Seriously, it was nice to see the date roll over come and go without much affect. It is a tribute to all the hard work put in by computer professionals around the world that there was so little impact. Trust me, I know, there were a lot of bugs out there. Now we can get back to fixing all the other bugs!

TINAMOU Deadline: March 6, 2000

Please note that Tinamou deadlines are dependent on TAP deadlines, being the Monday before the Saturday that TAP is due. If the TAP deadline changes, the Tinamou deadline will change accordingly

Yes, it’s that time again! The next Diplomatic Incident, lucky #13, will be held the first weekend in March. Once again my co-host Jack Sinnott will offer up his humble abode for a weekend of fun and gaming. People are welcome to just show up, but if you let us know ahead of time it does help. If you need crash space please let me know as soon as possible, and if you can provide space for anyone, that would be even better. Hope to see as many of you as possible there.

Here are directions to Jack’s place. In general, please contact me directly rather than Jack unless you are lost on the day of the event and need to call for directions.

Start Time: 11 AM

Phone: (617) 424-9073

Location: 12 Yarmouth St.

The nearest T stations are BackBay Station on the Orange line or Copley Square Station on the Green line.

From either:

Exit the station to Dartmouth St. Walk to Columbus St. (1/2 block to the left from BackBay Station, or 2 blocks past the Copley Plaza Hotel from Copley Square Station). Go right on Columbus St. Make the next right onto Yarmouth St. We're mid way down the block on the left.

Parking: Good luck. There are several garages in the square block bounded by Dartmouth St., St. James St., Clarendon St. & Columbus Ave. (BackBay Station is inside that block, for those of you without a map :-)) All are expensive, but not as bad as a ticket & tow by Boston's Finest. The garage at Copley Place Mall (St. James & Exeter, beneath the Marriot Hotel) is only a block further away and the shops inside the mall validate. To get to the games, just wander around inside the Mall until you find the "Dartmouth St/ BackBay Station" exit - its at the Neiman Marcus end. Then do as above.

A number of people have asked me lately about internet access and more and more people seem to be going online.

For the last six months I’ve been using free internet access and have had no problems to speak of. Of course I do have to put up with a banner of scrolling ads, but it doesn’t take very long for you to learn to tune them out. For anyone who doesn’t use the other features of AOL or other services, I strongly recommend that you take a look. I use it in combination with my rocketmail account which is accessible from anywhere and is of course free as well. For those who might be interested in free access check out the following sites:

and, believe it or not, brought to you by KMART, it’s

I generally use freei.net, it seems to be very reliable. When it is occasionally busy I use netzero. I haven’t actually tried the bluelight connection yet. I recommend that you stay away from altavista’s offerring, I’ve had a lot of trouble with it.

Two issues ago, in his szine Ishkibibble, Phil Reynolds posed the question of whether or not a player with a "hopeless" position had any obligation to play to stop the leader and prevent a solo or if seeking revenge was a reasonable strategy.

My own answer to that question is pretty straightforward, if I actually have a choice, then the position isn’t hopeless yet. If someone wants/needs my help to stop the solo, then they’d better offer me something, like a part in the draw. What I’d like to address now though is the other side of this question.

It seems to me that there are two general phases to most diplomacy games. There is the opening phase where you seek an alliance and try to be one of the ones who survives the original shakeup and makes it into the mid game as a reasonably strong power. Then there is the effort to move from the being one of several reasonably strong powers to be the one power who can get a solo. Here is where I think people spend too much time concentrating on the other mid-size powers and forget about the little guys. If there are several small powers out there with just a few centers, sure they are likely to be crushed and are not a big threat to you, but they can be very useful to you if you cultivate them. Remember, they have no obligation to play any particular way, and if their situation is not good, then if you can offer them a bit of fun, a spot of revenge, or just a kind word, you may find that those few armies are suddenly advancing your cause. Ignore them at your own peril, as if you do, you may find that one of your opponents, or even one of your allies has not, and they will be the one reaping the rewards.

Jim has mentioned the world email tournament going on and my game in it provides a textbook example of this. My opening strategy in the game was to coordinate a massive assault on Germany as I viewed him as the most dangerous player to my France. In 1901 I supported Italy to Munich while Russia moved to the Baltic. By 1902, Germany had only Kiel left. In 1903 I had to choose between allies and I made my move on Italy. As part of that move, I supported the lone German army back into Munich. Germany knew he was not going to survive, but he enjoyed the chance for a little revenge, and alone I did not have the strength to take the center. My strike on Italy was coordinated with Austria and caught Italy over extended against Turkey. I took no centers myself in 1903, but between Germany and Austria Italy lost two. In 1904, poised to take Rome and Naples with Austria,

I pointed out to Italy the rather obvious fact that if he tried to make a stand he had no chance, Austria, France and Turkey would dismantle him, but if he would abandon his homeland and bend all his efforts against Austria, I would guarantee his survival and keep Tunis open for him as well as support him forward in front of my own troops. He agreed, and by brief alliance with Austria was over as I grabbed both Italian centers and Munich from him while Italy took Greece and Budapest. By 1905, Austria was down to two centers and Italy decided to try and make a goal line stance against me, shoring up Austria from behind. That’s when I wrote Austria again and suggested that as he didn’t really have the position to hold me off forever, he might as well at least see Italy go out before him as Italy’s "irrational" attack on him had caused his downfall in the first place. He agreed and this season I will take at least two Italian and one Austrian centers.

Now things don’t normally work out this nicely, but in this game, each of the players that I helped wipe out helped me against the next one as their dying act. Why? Not because it was good for me, but because I bothered to write them and offered them something, even it it wasn’t a share in the win. While all this has been going on, my ally England has been waltzing through Scandinavia and into Russia against an incompetent defense. Had I ignored the little guy as the others did, I’d be a minor partner trying to figure out how to stop the leader, rather than running neck and neck with him.

So, the next time you’re looking at the board and notice that small power there, think about the fact that something is better than nothing, and if you can find something to offer, those few armies could suddenly give you a very large boost!

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Woolworth II-D Who’s Your Buddy?

Tis a season of bounces and unused supports. Austrian’s Galacian Corp is supported to move and hold and succeeds in neither, and France generously offers Germany support, but wisely makes sure to move in when the support is declined. Winter storms make fleet movement in the north risky as there are several near collisions and no one seems to get where they are going. Two powers follow up on Turkey’s auspicious start, failing to have even a single move succeed. And your GM is very proud of the way you have all stepped up to the plate on the press. That’s what this game is all about, writing that good press. And while I don’t have prize in mind yet, I’m sure I’ll think of something, so send in your guesses as to which powers are paired. Anyone is welcome to guess, first to get them all right gets something.

Austria: a gal – boh, sil, otb

Babble from the board:

Austria - Germany: What's true in regular Dip is true here, too; if Austria goes, Germany soon follows. I hope you fall before I do.

Austria - Balkans: Instead of being left alone, how about we work together?

Austria - Italy: Don't you have enough enemies without bothering me?

GM – Austria: Uhm, I hate to be pedantic, but whom would they be?

Germany - England: Where shall we play nice? West or north?

Berlin - "Finland, Finland, Finland": you thought I was kidding? All that sugary nice-nice between E/F/Sp makes me gag on my beer.

GM – Berlin: Don’t go wasting any good German beer around one of my games!

Germany - Russia: You went south. One of these days we'll have to talk about that. I'll come see you...

Berlin - Vienna: OK, I was greedy last season. I'm trying to make up for it now. Don't sound so nervous.

Germany - France: If you only want Swi, I hope you took it from Burgundy. Otherwise I might not believe you.

GM – Germany: And after France so politely tried to support you to Swi! You should be more trusting.

GM – France: Yes, those really were the orders you sent. I checked them twice.

Germany - Balkans: Please don't attack Austria (pan-Germanism rears its ugly head again).

Berlin - Rome: In the interst of continuing friendly relations, please move that army out of the Alps.

GM – Berlin: Does Il Duce get points for trying?

Russia - England: Looks like it might be necessary.

Russia - Turkey: We can try. Sail into the Black Sea now.

GM – Russia: If he keeps anticipating you this well I’m going to have to look into allegations of collusion!

Warsaw - Berlin: "I won't go West. There are many Slavs in the south". Basia, Czarina of the Slavs.

Russia - Scandinavia: You don't need an army in Lapland to keep control.

Rome - Paris: Can we agree to keep Piedmont neutral?

Rome - Madrid: I'll stay ouf of WMED if you stay out of TYRR.

GM – Rome: Two for two, you’re on a roll!

Rome - Vienna: Why do you want Venice?

Rome - Turkey: Thank you.

Rome - Balkans: I am not thrilled with the Hapsburgs; we can work.

Rome - Russia: Does this help?

Rome - Berlin: A new Axis?

Il Pepe - World: "Pax Europa"

France - Spain: If you stabbed for Marseilles, cutting my support into Switzerland, we will enter into a condition of hostilities between us.

GM – France: That would be the support for Germany? I can think of worse stabs!

France - England: If you can use your NAO fleet to support me into MAO, I'd appreciate it. My interests do not include war between our countries.

Sultan - Pope: I wasn't expecting the Spanish Inquisition.

Turkey - GM: So I had THREE bounces in Spring 1901? Just shows how much more crowded this variant is. By the way, you forgot to print a map this time around, not that it matters much to me.

GM – Turkey: You’ve improved, only two bounces this time. The Balkans, Austria and England appear to have been studying your style howerver. And I do note that no one had a completely successful season. Does seem like there’s not much elbow room doesn’t it. Hope the late map did make it to you all. Should be one here this time if I didn’t screw up the formatting again.

England-Spain: No interest in MID here. We should be fine.

England-Germany: I have a navy and would love to be friends. Can we be?

Balkans-Austria: Count me in as a Hapsburg ally. Could we have a tri-monarchy, Austro-Balko-Hungary? You could keep the capital. We'll contribute ethnic dissension and some nifty Eastern Orthodox art.

England-France: A-OK!!

Balkans-Rome: We send greetings to King Giuseppe I and wish that we forever be friends!!!

Norse to Russ---So. I see what you are doing. You want me to do dirty job of protecting your flank from foolish anglo-saxons. We will try, if you tell your cabbage eating pals in Berlin to help Vikings to North Sea!

Norse to Anglos---Ha Ha Ha...I lie to foolish Russians. We really are sailing to place in France. Want to see huge Brest!

GM: Uh oh, I have a bad feeling about this one. Who let Loki loose?

Norse to Krauts---Ha Ha Ha...We move big city from Jutland to Copenhagen. Now you must march very far to stab me. Please note, Vikings prefer German lager beer to Anglo ale. Perhaps a trade for wonderful Lap girl with no teeth?

Spain to France---Looks like the Pope invited me into the MED. I can certainly aid him without attacking you. MARS is safe---have fun in northern Europe.

Spain to POPE---Hope your "buddy" isn't France. Lets give those eastern pirates a taste of Toledo steel!

Spain to England---No armadas headed your way. The POPE has realized he can use the armada better against the infidel. Guess that's why he is the POPE!

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Breaking Away: Tour de Farce.

The second column (to the left of the rider’s name) contains the card played this round. New cards received are in bold.

The Goz Transportation Co. (Warren Goesle: 3907 Cedar Ridge, #1B, Indianapolis, IN 46235 gozcorp@iquest.com)

Team Manager: Gerald Ford

Coached by Triumph, the Insult Comic Dog

The Warm Fuzzies ( Sara Reichert, 20805 Margaret St., Carson, CA 90745-1224)

Team Leader: Sweet Sara

Jimmy Carter to Imlac: I hope you're not going to be that much of a downer all race, or I'll have to find someone else to share a square with.

GM – Jimmy: You’ll have to do something different than this if you want some new squaremates!

Gerald Ford (now stuck in high-tension wires) to Triumph: TWEET!!

George Bush to Conquest: Didn't your name used to be "Pestilence"?

Pinkard & Bowden to Kurt (with apologies to Carly Simon):

"You could have tried it several years ago, when you were still in your teens

But no, you had to go and bore us all with your flannels and worn-out jeans.

But you gave up way too soon my friend, you should have learned how to sing,

You had some dreams, now there's brains in your cornflakes, brains in your cornflakes, and,

Kurt Cobain, they'll probably do an album without you,

Kurt Cobain, I bet they do the next one without you, don't shoot, don't shoot..."

Bill Clinton to Stacy Richter: Hey, while Hil is off being a Senator, I'm gonna need a "personal" secretary, if you know what I mean. Are you busy after the race?

Ronald Reagan to Elvis: Seems like old times doesn't it? All we need is a director, a guitar, a monkey, and we can make another movie together. Or am I mistaking you for someone else? Is that you Bonzo?

Goz to Jim-Bob: I'm not sure I'd want to "go carousing" with any of the ex-Presidents. Jimmy just hammers nails, Ronnie needs 24-hour care, George jumps out of airplanes (I don't like being this tall, and I certainly wouldn't leave a perfectly good airplane), and, based on his track record, Bill has much different tastes in girls than I do. I might play golf with Gerry, if I thought I could swing a club wearing plate armor.

Horsemen--Rock Stars: So who's Bucky?

GM – Horsemen: HEY! Please direct all GM abuse to the correct recipient. I don’t want to have to be intercepting press to other players to find my abuse!

Death--Jimmy Carter: Haven't you seen my commercial on TV? The one where I put the little bird back in it's nest?

Death--Jimmy Carter: And you should see my tan!

Eric--TAP: Hey, I did the bunny thing the last game!

Horsies--Fuzzies: We're coming! Wait for us!

Famine-Imlac: Good quote.

Field-Elvis: Why'd you have to go and spoil the symmetry?

Triumph -> TAP: Well, I see that you have been too busy with your hectic schedule to keep up with the intellegentia of late night television, so I will introduce the team. Shirtless Moron is, well, the name pretty much says everything. He's the kind of guy who paints a letter on his chest at a sporting event. Woo-hoo! Stacy Richter is Andy Richter's little sister. (Andy Richter is Conan's sidekick, if you don't know that, there's not much hope.) Stacy is a bit lovesick for Conan, but prone to violent outbursts when angry.

Stacy -> Triumph: Shut your pie-hole, wiener dog!

Triumph -> TAP: As I was saying, Segue Sam is an ultracool dude who typically lounges around in a fancy 20s dressing gown and can always provide the smoothest transition from one subject to another.

Segue Sam: Speaking of transitions, how about that transition Hillary will be making to New York City.

SV Clinton: Hillary has moved to New York! Party at the White House! Bring your own lubricants!

Triumph -> TAP: and I'm sure even the ultracultured of Rhode Island, who have produced such literary works as "Dumb and Dumber", know who Bill Clinton is. As for me, I usually provide nice commentary. Like, "The Abyssinian Prince is a great 'zine...FOR ME TO POOP ON!"

BRER PHIL TO ALL: I really don't know what I'm doing.

GM – Brer Phil: Well, a small hint is if you line your riders up behind each other instead of side by side they can draft off each other and get better cards.

BRER PHIL TO TAP: Well, if I had to pick one of

my dead rock stars not to listen to, it would be

Elvis. Buddy, Jimi and Kurt are rock revolutionaries whose music I love. Elvis was quite influential, too, but I'm not into his stuff.

PEKUAH to SV Clinton: If you're looking to kidnap me, you can forget it. I've already been through that deal and I've had enough of being kidnapped by minor plenipotentiaries.

TAP to GT Co. II: Rasselas and I are on precisely the same

wavelength. Be assured that he and I have our Boobishness

precisely balanced. Just squeeze them and find out.

RASSELAS to IMLAC: What passions can infest those who have no rivals?

IMLAC to RASSELAS: Amidst wrongs and frauds, competitions and anxieties, you will wish a thousand times for these seats of quiet, and willingly quit hope to be free from fear.

RASSELAS to IMLAC: Do not seek to deter me from my purpose.

GM to Rasselas: And would that purpose be more than watching all those butts bouncing along in front of you?

IMLAC to RASSELAS: I am afraid you are hindered by stronger restraints than my persuasions; yet, if your determination is fixed, I do not counsel you to despair. Few things are impossible to diligence and skill.

french f spa/sc: por, otb

German a ber is annihilated

** played one short last year

Y2K problems have wiped out Berry Renken's computer. As it is unkown how long this will keep him out of touch, Paul Rauterberg will standby as the new Germany at least until Berry returns.