKR, f NWY, f AEG, a DEN, f KIE, a BUL, a BER, f EAS.

Addresses of the Participants

AUSTRIA: Randy Ellis, General Delivery, Grant Village, Yellowstone Natl. Park, WY 82190 ($5)

AUSTRIA: Standby is Andy York, PO Box 2307, Universal City, TX 78148-1307, (210) 658-6066

ENGLAND: Kent Pollard, Box 491, Mammoth Hot Springs, Yellowstone National Park, WY 82190, ($5)

FRANCE: Luke Dwyer, 49 Middlesex Drive, Slingerlands, NY 12159, (518) 439-5796 ($4)

GERMANY: Steve Emmert, 1752 Grey Friars Chase, Virginia Beach, VA 23456, (757) 471-1842

SEMMERT of city.virginia-beach.va.us ITALY: Mark Kinney, 3613 Coronado Drive, Louisville, KY 40241, (502) 426-8165

alberich of iglou.com

RUSSIA: Keith Sherwood, 8873 Pipestone Way, San Diego, CA 92129, (619) 484-8367 ($5)

ksher of cts.com or Keith_Sherwood of Intuit.com TURKEY: Roland Sasseville, Jr., 38 Bucklin Street, Pawtucket, RI 02861, (401) 722-4029 ($3) GM: Jim-Bob Burgess, 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327, (401) 351-0287

Game Notes:

1) The concession to Russia fails. How about an RF? It fails. An AF?? It fails too. An ARE??? It also fails. The AGE draw is the new proposal. Votes are due with Spring orders. Anyone who fails to vote ages ten years!

2) I'm calling Andy York as the standby, but I expect Randy will be back. I think we just got caught up in his move. But if he doesn't, remember that in my szine you can make your orders conditional on who is playing the Austrian position for the Spring moves.

Press:

(MIKE to KENT): Delighted to see that you'll survive this game. Fourth or fifth place in your first postal game isn't too bad; certainly not as humiliating as the Steve Emmert Baby Picture Fiasco, for instance.

(AMBASSADOR POLLARD to THE EMPIRE OF FRANCE): I have a feeling that your hesitation towards the Empire of Russia goes much deeper than you would like to admit. The Empire of the Bear will win this War unless you commit immediately! You have already stated how you feel about honor. I believe you may have joined with those conquering hordes and perhaps you think you can join in the eventual glory! That is why I propose that French Forces jump in immediately and try to stop Russian aggression before it is too late! (Your non-committedness may have lost us the War already!) Your actions will tell us the fate of Europe shortly...

(MIKE to RANDY): Do you like getting all the way Dead?

(GERMANY to FRANCE): That bounce in Belgium was a wake-up call. You CANNOT delay in going after Russia, or there is absolutely no hope that this game will continue long enough for you to do so sometime next year. As you can see from my disband, I still invite you to grow at my expense, but I'm not lying down to die just so Sherwood can walk to a win. Are you with us, or are you still playing by your own agenda?

(BARNO to SHERWOOD): Sorry, I thought Randy was warmed up enough to give you a good game instead of being just so much cake on a platter.

(FRANCE to RUSSIA): I'm voting for the RF proposal. Together we shall win.

(MIKE from this DANK WELSH DUNGEON to RANDY): Ha, ha, ha, ha ha ha, ha hee ha ha, etc.

(CALHAMER-SKYWALKER): You are correct, Pollard cannot win this game by 06. If he doubles his centers every year from here on out, he'll win in 5 years. Of course, he'll need units, which means he'll need home supply centers, of which he has naught. So winning will take him 18 years. In either case, your grasp of the rules is impressive, if not the players' names.

(SOFTWARE ENGINEER to LAWYER): Remember the first rule of Diplomacy: strike for position in the spring, centers in the fall. Your move to Gal was brilliant, but mistimed. Someday, when you learn these simple lessons, you can aspire to the level of play demonstrated here by our strong second finisher.

(FRANCE-GERMANY): It makes it all easier for Russia to win when you tell me one thing, and then do another. You treat it as if it is my fault Russia is doing well. I didn't let Russia stab me take four of my supply centers. Nor have I had any opportunities to stymie Russia's efforts. I have been busy fighting off the fools who stabbed me.

(RUSSIA to GM): Shouldn't I get three builds for Munich? After all, according to last issue's map, Munich had three supply centers.

(GM to RUSSIA): Yeah, that would have been cool, but where would you have put the units? I haven't seen too many people building four units in a season. Obviously, only you have the kahunas to do it. As for the ``extra supply centers'', I thought ``fer shure'' that Randy had dislodged you; lucky for you, I caught the error without having Allan Calhamer have to explain the rules to me.

(KEITH-MIKE): Geez, Mike, even I don't remember what I got on the SAT's; how can you remember what I got? That brings us to an interesting question, one that perhaps we can belabor for the remainder of the game: what classes that you took in high school were most worthwhile/do you still use today. A sobering thought, and one in which (if we don't pontificate too strongly) Luke may take heart. I'll start:

(KEITH): I took Advanced Placement (college prepatory) English, Physics, History, and Math (calculus). History and Math have pretty much atrophied. Physics is still good for parlor tricks and Jeopardy questions, although that may be some college physics mixed in. The English classes, mostly literature (but with vocab mixed in to help with the SATs), are a joy that stay with me to this day. Being well-read in the classics turns out to be more important in my everyday life than finding the volume of a function spun about an arbitrary axis. The only class more valuable that I took in high school was typing. I had an extra semester, and it came down between typing and auto shop. Both were skills I could use the rest of my life. I opted for typing because it was something I could use right away at college. Now I type everyday for a living. The English classes, by the way, have nothing to do with the way I make my living: they just make my life fuller, and I like using vocab like ``plethora," ``dearth," and ``raison d'etre" in my technical documents, even if nobody else knows what I mean!

(BOOB): I'll go next, I liked my English classes too; for basically the same reason. If I could write better, I would have become an English professor. I love studying poetry, but I can't memorize it worth a damn; probably related to the reason I can't write well enough. Also the ``Social Studies'' classes, especially the year we focused on Europe ;-) and the one on US government. I don't really remember much science, and while I use lots of mathematics in my work, I remember very little geometry or trigonometry. Of course, the most important thing I learned in high school was computer programming on old IBM 1620's, early Wang's, and Prime minicomputers (which were ``huge'' in present day terms). I also used the early precursors of the Internet in the early 1970's to bop around to other computers. I don't remember exactly what I got on the SAT's: something in the 700's math and in the 600's verbal is about all I recall.

(LUKE-MIKE AND ANYONE WHO CARES): I got a 650 math and a 590 verbal. It's not bad, but I wanted over a 1300. Therefore, I am taking them again in the fall. ((Stick with us, kid, and these seeds shall fructify in the fall. See Keith's ``words'' above and add this one: fructify - ``To bear fruit or make fruitful or productive'', the usual context of the word is in a literary sense, as your goal to increase your verbal score indicates.)) (RUSSIA to GERMANY(STRIKETHRU) LOWLANDS+GALICIA): Your pathetic offer to remove A Gal if only I don't eliminate you and help you survive against France is flatly and forthrightly rejected: do your worst! Have a little backbone, man.

THE DUE DATE FOR WINTER 1906 IS JUNE 21ST, 1997

THE DUE DATE FOR SPRING 1907 IS JULY 12TH, 1997

Fall 1906

AUSTRIA (Tallman): a bud h (d r:rum,otb).

ENGLAND (Lowrey): f NAO-nwg, f NTH S f swe-nth (imp), f SWE-nwy, a EDI h.

FRANCE (Rauterberg): a ven-rom (d r:tyo,pie,otb), a gas-SPA, a pie-TUS,

f TYH S TURKISH f ion-nap (nso), a tun h (d r:naf,otb).

GERMANY (Kent): a PRU S a war, a SIL S a boh-gal, a WAR S a boh-gal, f hel-DEN,

a boh-GAL, a den-KIE.

ITALY (Billenness): f NAP-tyh, f APU S a rom-ven, f WES S TURKISH f ion-tun, a rom-VEN.

RUSSIA (Williams): a LVN S a ukr-mos, f NWG S ENGLISH a edi-cly (nso),

f NWY S f nwg, a gal-UKR, a ukr-MOS, f BAR S f nwy, a VIE-gal. TURKEY (Sherwood): a con-BUL, f AEG S f gre-ion, f gre-ION, a ser-BUD, f ion-TUN,

a TRI S a ser-bud, f ADR S ITALIAN a rom-ven.

Supply Center Chart

AUSTRIA (Tallman):

rum?

(has 0 or 1, out or even(r:rum))

ENGLAND (Lowrey):

edi,lvp,lon,swe

(has 4, even)

FRANCE (Rauterberg):

bre,par,mar,spa,por

(has 3 or 4 or 5, bld for any r:otb)

GERMANY (Kent):

mun,kie,ber,den,hol,bel,war

(has 6, bld 1)

ITALY (Billenness):

rom,nap,ven

(has 4, rem 1)

RUSSIA (Williams):

mos,stp,rum?,nwy,vie,sev

(has 7, rem 1 or rem 2(A r:rum))

TURKEY (Sherwood):

ank,con,smy,gre,bul,tri,ser,

(has 7, bld 2)

bud,tun

Neutral:

none

(Total=34)

Addresses of the Participants

AUSTRIA: Terry Tallman, 3805 SW Lake Flora Road, Port Orchard, WA 98367, (360) 874-0386 ($8)

ttallman of linknet.kitsap.lib.wa.us

ENGLAND: Michael Lowrey, 6503-D Fourwinds Drive, Charlotte, NC 28212, (704) 563-9226

mlowrey of charlotte.infi.net

ENGLAND EMERITUS: Tom Nash, 202 Settlers Road, St. Simons Island, GA 31522, (912) 634-1753 ($4)

75763.707 of CompuServe.COM

FRANCE: Paul Rauterberg, 3116 W. American Dr., Greenfield, WI 53221, (414) 281-2339 ($10)

Pprosit of execpc.com

GERMANY: Doug Kent, 10214 Black Hickory Rd., Dallas, TX 75243 (214) 234-8386 ($5)

73567.1414 of CompuServe.COM ITALY: Simon Billenness, 452 Park Drive, Apt. 7, Boston, MA 02215, (617) 423-6655 ($5)

sbillenness of frdc.com RUSSIA: Don Williams, 27505 Artine Drive, Saugus, CA 91350, (805) 297-3947

dwilliams of csiway.com

RUSSIA EMERITUS: Ken Peel, 12041 Eaglewood Court, Silver Spring, MD 20902, (301) 949-4055 ($5)

KEN_PEEL of hagel.senate.gov

TURKEY: Keith Sherwood, 8873 Pipestone Way, San Diego, CA 92129, (619) 484-8367

ksher of cts.com or Keith_Sherwood of Intuit.com

TURKEY EMERITUS: Pete Gaughan, 1236 Detroit Av. #7, Concord, CA 94520-3651, (510) 825-2165 ($4)

gaughan of ix.netcom.com

GM: Jim-Bob Burgess, 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327, (401) 351-0287

Game Notes (back from the tropopause): 1) The game specific standby list for this game includes Garret Schenck, Cathy Cunning Ozog, Dick Martin, and Vince Lutterbie in reverse alphabetical order (note that Garret is presently missing, so I am running low on standbys here...). Someone find Mike Mills!! Guest press from potential standbys would be a ``good thing'' if they wanted to be chosen.

2) Note that Simon has changed his E-Mail address.

3) It is proposed that anyone failing to submit press for two consecutive turns be dropped from the game. Vote on this with your Winter orders. For this one alone, NVR counts as a YES!!!!

Press:

(ZAPPA): The poodle bites... The poodle chews it... C'mon frenchie!

(TURKEY-FRANCE): Paul, Paul, Paul. It's so unlike you to mistime a stab so. Why prick your victim in the spring instead of maiming in the fall? Alas, strike too soon in the spring, and your supposed victim can lash back in the fall. ((Methinks, you were gloating for some reason...))

(LEXICO-MANCER to LEXICOGRAPHER): I assume you meant ``pass by acclimation''; acclimation is when the coyotes get so used to people-food that they stop a car and come to the window looking for handouts.

(KEITH to TERRY): I'm only allying with the Good Italians to further annoy you, surely a worthy goal!

(MIKE to JIM-BOB): Are you ready for an article on ``Why I am a Rational Thinker Instead of Relying on Eons-Old Hebrew Superstition and Misogyny''? ``Why I Determine My Own Values Instead of Subserviating Myself to a Temporal Hierarchy which has Violated Every Tenet of that Nazarean Carpenter''? Relax, I'm not writing it. Unlike many past and present exponents of Christian doctrine, I don't insist that any beliefs not mine are evil or wrong. (This item appears in this game in hopes of setting Terry off, forcing you to publish a vast eruption of chaos. Eris Symbolizes the Prevailing Paradigm! [``Eris Rules!'' would have been oxymoronic.])

(TERMINEX TURKEY): We tried to exterminate the rodent-like sex ghod from Trieste, but a new group of them sprung up in Budapest. If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.... ((Now, do they go to Rumania and survive, or slink off the board? Stay tuned and see.))

(more MIKE to JIM-BOB): Don't get me wrong; my views on interpersonal relations tend to agree with Jesus' (though not Yahweh's, Torquemada's, nor Ralph Reed's). Both objective (quantum physics) and subjective factors, though, lead me to a more nearly Taoist than Christian view of the universe. A mountaintop with trees growing out of cracks in a rock face makes a better temple for me than does a city building with a statue of someone being executed for challenging the powers-that-be. ((I don't necessarily disagree with that. Currently termed ``post-modern'' views of Christianity (which I have affinities for but don't completely embrace) are pretty close to that view. Those post-modern views are definitely influenced by Eastern philosophic ideas. They also make a big point of denouncing the rape, murder, and pillaging done in the name of Christianity, not by God, but by men - mostly.))

(BARBARIAN PRESS): The barbarian looks around the confines of his cell and notes the duck just beyond the bars. ``Well, are you going to be of use or what?" ``Well," muttered the duck, ``I would except for this honking big chain the Turkish Lap Poodle slipped around my ankle (sigh)." From the darkness in the far back of the cell a dulcet voice mutters, ``Can't a red haired barbarian warrior maid get some piece and quiet??!!" Both the Barbarian and Duck turned slowly. There before them reclined the form of Red Daphne...

(BARNO to TALLMAN): But nobody is following that story line.

(BOB OLSEN'S GHOST): Hmmm, too bad you couldn't get any press writers, Boob.

(BOOB to SLUDGE): Yeah, a cryin' shame.

(MICHALSKI'S GHOST): Or at least some gamers.

(BOOB to MOS EISLEY): Oh, we have some gamers here...

(RUSSIA): Russian army surrounded. Government surrendered. Help me, Obi Wan, you're my only hope.

(UNCLE BERNIE'S GHOST): Or some family members.

(BOOB to LUKE): Are you in this game too???

AUSTRIA: Josh Smith; ENGLAND: Nick Fitzpatrick; FRANCE: Jim Burgess; GERMANY: John Sloan; ITALY: Danny Loeb; RUSSIA: Rich Shipley; TURKEY: David Kovar.

GM: Mark Nelson, 1st Flr Frt Flat, 3 Kelso Road, Leeds, W. Riding LS2, UK; amt5man of amsta.leeds.ac.uk

I've begun my write-up on Ghods too, but you won't see it for a long time since it won't appear until 1997 KT ends. Anyone want to take odds on whether I will finish my article before Mark finishes his on 1994 KF? I'm still waiting to discover whether my key suppositions were correct that ultimately determined the outcome of the game.

AUSTRIA: Edi Birsan (edi of mgames.com);

ENGLAND: Jamie Dreier (James_Dreier of brown.edu);

FRANCE: John Barkdull (uejon of ttacs1.ttu.edu);

GERMANY: Pitt Crandlemire (pittc of syncon.com);

ITALY: Cal White (diplomat of idirect.com);

RUSSIA: Mark Fassio (jm2365 of exmail.usma.army.mil, fazfam of juno.com);

TURKEY: Hohn Cho (hohncho of kaiwan.com).

GM: Jim Burgess (burgess of world.std.com)

USIN judge: judge of kleiman.indianapolis.in.us

((The main point of this game is to take some successful E-Mail players, some successful FTF tournament players, and some successful PBM players, put them in a game together using the Judge E-Mail technology and see what happens. I will be reprinting all orders and selected broadcast press each issue. Other comments are welcome. If you want to observe the game, in real time, check out the USIN judge or watch the Web page for this game at http://kleiman.indianapolis.in.us/usin/ghodstoo.htm))

Austria: Army Budapest - > Trieste. (*bounce*)

Austria: Army Serbia SUPPORT Army Budapest - > Trieste.

Austria: Fleet Greece - > Albania.

Austria: Army Vienna SUPPORT Army Budapest - > Trieste. (*cut*)

Austria: Army Warsaw - > Galicia.

England: Fleet London - > English Channel.

England: Fleet North Sea SUPPORT Fleet London - > English Channel.

France: Army Gascony - > Marseilles.

France: Army Piedmont - > Tyrolia.

France: Fleet Liverpool - > Clyde.

France: Army Paris HOLD.

France: Fleet English Channel - > London. (*bounce, dislodged*)

France: Fleet Marseilles - > Gulf of Lyon.

Germany: Army Kiel - > Denmark.

Germany: Army Belgium HOLD.

Germany: Fleet Sweden - > Gulf of Bothnia.

Germany: Army Holland SUPPORT Army Belgium.

Germany: Army Munich - > Bohemia. (*bounce*)

Germany: Fleet Denmark - > Skagerrak.

Germany: Fleet Berlin - > Baltic Sea.

Italy: Army Venice SUPPORT Army Trieste.

Italy: Army Trieste SUPPORT French Army Piedmont - > Tyrolia. (*cut*)

Italy: Fleet Ionian Sea SUPPORT Turkish Fleet Aegean Sea - > Greece. (*cut*)

Italy: Fleet Adriatic Sea SUPPORT Fleet Ionian Sea.

Italy: Fleet Tyrrhenian Sea SUPPORT Fleet Ionian Sea.

Russia: Fleet Norway - > Sweden.

Russia: Army Bohemia - > Vienna. (*bounce*)

Russia: Army St Petersburg - > Livonia.

Turkey: Army Ukraine - > Moscow.

Turkey: Army Sevastopol SUPPORT Army Ukraine - > Moscow.

Turkey: Fleet Aegean Sea - > Greece.

Turkey: Fleet Rumania - > Black Sea.

Turkey: Fleet Eastern Mediterranean - > Ionian Sea. (*bounce*)

Turkey: Fleet Constantinople - > Aegean Sea.

The following units were dislodged:

The French Fleet in the English Channel can retreat to Mid-Atlantic Ocean or Irish Sea or Wales or Picardy or Brest.

France: Fleet English Channel - > Wales.

Austria: Army Budapest SUPPORT Army Vienna.

Austria: Army Serbia - > Trieste. (*bounce*)

Austria: Fleet Albania - > Adriatic Sea. (*bounce*)

Austria: Army Vienna SUPPORT Army Serbia - > Trieste. (*dislodged*)

Austria: Army Galicia - > Warsaw.

England: Fleet English Channel - > London. (*bounce*)

England: Fleet North Sea - > Norway. (*bounce*)

France: Army Marseilles HOLD.

France: Army Tyrolia SUPPORT Italian Army Trieste - > Vienna.

France: Fleet Clyde - > Edinburgh.

France: Army Paris - > Brest.

France: Fleet Wales - > London. (*bounce*)

France: Fleet Gulf of Lyon - > Tyrrhenian Sea.

Germany: Army Denmark SUPPORT Fleet Baltic Sea - > Sweden.

Germany: Army Belgium HOLD.

Germany: Fleet Gulf of Bothnia - > St Petersburg (south coast).

Germany: Army Holland SUPPORT Army Belgium.

Germany: Army Munich HOLD.

Germany: Fleet Skagerrak - > Norway. (*bounce*)

Germany: Fleet Baltic Sea - > Sweden.

Italy: Army Venice - > Trieste. (*bounce*)

Italy: Army Trieste - > Vienna.

Italy: Fleet Ionian Sea - > Albania. (*bounce, dislodged*)

Italy: Fleet Adriatic Sea SUPPORT Army Trieste - > Venice. (*void*)

Italy: Fleet Tyrrhenian Sea - > Naples.

Russia: Fleet Sweden SUPPORT German Fleet Gulf of Bothnia. (*void, dislodged*)

Russia: Army Bohemia SUPPORT Italian Army Trieste - > Vienna.

Russia: Army Livonia - > St Petersburg. (*bounce*)

Turkey: Army Moscow SUPPORT German Fleet Gulf of Bothnia - > St Petersburg (south coast).

Turkey: Army Sevastopol - > Black Sea - > Bulgaria.

Turkey: Fleet Greece - > Ionian Sea.

Turkey: Fleet Black Sea CONVOY Army Sevastopol - > Bulgaria.

Turkey: Fleet Eastern Mediterranean SUPPORT Fleet Greece - > Ionian Sea.

Turkey: Fleet Aegean Sea SUPPORT Fleet Greece - > Ionian Sea.

The following units were dislodged:

The Austrian Army in Vienna can retreat to Galicia.

The Italian Fleet in the Ionian Sea can retreat to Tunis or Apulia.

The Russian Fleet in Sweden can retreat to Finland or Gulf of Bothnia.

Austria: Army Vienna - > Galicia.

Italy: Fleet Ionian Sea - > Tunis.

Russia: Fleet Sweden DISBAND.

Ownership of supply centers:

Austria: Budapest, Greece, Serbia, Warsaw.

England: London.

France: Brest, Edinburgh, Liverpool, Marseilles, Paris, Portugal, Spain.

Germany: Belgium, Berlin, Denmark, Holland, Kiel, Munich, St Petersburg, Sweden.

Italy: Naples, Rome, Trieste, Tunis, Venice, Vienna.

Russia: Norway.

Turkey: Ankara, Bulgaria, Constantinople, Moscow, Rumania, Sevastopol, Smyrna.

Austria: 4 Supply centers, 5 Units: Removes 1 unit.

England: 1 Supply center, 2 Units: Removes 1 unit.

France: 7 Supply centers, 6 Units: Builds 1 unit.

Germany: 8 Supply centers, 7 Units: Builds 1 unit.

Italy: 6 Supply centers, 5 Units: Builds 1 unit.

Russia: 1 Supply center, 2 Units: Removes 1 unit.

Turkey: 7 Supply centers, 6 Units: Builds 1 unit.

Austria: Removes the army in Warsaw. England: Removes the fleet in the English Channel.

Russia: Removes the army in Livonia.

France: Builds an army in Paris.

Italy: Builds an army in Rome.

Turkey: Builds an army in Constantinople.

Germany: Builds an army in Berlin.

Selected Broadcast Press (1905):

(FRANCE): With great regret, the French government has seen the security situation in the Mediterranean deteriorate to an alarming extent. France has employed all peaceful means at its disposal to bring about a settlement of the disputes engaging the southern powers. These efforts have failed to secure the much-sought peace among Italy, Austria, and Turkey.

In light of these events, and fearing that the balance of power has shifted in a dangerous direction, France has sent peacekeeping forces to the region. France asks that Austria refrain from attacking Italy's positions so that negotiations leading to a permanent settlement can begin. France requests the Turkish government to hold its fleets behind a line extending from the southern tip of Greece to the island of Crete so as to aid the confidence-building measures.

France's troops will secure civilian populations against attack and ensure the timely delivery of humanitarian relief.

French troops will engage in combat only if the attacks on Italy continue. In that case, France will intercede to ensure the stability of the region.

With all due respect,

Jean Barquemondieu, Prime Minister of the 23rd Republic (more or less, but who's counting?)

(desper of math.rutgers.edu as OBSERVER):

Italy: Army Venice - > Trieste. (*bounce*) Italy: Army Trieste - > Vienna.

Italy: Fleet Adriatic Sea SUPPORT Army Trieste - > Venice. (*void*)

Hmm..those sailors must have been a little confused. :) Rick

(BOHEMIA DAILY; DATELINE: PRAGUE): Tsar Faz, making his last-ditch stand with the troops in the field, sent the following samizdat literature to the homeland, in the hopes that the memory of Russian arms will spark a country-wide fire against the hated occupiers:

Friends! Countrymen! Russia stands occupied, but not pacified. Our troops run retreated, but not defeated. And our neighbors talk so nice-but prove themselves lice. We Russians refuse to be cowed into submission by those who have imperial dreams of repression. In fact, things are looking bright for Russia! We have hired the services of Jeanne Dixon, Clairvoyant to the Stars (and to Rasputin). She brings interesting news. Says Jeanne:

``In the East, the A/T monolith approaches the end of its `free ride.' Tsar Faz, wisely trading space for territory, has managed to give up all his space, and now has lots of free time. (Who said this guy couldn't play?!) And the rapacious ones now meet each other, with no Russian buffer to separate them. With no Russkies nearby, the Turkish Gobbler will hunger for another turkey to fill its plate. While the German (Pitt's-)burghers look tempting, The Perry Mason of the West will instead opt for Greece-y `flank' stakes (made in Rumania by Vlad the Impaler and in Bulgaria by Crazy Eddie BeerSon)."

Will this satisfy the Turk after hours of filing habeas corpii and motions to suppress? Jeanne knows, but she ain't tellin'.

She continues with haiku poetry to describe more Balkan issues:

I feel excessively bored

By the ramblings of the Dark Lord

BirSauron

Inside his castle high

He queries the Russian

``Why?

Why do you hit me, after all I propose

Offers so vague you can't see your nose?

I never reveal my true self

(I'm such a mischieveous little elf!)

And still you refuse to listen..."

...And the treetops now glisten

I see red blood from red blocks

Burnt Vienna pastries

Says Jeanne: ``Expect less than four

I can see three from from here in TRI

This is the end...the end, my friend" ((oops, sorry, that's Jim Morrison))

Ms Dixon, having analyzed the Balkans, turned her gaze to the North. She opines: In the North, I feel tension. The old adage, ``Pitt, or get off the pot," is coming to fruition. A black shadow over central Europe hangs like a bad temperature inversion. However, winds of change are blowing from within. The winds blow contrary to each other, creating a tempest. First they offer warmth and stability to white clouds (or are they blocks?) in the north, and then the winds grow cold, bringing thunder and rain. Yet in the center of the storm, units sit placidly, ignoring other, eastern, gales brewing. Are we witnessing a bell-weather shift in the North and the center? Jeanne says: No way. Our forecast calls for continued hot air, lots of stagnation, and above-average chatter about how wonderful it would be to see Eng and Rus stay in the game and help versus the east. And then it will rain again. ((Jeanne thinks she sees Willard Scott in a yellow slicker, somewhere near Berlin, but she can't be too sure; too much cloudiness up north.))

In the West, Jeanne sees resignation on the faces of the Italians, for they sense that their Russian jockstrap (the ``24-hour support piece") has finally lost most of its elasticity. And Jeanne mutters something about ``foxes in henhouses" when she stares over the horizon, beyond Italy to the West. Russia can only assume her intent.

Tsar Faz, having thanked Jeanne Dixon (and then arming her and sending her to the trenches) concluded with these words - quite possibly his last printed material:

Russians! Stay true to the cause. Despite some bungling among our staffs, we remained true to our friends, and tenacious against our foes. The same Riders of the Purple Sage who criticize our moves now feel themselves losing some power, unsure if and when it will return. Others will grow greedier and clash with their fellow vultures. Russia will continue to aid its friends until the bitter end, and then beyond the grave. You may kill the body, but never the spirit.

Rasputin! Bring me those voodoo dolls of the players; let's give them some MORE backaches and broken hands. Stab Tsar Faz, will they (jab)?! Ha! Ya-ha! (jab, jab) Take that, swineherds! cackle, chortle...((double-jab on Hohn's shrugging shoulders))...saliva begins to drool down the Tsar's chin as he maniaically jabs the dolls...

We now return you to your regularly-scheduled programming.

Tsar Faz sends regards to the gamers and the observers over this fine weekend!

(FRANCE): With great concern, the French Foreign Ministry hears rumors of the Kaiser's conspiracies with the Sultan. Could, as it has been claimed, the Sultan really have ordered support for Germany's capture of St Petersburg ``by mistake?" Is this conceivable? Do the ambassadors to the French capital imagine that our Foreign Minister has fallen off the truffle cart only yesterday?

(KAISERPITT): KaiserPitt heard a troubling rumor over his tea and strumpets the other day. To wit: the French Foreign Ministry said: Do the ambassadors to the French capital imagine that our Foreign Minister has fallen off the truffle cart only yesterday?

KaiserPitt instructed Ambassador Skidmarck to say: ``Mais non, mon ami! We believe it was a wagon that your Alien Minister fell off of. What other reason could he have for doubting the peaceful intentions of your Germanic brethren?" To which,

(FRANCE): The Foreign Minister, it is reported, said to this transparent deception, ``I wave my privates in your general direction!"

(KAISERPITT): Ambassador Skidmarck was unimpressed. (mostly because there was nothing to see...a common problem, we understand, for most men of the French persuasion) The Ambassador did complain of a strong smell of rotten cheese, however...

(FRANCE): France pleads with Germany to stay the course. The Sultan is not to be trusted. His favoritism for Bir-Sauron, the failing monarch of the Ostreich, knows no rational bounds. German aid and comfort to the heretics in Anatolia can mean only one thing: Austria and Turkiye will rule Europe with an iron fist. Kaiser, rethink your strategy. The Future of the World depends upon it.

(RUSSIA): Live, from Russian-controlled Bohemia, it's time for the weekly talk show, ``Interview with a Vampire." As you know, each week we try and find a local Balkan bloodsucker to discuss matters of regional importance. Today's guest is that noted chameleon and Master of Fluff, Transylvania's Own, Edvard BirSauron (cheers and applause resonate).

Host (H): Welcome, Edi. Why are you looking over your shoulder, and what's that sound?

E: Glad to be here. Oh, the sound seems to be...ah...geez, it sounds like someone's sharpening a knife on a whetting stone. Hey, what's that lawyer doing in the audience?!

H: Well, anyway, BirSauron, welcome again to the show. As the regional vampire, what's been happening in your *neck* (haw haw!) of the woods?

E: Oh, much excitement. Let's see...I write a lot of press about dark horses and gloomy fog, and that always seems to get people excited. And don't forget my reams of vacuous press. To misquote Sir Winston Churchill, ``Never in the annals of gaming has so little been said in so many pages by so untruthful an individual." I also make a lot of phone calls, and I'm pretty good at telling my neighbors about bonehead moves they make, all the while offering nothing constructive in return. Oh, did I mention a lot of fluff in my move proposals for (chuckle) ``allies?"

H: Uh, yeah, BeerMan, you did. But let's move on. What does the future hold for your nation?

E: I envision everything will change when we eliminate the pesky Russian in Bohemia. As you know, Tsar Faz has been a pain-in-the-NECK ever since the mutual stab we pulled on each other in 1902. I managed to ``lie low" (in the coffin during daylight) and let him take the rap for stabs and non-supports of Turkey and England, and have managed to rule the night. And let's not forget the perpetual lying schtick that A, T and G have been giving him. Yep, in a couple more turns our combined half-dozen units from three nations will finally eradicate the little cockraoch, and I'm sure Austrian fortunes will only rise after that. Why, I'm working a half-dozen deals with I, F, G, E and even guys who haven't done a game-start yet. You just watch. I'll rise from the grave with even more force soon - they don't call me the Teflon Count for nothing.

H: But what of your neighbors? With Tsar Faz but a memory, who's next on your hit parade?

E: Well, I've done my usual thorough PsychoProfile checks, estimated projected gains in synch with the lunar cycle, and have asked my Dark LordUnderlings for advice. And I'm sure we'll have that answer in a few mo....((yells off-stage)) ``Hey, hey!, stop grinding that blade on the whetting stone!" Ok, where was I?

H: We were discussing future Austrian plans.

E: Oh yes. Well, never mind! Suffice it to say that I've offered everything to everyone, and I'm sure that in saying nothing, I've said everything. And already the offers are flowing in. Yep; just waitin' on the best one, is all. As the old song says, ``The future's so bright, I gotta wear shades." But I would say that - I'm a vampire (yuk yuk)! ((audience chuckles absentmindedly))

H: Mmm-hmmm. Would you mind if we interviewed your fellow bloodsucker and game honcho, Hohn Cho?

E: ((fidgets)) Well, sure. Not a problem. Well, actually, it is a problem. Ever since the Elvis Presley Imitator took his bad nose job to small claims court, Hohn's been, ah, busy. I'm afraid he's out of pocket, I haven't talked to him since 1902.

H: Ok, let's skip Hohn. Final question. if you could be King of the Board for a day, what would you do?

E: Oh, easy question! I'd give peace and free centers to all. I'd re-ally with Russia and Italy, and invade Germany, like I promised in Winter 1900. And I'd tell Pitt to lay off England and Russia; he's such a ``pitt-stol." And then we'd end the game with a 7-way and write great press about it afterwards.

H: Ah, Edi, your nose is growing awfully huge. Folks, that's all the time we have. Tune in again next week, when ``Interview with a Vampire" profiles Count Armm-Pitt of Germany, sharing the chair with his siamese twin, ``John the Holder" of France. Should be a hum-dinger of a show.

THE DUE DATE FOR SUMMER 1909 IS JUNE 21ST, 1997

THE DUE DATE FOR FALL 1909 IS JULY 12TH, 1997

Spring 1909

AUSTRIA (Johnson): a ser-TRI.

FRANCE (Pustilnik): a par-BUR, a PIE-tyo, f NTH S f hel-den, a sil-GAL,

f nao-NWG, f BAR-nwy, f BEL S f nth, f hel-DEN, a KIE S f hel-den, a RUH S a kie.

GERMANY (Alme): a BER S a mun-kie, a MUN-kie.

ITALY (Williams): a VEN S a tyo-tri, a TYO-tri, a GRE-ser, f ion-ADR,

a tri-ser (d r:alb,otb), f tyh-ION, f AEG-bul(sc), a pie-tyo (nsu), a sil-gal (nsu). RUSSIA (Rothenheber): f stp(nc)-NWY, a war-SIL, a mos-STP, a VIE S AUSTRIAN a ser-tri,

a BUD S AUSTRIAN a ser-tri, a BUL-gre, a nwy-SWE, a SYR-smy, f SKA S f stp(nc)-nwy, a BOH-tyo,

a SMY-con, f den-hel (d r:bal,otb), a RUM-ser, f CON-aeg.

Addresses of the Participants

AUSTRIA: Jonas Johnson, 3649 SE 33rd Ave., Portland, OR 97202, (503) 238-4430 ($3) ENGLAND: John Schultz, #19390, F-E88, Indiana State Prison, PO Box 41, Michigan City, IN 46361-0041.

FRANCE: Michael Pustilnik, 140 Cadman Plaza West, #13J, Brooklyn, NY 11201, (718) 625-0651 ($9)

GERMANY: Hank Alme, 5157 Norma Way #217, Livermore, CA 94550, (510) 606-7265 ($3)

almehj of kristen.llnl.gov

ITALY: Don Williams, 27505 Artine Drive, Saugus, CA 91350, (805) 297-3947 ($5)

dwilliams of csiway.com

RUSSIA: Ed Rothenheber, 11757 Lone Tree Court, Columbia, MD 21044, (410) 740-7269 ($3)

Rothenheber_Ed of bah.com

TURKEY: David Partridge, 15 Elmer Drive, Nashua, NH 03062-1722, (603) 882-3523 ($4)

rebhuhn of juno.com

GM: Jim-Bob Burgess, 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327, (401) 351-0287

Game Notes:

1) In a gaffe of epoch shattering proportions, your lame GM misplaced Don's press for last season (along with some orders and press from Harry Andruschak). I can't blame it on my cats as I just put it on a pile next to my bed with some Brit szines for ``bedtime reading'' and forgot it was there. I print it this season while consuming humble pie across the centuries.

Press:

(OFFICIAL FRIEDRICH NIETZSCHE QUOTE OF THE SEASON): ``For one should not overlook this fact: the strong are as naturally inclined to separate as the weak are to congregate; if the former ((i. e. the strong)) unite together, it is only with the aim of an aggressive collective action and collective satisfaction of their will to power, and with much resistance from the individual conscience; the latter, ((i. e. the weak)) on the contrary, enjoy precisely this coming together-their instinct is just as much satisfied by this as the instinct of the born ``masters'' (that is, the solitary, beast-of-prey species of man) is fundamentally irritated and disquieted by organization. The whole of history teaches that every oligarchy conceals the lust for tyranny; every oligarchy constantly trembles with the tension each member feels in maintaining control over this lust. (So it was in Greece, for instance: Plato bears witness to it in a hundred passages-and he knew his own kind-and himself...)'' From Section 18 of the Third Essay in the Genealogy of Morals. All italics, except mine in double parens, are from the original. Take that Berry Renken (Berry has been arguing the ``carebear'' philosophy to extremes lately, in my opinion). This book continues to lend itself to interesting Diplomacy oriented quotes.

(DANTE to NIETZSCHE): Hel mezzo del cammin' di nostra vita me vitrovai per una selva scura dov'e' la via diritta era smaritta. Roughly that translates to ``Reading your stuff makes me firmly believe I missed the boat and that there are, truly, eight circles of hell. Oh, Beatrice!''

(GREEN BLOCKS-GRAVY SUCKING WHITE BLOCKS): You're sorry you had to stab Dave? Oh, boo-hoo... give us a break, hey? You didn't have to, you wanted to. And I suppose you hated attacking Jonas in Spring 1901? And I know you still haven't gotten over violating the neutrality of Romania, Sweden, and Norway.

(ITALY-AUSTRIA): Your survival instincts are awesome... I just wish I hadn't run into the need to stab you.

(BOOB to LAME DUCK): Oh, come on, quit buttering him up, need some more Wesson Oil??

(ITALY-GM): Shut up. If Rothenheber can lie, so can I.

(ITALY-RUSSIA): All things considered, your stab went off pretty badly. Yeah, you kicked my green butt out of (most of) Austria, but your effect on Italy was something less than devastating.

(ROME to PARIS): Stick with me, kid, and I'll make you a star.

(BOOB to ROME): One is tempted to add ...shooting across the heavens, only to fizzle out over Eastern Europe...

(HISTORICAL NOTE to GM): Last season we had three annihilations and one retreat... that also happened back in Spring 1906. Bloody game, this.

(DON to JOHN): Hey, guy, let's get the press machine started and show these guys how to really rock.

(BOOB to JOHN BOY): Hey, you and I know that you have tried NUMEROUS times to jump start this bunch. I have settled for the idea that this is a great game with generally nonexistent press. Nevertheless, hope springs eternal and if you would leap back in with some press, you would meet with the eternal gratitude of the Boobish GM.

(CALIFORNIA to RHODE ISLAND ROGUE): Does Emmert read this game? ((How would you tell, you guys never write anything for him to read??)) Does he read at all? ((Ah, that's another story...))

(BOSOX FAN WEST to BOSOX FAN EAST): Here we go again... as I write this, the Red Sox are only one game back... they'll tease us again for most of the season before collapsing in a Bob Olsen-like heap. Sigh... what a masochist...

(BOSOX FAN EAST to BOSOX FAN WEST): Why did you have to write that? Immediately afterward, they spiralled into a deep May swoon that they are just struggling to get out of. Then, as you and I talked on the day after deadline day and they struggled back from two deficits against the hated Yankees, you had to go and hang up. It took six more innings, but the Sox were finally torched in the fifteenth inning! Masochist indeed.

(DON to CHARLOTTE): Howdy, darlin'! Can I interest you in a press exchange? Sure, it might not be fun, but it could be worthwhile if it makes Jim's life miserable.

(CHARLOTTE to DON): I'm not at all sure what it might take to make Jim's life miserable; I've been working on it for years now and I don't have it quite right, but at least I'm not bored (much, very often), and it has proved a challenge. Maybe a press exchange would work. . . maybe not. Anyway, you're quite adorable (cute and smart, for what more could any girl beyond 25 1/2 (or before) (or slightly after) ask?), so why not? Maybe you'll get lucky some evening and find me a little tipsy. And in a good mood. Maybe like tonight.

(JIM-BOB to DON): Yes, she really wrote that. You have a achieved a first. Her verbal response to me was something along the lines of ``perhaps, if it intrigues me and if I get bored this summer.'' She also said, ``I go for the ribald stuff'', but I suspect you already knew that....

(WILLIAMS to PARTRIDGE): Your last letter to me was less than gracious, and I must respond. There was little dishonor to our war - we were never allied, and we went to war with our swords, not back-stabbing knives. When the A/I began to get the upper hand and your position began to crack, you came begging for mercy and pleaded to be a puppet. Against Jonas' advice, I agreed. Within a year, you had betrayed me and cut the barely attached strings. Fortunately, I was able, with Russia's willing help, to stop you from gaining too much. On the turn before you were eliminated, you suggested I participate in a silly convoy/attack which would have kept you alive at Austria's expense. Based on your previous treachery, I declined the opportunity to undertake this foolishness and eliminated you, with Ed, instead. ((rhyming probably unintentional, but still amusing....)) Imagine my surprise when I read your full-of-umbrage letter calling me names and belittling me for being so petty as to eliminate you instead of setting myself up to be stabbed by you again. You know what, Dave? Kiss my green blocks!

(DON to HANK): I still think you should have attacked you-know-who in 1902. Best of luck as you continue to wriggle in that nasty Franco-Russian grape press.

(EUROPA EXPRESS to BOOB): Just to prove to you I have no life, ((Worry not, I had nary a doubt.)) here's an exercise that ol' Gary Coughlan used to indulge in - where are the original units now?

AUSTRIA: A BUD removed from BUL (W'03); A VIE now in SER; F TRI annihilated in GRE (F'08).

ENGLAND: F LON removed from YOR (W'04); F EDI removed from NTH (W'04);

A LVP removed from LON (W'03).

FRANCE: F BRE now in HEL; A PAR now in KIE; A MAR now in RUH.

GERMANY: A BER went otb from MUN (Sum'08); A MUN now in MUN; F KIE annihilated in POR (F'07).

ITALY: A ROM removed from SYR (W'06); A VEN annihilated in BUD (S'08); F NAP now in AEG.

RUSSIA: F STP(SC) now in DEN; F SEV now in CON; A MOS now in RUM; A WAR annihilated in BUL (F'04).

TURKEY: A CON annihilated in BUL (S'02); A SMY retreated otb from SMY (W'06);

F ANK annihilated in BUL (F'05).

Farthest traveller so far - Germany's F KIE, which was destroyed in POR. Longest, strangest trip so far - France's A PAR, which is now in KIE; after a trip through PIC, BEL, WAL, LVP, YOR, and HOL. Shortest trip so far - also to Germany, for A MUN, which went to RUH for two years, stayed in KIE for three and a half, and then went home; never even leaving the homeland. Only France has all three original units on the board, Russia has three out of four. ((As you discovered, I always keep the units in the same order and add new builds on the front, so you can find the oldest units by looking at the last few ordered units for each power.))

FRANCE HAS WON!!!

THE DUE DATE FOR END GAME STATEMENTS IS PAST - SEND NOW!!!

Addresses of the Participants

AUSTRIA: Brad Wilson, 123 N. 3rd Street, 3rd Floor, Easton, PA 18042, (610) 923-6610 ($4) ENGLAND: Rich Shipley, 1001 Mariner Court, Joppatown, MD 21085, (410) 360-1005 ($1)

FRANCE: Phil Reynolds, 2896 Oak Street, Sarasota, FL 34237, (941) 953-6952 ($4)

GERMANY: Doug Kent, 10214 Black Hickory Rd., Dallas, TX 75243 (214) 234-8386

ITALY: Stuart Lancaster, 4127 SW Webster, Seattle, WA 98136, (206) 937-4542 ($4)

bb405 of scn.org or bb404 of scn.org

RUSSIA: Randy Ellis, General Delivery, Grant Village, Yellowstone Natl. Park, WY 82190 ($5)

TURKEY: Jeff Ellis, 2120 Ramrod, #1517, Henderson, NV 89014, (702) 450-6361 ($2)

jeff6911 of aol.com

GM: Jim-Bob Burgess, 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327, (401) 351-0287

Game Notes:

1) Past the last chance for end game statements! This game really goes away next issue and life of the game subs end for Rich, Brad, and Phil. The default is to apply your NMR insurance to the sub until it expires. Tell me if you want to do something else.

Yuck. It started at a bad time for me and I never got going. I didn't write a lot - I did write Rich Shipley, by the way, and Stuart Lancaster, who pretended that I didn't, which made me mad - and I gave up quickly once I saw that Randy and Jeff were out to get me. I especially lost interest with some of their, and Stuart's, unpleasant wisecracks and sarcasm launched in my direction. Not, on the whole, the fun experience I expected in TAP. My fault, mostly, but in retrospect, Mr. Jim-Bob, maybe brothers as R/T wasn't such a hot idea? Put my NMR fee towards my sub, thank U! ((Perhaps not, and you're quite welcome. I really would have preferred the draw putting them farther away, but decided not to let it push me into manipulating the results. As far as them being in the game, I could be wrong about this, but I think I announced the game with: Stuart, Randy, and Jeff want to be in this game. Here's the deal, who wants to play with them. And not to push your analysis too hard, but certainly the game history in the big picture showed the three of them certainly quite willing to stab each other - ultimately to Phil's gain and their detriment. I'm sorry you didn't enjoy the game as much as you might have, but look on the bright side, it kept TAP coming to you right through the lean years. Welcome back!!))

THE DUE DATE FOR SPRING 1913 IS JUNE 21ST, 1997

Winter 1912

FRANCE (Rauterberg): bld a par; has a PAR, f NTH, a RUH, a PIE, a HOL, f ADR, a TUN,

a TYO, a VEN, f WES, f NAP, f ENG, f TYH.

GERMANY (Zarr): has a MUN, a GAL, a BOH, a SIL, a PRU,

a UKR, a VIE, a STP, a MOS, f BAL, f KIE.

TURKEY (Johnson): has a BUL, a GRE, a ARM, f EAS, a BUD,

a SEV, a SER, a RUM, f AEG, f ION.

Addresses of the Participants

FRANCE: Paul Rauterberg, 3116 W. American Drive, Greenfield, WI 53221, (414) 281-2339

Pprosit of execpc.com

GERMANY: Harold Zarr, 215 Glen Drive, Iowa Falls, IA 50126-1957, (515) 648-2821

RUSSIA: Eric Brosius, 53 Bird Street, Needham MA 02192 ($5)

72060.1540 of CompuServe.COM

TURKEY: Stan Johnson, 1254 East Broadway Road #56, Mesa, AZ 85204, (602) 668-1105

GM: Jim-Bob Burgess, 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327, (401) 351-0287

Game Notes:

1) The FG draw is rejected and reproposed. Please vote with your spring orders. If you don't vote, the draw cannot pass.

Press:

THE DUE DATE FOR SUMMER 1915 IS JUNE 21ST, 1997

THE DUE DATE FOR FALL 1915 IS JULY 12TH, 1997

Spring 1915

AUSTRIA (Davis): a BUD S a gal-rum, a sil-gal (d r:boh,otb), a TRI-ser,

a TYO-tri, a GAL-rum.

FRANCE (Zarr): a par-GAS, f BRE S f mid, a gas-MAR, a POR S f spa(nc), f SPA(NC) h,

f MID S f spa(nc), f ENG S f mid.

GERMANY (Jones): a kie-STP, a ber-SIL, a PRU S a mos-war, a LVN S a mos-war, a MUN S a ber-sil,

a BUR S FRENCH a gas-mar, a RUH S a mun, a mos-WAR, f BAL C a kie-stp, f GOB C a kie-stp.

TURKEY (Weiss): a BUL S a rum-ser, a rom-TUS, a rum-SER, a UKR-rum, f ion-TYH,

a SEV S a ukr-rum, f WES S FRENCH a por-spa (nso), a WAR-gal (d ann), f NAF S f wes,

f GOL-bre (imp), f VEN-tri.

Addresses of the Participants

AUSTRIA: Rick Davis, 2009 Bodega Avenue, Petaluma, CA 94952, (707) 773-1044

redavis914 of aol.com FRANCE: Harold Zarr, 215 Glen Drive, Iowa Falls, IA 50126-1957, (515) 648-2821

GERMANY: Charles Jones, 1722 Quail Circle, Corona, CA 91720-4155, (909) 735-8981

RUSSIA: Eric Schlegel, 314 Fords Lane, Aberdeen, MD 21001, (410) 272-3314

TURKEY: Richard Weiss, 231 Guerrero Drive, Tamuning, Guam 96911-3808, (671) 647-3478

GM: Jim-Bob Burgess, 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327, (401) 351-0287

Game Notes:

1) The GATF is rejected.

Press:

(GERMANY >> > AUSTRIA): I need Silesia. I don't really understand why you insist on staying in the area in the first place. Silesia is part of Germany and I never gave you permission to use it, so I have to try to eject your unit. No offense, but I can't advance without it.

(MIKE BARNO to CHARLES JONES): For example, I could write press in this game just to encourage Richard to shoot Elmer Fudd (wenitch of earthlink.net) in the ``ghodstoo'' game. Elmer, the Viscount of Fudd, kidnapped me in the ``Hermit'' game. Richard owes me a favor and surely can kill my oppressor and liberate me.

THE DUE DATE FOR SPRING 1908 IS JUNE 21ST, 1997

Winter 1907

AUSTRIA (Pustilnik): rem a vie; has a SER, a ALB, a BUD.

ENGLAND (Hoffman): bld a yor; has a YOR, a STP, a LVN, f CLY, a MOS, f NWG, f GOB, f BAR.

FRANCE (James): bld withheld; PLAYS ONE SHORT; has a PIE, f ION, f EAS, f ADR,

a TRI, a VEN, a TYO, f AEG.

GERMANY (Emmert): blds withheld; PLAYS TWO SHORT; has a SIL, a WAR, a BOH, a UKR,

a GAL, a SMY.

RUSSIA (Schultz): R a smy otb; has a SEV, a ARM, f CON, a BUL, a RUM.

TURKEY (Andruschak): CORRECTION FROM LAST TIME was: a GRE S AUSTRIAN a alb (otm);

has a GRE. Turkey also notes: ``Speak Softly and Sharpen Your Knife''.

Addresses of the Participants

AUSTRIA: Michael Pustilnik, 140 Cadman Plaza West, #13J, Brooklyn, NY 11201, (718) 625-0651

ENGLAND: Karl Hoffman, 395 Imperial Way #220, Daly City, CA 94015, (415) 991-2394

KarlHoffmn of aol.com

FRANCE: Drew James, 8356 Radian Path, Baldwinsville, NY 13027-9357, (315) 652-1956

dkbn of msn.com

GERMANY: Steve Emmert, 1752 Grey Friars Chase, Virginia Beach, VA 23456, (757) 471-1842

SEMMERT of city.virginia-beach.va.us ITALY: Dan Gorham, PO Box 279, Belmopan, Belize, CENTRAL AMERICA

Danielg of btl.net RUSSIA: John Schultz, #19390, F-E88, Indiana State Prison, PO Box 41, Michigan City, IN 46361-0041 TURKEY: Harry Andruschak, PO Box 5309, Torrance, CA 90510-5309, (310) 835-9202

GM: Jim-Bob Burgess, 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327, (401) 351-0287

GM EMERITUS: Garret Schenck, now lost, HELP!

GSchenck39 of aol.com - CANCELLED!

Game Notes:

1) I mistyped Harry's order last time. In actuality, I misplaced his entire set of orders and press (see mea culpas with Don Williams above...) and recalled that he had supported Austria and recollected it as supporting the other unit. Said orders are now found and verified. The actual support failed since Michael was moving the Albanian unit.

Press:

(ANDRUSCHAK-GM): So, you didn't print my submitted Press in TAP-189? ((Whoops....)) Well, maybe some of it was in bad taste and you run a clean family-oriented publication. ((Not true, sir, you libel me!! Bad taste NEVER stopped me...)) BUT, my fall orders were to support the Austrian Army in Albania, not Serbia. ((Double whoops...)) Please double check to confirm, and then inform Russia and Austria that I did order the support they requested. ((Done, but NOT the one they were able to use... not having your order in front of me but recalling that you supported him to hold, I made the logical, if flawed, assumption that you were supporting the one that wasn't moving. Silly me.))

(STEVE to AMATEUR CHEFS): Hope you liked the succotash. (Actually, I should tell you one alternative that will make the tomatoes seem a bit firmer: Leave them out of the original mix and substitute a cup of water. After 20 minutes of simmering, drain the water, add the tomatoes, and simmer for another ten minutes.) Last time I promised a recipe for pineapple-almond waffles, but there's really not much to that; you just add about 1/3 cup drained, crushed pineapple and a half teaspoon of almond extract to plain old waffle batter. I came up with this idea while lying awake in bed one night. At first, I worried that the pineapple would burn on the waffle iron, but they come out just fine. It also smells fabulous while it's cooking. Next month I'll give y'all my mint julep recipe. (Note to Jim-Bob: This will no doubt cause a tremendous demand for #191, so you might want to plan for a big press run.) ((OOOOH, I'm scared.... this next one will ensure a REALLY big press run.))

(ANDRUSCHAK-EMMERT): As a matter of fact, I wore my kilt last 17 March, and, when several pseudo-Irish asked why I wasn't wearing green, I replied, ``does wearing a green swimsuit count?'' Now I didn't actually SAY I was wearing a green swimsuit, so is it my fault they checked under the kilt and discovered I was marching true? ((No, though one easily could claim you were being intentionally misleading. You don't say what the result of this was, or (of keen interest) whether this was a mixed company of pseudo-Irish or not.))

(EFG to AR): Had enough, or do you want some more? ((OOOOH, they're scared too....))

(ANDRUSCHAK-BURGESS): For your interest, I enclose a copy of Hoodwink, now on its way to a fold, because it has the rules for ``Democratic Diplomacy'' and my first thought was that maybe you'd like to try it in TAP. But with more consideration, I thought that it might be even better to try it in the environment of the Internet. ((Probably, I've seen the variant's rules before as well as others like it that are being played on the Internet. It doesn't really appeal to me. It's one of those variants [multiple players playing each country and they vote on entire sets of orders, most votes moves the blocks] where the hype doesn't live up to the reality. This is true of many, many variants so I'm not singling this one out.)) To be honest about it, this first attempt at ``Democratic Diplomacy'' suffered when Stven announced he was folding Hoodwink. Only Germany has two team players actively coordinating with each other, which had much to do with our 18 center victory. Please read Brian Cannon's endgame statement (as well as my own writings) if you want to know how we did it. ((Anyone who is interested in seeing it could let me know, if they wanted to run it. Whew, another long issue, a bit late, but not too late.))

Personal Note to You: