Hello all,

         I'm up late tonight(late Thursday,early Friday) and this came in from Don just after 1AM here in Memphis almost an hour ago. You (and you and you and you) are getting it because Don asked each one of us to forward it to everyone on this list just in case his new mailing system isn't delivering it to all of you.  Don says in the game report he'd like you to let him know if you got your copy directly from him or not. Glad I'm not the one that NMRed (because those were my moves and my press---well most of it was mine anyway) but I'm sorry to have to pull out after I initially agreed to play. (I had told Don I might have to in advance). I hope when you see my moves you'll understand why I made the moves that I did------because some critical emails surprisingly went unanswered.   Anyway,  it looks like it will be a lively game. Til later.........Gary

----- Original Message -----

To: Jim Burgess;Jim O'Kelley;Bob Olsen;Daf Langley;DeRees "Corky" Clark;Gary Coughlan;Mike Mazzer;Mark A Fassio;Steve Arnawoodian;Steve Cooley;Steve Emmert 

Cc: Scott Williams;Scott Wilk;Ryan Wheeler;John Bovee;Greg Bond;Dave Peterson

Sent: Thursday, August 1, 2002, 11:12 PM

Subject: DE#14F

 

 

“To git thar the fustest with the mostest.” – Confederate General Nathan Bedford Forrest on military success 

“My center is giving way, my right is in retreat; situation excellent.  I shall attack!” – French Marshal  Ferdinand Foch

“Is it possible to succeed without any act of betrayal?" –   Jean Renoir

 

Renaissance:  Welcome to the "rebirth" of "ILIAD", alias 2002 B, after its near-death following the 7 NMRs.  Thank you guys(and Daf) for agreeing to keep this one alive (or what I took to be agreement in one case---hope you know who you are---you should get a note with your game report from me clarifying this) as an early birthday present to me so I can continue to hone my GMing skills.  I'll always remember your foolheartiness, uh, generosity in doing so.  Seriously, thanks.  Thanks for the press as well. Lots of black press since anyone can write from any dateline in this game.

NMR/Game Abandonment Fees: Original Iliad players, because they abandoned this game, owe $25.00 each penalty fee.  This money does not go to me but is forwarded by me to the Diplomacy Hobby's Orphan Game Project Director helping to defray costs of re-housing abandoned Dip games, mainly postage costs and to discourage this type of irresponsible behavior.  Please try to get your $25.00 to me by August 15th at the latest and be sure that the checks are made out in my name, payable to: "Donald M. Williams". Players owing $25.00 apiece(though there is always the right of appeal) are:  Scott Williams, Scott Wilk, Ryan Wheeler, John Bovee, Greg Bond and Dave Peterson.

Publication: Readers of DE  in TAP  haven't seen the Spring 1902 season so it is below in this issue with the countries under the old players' names and with updated game notes.  Fall 1902 with the new guys' names and moves (and press!) is right after that with more information in the game notes. Don't always expect me to get the results out this quickly but you know that.

Odyssey:  Since all the "ODYSSEY" players are now also in this "ILIAD"  game, just a reminder that your deadline for that game is Thursday, August 8, 2002, 9:00 pm Pacific.

No Press Gunboat Game:  I am starting a new game.  I have three openings left. It will be a No Press Gunboat game.  I’ve never offered one before, but based on a recent discussion with a Hobby friend, I thought I would give it a try.  If you want in, let me know.  I’ll tell you right now, it will be aggressive and bloody.

Generic Standbys:    Bob Olsen, Steve Emmert and Andy Lischett have volunteered to be what I call "generic standbys". Each season they will write orders for all seven countries and if one of the regular players fails to submit orders by the deadline,  I'll randomly choose one of the three's orders so that no country's position will be catastrophically damaged. Only one of you this time didn't submit orders. This player will not lose his position unless he NMRs twice in a row.  As GM,  it will not be my policy to publicly indicate who NMRed. You know who you are and I'll privately inform you.  Please don't let it happen again.

Dip Wives Dept:  Stephanie, like Anne Marie ("Mrs Chum") O'Kelley, has been using this computer more than me lately.  She's installed a new mailing feature that I'm going to use for this game for the first time so I hope the copy gets through(I've had some troubles during the past three weeks with emails not getting delivered) and isn't scrambled. Let me know if you get it and, when/if you get this, please hit the "Reply All" button and send it to the others just to be doubly sure that it reaches them.

 

 

2002 B  ILIAD

 

Spring 1902    

  

Spring 1902:

OAustria (Ryan Wheeler)                        A VIE H, F TRI H, A BOH H, A BUL H, F GRE H.

OEngland (Corky Clark)                          F lpl – IRI, F nwg – NTH, F NWY S F nwg – NTH, A LON H.

OFrance (Scott Williams)                        A par – PIC, A BUR S A a – mun(imp*), A mar – PIE, F por – SPA(sc).

OGermany (Greg Bond?)                         NMR!  A MUN h, A SIL h, F KIE h, F HOL h.

OItaly (John Bovee)                                F tun – WES, F nap – ION, A rom – TUS, A VEN H.

ORussia (Dave Peterson)                        A GAL H, A MOS H, A SEV H, A WAR H, F RUM H, F SWE H.

OTurkey (Scott Wilk)                              F CON S F BLA, F BLA S F CON, A ARM H.

 

* There was no way for GM to determine what A BUR was trying to do.

 

 

Game Notes:

• Deadline for Fall 1902 was originally Friday, July 5, 2002, 9:00 pm Pacific but due to the 7 NMRs was postponed until Thursday, August 1, 2002, 9:00 pm Pacific with the new players taking over.
• Steve Cooley was called as a standby for Germany.  He is now the German player of record in this game's new second phase.  Incidentally, Steve did not NMR but I saw no point in going ahead with just one player submitting orders. Or two.  More on that below.
• There was no Spring 1902 press;
• New Feature: Each season we'll look at one of the original 22 starting units and tell where it is located now.
•  The 7 new players were provided with the 1901 Supply Center Chart as shown below.  Four  

           neutral supply centers existed at that time but not after Fall 1902 with this new crew of old

           hands !  

• Game maps to follow in the "hard" copy.

 

 

2002 B  ILIAD

 

Fall 1902    

        

Fall 1902:

OAustria (Daf Langley)                           AVie-BUD, F Tri-ALB, A Boh-VIE, A Bul S (TUR) F Bla-Rum(NSO), F GRE S A BUL

OEngland (Corky Clark)                          F IRI-Mao, F NTH C A LON-Bel, F NWY-Stp(nc), A LON-Bel.

OFrance (Gary Coughlan)                       A PIC S A BUR-Bel, A BUR-Bel, A PIE S (AUS) F Tri-Ven                                                      (NSO)(d; r Mar,Tya,OTB), F SPA(sc) H.

OGermany (Steve Cooley)                       A MUN-Bur, A SIL-War(d; r Ber,Boh,Pru,OTB), F Kie-DEN, F HOL S (ENG) A LON-Bel.

OItaly (Mike Mazzer)                              F WES-Mao, F Ion-AEG, A Tus-PIE, A VEN S A Tus-PIE

ORussia (Jim Burgess)                            AGal-SIL, A MOS-Stp, A SEV S F RUM(d; r Ukr,OTB), A WAR S A Gal-SIL, F RUM S (TUR) F BLA-Bul(ec)(NSO), F SWE-Den.

OTurkey (Jim O'Kelley)                           F CON-Bul(sc), F BLA S A Arm-SEV, A Arm-SEV.

 

Game Notes:

• ZAT for Winter 1902 is September 5, 2002, 9:00 pm Pacific;
• Next ZAT, for Spring 1903,  is tentatively October 3, 2002;
• Corky has been expelled as England because he has lied to the other players in this game.  Mark "Faz" Fassio has graciously agreed to assume the English position beginning with Winter 1902; 
• With his Fall 1902 orders, Gary says he has to "reluctantly resign" from this game but he will still remain in Odyssey. He explains in his Fall 1902 press below.  Steve "Woody" Arnawoodian takes over as France beginning in Winter 1902. So Woody gets another chance with another France;
• Both of these "new" new players' postal and email addresses are in the Address Block below, following the press, along with Daf's new COA;
• With three NSOs (No Such Order) in one season, sounds like some need to negotiate and answer emails.  Just a hunch.  

 

 

PRESS:

 

GM to GAME: What the hell, let's just jump right on in......

A-MAZING MAZZERMAN to DAF:  Guess which way my "Tower of Pisa" leans !

TSAR TO ARCHDUCHESS:  My tumescent turgidity is abundant!

DAF to GAME: My motto is, take it easy but take it.....

ROME to GM: I hate to keep sounding like a broken record but why do you keep NOT printing my press releases?  You left out my Rhett Butler press last time.

GM to ROME:  Geez, sorry Mazzerman but frankly my dear, I don't give a...nmad......I think it's the Gwava monitoring system here in the office, Santa Clarita's version of Daf's "Mail Marshal".  Try sending your press to my home email instead from now on and hopefully that will solve the problem. Though your "Rhett" press technically belongs in the Odyssey press, I'll put it in here since I seem to be making a habit of overlooking your press "gems" lately for whatever reasons. 

England - Italy:  Well fiddle - dee -dee Rhett Coughlan, heah are y'all with that Kaiser - boy, prancin' about with yoah earbobs danglin' and yoah haiah all done up like a scarlett lady.  A propuh suthun lady
should show some self respect!

SOCRATES: Methinks that the "scarlett lady" you refer to is actually the Red Duchess....alias Daf....

VIENNA to ROME: Wanna play Mark Antony to my Cleopatra, Big Boy?  Don't worry, I'm not like the Serpent of the Nile-------I'm "Danube Daf".

GM to RED DUCHESS:  And that's not the only thing about you that's "Double D" ! Speaking of which, it's time for the........

THE BRESTIAN CHRONICLES-{Brest]......Arsenic deja vu?....."Machiavelli" Mazzer?....Proverbs 9:17...Belgium or Bust!...

SOCRATES to FRANCE:  This season the word is "bust", and, for the final word in bust, "Double D" Daf says.....

RED DUCHESS to GM: Seems that Austrian Empress Maria Theresa(1740-1780), mother of 13,would often also suckle peasant babies on her journeys through her empire at "the Imperial Breast".  Wanna suckle, Honeysuckle?

GM to RED DUCHESS: Is it true that those things become insouciantly pert,  travel in pairs and can get pretty aggressive? 

RUSSIA to TURKEY:  Elijah Wood was never a browser of the week!

GM to RUSSIA: What? Having a subject and a verb is a good press start for you but you could have put it into Cyrillic script and it would have made just as much sense as it does now.

[PARIS]-  Let me get this straight...... Germany NMRed and every Austrian, Turkish and Russian unit just held in place doing NOTHING? And then the next season all seven countries NMRed after that?

SOCRATES to PARIS:  They're would've NMRed. Actually the German standby, Steve Cooley, turned orders in and, I have been reminded, so had the English player Corky Clark but I didn't see any point in adjudicating that season though there was some disappointment with my decision.....

Berlin to GM:  So what if 6 out 7 players didn't submit orders?  I did and this was a game I could have won! You let it stand the season before when Germany was the only one to NMR.  I say let the chips fall where they may. Tomorrow should have belonged to me!  Curses, foiled again!

England to Don: I did so send orders in!  Here's a copy of my June 28th email proving it.

GM to ENGLAND:  It's a moot point now and so is your position as England.  And I really cannot believe that you would lie to other players in this game so I have no choice but to remove you from Iliad after this season. You're not the only one who needs to think about what type of Diplomacy player you should aspire to be.....

BOOB to CHUM:  Don't be  "Turtle Turkey" again like you were in Arsenic and just sit there all game.

GM to BOOB:  I don't think you have to worry about that.  Maybe you do....

CONSTANTINOPLE to RUSSIA:  Sorry about Sevastopol, ol' Chum.  Oh wait, that's me.  I mean that's mine (I hope). Oh never mind.

GM to BOOBISH RUSSIA:  I was hoping since your country was the biggest that you'd be sure and print "DENY EVERYTHING"  in "THE ABYSSINIAN PRINCE".  Guess there's no chance of that for awhile now that Russia under your leadership is the first country to have a removal. So what do you say?

RUSSIA to GAME: You don't tug on Superman's cape, you don't spit into the wind, you don't pull the mask off that ol' Lone Ranger and you don't mess around with Jim!

GM to RUSSIA:  Doesn't the rest of that Jim Croce song go this way......"he was cut in a hundred places and shot in a couple more" ?  Maybe you should have translated it into Turkish.

TOI KHONG SO ANH

SOCRATES:  Thanks, I think.

SWITZERLAND- Hi hcuot enots, how am I doing?

Moscow to London:  And they call the wind moriah.

GM to Moscow:  Ask me if I Carey....

AUSTRIA to TURKEY:  I hope you remember what happened to your Turkey the last time you double-crossed a  female-ruled Austria.  Does the name "Kathy Caruso" ring a bell?  You better have learned your lesson because I can be a most excellent remedial teacher should the need arise.  Or should anything else "arise".

ITALY to AUSTRIA:  Let me be your "Count of Monte Crisco" !

GM to MAZZERMAN:  That's "Cristo" but I think Daf's more than willing....

AUSTRIA to FRANCE: Why don't we double-team Mikey-boy?  I'll take care of his front area and you can watch out for his rear.

PARIS to ROME:  Don't worry, I got your back, lover!

MAZZERMAN to FRANCE:  You get out of my Piedmont!

AUSTRIA TO ITALY: How'd you like to be in the middle of a menage-a-trois with me and France?  I call it the "beast with two backs"?

GM to AUSTRIA:  I bet both backs get stabbed in this game! And now it's "Question Time"

PARIS to SOCRATES:  Why have you surrounded my nation with Californians?  Well if they are from San Francisco I might could learn to like it I suppose.

ENGLAND to ILIAD:  Anybody else like Van Halen and Ted Nugent?  Diamond Dave rocks!

ITALY to ALL:  Any of the new guys here soccer fanatics like I am?

GM to TURKEY:  Chum, have you got any answers for these guys?

CONSTANTINOPLE:  I have many talents but omniscience isn't one of them.

GM to CONSTANTINOPLE:  Maybe you can help out on this next press release?  Please?

ST Petersburg:  Well see, Mr. Officer, Sir--BLAP!!!!---Don't hit me no more, yes sir, I'll tell you what happened. Mr. Charles, he was, he was, he was killed outright but Miss Baby was all right and me and Junior turned her head around.

RED DUCHESS TO ILIAD:  Sounds kinky---I'm in!

SOCRATES to DAF:  Is there "anything" that you won't do?

Vienna to Rome:  And I know all about the "beast with two backs"----I was in a sorority after all.  In fact the only thing I haven't done yet is get it simultaneously from both ends by a set of identical male twins Most people don't know that there is a difference between identical twins and fraternal twins and would stop before they had, ahem, attained their goal of experiencing everything. You guys must think I'm an awful flirt.

SOCRATES to VIENNA:  You got someone thinking that's for sure....

Warsaw to Vienna:  Wanna jigglelate my luhtisibles? I'm a voluptuary volunteer.

AUSTRIA to GAME:  I'm just a poor girl who can't say "no" !

GM to Austria:  If you're keeping score that's a "V V" for a "D D", Double D that is.

GM to ILIAD:  "ORIGINAL UNITS---WHERE THEY ARE NOW" this turn looks at.....Italy's Army Venice. Today, two game years later in Fall 1902, Army Venice is still there, having never left Venice at all.  Alone, among all the 22 original units, only Army Venice remains in its starting point  At this rate it may be setting a hobby record.

PARIS to England and Italy: You boys can fight a sea-battle over the Mid-Atlantic if you like, as I'm guessing you did,  but at the end of the day, it's going to be French so prepare to vacate.

SOCRATES to PARIS:  Seems like there is a lot of "sea-ing" going on around you....

Russia to France-  I see Paris, I see France, I see Gary's underpants.

VIENNA to TURKISH BLACK SEA FLEET: You see I offered you my support.  Did you take it?

SOCRATES to VIENNA: He didn't. No doubt AM preferred him in a Wonder Bra instead of your Double D! Stephanie thinks I look best in "A" cups or is that FA cups?

ITALY to GM:  So who do you like for the FA Cup?  Arsenal or Chelsea?

GM to Soccer-Mad Mazzer: I meant to answer this before for you, in the Odyssey press, so I'm reprinting it here.  Chelsea!    Not to despair, one of the geriatric standbys, uh "generic" standbys is also a soccer fan.  Presenting Steve "Judas" Emmert....

STEVE EMMERT to DON WILLIAMS:  Glad to see a growing interest in soccer in the US as shown by the "Deny Everything" press. I absolutely loved the World Cup, but my interest, too, will probably go into hibernation for about three years, until qualification for WC 2006 starts heating up.  I can't get too excited about a Champions' League match between Manchester United and Real Madrid, but I'd have taken any match in the Cup, even for nations I have little interest in.

MARSEILLE to GAME:  Sorry guys but with this season, I can't continue this game.  I found this to be more time-consuming than I thought and it's better to break it off now rather than linger on not able to devote the time necessary that the position deserves. I'm sure Don will find a good replacement.

GM to MARSEILLE:  Woody?!  Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Parigi a gioco padrino:  Volontà "nego tutto"! Quando il tempo è di destra, riceverete la vostra copia. Trasmettereste questo a Andreuccio -- il mio stampatore ancora non sta funzionando. Noti l'indirizzo della duchessa rossa che è sotto. È la mia radura italiana abbastanza nel relativo significato se non cento per cento corretta?

Russia to GM:  Mama told me not to come!

GM to DAF:  Anything to say to that, Daf?

DAF to GM:  No, I won't say it.  It's too dirty and too obvious.

GM to DAF:  Oh, please, give me a break....

Russia to Iliad: Wid me talaria and me ichor, I can't be stopped from going places.

GM to Russia and Iliad: Some of us are already in a place of their own...See you in September!

 

 

Diplomacy is the copyrighted product but the lesson that is to be learned by you  is that you should always read the fine print of any printed material. If there is any doubrt whatsoever on your part now, this publication is indeed a fake.  Che non scorregi !