As those of you who read Jim’s blurb already know, Diplomatic Incident XII was held the first weekend in October. I had expectations of a lot of people, but we ended up with a middling crowd, eleven on Saturday which is always our biggest day. I played only one game of Dip on Saturday, but it was a good one. I was Germany, a power that I seem to go to extremes with, either going out quickly or doing reasonably well. In this game I opted for an alliance with Scott Renner’s France against Sigourney Street’s England.

Jim was playing Italy, and our long distance attendee,

Nick Parish, here from England by way of a stint at McGill in Montreal, was Austria. Adam as Russia and Jeremy as Turkey filled out the board. Having Jim on the board always makes for an interesting game as he loves to wander around the map and meddle in every relationship. Nick’s English style opening of an arranged bounce in Venice was a pleasant site as it slowed Jim’s spread a bit.

We opened the attack on England early, with France moving to Irish Sea in Fall 1901 while I supported him into Belgium, bouncing out the English. 1902 intensified the pressure as I moved into the North Sea, Scott took Liverpool and Russia sacked Norway. Jim had begun his wanderings, with a fleet heading for Turkey and an army moving north of Austria. Russia had Rumania and Turkey was beset on all sides by AIR. 1903 and it was already time for the FG to consider new frontiers. The two English units really weren’t a threat and could be finished of later, so I stabbed Russia for Sweden in the Spring and Norway in the fall while Scott moved fleets south. If you are going to stab someone, it’s always nice to have some help, so my northern attack on Russia was coordinated with an Austria attack in the south and my supporting Italy into Warsaw, dropping Russia from 7 to 3 in a single year.

It began to look like AI vs FG, but Nick and I had been talking all along and were working on the details of how to make our move. Nick turned out to play his cards very close to the chest, and surprised even me with a spring stab of Italy. It was all the signal I needed, and a little coordination with Italy led to the French army in Bur that was working to protect Mar actually getting in, letting the Germany army in Mun into Bur. Meanwhile, German and Austrian armies raced towards the central steppes of Russia. Austria actually had a leg up on the race, but a unnoticed hole allowed me to take Moscow and then some lucky guessing filled in the lines before Nick could exploit the gaps. Shortly we had the entire Mos – Mun line filled tight in an unbreakable stalemate line.

As we started our race, Germany and Austria each had 10 centers, yet only two fleets apiece! Good positions and eastern centers gained though meant that neither France nor Italy had a decent defensive line. Jim immediately abandoned his lines and raced for Iberia, planning to be the third wheel when Nick and I came crashing together there. Knowing how Jim thrives on such a situation and how difficult it would be to break out of the three way draw if he suceeded, I worked hard to convince Scott that his only chance was to do the same. As we approached the end game, Nick and I were each building fleets and rushing to the line while leaving an unclaimed center behind the lines for our "ally". With France in Por and Italy in Spain, we finished off those last centers and stopped to analyze the board. The lack of fleets in the early dash and the need to bring them forward from home centers in the rear meant that we had filled in the space around Iberia slowly and carefully. Neither of us could force the line, and Jim and Scott argued strongly for a 4 way draw, threatening to throw the game if one of made a move on them. However, I was able to support Nick into Spain, at which point he could not force the MAO and faced only the option of a three way or supporting me into POR for the two way, which is how we ended the game.

I think this was the first time that I have ever played to an actual two way draw that was created by a stalemate, not by the powers agreeing to share the win. We were locked tight all along the border and while we could have accepted the 4 way, there was never a way that either of us could break the line and make it 18. A very fun game.

Meanwhile, Jeremy Ring (F) and Adam Silverton (E) had joined John Fitzgerald (R), Pitt Crandlemire (G), John Quarto (I), Warren Goesle (T) and Jack Sinnott (A) for another game. I didn’t follow the game closely, but it ended in a three way draw between Pitt and the Johns.

It being a beautiful night, despite being October in Boston, we stayed out in Jack’s garden and played a couple of hands of Family Business. By then it was late enough that people were heading home. Nick and I had been swapping culture as he finished off most of the 12 pack of Bud he’d brought and I worked on the Bass. Guess the inferior quality got to him as he was ready to crash, so we ceded the living room couch to him and Jack and Mark (a non-Dip playing gamer who joined us) and I played magic until around 4. We were up by around 9, played a little more Magic, had some breakfast and broke out HernundStimmel (or something like that), an interesting game of hidden influence and a few black holes thrown in. Our one new face for Sunday, Avi, showed up around then, but with only 5, and one a non-Dip player, we opted for other games, first some more SternundHimmel and then a game of Settlers using boards from two games to make a large map. I’ve had great luck at Settlers, winning the first two games I played, and I was on the road to winning this one as well when I got hit by a lousy die rolling streak (only 1 card set in 11 turns!) and Mark, who was out of the running decided if he couldn’t win he could at least play kingmaker. Being the Rock king, he traded Nick all the makings for a couple of cities and Nick squeaked by for the win. A few games of RoboRally rounded out the weekend nicely.

All in all another great weekend. Some really good Dip and a lot of fun gaming. We’ll be doing it again sometime in February or March, if you’re on the planet at the time, drop on in and visit us!

Perestroika Diplomacy: Add an economic twist to the classic game. Centers generate revenue, armies and fleets must be maintained, treasuries can be sacked! Rules are available on request.

Signed up: Berry Renken, Art Schleinkofer, Phil Reynolds

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Woolworth II-D Who’s Your Buddy?

Welcome one and all to Tinamou’s first Woolworth II-D game. For those of you who aren’t familiar with my notation, the units final position is in CAPITOLS and BOLD. Failed moves will be underlined and units that must retreat will be italicized. I will provide a map each season. If for some reason the map and the printed results do not agree, the results are the official version. Any mistakes must be raised before the next deadline, once another turn has been processed they will have to stand.

So, with no further ado, have at it, and have fun!

Babble from the board:

England to Frogs: Note my direction. Peace and love forever! And you don't even have to eat our beef.

GM: Beware the English cavalry riding their mad cows!

England to Russia: Shall we share a shot of Aquavit?

England to Germany: Let's play nice.

From Scandinavia: All of the Norse population is rather confused by this one government idea. However, the majority of the population believes that if the people in the Balkans can maintain a unified state, anyone can. When asked about the benefits of unification, King Olaf the Fat was quoted as saying, "Hey, unification is great! Now we can afford big battleships to go viking in! Look at the size of those big guns! Wahoo!"

GM – Scandinavia: I don’t think you left any of that Aquavit for the English and the Russians!

Balkans to A-H: We love the Hapsburg. May it rule forever and leave us alone.

Balkans to Russia: Turkey-carving time!!

Balkans to Italy: Note the Ionian left open.

GM – Balkans: Noted and filled!

Spain – France: Many apologies, but MID is crucial to my defense. I have no designs on France. Want support to the channel?

GM – Spain: Sorry, you don’t get long range bombers until 1942, till then you can only support within range of your guns.

Spain – England: Must insist that you stay out of MID old chap. Am willing to consider mutual targets.

Spain – Italy: Tunis will buy you many things. Peace and support from the Spaniards, or unceasing conflicts in north Africa. Choose wisely.

Berlin - Nanook of the North: How about we make a truce and squash a budding E-F?

Germany - Austria: Bet you were looking for Mun to Tyl, huh? Sorry, but I need the dots first.

GM – Germany: Did you forget to mention that to the French?

Munich - Warsaw: Please don't head south (that's my pan-Germanism this season).

GM – Munich: Does it count if he only tried to go south?

Berlin - Madrid, Copenhagen, hell, even London: I need an ally with a navy; any volunteers?

Austria - Balkans: We might get caught in a Russian-Turkish-Italian trap. If you, me, and the Kaiser get together, we can overcome them.

Austria - Italy and Russia: Don't be alarmed. They are just defensive moves.

GM: Where have I heard that one before?

Pope - Turks: I'm coming for you...me and my Spanish Inquisitors...

France - Germany: I am NOT attacking Munich. I only want Switzerland. Thank you for your cooperation.

GM: With cooperation like this, who needs conflict?

France - Spain: If we bounced in MAO, no problem. If you stabbed for Marseilles, problem.

France - England: Belgium for me, Holland for you, OK?

Warsaw: The Polish Czarina, Basia Volodyovska, wants peace and friendship with Europe and pledges sisterhood with all Slavs.

Turkey - Russia: Shall we try a Juggernaut in this varient? The Balkans for me, Austria for you. If my fleeet is in the Black Sea, it will support my army in or into Bulgaria in Fall 1901.

ROME: King Giuseppe I, affectionately called Il Pepe by his people, sends greetings to Spain, France, Germany, Austria, Balkans and Turkey. He hopes to have friendly relations with all Mediterranean and Alpine powers. The remaining uncivilized barbarians be damned.

Press:

The Abyssinian Prince strategizes:

Rasselas plays a 2 and tries to slip in the winning hole;

Nekayah plays her 3; Pekuah, always at her mistress' side plays the 4, trying to win her another point; and Imlac philosophizes here and philosophizes there but only moves 1.

Jimmy Carter to Death: Nice outfit. How do you ride a bike in that?

GM – Jimmy: He uses the scythe for balance.

Bill Clinton to Sweet Sara: Hi there darlin'. Say, I've got an opening in my typing pool. No experience necessary.

Ronald Reagan to George Bush: Where did Gerry go?

George Bush to Ronald Reagan: I dunno. He was here a minute ago pumping up a tire. (Gerald Ford can be seen in the background floating away, his pant leg somehow turned into a hot-air balloon.)

Gerald Ford: TWEET!!

Bill Clinton: Oh-oh, gotta go sweetheart. See ya at the finish line.

Ronald Reagan: Well, we're off. Here we go again...

Triumph -> Gerald Ford: We both got Clinton, and both as the "D" rider!

GT Co. II to The Abyssinian Prince: How can your team be "balanced" when it has an extra "Boob"?

SV Clinton: Nee-Hah! Nee-hah! How you doing everybody! We've got rock stars, Presidents, Abyssinians, Fuzzies, and the Four Horseman! Nee-Hah! OK, Moron, get moving!

Triumph -> Cuddles: Meet me behind the bushes at 12:00. Won't take more than a minute.

Goz: Is everyone else getting the same great visual imagining the Four Horseman chasing the Warm Fuzzies?

Triumph -> Ford: Can you explain that Magic Bullet theory

again?

Moron -> Death: Care for a game of Chess?

Segue Sam: Speaking of Death, it seems that one of the teams

has gotten to know him a little too well, wouldn't you say so,

Kurt?

SV Clinton -> Pekuah: I see you are "the Princess' aide". Does this mean you are an intern?

Stacy -> Kurt: You're my FAVORITE! I hope you will ride with me. Will you?? Puh-LEASE!!

TAP to Phil: You aren't balanced!!! All your dead rock stars are male and only three of them are worth listening to, it is up to you to figure out which one's death was a musical (though not a personal) blessing!

TAP to Warren: Now, YOU know something about balance. Two Dems, two Repubs; two great speakers, two pedestrian ones; two sinners, two saints (guess which ones??); two who did great things as Presidents, two who did (or will do) great things as ex-Presidents; two you would want to go carousing with, and two you wouldn't; two you would enjoy a "fireside chat" with, and two you wouldn't and so on.

TAP to Rick: Who??? I guess I have to watch Conan more often.

TAP to Eric: We are a bit unbalanced toward the negative side, aren't we?? Where's the sweetness and light??

GM – TAP: Hey, wait until the PR machine kicks in. These guys have been getting a bad rap for years!

TAP to Sara: And you simply are unbalanced! Eeeeeuw!!

Jim-Bob to Goz: I don't think Ronnie has a clue any more,

sad but true. Don't let him get lost on the course.

He already thinks he's swimming instead of riding,

this is a Bike Race, not an Ironman Triathlon!

Imlac pontificates: The state of a mind oppressed with a

sudden calamity is like that of the fabulous inhabitants

of the new created earth, who, when the first night came

upon them, supposed that day never would return.

When the clouds of sorrow gather over us, we see

nothing beyond them, nor can imagine how they will be dispelled: yet a new day succeeded to the night, and sorrow is never long without a dawn of ease.

Jim-Bob pokes his way in: Uhhh, Imlac, this delay was MY fault. Don't you think we should be playing it down, rather than calling such attention to all this "sorrow"?

Imlac: Never mind.

New cards are in bold.

The Goz Transportation Co. (Warren Goesle: 3907 Cedar Ridge, #1B, Indianapolis, IN 46235 gozcorp@iquest.com)

Team Manager: Gerald Ford

Coached by Triumph, the Insult Comic Dog

The Warm Fuzzies ( Sara Reichert, 20805 Margaret St., Carson, CA 90745-1224)

Team Leader: Sweet Sara

Russia to England: Hello? If I wanted to get ignored like this I'd start dating again. Three times I wrote you. What didn't you like about it? Please put the diplomacy back in Diplomacy.

Italy: Graham Wilson

Turkey: Phil Reynolds

TURKEY TO ALL: Ahhh, feels soooo good!

Black Holes: NWG, ALB, NAF, HOL, ARM, GAL, PIE, LYO, ION, YOR, WES, BUR, STP, NAT, SYR, NTH, TUN, BRE, BAL and NWY

The center count is now 29, which makes the victory conditions 15 centers. Note that victory determination is done after the Fall black hole is placed on the board.

Milk and Cookies

And we’re off. BS opens the hostilities by pasting Zambonie right in the ice maker while Zamboni is loading up with a dirigible. Twitchy also makes himself a bomb, which he heaves at Jar Jar. JJ meanwhile has run (lumbered, rolled, slithered, flowed, flapped? I haven’t seen the movie.) over behind a tree, which politely blocks Twitchy’s missile for him. He unloads his own snowball back at Twitchy with more telling effect and tosses (spits, ejects, whatever) the other one at JS, who stares idly at the sky as it goes by. While Twitchy is slaking his thirst with JJ’s snowball, another gift from lobs in from the north as Northern Exposure pinks him from behind. Meanwhile, BS switches targets to Sweet Sara, who returns the compliment. Getting into the spirit of things, Zamoboni scrapes together what’s left of Boob’s snowball of his front, adds a few extra pounds of slush and flattens BS from behind.

Everyone loads up in the final act, except for Sweet Sara who takes the opportunity to add a little more ice water to the rivers already running down Boob Sway’s back.

Northern Exposure to Zamboni: There's a big lump in the snow you need to smooth over. It's got a big "BS" written on it.

Zamboni-snow ballers: Slackers. I shall clear the ice of the likes of you. Mere snowballers.

Northern Exposure to Sweet Sara: C'mere little girl. No one's gonna try and hurt you...

JJ -> Game: Ex-SQUEEZE Me! Anybody see my Jedi friends?

JJ -> PR, JS: Did youssa throwsa dee balls at meesah?

JJ -> GM: Me lika dee Bolero!!

GM ->JJ: One of these years I’ll see the movie and understand.

TWITCHY TO SCHULTZY: I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaack, sucka!

TWITCHY TO JAR JAR: I didn even see yer louzy moovy en I hade ya!

TWITCHY TO ALL: Yer all such a joke! I'm gonna make liddle puddles oudda all a ya! Ha!

TWITCHY TO GM: Whatch yu lookin at, bub? Yu lookin at me? YU LOOKIN AT ME????

GM TO TWITCHY: Nahh, I just thought someone had brought a snowblower into the yard. Quit vibrating, will ya?

SS - BS: You want GM abuse? OK, here is some abuse. Not, perhaps, GM abuse, but a good start. More to come. Besides, you were the nearest target.

GM – SS: Yo, over here! He’s just a player in this yard!

SS - Toto: Snow?? Somehow, Toto, I don't think we are in northern California anymore

SS - GM: Non-fat milk for me please, and I prefer oatmeal raisin cookies.

GM – SS: Play nice with the boys, share your snowballs with them, and they’ll come in for their snacks first!

Boob to Northern Exposure: Can't see you hiding behind that building I won't move until you come out, I know you're a pervert and want to watch.....

Boob to Zamboni: Don't try to make ice with me, take that!!!

Boob to Sweet Sara: No girls allowed, only cross dressers!!! Out, out, sweet spot!!!

Boob to John and Phil: Can't we have names to make fun of you too???

Boob to Rick: You chose that name just for me, didn't you??? Just to mock you, I shall not comment, at least not yet. Too bad we don't have Daphne playing, she actually likes your reprehensible character for genuine reasons!!!