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For various reasons this issue was completed at the last minute. Several mistakes crept in to the game reports because of this. The reports below have been updated. The changes are:

English fleet Norway in Copernicus must retreat to SKA or OTB

In Tour de Farce, Teddy and Koala's original positions were not deleted. This led to Koala incorrectly receiving a 15 replacement card when he should have gotten a 7.

In Milk & Cookies, Sweet Sara did not bely her name and throw a nasty snowball at Zamboni. She instead occupied herself sculpting several more aesthetically pleasing spheres to add to her collection.

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I am finding that I’ve been spending a lot of time at the last minute chasing down orders. There have been excellent reasons for the most of the delays, but it ends up taking away from the time I have to put Tinamou together and get it to Jim. Therefore, I am changing my deadlines. Deadlines for non-negotiating games will be one week earlier.

For Who’s Your Buddy, Milk and Cookies, Tour de Farce the next deadline is APRIL 10.

For Copernicus and Schwarzschild, the next deadline is APRIL 17.

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Game Openings:

Perestroika Diplomacy: Add an economic twist to the classic game. Centers generate revenue, armies and fleets must be maintained, treasuries can be sacked! Rules are available on request.

Signed up: Art Schleinkofer, Phil Reynolds

Outpost: An economic game where you decide which resources to purchase and try to keep your colony viable. It’s a race to generate the most income, but resources are limited and you have to bid against the other players for them.

Signed up: Sara Reichert

Duel Diplomacy: Each player controls a single home power and bids for control of the other powers each year. Players have 12 points to spread among the neutrals, with bids submitted with spring orders. Orders can NOT be conditional on which bids the player wins. A fun way to play Diplomacy with only two people, come and give it a try.

Standard Diplomacy: Nothing new, nothing novel. The only twist to this game is that I strongly encourage players without email to join up. The long deadlines make it easier to get those negotiations in. That is not to say that I do not want people with email joining, but please do not do so unless you are prepared to negotiate fully with those people who don’t have email and rely on the Postal Service.

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Woolworth II-D Who’s Your Buddy?

Austria: a gal disbands

Scandinavia: F NWG --> CLY, ICE, WAT, BAR, LAP, OTB

Balkans: A BUL --> MAC, OTB

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Breaking Away: Tour de Farce. Turn 2

The pack stretches out, but miraculously, with the exception of Kurt, there are no gaps. Lots of big scoring this round. The Horsemen and Goz both pick up 57 points worth of cards, only 3 off the maximum. TAP follows closely with 56 and Sweet Sara is right there with 46. Spending is very even with the Horsemen and TAP both using 21 and Goz using 24. In case you are wondering, without the 15 limit, that pack at 10 would have picked up 20s and Imlac would have a 27.

Boob to Farcists: Wow, we write a whole lot of junk, don't we????

Imlac to Jimmy Carter: Subordination supposes power on one part and subjection on the other; and if power be in the hands of men, it will sometimes be abused.

Boob to Goz: Well, you chose your company, not me.....

TAP to Triumph: That makes sense.... silly me! I didn't know

that thing that Conan does was called Syncro-vox Bill Clinton,

does he mention that often? The Shirtless Moron should have been my clue, but I'll need to buy one.... yeah, I did know Stacy was Andy's little sister but somehow it just didn't register.

Moron: time for my March Madness picks! The U on my chest stands for Duke! Final Four baby! Joined by Temple, Michigan State, and Cincinatti. Eastern Time Zone baby! Pac-10 SUCKS! woo-hoo!

Stacy - Nekayah: hey, we have a lot in common! Same cards! I think I like you a lot! But I can't remember if you're a girl

or a boy!!?!

SV Clinton - Fuzzies: Lookie here! I see fur! Here come's

good ol' boy Bill! Nee-hah!

Bill Clinton to SV Bill Clinton: Do I know you?

Gerald Ford (now stuck in a tree, next to a kite): TWEET!!

Jimmy Carter to Death: Yeah, I saw that commercial. Was that you? You're much taller in real...uh...life.

George Bush to Ronald Reagan: No Ronnie, not THAT way!

Ronald Reagan to George Bush: But the sign says "Montana this way". I have a cattle drive to ride after the race.

BRER PHIL TO GM: Oh, that makes sense. Unfortunately, my speedy guys will have to do a lot of coasting to be able to slow down sufficiently and get in line. I'll just have to wait for the rest of the pack to catch up and fill in the gaps....

GM to Brer Phil: I’d say Kurt is done waiting. In fact he’s got some pedalling to do!

Sara-All: I will be on vacation 11-26 March, visiting Family and friends in Seattle. You know, the place with all that rain.

The second column (to the left of the rider’s name) contains the card played this round. New cards received are in bold.

The Goz Transportation Co. (Warren Goesle: 3907 Cedar Ridge, #1B, Indianapolis, IN 46235 gozcorp@iquest.com)

Team Manager: Gerald Ford

Coached by Triumph, the Insult Comic Dog

The Warm Fuzzies ( Sara Reichert, 20805 Margaret St., Carson, CA 90745-1224)

Team Leader: Sweet Sara

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And the deck is RIGged against Austria. Foreign troops invade the homeland and the people in Munich start speaking with northern accents again as Germany returns home with a little help from his new found friends. England and France continue their goal line stands, although each suffers a setback this season.

Aus: A Mun – Tyo, OTB

Eng: F Nwy – Ska, OTB

Fra: A Mar – Gas, OTB

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Turkey: f gre – TYS

a nap --> ser, apu, OTB

a tri --> apu, OTB

a tyo --> apu, ser, OTB

Turkey:

a mos --> sev, ukr, fin, lpl, cly, lon, ruh, OTB

PHIL TO BERRY: I miss you.

Jar Jar flops his way back to the tree he came from. The Yeti adds a little to his bulk by lobbing a dirigible into his back as he lumbers along. JJ replies with a well aimed snowball, hitting the big white monster, well, somewhere, it’s kind of hard to tell while Yeti is rearming. Meanwhile Twitchy sneaks up on the unsuspecting Sasquatch, drops a dirigible on his head from point blank range and dashes off towards JJ, whom, since he was watching his snowball to see if it hit Yeti, sees him coming and, in his own words "whips a white snake at the twitching wonder". Northern Exposure lobs a snowball into a tree, but there’s no one around to watch the pretty conifer storm. He avoids his own storm as Zamboni’s catapult launches another dirigible over the shed trying for Nothern Exposure’s southern exposure. No net this time! Sweet Sara tries her own long range bombing mission with a snowball, but it doesn’t have quite enough elevation and thuds into the shed.

Yeti – Twitchy: Not even you can see through that tree.

GM – Yeti: No, but he can run around it!!

Yeti – Jar Jar: Did you enjoy your snow shower? Did you stick around for another?

Zamboni-SnowMaster: It is incorrect to say that Boobsway is jiggling his way into the kitchen to dry out his mittens. Can't you see that Boobsway is playing with old socks wrapped around his hands. He's too poor for mittens. My Mother said we aren't supposed to comment on them. Don't you got no manners?

Zamboni-Twitchy: Just for old times sake, thought I'd lob an easy one at you. Did you run away?

Z-NE: I'm hoping that I lobbed a blob of dirigible on your Southern Exposure. I know that's a dirty crack, but . . . oops, my Mother said don't say nothing about that too. And if the GM mistyped that as Northern CA I'm joining the tennis skirt in the Rose Parade in the complaint line.

Z-Ms. Tennis Skirt on in the winter time: Can I get sent to the house with you? I have a stethoscope thingamajig. We can make a racket while we play with my balls. Or, you could drink my milk and I could eat your cookie.

Amboniznay otsay oobsbay aysway: Omprendecay?

NE to SS: On behalf of those of us in the Midwest and Northeast: the reason we like this weather is because it usually keeps the people from California away.

Sara-Jim: While you are making a pig of yourself in the kitchen, remember these three important facts

1) If you swallow your gum, it will stay in your stomach for seven years.

2) If you eat part of the lead in your pencil, you will get lead poisoning.

3) If you swallow a watermelon seed, a watermelon will grow in your stomach.

Just trying to be helpful

Boob Sway to Sweet Sara: Yankee doodle went to town, riding on a turtle; turned a corner just in time to see a lady's girdle

TWITCHY TA HEIDI: Sapwize! Idz da endaround!

TWITCHY TO JER(K) JER(K): Go bink yersef!

NE to Z: How's that again? Pick up the dirigible, behind the back, over the shed, through the snowstorm, over the walk, to the snowman, nothing but Boob?

NE to GM: Ok, Zamboni hits on a 12, and I can't buy a 70? That's the last time I bring a patsy for you at Dip Incident.

GM – NE: Hey, you hit on an 86 today. Too bad nobody was home!

BS to NE: Nyahhh, bet you can't hit me this turn! I'll hit the broad side of your shed....

BS to SS and GM: There is TOO snow in Southern California!!! It appears in the MOUNTAINS, where it belongs......

BS to SS: Come in here and get what's comin' to you!

JJ - NE, Y, T: mean ol' treestormers! :

JJ - GM: Woulda stayed under that tree. Nobody would think I be soo dumb to stay there. But may-be they say Ol' Twitcher is so

dumb ???

GM – JJ: Twitchy not so dumb either.

JJ - BS: Could you drop some muffins in the oven? I'll be picking them up shortly.

Boob to Jar-Jar: Eat snow!!

JJ - NE: Twitchy's right. You should put some clothes on!

JJ - SS: My message to Boobsers has nada with you to do.

JJ - Z: Get off de Eis! Time for the second period to start!